by Rita Hestand
"What would you possibly get out of this?" She called out to him. "Les…" she corrected quickly.
He glanced over his shoulder and a slight smile lit his mouth, "I figure when a man meets his maker, he needs a few good deeds on his side. I'm not for hire ma'am." He tipped his hat and walked out. "I'm for justice."
She stared after him.
What manner of man was he? Why did he care?
She'd never met a man like Les Harper before. He was rough, tough, and somewhere down deep under all that guts and glory was a man with a huge heart. She smiled to herself.
Still, she knew he was dangerous in another way too. In some strange way, in the corner of her heart, she felt a bond growing between her and Les Harper, and she didn't know how to handle that. She should stop it now, before it got out of control, but she wasn't sure she wanted to. She wanted to fight the attraction, to ignore it, but it was there and it wasn't going away. It grew stronger every day. It was scary, because he could break her heart easily. How did she protect herself from that? Knowing she was headed for a huge kind of heartbreak she needed to distract herself from him. But how?
She wasn't capable of having a relationship with a man. She'd never wanted a relationship. Even Mark, who had married her, given her a home and family, didn't love her. Love had eluded her life…
No, she silently scolded herself. She couldn't have feelings for this man. He was a man with a gun. He'd stay a while, but not forever. And she was still just a woman in a wheelchair.
Telling her mind that was one thing, telling her heart was another. A small part of her wanted to explore this feeling, another part warned her of the consequences.
He'd break her heart the day he would ride away. She knew that. She couldn't allow herself to feel things. It would only lead to her disaster. She'd shielded herself from this kind of thing for years.
Kindness no matter how freely given could become a burden.
It was impossible to have such strong and deep feelings for a man she barely knew. He'd only been here a few days. And yet, he had turned her world upside down. How could that be? How could a man come into your life so briefly and make that profound an effect?
She'd known Mark for several years, lived with him, worked with him, and yet there hadn't been this kind of bond. They had slept separately, and when he died she had closed that room off and never went in it. It was filled with pictures and things of his first wife and she never allowed herself to go in there. But she did allow her son, so that he would have some bond with his real mother too.
However, this strange and wonderful feeling growing between her and Les was something her heart had craved forever. To turn her back on it, would be like destroying all her hopes and dreams. It didn't make a bit of sense, but if she could glean something from, it might be worth it.
She wished with all her heart that she could walk, but the surgery she needed to fix her legs cost too much money and she refrained from ever thinking she'd be normal again. There would never be enough money to fix them. She scolded herself silently for even thinking about it.
Some things were simply impossible.
She had to keep her distance and keep her feelings to herself, so when Les left, he'd take her heart, but she'd still have her dignity.
He'd help them…and then he'd ride off.
Chapter Eight
Now that Les was healing, he slept in the barn. He needed to be moving along. But he kept finding excuses to stay one more day. One day turned into a week.
She loaned Les some clean clothes that her husband left, and he could wear the shirts, but the pants weren't long enough for him. So one day she offered to wash his pants and he wore her husband's pants. He felt very stupid when the pants came up above his ankles.
He borrowed her husband's razor and shaved. He felt strange wearing another man's clothes. Caring about another man's wife. Even if he were dead. And he did care about Anna, and Frankie too!
He knew he wouldn't leave, not yet. Frankie was in danger, and the way he saw it, Frankie was all she had.
They'd find him soon enough, and all hell would break lose. He should go, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to leave the woman and boy yet. She needed help, and he knew that. Still, he had a job to do and she complicated things.
He scolded himself for letting things get to this point.
He wasn't sure why he was so involved in such a short span of time, but he was. He'd always wanted to help people, that's why be became a lawman. But there was more to this than the law or helping, and he knew it. When he looked into her eyes, he knew she knew it.
It was a silent bond. A long as it remained silent and unnamed they were both safe.
But when he came in the house and found her lying on the floor the next day, her chair overturned, he rushed to her side. He couldn't help the way his heart hammered in his ears as he kneeled to the floor.
"What happened?" He asked taking her in his arms and righting the chair at the same time. "Why didn't you call for me…?" His voice was gruff.
That's when it happened, he was holding her in his arms, in mid-air, and she looked up at him, and he looked down into those warm brown eyes of her, and he kissed her.
Not just a peck like he thought he was going to, but a full blown kiss that knocked his boots off and scattered his brains. He never imagined such a sweetness as her lips offered him. And she returned the kiss full fold. Stunned he couldn’t do anything but hang on to her. It was a long moment before he pulled his head reluctantly away and stared down into confused brown eyes.
"I didn't mean anything by that…" he began with such a rasp.
She shrugged, "Oh…no…neither did I?" She was breathless.
He glanced down at her and a smile lit his lips. "I think we're both lying about that."
"You can put me down now…" she barely breathed.
~*~
He set her down slowly in the chair, her arm falling against the chair arm with a boneless gesture. Being that close had both of them backing off. She tried to compose herself. She couldn't ignore things. She smelled the clean scent of him, felt the softness of his hair brush her cheek and felt his breath on her face as he stared just as startled as she. And his lips…were so soft, so warm…so inviting. Dear God, she had enjoyed it.
She'd never enjoyed such a kiss in her life.
He moved away from her with exaggerated slowness, but not before his eyes dropped to her lips again.
She licked them and blushed.
"It's the rut. I'm going to have to fix that…." She began her voice raspy with emotions not spoken.
"No ma'am. I'll fix it. And you stay put over on this side of the table until I'm done." He instructed her.
"I can't ask you to do that!" She cried out. "I'm so tired of being beholden."
"You aren't, not to me!" He reassured her. "And you don't have to ask." His voice held some strange frustration. "Now drink your coffee. Where's your hammer and nails? This is a man's job." He glanced around for hardware and saw none. He was obviously distracting himself from the moment. She didn't blame him.
"Out on the back porch…" she nodded trying to compose her own irrational thoughts.
"Got any scrap lumber?"
"There might be some out there. I haven't been out there in a while." She remarked taking a sip of coffee to calm her nerves. The kiss was unexpected and she had to put things back in proper perspective. After all, it was only a kiss. Most women had plenty of kisses, however, she wasn't most women.
"How come?" He asked curiously as he examined the rut.
"How come what?"
"How come you haven't been out here," he called.
"It's hard getting the chair out there. I usually send Frankie if I need something." She caught her breath finally and tired to relax. She willed herself to relax, and forget that brief but sweet encounter. She couldn't allow him to know how breathless he had made her. Being that close to a man, close enough to caress his cheek, to kiss his jaw…oh dea
r God, this would never do. She was falling in love with the man and she barely knew him. Not only that, but she was a cripple, and totally unable to properly love a man. She knew that being a cripple afforded her a barrier to people and she had used it when necessary. But this was one time she wished fervently she could face him with the truth.
"You okay?" He bent down and tipped her chin up to look into her face.
"Just catching my breath is all…" She stared into his eyes and everything stood still for a minute. He knew better. How could she handle this.
He nodded and moved away. He seemed to know and it shamed her that he knew.
She exhaled a breath.
He went out back and seemed to be scrounging around for what he needed. Going through a can of nails, and moving things to find what he was looking for. Directly he came back inside.
"Did you find what you needed?" She asked when he came back into the room with some supplies.
"It'll do…" He grimaced.
Silence filled the air, and she had to say something. "You said you are a Ranger. Don't you have to get back to that?"
"Sure I do."
She nodded and firmed her lips.
"But who shot you, one of the outlaws?"
"No, I was shot when we robbed the bank. I mean, yeah, it could have been Bird, he was behind me. Or the posse. I really don't know." Seeing her confusion he went on to explain. "I'm working under cover, they don’t know I'm a ranger. I had to join the gang to help round them up. But it didn't quite work out that way. Bird, the leader may have shot me himself, since I was carrying the money. He never did trust me. I got the money to safety, but they killed one of our men."
"And you think the leader of the gang shot you?"
"I don't know for sure. There was a lot of shooting going on coming out of that bank. It could have been anyone. The Sheriff didn't know who I was, so it could have been him. He'll know now, as I'm sure they've found out about Jones being dead."
"Jones, who is Jones?
"One of my contacts. A ranger."
"It sounds very complicated, but.." she began, only to be cut off by him.
"Ma'am, I'd sure appreciate some of that coffee about now."
"Oh…of course…" She moved to get the pot and bring it to the table. She had cups sitting on the table and she poured him some.
"You're not going to tell me any more, are you?" She asked watching his every move.
"No ma'am. The less you know the better." He explained. He turned around and stared at her now, "And I mean that. You knowing anything puts you in danger. I only told you this much to relieve your mind. I'll be moving on before long and it's better this way."
"I suppose it isn't any of my business." She fretted.
"That's right, ma'am."
She felt the sting of those words.
"Will you quit ma'aming me?" She scolded. "My name is Anna." She insisted. "Despite the fact that I'm in this chair, I’m still a human being."
He nodded but didn't say any more. He did toss her a curious glance though and a slight smile. He liked her spunk. He actually liked her little temper flares. "Yes ma'am, you sure are human…"
He talked about the outlaws, about his job, and then suddenly it was back to the kiss.
She tried to stop the blush from creeping up her cheeks, but she knew he saw.
Within an hour he had managed to patch the flooring, all he needed now was to sand it down so she could pull her chair over it easily. He went back out to the porch to look for something to smooth the wood down. He came back with some shark skin.
"I can't believe you would have this…" He showed it to her.
"What is it?" She asked not recognizing it.
"It's shark's skin, I can smooth out the wood with this. Not many people have it here, it's used mostly back east on the big ships and stuff."
"How do you happen to know that?" She asked curiously.
"My grandfather was from the Boston area. He talked about it, he made me a small replica of a ship as a birthday present. Only birthday present I ever got. I still have the ship in my saddlebags. But I never thought I'd find this here. You've got a wealth of good stuff out there, you know."
"Actually, I didn't know. My husband loved working with wood…"
"Well he's certainly had the tools for it, ma'am."
"Thank you," she said meekly. "And I'm sorry for the outburst. I'm not prone to be short with people."
"It's not your fault, it's mine." He finally looked directly at her. His gaze was piercing. "Ma'am, I mean Anna, I'm not being mysterious on purpose. The less you know about things, the better off you and Frankie will be. Do you understand? When I leave here you must forget you ever knew me."
"That will be hard to do." She blurted, but seeing his expression went on to explain. "You've been a lot of help."
He frowned, and his voice hardened as though he forced it to, "Nonetheless, do as I tell you about this. I'm not used to sharing my troubles. And I certainly didn't mean to bring mine on you, but they might come here. I can tell you one thing though, I am a Ranger, and I'm going to catch them soon. It's just that they don't know that. And I'd appreciate it greatly if you'd keep that to yourself. But that's all I can tell you. I wouldn't have told you that, but I didn't want you to worry about me being here. As long as I'm here, you have nothing to fear. I'll protect you and Frankie."
"I thank you for…that," she sounded contrite.
He leaned against the counter, staring at her. "Look lady, in a few days I'm pulling out." She looked away. "I'll do my best to make sure this land grab is settled before I leave. There's no need to share anything…else."
"Yes of course, we've done enough sharing."
She swallowed hard, and a tear almost fell.
He saw it and he reached to pull her chin up. "Don't you cry, don't you dare cry!" He snapped. "I know you are human. That's part of the problem. So let it rest, for both our sakes."
"I wasn't crying…." she hardened her reserve and turned away from him. "I faced the facts about my disability a long time ago."
He pulled her chin back around, "Yes you were, but don't ever let a man get the best of you. Ever! You're a beautiful young woman, you have a really nice kid. If I had the money…you'd be out of that chair for good."
His touch sent strange and wonderful sensations through her and she nearly collapsed trying not to show it.
She nodded, unable to speak at the moment.
He winked, smiled and turned back to his task.
She exhaled slowly, and scolded herself silently for feeling anything. She couldn't allow this. She wouldn't allow this!
She was fond of Les Harper and she didn't even know who he was. Or did she? She studied him a long moment, then blurted out.
"I'm glad you’re a Ranger?" She whispered as though to herself.
He came up to her bent down and stared into her eyes. "Don't ever repeat that again. Do you understand. After I'm gone, if anyone comes. You don't know me. You never heard of me. You've got to remember that, you've got to. And Frankie too. No one must know. Do you understand."
She nodded and a white-hot fear spread through her. "Yes, I think I do understand, now."
He backed away as quickly as he had come near. She wasn't afraid of what he said, she was afraid of what she felt when he did come near. And that was a real fear. She'd never let her heart love, especially since the accident. She'd never felt anything like that except for Frankie. She was in real danger of losing her heart to a man that would ride off soon and never come back. Something she vowed never to do.
She had better sense than that.
Perhaps it was the gallant way he had come to her defense when she faced Ledbetter, or the way he rode off to talk to a judge for her. Or the fact that he was attractive and he looked at her the way he did. The way no other man had. The fact that he didn't get angry, when she did.
But it wasn't something she could control any longer and she knew she had to hide it from this man.<
br />
"Are these men, that will be looking for you bad?" She asked. "Should I fear them?"
"Yes ma'am, but just play dumb. And don't dare let them know you fear them. That gives them the advantage."
She smiled for a moment, "I can do that, easily. I'm used to it. Mr. Ledbetter has taught me that lesson."
He turned to look at her again, and smiled.
"Okay, it's fixed for now." He told her. "I sanded it down so it shouldn't give those wheels a problem."
"Thank you." She managed. "Les…"
"Yeah."
"You don't have to worry now, I know what to do. And thank you for telling me." She said bravely. "At least I know what's coming, and how to handle it. We'll be fine."
He nodded.
But as he walked off, he whispered under his breath, "You're quite a woman…Anna."
Chapter Nine
Frankie came in that evening with a guitar in his hands. She'd seen it a time or two, but it had been a while since he had it out or played it. He sat down at the kitchen table and started singing a song to his Ma.
Anna turned all her attention on him. When he finished the first song, he stopped.
"That was lovely. But, I thought the strings were broke on that old thing."
"Just one, I borrowed one from Mr. Harvey."
Anna's eyes widened. "You saw Mr. Harvey?"
"Yeah, he was mending fences and I saw him on the way home from school." Frankie stopped playing long enough to talk to her about it.
"What did he say?"
"Not a lot. Wanted to know how you were. Saw my guitar and once I told him I couldn't play it because I lost a string, he told me he'd loan me one of his. So I walked over and got it. He offered me some milk, and since I was tired from walkin', I took it. That's about all, why?"
"Did he say anything about Les?"
"No."
"Did you say anything about him being here?"
"No Ma, you told me not to."
Anna let out a breath. "That's good honey. Sometimes the less people know, the better."