by Rita Hestand
"Then enlighten me." He took her hand once more.
"I've tried to tell you in a million different ways. I married Mark without love. I won't marry again without it. I just can't. I'm sorry."
"But Anna, this would solve all your problems." He insisted. "And I've come to realize I have feelings for you Anna, real feelings."
That was another thing she didn't like. He insisted so much of the time. She'd spent most of her adult life with men who insisted on her doing one thing or another. No more. She wanted to live her life and feel alive, even as an invalid.
"I'm sorry…"
"Is this your last word on it?" He asked his eyes hoping for more.
"Yes, I'm afraid so…"
He nodded, "Then I'll be going. Anna your making a big mistake, that man out there will ride off, and then where will you be?"
"I'll be here, Mr. Harvey, me and Frankie will be here."
"I ask you again, has this man been improper?"
She glared at him now, "You haven't the right to ask such a question of me. But I'll tell you once more, no!"
"The way he looks at you says otherwise, that's why I ask it."
"How could he be? Les has never been improper. Why would he?"
"It's plain he thinks a great deal of you or he wouldn't be defending you." Mr. Harvey frowned at her. "And good Lord woman, you've only known him a week."
"Perhaps it's pity that he feels." Anna reasoned. "But the difference in you and him, is that he doesn't see me just as an invalid. He sees me as a woman."
"He looked at you like a man who recognizes beauty." Mr. Harvey head hung. "Have you fallen for him?"
"Mr. Harvey!" Anna wailed. "This is utter nonsense. I can't have relations with a man, any man. How can you suggest anything?"
"Well he sure wants something from you. And I'm afraid you still have a heart."
"I do…now, I think you better go home…" Anna cried a real tear falling down her cheek. "I'm very tired of our conversation every time you come to see me. The answer is no, Mr. Harvey. No!"
"I didn't mean to upset you, my dear. You know how I feel about you."
Her head jerked up, "I know, and I don't understand why. I cannot be a real wife to you…or any man."
"Just holding your hand, just kissing you, would be enough for me…" He rasped. "I know it isn't proper to speak like this, but your husband's been dead for four years now. And I've gotten to know you so well. We can help each other Anna, don't you see?"
He hovered over her now, and came closer. He leaned to kiss her and she was very still. When her head flew up, he frowned. "Someday you'll regret this."
Anna drew breath, "I'm sorry Mr. Harvey, but I'm not in love with you…And I won't live like that again."
"Are you in love with him?"
"Who?"
"That man that is staying here, Les. Do you know how that looks. Do you know what people would say?"
"I know exactly what people would say." Anna's fury was building. "I love Frankie. He's my child. He's all I have, all I need. Don't you see, I'm an invalid, but…I have feelings too. I can't help that. And it's not anyone, I repeat, anyone's business who I care about. But Mr. Harvey, I don't have those kinds of feelings for you. I'm being honest with you because I don't want to hurt you. You must understand, once and for all. I just don't. And I won't live with another man that I have no feelings for. My husband Mark didn't love me, he loved his dead wife. He never got over her. I understood that when I married him. But I will not live with a man without love, again. Now, good day to you. I'm very tired."
Mr. Harvey stood up, and started to come closer, but she backed away. "Good day…" she said, as tears slid down her cheek.
"I can't help how I feel Anna, I still want you."
"Want me? That's impossible."
"I didn't mean it that way." He corrected quickly.
"I'm sure you didn't. I can't help how I feel either, and I wish I could. I truly do." That's when she lost control and broke into tears.
He started to comfort her and she waved him away.
"Please, just leave me alone now, " She begged.
He finally left. But Anna was a wreck.
Chapter Ten
It was that same afternoon when three of her friends from church came riding up in a wagon into her yard. Anna could not believe she had so much company, all on the same day.
She met them at the door, her mind reeling at the company she'd had today. Drained by her emotions, she wasn't up to this. Who else would show up today?
This was not the day for visitors. She needed time to get over Mr. Harvey's proposal.
"You missed church this morning. We worried something was wrong." Betsy said as she put the coffee on the stove and got the cups out for everyone.
"I'm sorry, I've had people over all day!" Anna sighed glad she didn't have to serve them.
"Really, who?" They all sat around the table with her.
"Well…uh…Mr. Harvey, Mr. Ledbetter…"
"Oh, Mr. Harvey told us he was going to propose. Did he?" Betsy asked her smile wide, her eyes dancing with anticipation.
Anna folded her lips together, "Yes, he did."
"And did you accept?" Martha Weeks asked, holding her breath. Martha was the shy one, but even she was eager to congratulate Anna.
"No…I did not." Anna shook her head.
"Oh no! This is awful. He was so happy…what happened?" Tara Morrison asked as she stared at Anna.
Anna picked at something on the tablecloth for a moment not looking them in the eye. "I'm not in love with him." Anna told them. "I told him so before. I didn't want to lead him on. He has got to understand that. This isn't the first time I've told him."
"Oh dear, how embarrassing, he's already told the preacher. They were making plans."
Anna looked at them in shock. "Why would he do such a thing?"
"I don't know, but that's why we were so sure you'd said yes!" Tara exclaimed. "Is there a reason you would turn him down? He's a fine catch and there are several that I know of personally that would love to marry up with him."
"Of course, Tara, I don't love him!" Anna nearly shouted her frustration.
Betsy looked at her, "But he built these cabinets for you and the ramp. He's helped you so many ways. How could you not love him?"
"As a good friend, yes, but not as a husband!" she bent her head now, trying to keep her temper at bay. Her frustrations multiplying by every word they spoke. "I have married one man I did not love, I will not marry another without it. You should all be able to understand it, you're women. Just because I'm in this chair doesn't mean I don't have normal feelings."
Just about that time Les came inside, without his shirt and all the girls gasped. Their gasps were so loud it was like a wind blowing through the house.
Anna's eyes flew to his flat chest and waist, to the tapering of his hips. She felt herself grow warm, despite everything.
Les looked sheepishly at Anna, "Frankie and I got the pump to working again. Just thought I'd let you know…" He walked out as quickly as he walked in.
The girls crowded around her now, their eyes rolling and then staring into hers. "Oh, so that's why?"
Anna tried to get hold of herself. But anger mixed with laughter made her sound almost crazy.
"Who is he?" Tara asked.
A bubble of laughter escaped her. "His name is Les Harper and he stopped here when it stormed the other day, and he was shot in the leg and rested in the barn. Frankie found him there. I dug the bullet out of his leg and he's mending now." She announced. "He's doing a few odd chores around the place, to pay me for my kindness in helping him. That's all there is to it."
"Looks like he's mended rather well, I'd say," Betsy giggled.
"How long has he been here?" Tara narrowed her accusing gaze on her.
"I don't know…a week or so…"
"Well we certainly know why now, don't we?" Betsy pulled her nose to the air.
Suddenly Anna burst out
laughing again. When they stared at her, she shrugged. "Are you forgetting, I'm a cripple? Exactly what do you think I could do? If I was a mind to, that is."
"Oh well…we didn't mean….anything…" Betsy began then burst out chuckling, "I guess you're right about that. But he sure is a looker.
"Yes, I can see that. At least you all have known me long enough not to think of me as cripple. And that's flattering. I'm afraid that's where me and Mr. Harvey don't get along." She glanced around the room. "Les is just a very nice man, who has helped me."
"Oh how?" They giggled.
"Yes, pray tell how?" Tara asked with a giggle.
"He was here when Ledbetter came to warn me off the place. He defended me. Then he went to a judge in Sweet Water and found out that I being Frankie's legal guardian and Frankie being the only heir was enough to hold up in court. So the judge sent a letter to Ledbetter. And ever since, Ledbetter has been talking deals to me." Anna chuckled.
"Oh Anna, I'm so happy for you. It would be terrible if you had to leave Frankie's dad out there, and Elizabeth."
"I know, that's why I've fought so hard to keep this land, for Frankie…It belongs to him. I don't want anyone taking that away from him. He's lost enough."
The girls all nodded. "You know, Frankie considers you his mother, Anna. He's never known any other…"
"Well girls, we better be going. But honestly Anna, he's not your type. And Mr. Harvey really cares about you."
"I know. Frankie is my son, no matter what others might thing. He is my son. I've raised him and I love him dearly. The reason I haven't accepted Mr. Harvey's generous offer, is that he simply wants companionship from me. I want love. And please, understand, I know it would take a heck of a man to take me as I am."
"But in a chair…crippled?" Betsy caught her mouth when she'd said too much. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
"Good day ladies." Anna bit her tongue not to spew her temper on them.
~*~
When Les came back in the house again, he saw her eyes were red. She'd been crying. Something in his heart squeezed hard on him. It was like being hit in the chest. Why did it bother him so? Why did everything about her bother him so?
It shocked him how deep his feelings were running for this woman and her child. It was time to move on, but somehow he just couldn't seem to leave her. He knew he should.
"Something wrong, Anna?" He had to ask.
"Nothing of importance…" She muttered miserably.
But he crouched down in front of her and took her hands in his. "Must be, you've been crying."
"I've had too much company today. They just don't understand. I told them I wasn't marrying Mr. Harvey and they jumped to conclusion when they saw you."
Suddenly, she started to laugh, a soft sweet laugh.
"What's so funny."
"I've known them so long, they forget I'm crippled. I love that."
He looked solemnly at her. "I forget that too, sometimes…" He said very softly, staring into her eyes.
She glanced up at him, "Well, you must'n."
"Can't help it." He pulled her chin up to look into her beautiful eyes. Suddenly, he reached to pull her to him and kissed her solidly on the lips.
She gasped and he took the opportunity to move his tongue inside her mouth. When he finally pulled away, he smiled, "I've wanted to do that all day long…"
She licked her lips and stared at him for a moment. He hadn't moved an inch.
"Why did you do that?" She asked breathless.
"Just couldn't help myself, ma'am." He smiled. "You're not just a cripple Anna. You're a woman. A beautiful woman, and not just on the outside."
"That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." She smiled. "Thank you!"
Jess washed his hands at the sink, and dried them. "I better finish up outside, it's getting late."
"Supper will be ready soon…" she said trying not to put too much importance on that kiss. And yet something sprang inside her, it was…hope!
No one had kissed her like that before. And strangely it was so welcomed. She needed it. Especially after the day she'd had.
At the supper table everyone was unusually quiet. Frankie looked from his mom to Les. "Somethin' wrong?"
"No, just a long day, honey." Anna told him.
"We got that pump fixed Ma, it works great now!"
"That's wonderful…"
"You sure had a lot of company today, Ma." Frankie spouted.
"Yes, too much for one day…"
"Did they wear you out?"
"Yes, I think they did. But, I do want to tell you. Mr. Ledbetter is going to talk with me about what we can do to help both of us. I think he's beginning to understand."
"Really, you mean we might can stay?"
"Yes, I mean we might can stay," She smiled.
Frankie hugged her around the neck, and he went outside for a while.
Later he came back inside.
After supper she read to Frankie for a while, then he went to bed. She decided to retire too. Les walked outside, but he hadn't gone into the barn. Instead he walked around the house, restless and wondering about why he kissed Anna, twice! They were such good people, his mind pleaded with him. She was a wonderful woman.
But he knew why. He'd known for some time. It was the same reason he hadn't left yet. He had feelings for her. He liked her…a lot.
When he passed by her bedroom window, she was undressing. Her back was to the window at first but she'd just taken her clothes off and was about to slip her gown over her head when she heard something, whirled around in her chair.
For a second, she just sat there and stared, and so did he. The way he looked at her, with such bold hot desire in his eyes. Her mouth fell open. He had his hat in his hand, he put it on his head, and tipped it to her and left for the barn.
She sat paralyzed by the experience. She hadn't meant for that to happen. She hadn't meant to just sit there and let him look. It was the look in his eyes that had paralyzed her for the moment. She saw raw desire! For her!
No man had ever desired her. No man.
Part of her was ashamed, but another part of her grabbed her heart and hung on. Her heartbeat was thundering in her ears. She'd never felt so alive in her life. She'd been an invalid for four long years, and this was the first time she really felt like a woman in all those years.
Was it wrong? She didn't know.
She silently prayed that it wasn't.
Finally coming to her senses, Anna grabbed her gown and flushing she threw it over her head.
She was shameless! She should have turned away immediately, but he held her spellbound. She couldn't move, react, nothing, just stare. Was it really much different that her staring at his naked chest this afternoon?
Her heart was hammering like a loud drum.
Chapter Eleven
That's when they rode into the yard, quiet like. Three of them. Les heard the horses and turned just as he was about to go into the barn.
They walked up to him, with their guns cocked and motioned him to the house and walked right in, as Anna seldom locked the door.
"Well now, look what we got here. We begin to think we wouldn't find you…" A man with a long scar on his face said as he pulled his gun on Frankie, who was about to get ready for bed as they all walked into the house.
Knowing Anna was inside the bedroom, maybe not even dressed, Les moved away slowly, so as not to alert them.
"I thought I heard…." he looked at the men. "Something." Frankie looked at Les as Les came to stand protectively in front of him. If they tried to hurt the boy, he'd cut them down.
Les started to reach for his gun but realized quickly that Swanson already had the draw on him and he was afraid Anna or Frankie might get hurt. He hoped Anna would stay in her bedroom.
If Les hadn't been so worried about Anna he'd have heard them, but his mind wasn't working, his heart was.
"Swanson," Les nodded, his eyes straying to Frankie a time or two.
"Well now Les, what did you do, settle down and have a kid?" Swanson chuckled harshly.
"No…"
Then the door opened and Anna came out, fully dressed again. She looked at Les and flushed, then at the others. Startled by yet more company, she let out a long sigh. "I don't believe it!" She shook her head.
"Believe what, ma'am?" Swanson asked staring at her.
"I've never had this much company in my life."
"Well now what we got here?" One of them laughed.
Anna wheeled herself close to Frankie.
"Who are you and what do you want?" She asked.
"She's pretty enough. Looks like a ready-made family to me." Colby chuckled.
"Take Les' gun Colby." Swanson said moving his cigar from one side of his mouth to the other.
Colby moved to take Les' gun.
"Where's the money?" Swanson asked as he took his hat off and hung it on the peg against the wall where Les usually put his when he came in.
"I don't have it." Les told them, with a frown.
"Don't have it? Then what did you do with it, bury it?" Colby asked, he was the shorter of the three, but he was about ten times faster with the gun than Swanson or Junior.
Junior was a big fella, with muscles that bulged and he had to wear suspenders as his pants kept falling down on him. Junior seemed more interested in the woman and kid. "He's lyin'."
"Who are they?" Swanson nodded his gun in Anna's direction.
"This is Anna Prescott and her son Frankie." Les answered.
"They got the money?" Junior asked, passing his gun under Anna's nose. Anna sat stone still, she didn't move, but she wasn't afraid either.
Les bristled but knew how important it was to remain calm and not let them see his anger. "They don't know anything about the money. Leave them alone." Les stood up and faced Swanson.
"Bird ain't gonna like this." Swanson eyed him, then the woman. "He ain't gonna like this one bit."