by Leaona Luxx
COPYRIGHT© 2017 Changing Lanes by Leaona Luxx
All rights reserved. Except as permitted by U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior permission of the author.
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, or organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Changing Lanes is intended for 18+ older, and for mature audiences only.
Photography by Pink Ink Design
Model BT Urruela
Cover Design by TE Black Designs
Editing and Formatting by Masque of the Red Pen
“Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us.”
Unknown
To my three sons—The Juggernaut, The Historian, and The Humanitarian.
At the age of seventeen, I began this journey into motherhood. Fear, mistakes, and inexperience making the task an uphill battle. We grew up together, learning to walk before we could run. You stood in front of me as I always put you first, watching you grow into fine young men. You stood behind me while I finished college, cheering me on. You stand beside me as adults, equal. I can never thank you enough for holding my hand through my shortcomings or holding me up, when I couldn’t carry on. The men you have become shows me, no matter who people decide I am, you have proven, who I am not. I stand in awe of the amazing people you are, the love and kindness for your fellow man is astonishing. I am not only proud to be your mother but honored to be your friend. Do not allow this world to dull your light.
“Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
Dylan Thomas
TABLE of CONTENTS
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Acknowledgments
About Leaona
“Thank you, Mom. I appreciate the party. Everything you bought for my dorm is great. You shouldn’t have, though.” Leaning in, I place a soft kiss on the crown of her head. She pats my arm as I draw her closer to wrap my arms around her.
She returns my bear hug as vigorously as I give. “No thanks needed, honey. I’m proud of you.”
“I know.” I release her from my hold. “I’m gonna head out for a while. Say goodbye to a few people,” adding as I push the screen door open.
“Alright. Don’t be too late, though, you have a long drive tomorrow.” She smiles warmly as I let the door close behind me.
I take Highway Seventeen into the city until the beach comes into focus. My friends are on the beach with a bonfire and beers. It’s my last day here, tomorrow I leave for college. Hanging out with my people is exactly what I need before I go.
I park beside the last dune, taking the closest steps up to the beach. The sun is just setting on Myrtle, there’s a glorious hue of bright yellow and orange on the horizon. Waves crash the shore just as I spot my crew as the flames of the bonfire roar to life.
“Brannon,” Josh yells in the nick of time for me to catch a glimpse of the can flying at me.
“Damn. Seriously, dude. You trying to kill me?” Snatching the brew from the air just before it cold-cocks me.
“Shut the fuck up with your whining and get your ass over here.” Josh grins at me. We’ve been friends since grade school. Like most small towns, everyone knows everybody.
He’s such a smartass. “Fuck you,” I mumble as I settle in next to Josh by the fire. Josh is tall and wiry; I’d snap his head off his neck.
“You all packed?” Zack asks just as Kat settles in his lap. They’ve dated for two years now, it’s kinda weird because they were best friends before they hooked up. No one saw it coming, oddly enough. He’s a beast at six-five and broad as a barn. Kat’s small, blonde frame melts into his big bear arms.
I take a pull from my beer. “Yeah, I’m ready to roll.” I’ve gotten in more trouble with this bunch than I’d like to remember. Small town adventures, big time memories.
“Won’t be the same without you, man. But we all knew there were bigger things out there for you. Proud as hell of you.” Josh punches me in the shoulder as he speaks. What’s with the sad shit?
“I can tell. What’s up with all the abuse, numb nuts.” I punch his thigh, a little harder than the hit he gave me. Reminding him who can kick whose ass.
“Just showin’ you some tough love before you get out in the real world.” Everyone laughs at Josh’s remark. Tough love like this might make me stay away forever. I’ve had enough tough love in my life to last forever.
Three beers in, I know I’ll be calling a cab to get home tonight. I may be eighteen and drinking, but I ain’t stupid. Well, not totally. Just as I’m thinking it, I look up to see Ava walking toward me. Lord help me, she’ll be the death of me.
Ava is everything a guy could want. She’s curvy with long black hair and the deepest green eyes. A smile that could bring the strongest man to his knees. She also has a killer rack. A teenage boy’s wet dream, and she’s given me a many over the years. She’s also driven me mad.
Honestly, Ava is amazing, but we’re old news. After dating for four years, we ran our course. At least, I’m done. Ava, not so much. She refuses to understand; I don’t want to be in a relationship with her. She believes I’m having growing pains. Or I’ll go to college and get homesick. Not likely.
Nevertheless, I’ve moved on. At least, I’ve tried for six months now. She won’t give up. Other girls won’t date me because of Ava. So, college is a welcome change. Somewhere Ava isn’t.
I want to remain friends, but my choices as of late may make it impossible. I’ve made some bad decisions concerning this girl, and I’ll be damned if I’m not about to make another. Sam Hunt serenades us as the star’s shine brightly. The fire crackles making the goose bumps on my arm seem all too natural as Ava walks closer to me.
I can smell the lavender in her hair as the warm ocean breeze blows across her shoulders. Her hair is all over her face, some of it sticking to her full lips as they shine with my favorite cherry gloss that I’m positive she’s wearing just for me. Damn, I know better than this, but I struggle saying no to her.
Her cutoff denim shorts are just shy of indecent. What it doesn’t leave to the imagination, her tank finishes. Her nipples are erect and pointing at their prey. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a victim, but I sure as hell am a survivor.
Ava Cook is sex on legs. With me in her sights, I have no doubt
I’m about to get lucky. Or is it, I’m about to become the unluckiest man ever? Who the hell knows? Who the hell cares? After one too many beers, I’ll be damned if I’m not in the bed of my truck under the stars with this girl.
The light of day brings an entirely different issue. Saying goodbye, again. Why the fuck do I allow the wrong head to make my decisions? I’m more intelligent than this, and she’s better than this. She might not know it yet, but one day she’ll realize it.
Ava is wrapped around me like I’m the prize and she’s the winner. I’ve got to get moving before my mom sends out the FBI. She’s gonna chew my ass good. But first, I have to get Ava moving so that I can. I nudge her slightly. She doesn’t move. I may have drunk too much last night but I do remember, she didn’t.
“Ava, I gotta go. Let’s get moving before my mom hunts me down.” Shaking her a little more now, Ava curls into my side as if she has no clue what’s going on. Suddenly, I’m saved by the bell. Well, buzz. My cell is going off. Picking it up, I don’t even look at the screen, I just answer knowing for certain who’s on the other end. “Hey, Mom. Sorry. I’ll be home in less than an hour.”
“You better be. And Brannon, if you’ve been drinking, you need to hydrate. It may be morning, but you may very well still be drunk. I’m waiting. I love you.” Yeah, she’s pissed. And right.
“I’ll walk over to the gas station and grab a Gatorade. I love you.” She hangs up without another word. My mom rarely gets angry. I’m sure it’s because of my present company. I don’t want to argue with my mom before I leave, I’d feel like shit all the way up there. Fuck.
“Ava. Now. I gotta go.” I push her off my chest. She rolls onto her back, laying there silently. I don’t have time for her shit. So much drama, so little time. I knew better, can’t even blame the alcohol.
“So, that’s it? Fuck me and leave me.” Bile rises in my stomach. Oh, shit. Not this, not today, I just can’t deal with this now. The perfect example of why I knew I should’ve stuck to my guns and not been with her last night. I know, hell’s comin’ and I’m gonna burn.
“Ava, don’t even start this shit. You knew. I knew. Let’s leave this where we should have six months ago.” I drag my jeans up my thighs and hop to my feet. Grabbing my shirt, I slide my shoes on and jog over to the convenience store for a drink and a bag of chips.
Ava sits on my tailgate as I approach her. Her eyes watch the ocean as it roars to the shore. A storm is coming; I hope I can clear it before it hits. By the look on Ava’s face, I don’t have a snowballs chance of getting outta this shit storm, though.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so cold.” Taking my place beside her, she scoots closer. I’m instantly uncomfortable. Ava and I broke up for good reason, but telling her now what a mistake this was will be my last choice.
“It’s okay. Spread your wild oats, I’ll be here,” she says, laying her head on my shoulder.
Before I can stop it, my body goes ridged. “Ava, we’ve gotta talk.” Sitting up straight, she turns her body to face me. I turn into her, taking her by the hand. “You know I love you, right?”
“I love you, too.” Her face lifts as her eyes light up, a small smile playing on her lips. This conversation isn’t going where she wants it to. I’m not sure I’ll ever get her to understand.
“But I’m not in love with you, Ava. Do you understand?” I see the moment realization hits as her face falls.
She becomes defiant, refusing to look at me. She knows what we’ve done, this wasn’t supposed to happen. “You always say it, but then we get back together.”
“I say it because I mean it. I’m not in love with you. We’ve talked about this numerous times, just because we sleep together doesn’t mean we’re back together. Sex does not make a relationship.” Her face freezes, she sits like a stone now, moving her hand away from mine.
Her eyes scan the beach as she lets what I’ve said sink in. She pushes her full bottom lip out, pouting like a child. “I know, I know. I can’t help the way I feel about you, Brannon. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”
“I know, the first time I pulled your hair on the playground, I believe. We’ve been friends since we were five-years-old, I think I loved you then. But this,” motioning between us, “isn’t working. It’s like we’re together because we’re afraid not to be. What if, what if there’s a great love out there for each of us?”
Finally looking at me, frowning, she folds her arms across her chest in defiance. She rolls her eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“The love of our life. Ava, I love you, but I know you’re not the love of my life. And I’m not yours. I don’t want us waking up in twenty years, married and miserable. You deserve more than a mediocre love. I deserve more.” Her tears begin to fall faster; I feel like shit. “When we’re together, we’re both unhappy. You broke up with me the first time, remember? Why are you acting surprised?”
She yells as she stands with her fist on her side. “Because I’m scared. Without you, I’m nothing. I have nothing, and I’ll never be anything. Why can’t you understand? I have no family, you’re all I’ve ever known.”
“I get it, I do. But, Ava, have you ever thought it’s because we’ve never tried loving anyone else?” Folding my hands together, I plead with her to understand.
Raking her fingers through her hair in desperation, she looks utterly broken. “I’ve dated. I don’t feel the same way about the others as I do you. Honestly, Brannon, I know my own heart.”
“If you think any of this is easy for me, you’re wrong. I love you, Ava, but this has been toxic for a long time. We feed off each other and when we don’t, we just have sex because we can. I mean, goddamn, we were young and stupid the first time we fucked. Both of us making grown ass decisions because of hormones.
“Slowly, we both started to resent one another, like an old married couple at sixteen. Neither of us wants to be in this relationship, but everyone expects us to be together, even us. Like we share a fairy tale relationship. Now, we hook up once a month, and we both know that shit doesn’t make a relationship.”
We stand there, face to face, letting it all sink in. I know she’s scared. Alone. But I’ve spent my entire life watching over someone else, now is my time. One of us must recognize what this is and put an end to it. Now. Before I can say another word, Ava speaks.
“I know.” Her only words.
Shaking my head, I wrap her in my arms. For her and me. “Ava, I’ve watched over you for thirteen years, I’ll never stop. When your parents’ died and you went to live with your grandmother, I made sure you stayed with us every weekend, did I not?” She nods slowly as she wipes her falling tears. “So, why do you think I’ll forget about you now?” Reaching over, I place my finger under her chin to lift her bowing head.
“What if I never find a great love? Maybe you’re my great love?” Still, she’s so afraid of being alone. I want to protect her, be here for her forever. But I have to take this opportunity.
“Well, I guess this time apart will tell the tale. I’m not moving to another country. I’ll be home often, and you still have my number, Ava. I’m not going to leave and never come back. I’ll never forget about you.” I playfully nudge her shoulder with my hand.
“If you ever try to, I’ll remind you. You understand?” She narrows her eyes at me.
“Friends forever. I love you, I promise to always love you.” I squeeze her tightly before letting her go.
She looks up at me beneath her lashes still wet. “Well, can you give a friend a ride home?” asking as she smiles sweetly.
“No doubt.” Throwing my arm around her shoulder, I guide her to the passenger side of the truck, helping her in.
I drop Ava off at her granny’s, then move at lightning speed to get home. Momma’s gonna have my ass. I brace for the chewing I know I deserve. Staying out all night isn’t something I do, and drinking is something I don’t do often. Ava, however, is a totally different story.
&nbs
p; Pulling into the long dirt road to my family farm sends a pang to the pit of my stomach. Wow, I’m surprised it’s already hit me. My last drive home for a while. I know we’ve made every preparation for this moment, but it’s still surreal.
Going to college has always been my dream. I busted my ass to get the opportunity, but now that’s it here, I’m having doubts. Will the farm survive without me? Have I thought out every scenario? Am I leaving at the wrong time? Damn, this is harder than I thought it was gonna be.
Pulling up to the front door, I switch the ignition off to my 1970 C-10 Chevy. She’s a beauty, even with her age spots. Baby blue and white paneled with chrome accents and big mud tires. Country boys ride in style, that’s why trucks like mine are turning up in movies these days.
Mom is leaning against the screen door with her arms crossed over her chest as I take the last step onto our front porch. Her knowing look tells me I’m about to get an earful and rightfully so I suppose. Mom loves Ava as much as I do, but we both know Ava’s beating a dead horse.
“Please tell me you had enough sense not to sleep with Ava last night,” she says without hesitation. Damn, is it written on my forehead?
“Mom, there are certain things I refuse to discuss with you. Although Ava isn’t one of them, sex is.” Kissing her on the cheek, I brush past her through the door.
Fisting her hands at her side, she demands, “Why now? Who the hell bought your first box of condoms?” She’s right, she’s always been on top of my shit. Her words stop me cold, and I turn to face her.
“You. Thank you.” Looking at her, I think I see her for the first time. She’s always been strong as hell, but in this moment, even at five-feet-six, she looks fragile.
Her chestnut hair with light strands of gray is piled high on her head in a loose bun. What few wrinkles she has play around her eyes and mouth. Her green eyes have lost their sparkle; it’s been gone for years. The years she lost with my dad has changed her, made her a different person. I understand that better than most.
“You’re welcome. This is all we’ve ever had, Brannon. Me and you. So, I worry. I want your future to be as bright as we both know it should be. I love Ava, too, but you’ve got to do this for you.” Her features soften as she watches recognition of what lies ahead hit me.