by Leaona Luxx
“What?” My phone rings again. We look at it and then each other.
“You gonna get that?” He nods to the phone. Shit.
“Umm, no. Not yet. It’s nothing.” I cock my brow as if asking him if it’s nothing. He’s not buying it.
“Well, I think I need to go.” He zips his jeans and drags his shirt over his head. “You know, Torrie. All this time, you’ve been giving me shit over Ava, but you obviously have something you need to work out.” He’s agitated, and I can’t blame him.
“It’s my parents,’ Bran. Fuck.” That brings him up short. His face distorts, twisting in confusion.
“You’re embarrassed by me?” He glares at me as if I’m an alien. He has no clue.
“No. Of course not. You just have to understand my father. He’ll be livid if he finds out about us. About me and anyone. He’s an asshole.” Tears begin to well in my eyes, but not for the reason you think. My father will ruin anything good I have if he doesn’t approve.
“Okay, fine. I need to get going. Call me.” Jerking the door open before I can say another word, he slams it just as fast.
As if on cue, my phone rings. Ahhhhhhh. I stomp over, yanking my phone from the couch cushion. Poking the buttons until it lights up and comes on. It’s my parents’. Joy.
“Hey, what’s up?” I ask flippantly.
“Excuse me, young lady? We’ve been trying to reach you. Where have you been?” Disgruntled, I huff as I lean in for him to see my face. “You look terrible. Have you been out all night?”
“Yes, at the library. I forgot my phone was on silent and when I got home, I didn’t turn it back on. I apologize.” Please, let this end.
“Well, you need to remember, you represent this family every minute. There’s no time for slacking.” My father is stern. And as usual, he’s suspicious.
“I apologize, Father. I’ll do better. I need to run. The library gives me more material at my fingertips. Bye.” I shut him down before he can continue.
Walking back to my dorm room, all I can think about is calling my mom. Sometimes, you need advice that comes straight at you. Honest and trustworthy. If there’s one thing I know, you can’t trust everyone with your happiness. Your mom wants you healthy and happy. It’s that simple. Taking my phone out, I hit her number and she answers on the second ring.
“Hey, handsome.” Mom’s sweet voice makes me smile instantly. She has so much going on with me not being home now, still, she finds time to check on me.
“Hey, Mom. How’s it goin’?” I try to sound upbeat, knowing she’ll suspect anyway.
“You know it’s all good. Now, spill.” Moms. Pretty sure they know everything as it happens.
“I met someone.” The tone of voice reveals my heavy heart, I’m sure.
“A boy? A girl?” Games. She’s got games.
“A girl. A woman.” Correcting myself but wanting her to also understand Torrie’s different.
“Okay. So, what’s the problem?” She’s such a straight shooter.
“I don’t know. Me. Her. Nothing.” Walking over to a bench, I sit under a tree, looking out over campus. “She’s amazing, but I know she doesn’t believe it.” I wait to hear her wisdom, knowing I’ll hear a mouthful over Ava.
“And that’s it?” Her tone is stern, as it always is when she knows there’s more to the story.
“No.”
“So, what?” She waits for me to find my words.
“She’s from New York. She’s wealthy, well her parents’ are, therefore, she is. She likes me, but it feels like she’s embarrassed by me.” Simple. So why is it so complicated?
“You do realize there may be a perfectly logical explanation? You also know this could be your worry and not hers? It’s as if you always find a reason to doubt all the good things. You deserve to be happy, so be happy. Do you love her?” How can mothers put life into perspective in a few sentences?
“Possibly. No, I’m not in love, but I sure as hell could be, Mom. Torrie is amazing. Smart. Beautiful. She calls me, ‘country boy’. I’m not sure where it’s going, but I sure do want to enjoy the ride.” About the time I say the words, I look up and see Torrie walking across campus. Breathtaking.
“Well then, buy the ticket. Life has a way of working out, one way or another.” She’s right, as always.
“She’s walking toward me, right now. She’s utterly perfect.” I straighten in my seat as she gets closer, praying she’s looking for me.
“Is she now? Do you have a picture?” Rolling my eyes, I smile wickedly as Torrie stands in front of me.
“I’ll get you one, okay?” Torrie whips her head around, turning from side to side. She’s uncomfortable. I think I know why. “Would you like to speak to her?” Torrie’s face goes red, then pale. She shakes her head like a mad woman, waving her hands in front of her. “You would? Alright, hang on a sec, Mom.”
Handing Torrie the phone, her face moves from caustic to pleasant as she realizes who I’m talking to. She really thought I was handing her over to Ava. Torrie is jealous as hell; I must admit, I like it. I’m not sure I’ve ever had someone be jealous.
“Mrs. O’Hurley, it’s so good to speak with you. How are you? Wonderful.” Her eyes light up as she gazes down at me.” He is. He’s a very good man. Very good.” She runs her eyes down my body and back up. “Really? Good to know. I will, thank you. It was a pleasure speaking to you. Hope to meet you soon.” She hands the phone back with a smile.
Never allowing my gaze to leave Torrie’s, I finish the call with my mom. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll call you back a little later.”
“She sounds great. Now, stop thinking. I love you.” My mom is the best damn woman I’ve ever known. I couldn’t love her more.
“Love you.” I don’t even know if I hang the phone up, all I need to know is here. “What’s going on?”
“I had to find you. Come back with me, please?” As much as I want to, we need to clear the air on equal ground.
“No, not yet. Let’s talk.” I offer her a place to sit, which she accepts. After a few minutes of silence, she breaks.
“Brannon, my father is an arrogant asshole. He doesn’t respect me; therefore, he will not respect you. I’m not ashamed of you, I’m ashamed of him. I can’t stand the thought of him hurting you in any way.” Her head down, she trembles with her words.
“Torrie, I’m not your normal eighteen-year-old boy. When my dad passed, I had to grow up fast. Sometimes, I think my mom regrets depending on me so much, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing. My dad would have expected it. I pride myself in who I am,” I explain, hoping she understands.
“I never meant for you to think I was embarrassed by you. I’m not, I’m proud to have you by my side.” She glances over at me, smiling shyly.
“I’ve never met anyone like you, Torrie. I know I’m not who some think you deserve. I’m not rich, I don’t always speak properly, but I’m a hard worker. If I can’t offer you a thing more than what you already have, know you’ll always have my heart.” Tilting my head, I look at her until she returns my gaze.
“I can’t promise he’ll be good to you.” She kicks the rocks beneath the bench with her toes as she swings her feet.
“Well, I don’t want to date your father. So, if you’ll have me, we’ll face the rest as it comes.” Leaning in, I pause just before I kiss her.
“You make me happy.” Torrie tangles her fingers in my hair, pulling my lips to hers.
The weeks before mid-terms are some of the best of my life. Torrie is simply amazing, and the sex is mind-blowing.
Torrie’s father is becoming suspicious. We discussed me going home with her for Thanksgiving, but we still need to work out the logistics.
“Hey, have you made any decision on Thanksgiving?” Torrie asks. She’s laying with her head on my chest, running her fingers across the grooves and planes of my muscles.
“As long as we can work out spending a few days with Mom, I’m down. I told you, I’m with you.” I’ve
never been away on a holiday, so going home must happen. Mom would never tell me to not go with Torrie, but I also know she wouldn’t tell me to not come home.
“I’ll let my mother know. We also need to get plane tickets, although my parents’ may make the jet available,” she says offhandedly.
“Your parents’ have a jet?” I know my eyes are bugging outta my head because when she looks up at me, she starts laughing.
“Yes, but with my father, who knows what will happen.” She shrugs.
“Let’s get tickets from New York to Myrtle Beach, that way we can leave when we need to,” I suggest as I grab the laptop from the nightstand. She pops up and sits on her knees, watching as I search online for ticket pricing.
“Sounds good,” she agrees. A few clicks later and Thanksgiving is set. Now, she needs to tell her father.
Halloween costumes have been our biggest trial to date. Why must it be so difficult to pick out? It needs to be epic, this much I know. We have scoured the internet, looking at every plausible couple we could come up with. After days of deliberation, we finally settled on something I think we both like.
“Do I have to wear the wig?” I glare at her as she giggles.
“Yes. It makes the entire costume.” She nudges me, and I roll my eyes, tugging the stupid blond wig on.
“Seriously? You fucking owe me.” I shake my head.
We dressed for the party at her place because there is no way in hell I’m gonna walk the campus wearing this stupid wig. It’s bad enough I’m wearing a polyester pantsuit with a scarf. I look fuckin’ ridiculous. Torrie, on the other hand, is adorable in her seventies swing dress and red wig with matching headband. Torrie drives to her friend’s apartment, as we step from the elevator I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Things have been going so well for us, I’m not sure if this is nerves or an actual premonition of something to come. Taking my hand, Torrie gets my attention. “Brannon, it’s just a Halloween party! It’s all in good fun,” she assures me. One look into her eyes and all fearful thoughts are gone.
As we walk the room, she introduces me to the rest of her friends and acquaintances. “Hi, Torrie.” A small brunette waves from the corner of the room.
“Hello, Robyn. How are you?” Torrie asks as the brunette stands in front of us. “This is my boyfriend, Brannon O’Hurley.”
“I’m good. Hi, Brannon. It’s so nice to meet you,” Robyn says as she takes my waiting hand.
“You too.” I smile as a taller, bald man walks up behind her. She looks over her shoulder and then makes her own introduction.
“Brannon, this is David. David this is Torrie’s Brannon.” He holds his hand out for me.
“Hey, good to meet you,” David offers.
“You, too. Torrie has told me so much about you both.” I smile with my lie.
“We need to do dinner, Torrie’s been hiding you away,” Robyn says.
“We will, text me next week,” Torrie says as Christine enters the room. “Christine.” She walks over, hugging Torrie hello.
“Hey, handsome,” Christine says to me with a wink.
“Hey, good to see you.” I smile at her, and she winks again. She’s been Torrie’s friend since they met on campus and has been her lab partner for two years. I like her.
“How about you two catch up, I’ll get us some drinks,” I suggest. Torrie grins as I walk over to the bar. Over by the window, a man and woman watch my every move. He’s small with beady eyes and blond hair. She’s also a blonde, petite.
The couple slowly works their way around the room. Stopping to press flesh with only a few party-goers. As I watch their approach, I can’t help but feel as if I’m the prey. They stalk me with cunning precision, waiting for the kill.
I’m waiting on our drinks when I’m approached by the small, blond man, the woman clinging to his side. I know he’s friends with Torrie, I saw them talking one day on campus as she waited for me, but I’ve never spoken to him.
“Well, if it isn’t Farmer Ted. Where’s your paycheck?” He swirls his drink in his hand, my gut was right. This isn’t going to end well.
“Excuse me?” Squaring my shoulders, not to show my size, I’m bigger than he is sitting down, just letting him know I don’t back down.
“Oh, look. Farmer Ted is also deaf. Are all farmers deaf and dumb or just you?” He sips his brown liquor as if it’s too much for him to handle. And if he thinks the ‘Farmer Ted’ reference is lost on me, he doesn’t realize the eighties will always be known for iconic movies.
“It’s country boy, but you will call me Brannon. Torrie’s talking to Robyn.” Jerking my head in her direction only gets her attention, though, my present company remains.
“Did she not tell us he’s a farmer? Pig? No, cow.” The snotty blonde wrinkles her nose at me.
Looking at my costume and bad wig, they ask about it. “That’s right, cow farmer. So, who are you supposed to be?”
“Her brother.” I point at his girl, glaring in his direction as Torrie joins us.
“Seth. Haylee. Let me formerly introduce you to Brannon. Well, Fred for today. I’m Daphne, of course,” Torrie explains as she takes my hand. Her eyes dart to mine when she realizes I’m ridged. “Scooby Doo is the man.”
“Farmer Ted and I were just discussing the benefits of cows,” the talking asshole across from me grunts.
“Seth, I’ve asked you once not to call him that.” Torrie’s words eat away at my ear like a worm. I drop her hand from mine, and she cuts her eyes at me from the loss.
“Seth, is it? No. Not all farmers are deaf and dumb. Even if they are, they’re still not dicks. So, what’s your excuse for being one? Oh, that’s right, you don’t have an excuse, you’re a natural.” Nodding at the ladies, I make no apologies for my exit.
The fucking elevator takes its time to depart and just before it lowers, I see Torrie standing in the hall. The look of disappointment marring her beautiful features. What the hell am I thinking? I’m not even in her league. I’m pissed the fuck off at a man who spoke nothing but the truth.
I take the long way back to my dorm. About half way there, I remember the damn wig. It and the scarf end up in the trash, along with my dignity. The trouble is, I’m angrier with myself than with that shithead. Why I let him get to me, I have no clue.
The distinguishable difference between us is and always will be, money. I’ve never had it, and she’s never been without it. The look on her face as I left spoke volumes. Torrie knows we can never go beyond this, I’ll never be what she needs.
Her father will never approve of me, I can tell by the things she says about him. I’m not sure he approves of his own daughter. Damn sure my dad would have never treated me like that. He was proud of me no matter what I did or who I turned out to be.
As I get closer to my building, I see her standing there. Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t even considered Torrie coming to find me. I definitely didn’t think about her driving home. I have no idea why she would want to even speak to me, after my dick move of walking out on her.
“Hey there, country boy. Gotta minute?” Stepping forward to meet me, she grimaces.
“Yeah, I think we need to talk. Sorry about bailing on you back there, such a shithead move.” Kicking at an imaginary rock, I feel like a petulant child.
She folds her arms across her chest. “Why did you leave?”
“I would think it was obvious.” I shove my hands in my pockets.
“Not to me. So, please, explain why you left me. Not why you left because of something someone else said or did.” She’s angry, I get it, but I don’t plan on staying around while someone insults me.
“Don’t you dare act as if you see me any differently than your asshole friend.” I throw my hands in the air to emphasize my point.
“I do not see you that way,” she scoffs. “Furthermore, if that’s what you think of me, maybe we are wrong for each other.” She touches her cheek with the back of her hand. It may be dark out here, but I k
now she’s crying.
“Tell me, Torrie. If you see me differently, why haven’t I been introduced to your parents’? You’re perfectly fine with surprising them at Thanksgiving. Why not now? We could meet for dinner or FaceTime them. Or even over the phone, but you’ve offered nothing.” My question is barely a whisper as I try to hide my hurt.
“What? You know why, my father. I can’t explain it, it’s senseless to try,” she says as she wraps herself in her arms. “He’s ridiculous, and I really hate the fact you have to meet him, period. And that, Brannon, has nothing to do with you.”
I do understand. I also understand if she doesn’t make a stand now, proving she’s capable of making her own decisions regardless of his opinion, she never will. I don’t want to hide who we are from anyone. In the last few weeks, Torrie has become important to me. I’m afraid the longer we wait, the more hurt is going to come from this.
“There’s gonna come a time when you’ll have to decide between the love you have and the love you want. I just hope I’m there in the end.” Sighing, I drop my hands in defeat.
Standing mere inches from one another, we search in the dark of night for understanding. When our eyes lock, we search them for hope, love. She dries her face again, and I cave, tugging her into my arms. I hold her close as her tears fall in earnest.
Holding her as she cries, I feel as though there is so much more to learn about the dynamics with her father. She trembles in my arms, not from cold but from fear. I hate it, it makes me think this is hopeless. When her tears cease, I take her with me to grab some things from my dorm.
I hurry upstairs to my dorm room to grab a bag of clothes and my backpack. It’s Friday night, and we’ll be spending the weekend in after this. I drive us back to her place. She sits as close to me as possible, resting her head on my shoulder; a calm silence clinging to the air between us. Parking the truck, I climb out and pull her along behind me, her fingers laced in mine. I grab my bags in one hand, and we make our way toward her loft.