by Leaona Luxx
“You know damn well, young lady. Are you testing me? Are you using him to get to me? Or maybe, you’re just as ignorant as your farm boy is? Do you even know him? Know anything about him?” Spewing at me relentlessly, I know he has a drum to beat. I can’t seem to shake the feeling, this will be my biggest regret.
“We’re just getting to know each other. I’m sure your spies can verify that. But let me say this, he has shown me more respect and appreciation than you ever have.” Red in the face, I square myself on him.
“Really? Has he included any truth in what he has told you?” he asks as he gathers papers lying in front of him.
“He has been nothing but honest and forthright. Are there things I don’t know yet, probably. But I’m sure you’re about to tell me, so go on.” Waving my arms in front of me, confident in mine and Brannon’s relationship.
“His farm is close to defaulting on another loan. A farm he inherited when he killed his father at the age of fourteen.” He displays the papers in front of me.
Picking up the papers, I read over them quickly. Why in the hell would he not tell me this? I’m fucking peeved with him right now. I told him how my father is, what he’s capable of. I’ve already told my father all he wants to know by not responding. Nevertheless, I stand by Brannon. There’s a reason he hasn’t shared it with me.
“It’s his story to tell. How dare you do this to him,” I’m seething as I toss the papers on his desk.
“What is wrong with me checking him out. He killed his father and now, I fear for you. He needs money. It’s obvious he knows you have it. Do you really think he loves you? You have been nothing more than a fuck that he’s hoping to make a buck from. I guarantee if I were to offer him some money, he’d be gone by morning,” he declares. I can’t seem to stop shaking, I feel sick.
“You’re wrong. Brannon is the best person I have ever met. He has never asked me for anything but simple respect. He gives me more than you ever have. If I only have him and a rundown farm, I’d be honored to be by his side.” Spinning on my heels, I try not to run from the room.
“Torrence! You better be damn sure about your choice. This is about more than college or a credit card. I will buy that damn farm and sell it off in pieces before I let you do this. I will destroy him. And I’ll take you down with him.” Wheeling around, I turn on my father like never before.
“Go ahead. You know, Father. I was once told there would be a time when I would have to decide between the love I have and the love I want. I thought it meant to choose between your love and his love. In this moment, I understand. I have his love, it’s always been yours I wanted. I will choose him.” Jerking the door open, it slams against the wall as I exit his office.
I can’t even stand being under the same roof with him right now. Grabbing my coat, I sprint for the door. Running as fast as I can in my heels across the lawn, I try the door to the pool house. Luckily, it’s open. I don’t bother with a light, I prefer to be alone for a while. I curl up in the side chair and unleash my tears. I’ve played by his rules my entire life. Never wanting more than his love.
Piece by piece, he has destroyed the woman I should have been. Fierce. Confident. Loving and more than capable to be loved. No one has ever made me feel like I’m less of a person than my father. But most all, I’ve had to live knowing I’ll never be enough for him. No matter what I do, I will never be the son he wanted. I will always be his biggest disappointment. My father has never looked me in the eyes. He has never said that he’s proud of me or even hugged me.
I know I sound like a spoiled child. My father has never raised his hand to me. I have never been without shelter or food. I’ve always gotten everything I ever wanted, everything but his love. I know how lucky I am to have all that, I do, but I would give it all away to hear him say, ‘I love you, Torrie’.
I need to find Brannon and tell him everything, that my father wants to destroy him because of me. He’s stood by me, waiting for me to take a stand. He knows this is something I have to do. Brannon has shown me more love and acceptance than my father ever has.
I didn’t take the time to read the papers through, I want him to be the one to explain what happened with his father.
I slip into my shoes as fast as I can, knowing I need to get to Brannon before my father does. I reach into the coat pocket for my phone, wanting to text Brannon. It’s not there, damn it. I left it on my nightstand. Running across the courtyard, I trip and fall to the ground. My hands and knees are bloody, it’s nothing compared to what my heart may feel like if I don’t get to Brannon. I wipe the blood off and start for the house again.
Swinging the front door wide, I see my mother standing in my father’s office. She turns to look at me, and the grave expression on her face tells me it’s happened. I run full stride to his room, praying he’s there. I take the stairs two at a time, like that will get me to him faster.
Opening his door, I scan the room for him but he’s not here. As I turn to leave, I see the closet is ajar. Walking over, I pull it open. Nothing. I turn to the dresser and find it’s empty. Brannon’s gone. Running to my room, I waste no time. I start throwing my things in my bag, grabbing what I can and leaving the rest behind. I see my phone on the nightstand and send Brannon a quick text, telling him I’ll meet him at the airport.
Jerking my bags up, I hurry down the stairs, coming face to face with my father. I step to the side, but he blocks my way. I take a step back, glaring at him. Again, I’m looking at him, but he refuses to even look me in the eyes.
“Move,” I demand as I shake with anger.
He crosses his arms over his chest. “No. He’s gone.”
“What did you say? Damn you, what have you done?” Pushing past him, I run toward my mother when she steps out from his office.
She throws her arms around me. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”
“What did he do?” I swallow hard as tears threaten, pleading with her to tell me.
My father walks past us. “I’ll do better than that, I’ll show you.”
“Show me what? If you hurt him or his mom in any way, I’ll never speak to you again!” I scream as my tears fall.
He turns the security monitor around. “Watch. I just showed it to your mother.”
My father turns our security camera to me, clicking play on the video footage. Brannon walks out the front door and toward a cab with his bag in hand. He opens the door, throwing his bag in before turning to the house. He looks up at it, drops his head, shaking it. He then raises his hand, looking at a piece of paper clutched in his grasp. Balling his fist around the paper, he falls into the backseat. The cab leaves with Brannon in it.
“What did you do?” I yell again before turning to my mother. “Did he tell you he threatened him, his home? He threatened me. He told me he would destroy me for being with him. Are you just going to stand there? Will you not even stand up for me?” I look from my mother to my father, seething at them.
“Before you’re too hard on us, you should read this.” He now spins a book around, pushing it toward me.
“What? What is it?” My fist at my side, blind rage fills me.
“Just fucking be an adult and read the goddamn thing.” He shoves the book toward at me.
Taking the book in my hands, I look from the book to my parents’ and back again. My mother’s eyes fill with tears as my father walks to the window, his back to me. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, trying to clear my vision. I begin to read the black and white paper.
I drop into the chair directly behind me as realization hits; the paper Brannon had in his hand was a check. My father paid him off. Brannon accepted it? There’s no way he took it without good reason. But I saw it with my own eyes, he left with it. He isn’t who I think he is. What’s worse, I know he’s just like my father. Money over love. He never loved me, he was here for the money.
Bile rises in my throat, I begin to get sick at my stomach. My heart races with anger, broken in pain. My palms begin to
sweat as I tremble from the loss and rage from the betrayal. I’ve been a damn fool. My father is right. No one can be trusted. Money will win over love every time. I’ll be damned if I ever allow someone to hurt me again. I don’t give a fuck about being loved, I’ll buy it.
Rising to my feet, I lay his checkbook on his desk. I straighten my dress and wipe my face, no one will ever see me cry again. Ever. Trust will never be given, and love will never be found. I’m done. My face flames as I dry it with the back of my hands. Defiant, I turn on my waiting parents’, telling them who I am now.
“I’ve waited for twenty years to have you tell me you love me. Not you’re proud of me or you wanted a fucking son. I want love. Love, goddamn it. I’m not entirely sure what’s happened here, except that I got fucked. You’ve taken the only love I’ve ever known from me with the help of the one person I gave my heart to.
“Now, I’ll be who you want me to be, but by God, I’ll do it my fucking way. Do you both understand? Yeah, smirk now as if you’ve won but by God, know this, you’ll not have a son in law to take over your company. I’ll do it, goddamn it. There will never be another love in my life, so suck it the fuck up, buttercup, you’re stuck with me.
“And know this, you’ve lost me. I will no longer be subject to your disdain. Your contempt for me will end today. The constant derision ends now. If you damn well want a Harrington to take over your fortune and run it with the deplorable ethics everyone has come to know, you will leave me to the task at hand. I am only your daughter in name. Don’t call me. Don’t come to find me.”
Shoving past them, my mother reaches for me, but I jerk away. Picking up my bags by the stairs, I hear her sobs. I don’t care, I’m dead inside. My father spent years making sure I understood I wasn’t what he wanted. Now, I’ve never felt more like him.
I climb into the waiting car, refusing to look back. My resolve breaks when Brannon flashes before me. Fuming, I’m repulsed by his cowardice. How could he take the money? Never did he say they needed it. He always told me he fixed things. Somehow, I always knew I wasn’t worthy of love. My tears fall unrestrained.
The flight back to Virginia passes quickly as my mind never ceases to settle, a swirl of questions that may never be answered. Was our entire time together a setup? Did he seek me out to get money from my family? I can’t believe he would do this. The things we shared had to have meant something to him.
Walking into my apartment, I don’t make it to the couch. I fall to my knees, screaming as the night’s events play before me again. I feel as though my heart is crawling out of me, my pulse races as I gasp for air around my wailing. How could he do this to us?
Grabbing my chest, I struggle for air, trying to calm myself. Nothing’s helping as the tears fall of their own accord. Under my palm, I feel something. The sea turtle. I rip it from my neck, throwing it across the room. I’ll never forgive him.
The passing days bring more tears, more hate, more anger. Even when I would find a calm moment, the realization he hasn’t called reminds me it’s all too real. If I ever doubted it to be true, him not calling or texting confirms it.
I fight with myself to call him, to send a text. My heart needs definite proof, he’s not coming back. It needs to know this isn’t just a nightmare, it’s my reality. Late into the night, I break. With tears in my eyes, I text him. I wait, watching my phone for any sign of him.
The hours pass along with every shred of self-preservation I have left. After six hours of waiting on a reply, I call his number. It rings, finally going to voicemail, and I hang up.
I sit there, crying. The disdain he supposedly harbored for my father is nothing compared to his dismantling of my heart. The destruction in the wake of his betrayal will change me, but right now, I can’t tell that to my heart. I still love him.
I fall into a black hole, crying from the minute I wake until I pass out. By the following Monday, I’ve pulled myself together. I’ve made some crucial decisions about my life and begin my bid to take over my future company, Harrington Holdings. Tuesday starts with an email to Mr. Harrington.
Mr. Harrington,
I will be hiring a personal assistant as I begin fast-tracking my graduation. I met with my counselor yesterday and arranged the class schedule. I will receive my degree in a year and a half. Please be advised, I’ll be asking her to paid from my account herewith.
T.H
Wednesday my stomach turns flips at the thought of seeing Brannon in class, we have several classes together this semester. I scan the room at the top of the stairs, but I don’t see him anywhere. My so-called friends wave from across the room, I turn my head, pretending I don’t see them as I take a seat next to the door for a fast exit.
Brannon is a no show. Again, on Friday he hasn’t been seen. I text my mother, asking her to use my father’s resources to check on Brannon. Not that I care, I just need to know. Later in the afternoon, I receive a text from my mother. “Torrie, can you call me please?” I dial her immediately.
“Torrie?” Who the hell does she think it is?
“Yes. What?” Agitated I have to speak to her this soon.
“Brannon’s left Virginia.” Her voice cracks on his name followed by a sniffle. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“It’s fine. I just didn’t want to run into him.” My lips tremble as I speak. “Umm, don’t tell him. He’s done enough, he doesn’t get to gloat also.”
“I won’t.” Her breathing is fast, she’s nervous. “And, Torrie… I’m sorry I didn’t stop him.”
“He’s had all the time in the world to make it right, he’s gone now,” I answer as I hang my head in defeat.
“I meant your father.” Her words waver, she sounds as hopeless as I am.
That’s it, he’s gone. I can’t seem to reason with my heart, it refuses to listen.
Some would say, I was strong in this moment. It’s simply not true. I’m beyond repair. My heart will never be the same. As I was getting my shit together, I noticed I had missed my Depo shot, again, another mistake. Above all, the last thing I want to do is to pick up a pregnancy test. Brannon will always own a piece of me. What’s left are the things he and my father broke. My trust. My morals. My belief everyone deserves love. A love which will withstand every storm, lasting a lifetime.
~Ten years later~
My cell phone vibrates as I finish the last email. Looking to see what it’s about, I see my father’s name. What in the hell does he want? I’m sure it’s to go over plans we’ve been over a hundred times. A few more months and he’ll be gone, and I can damn well run things the way I want. Pushing a few buttons, I hit speaker on my desk phone and it begins to ring.
“Torrence, I didn’t realize you would still be at work. Is there anything wrong?” Rolling my eyes, I gag a little before answering.
“No, nothing’s wrong. I just work my ass off for this company. How can I help you?” I’m tired and my morning starts at five, so I’m ready to go home.
“I know you do, that’s why I need to ask you to handle an issue.” Someone starts the fire, I put it out. I’m beginning to think I should’ve been a fireman.
“I’m taking notes.” His signal to fill me in.
“The Cherry Grove project may be done for. We need someone on the ground in the next twenty-four.” He tells it like it is. What in the hell?
“Did Davidson not finalize?” Heads are going to fucking roll.
“It fell through. I do not trust him now or his gut instinct. I need you there. We have to finalize and start in one week,” he explains. Damn it.
Disbelief washes over me. “One week? You’re joking me? You want me to find an engineer, crew, and submit plans in one week?”
“Yes. I need it done. When something needs to be done and done right, we send the best. I’ll have Tina make the arrangements. Be ready to fly out by six in the morning.” He ends the call.
Counting to ten before I pick up my cell, I send a text to Tina with a few instructions of my own. An hour later,
I tie up loose ends here at the office. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone, so I plan to pack for a week knowing I can go purchase the rest as needed.
I’ve spent the last ten years working my way up the corporate ladder, my decision. No way would my father have the right to say he gave it to me. I worked from the ground up, learning every corner of the business and getting my ass kicked until I learned how to kick ass. I focus solely on my job, I have nothing else. I lost it years ago, and I have no plans of going back to who I was.
I’m one of the most respected COO’s in New York. My apartment is worth a million five, and I earned every penny to pay for it. It sits in the wealthiest community in the city, with views of the park. I have a doorman and a driver.
I’m home by eleven. I grab a bottle of wine and a glass on my way through to pack. Tina sent the email I need for this project. My first line of business is to find a company that can handle this build. Hopefully, they can recommend an engineer and we can get the ball rolling.
Getting the right construction company will allow us certain pull with the permits. So, I’ve asked for the most sought after and influential company. It will cost but we’re already in the hole. I’ll cut cost somewhere else. By one in the morning, I crawl into bed.
I hate early morning flights. I opt for traveling clothes, my father would die if he seen me dressed unprofessionally. Good thing, he isn’t seeing me off. Jeans and a baseball tee with a ball cap pulled down low is my choice today.
My rental car is ready when I get off the company plane. Not my first choice but I’ll be near the beach on a work site, so an SUV will work. Setting my GPS, I drive to town. I need a rental and prefer a house on the beach. It’s cost effective since I don’t know how long I’ll be here. Hotels, especially ones we don’t own, aren’t my style.
Driving Highway Seventeen into town, I find I enjoy the quaint feel it has. Cherry Grove is just north of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It’s just far enough away from the hustle and bustle of the main beach. Families will love this area.