by Leaona Luxx
“You too, Sandy. I guess we need to get going, we need to get supplies for a school project,” I explain to her.
“Alright, have fun. Bye, Andi.” Sandy smiles as she waves, walking away.
Projects at nine-years-old, what in the hell? Once home, Mom’s waiting on us with dinner. Once we eat dinner, I help Andi with her school work, putting her to bed soon after.
I’m distant for the rest of the evening, thinking about Torrie. I end up back in the barn, talking to my dad. I miss him so much. It’s times like these that I need a man’s advice.
Hell, I’m not even sure if his advice would work for my situation with Torrie. Still, to hear his voice, calming and understanding, would be nice. He would get me in here working on something and give me the best advice about life.
He even talked to me about Ava. Explaining things to me about love and life is something I cherish. I’ve written some things down, things I never want to forget.
Here I am, needing him more than ever, and I can’t have him. Boys need their fathers, just like girls need their mothers. They need a strong man to show them how to be a good man. That it’s alright to cry, to be wrong and admit when you are.
To be understanding and to be there when someone needs you. But to also know when you need someone and to show a boy how to be a good father. “What should I do about Torrie, Dad?” I ask out loud, praying he answers me. When it looks as though I’m not going to get an answer, I switch the lights off in the barn. As I do, something catches my eye.
Bending over, I pick the clear plastic wrapper up. It’s faded, the words on it are almost unreadable. Turning it in the light, I squint, trying to make out the letters. Some are missing, most are faded. I begin to make out a few letters and it hits me—Twizzlers.
“Where do we stand right now, Torrence?” My father wants updates every five minutes on this project.
“It’s looking good. Finalizing everything today,” I say as I roll my eyes. “You know, I am COO of this company. You sent me here because you knew I’d get the job done. So let me do it, please.”
“Until you’re CEO, you’ll continue to answer to me,” he states firmly.
“Fine. I need to get moving.” I end the call before he can with a huff. I need to close this project with exactly what my father is expecting, a hotel. He’ll never retire, leaving me the company, if I don’t. I’ll bite the bullet and work with Brannon, getting the job done is all that matters.
If memory serves me, he doesn’t have a problem pleasing me. Damn it, why am I even thinking about him? He was always an amazing lover, making sure I was taken care of before finding his own release.
I looked at him like I could fuck him on the table in front of everyone. I need to remember I hate him, well like I should hate him. I was stunned to see him. Absolutely, I was dumbfounded to have seen him after all this time.
If I can arrange for us to stay away from each other, we can get it done. I’m sure One can help us plan to stay apart. If we have to be together, we’ll do it with others around. Picking up my phone, I decide I have a call to make.
“Hello,” One answers.
“Hi, it’s Torrie. Do you have a minute?” Asking a mundane question gives me another minute to collect my thoughts.
He doesn’t pause, he’s attentive immediately. “Yes, of course. How can I help you?”
Clearing my throat, I explain what I need to have done. “It’s about Brannon. I’m thinking if we can manage to not allow his expenses to register on my father’s radar and keep him far away from me, we can get this done. The sooner, the better.”
He’s silent for a moment, I know they’re odd requests. “Well, all we can do is try. I can add his fee as one of my employee’s. I appreciate the fact you want to try.”
“Thank you for understanding. The entire thing is awkward, it’ll be nice to lay it out and move past it. I need this job done.” Although, if he tries to kiss me, all bets are off. Ugh, why did I think about that?
One interrupts my thoughts, “May I ask something?”
Oh, no. Here it comes. “Sure.” Please don’t.
“What happened between you and Brannon?” One’s words have more impact on me than I’m ready for, but I answer anyway.
“He broke my heart.” And so much more.
“I understand. Let’s try to make this as painless as possible. I’ll see you tomorrow, noon.” One ends the call.
I toss and turn all night, the next morning, I’m up, getting ready early. I want to look my best if I have to be around him. I opt for a business casual, navy shift dress. Solid top with a navy and white polka dot pattern on the bottom and navy kitten heels with a wide belt.
I style my hair into a French twist, allowing a few stray pieces to frame my face. I keep my makeup neutral, with a tinted lip. I take a long look in the mirror, I look good. Although knowing I’m a mess inside, I put on a brave face.
Arriving at the office a little early, I check my face and hair, then walk in. Brannon is already here, and he looks angry as hell. He also looks like he hasn’t slept in days, good. Now he knows how I felt when he left me.
Thayer notices me and is the first to speak. “Hi, Torrie. It’s good to see to you. If you’ll follow me, we’ll go ahead into the conference room.” She waves me through, past Brannon.
I glance in his direction while she’s talking, and he’s gawking at me. His mouth hangs open, as his eyes run wild up and down my body. I’ve never felt so wanton, so sexy as I do right now. His appraisal is approving from the fire in his eyes.
“Thank you. Good afternoon,” I offer as I pass Brannon by, smirking at his facial expression.
“Are you okay?” Thayer asks.
“I am. He looks like he hasn’t slept.” Motioning to where Brannon sits.
“Oh, does he? I hadn’t paid attention but now that you mention it, he does look tired.” Thayer assesses him.
One walks out of his office, pausing to talk to Brannon. I know he’s telling him to play it cool, to be nice. Brannon’s still on his phone. I consider it rude and unprofessional, but it’s One’s business. They saunter into the meeting, One with his file in his hand and Brannon with his head down.
“Good day, everyone. I think we all understand why we’re here. I just want to assure you both we’ll try to limit your time together after this meeting.” One takes a small stack of paper out of the folder as he speaks then passes them around the table.
We both nod, looking at One as we both grab the same paper. Glancing up at each other, Brannon drops his end. I take the paper, and he takes the next the one. It’s a schedule of events. What days we need to be where and if we have to be together.
“Looks great, thank you,” I impart. Brannon draws my attention as he gazes at me.
“We’ve discussed adding Brannon on my payroll for billing purposes. He’s agreed, though I must say he brought up a valid point.” One regards me. Brannon’s nose is back in his phone.
“Which is?” I snap, and Brannon looks up.
“How would I list this on my resume, I would have no proof I did it?” Brannon questions me as he narrows his eyes.
“It’s not my problem, nor is it my company’s issue.” I assert.
“You’re right, it’s not your problem,” Brannon replies.
“No, it’s not. We’ll handle it, Torrie.” One is as pleasing as ever. Brannon’s nose is in his phone again.
“Do you think you could give your full attention here, this is important.” Rolling my eyes at his obvious attempt at making me jealous.
“No, I can’t. This,” he nods to his phone, “is more important. If you’ll excuse me.” He pushes away from the table, exiting the room.
Standing, I follow him out of the room. “Excuse me?” I demand his attention.
He glares at me, lifting a finger to finish his call. When he’s done, he looks at me once again. “What can I do for you?”
“Let’s take this outside,” I say as I walk toward the do
or. He follows me out, and I turn on him immediately. “You’re an asshole.”
“Is that all?” Brannon questions as he crosses his arms in defense.
“No, it’s not. Do you think you could limit your phone conversations while we’re working? I don’t want to witness your Friday night hook-ups.” I point at him with a fist on my side, heat crawls up my face.
“Torrie, damn it, you’re getting this all wrong.” He holds up his hands in defense, then something changes when his phone buzzes again. “I’ve gotta go. I know my role, so whatever you want is fine by me.”
“Since when do you give a fuck about what I want?” What in the name of all that’s holy is wrong with my mouth? Shit, I’ve lost my mind.
My words stop him cold, and he looks over his shoulder when he delivers his blow to my ego. Or to my libido, I’m not sure which. “I’ve always given you what you want.”
His eyes burn, making my core ignite. I pretend to purse my lips, but I bite my cheek instead. He leaves without another word. As he walks across the parking lot, a raven-haired woman pulls up in an old red car. She points at him, then to the building.
Brannon stands listening to her, shaking his head from time to time. Maybe it’s me but it looks as though she’s gesturing to my SUV, why in the hell would she be doing that? Does she think he’s here to see me?
I bet he was on the phone with her the entire time. She was mad because he was here and not with her. As good as he looks, he probably has women all over town. Especially with the money he has, they more than likely line up at his door.
“Are we going to be able to make this work?” One asks from the door.
I turn to look at him, my back to Brannon now. “Yes. We’ll be fine.” Turning back to Brannon, I watch what he’s doing with this woman. “Or we’ll kill each other,” I say as I step back inside.
“Maybe you should take the time to sit down and talk to him.” One glances over at me as I watch Brannon from the window.
“No. All I have right now is anger. All this time and I’m still angry. What does that mean?” Shaking my head, I continue to survey Brannon’s situation.
One sways back on his heels. “Torrie, you’re an intelligent woman, what do you think it means?”
Hanging my head, I realize my hand is over my heart. I must think I can protect it, but I never got it back, so how can I protect it? “I know. It’s killing me being this close to him.”
“You should talk. Maybe when you’re not wanting to kill him, though.” One chuckles making me laugh with him.
“Yeah, I think it would be better.” I can’t help but watch as the red car drives away and Brannon leaves in his truck. “Is he in a relationship?” I ask, not even considering whom I’m asking.
“Just go to him, talk. Try to clear the air, or at least, come to an understanding.” One cuts me off before I can ask anything else.
It’s true, I do need to have a conversation with him where I won’t kill him for his answers. “Yeah, soon. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Grabbing my things, I walk out, knowing at some point I need to talk to him. If I can pull him away from his obligations or women. I’m sure there’s a line formed around the corner. I hate to admit it, but he does look good; the beard is a plus.
I drive into town to the grocery store. Once I’m parked, I decide to sight see. I window shop at the local jewelry store, just to waste time. My phone buzzes, it’s my father. He asks about the meeting this morning, I break things down for him via text, I just can’t with him right now. My brain is already on overload with all this Brannon stuff, I can’t take my father’s also. While my phone is out, I decide to call Thayer.
“Hey, girl,” Thayer says in her sing-song way.
“Hey. How are you?” I ask in earnest. I wander over to a bench shaded by tall trees and sit.
“Good. Pregnant.” She giggles. “What’s up?”
“Am I that transparent or do I just call when I have an issue?” I cringe when I ask her.
“Torrie, in my limited time of knowing you, I know you can handle anything on your own, except Brannon,” Thayer says plainly.
“True.” I sigh. “He’s driving me insane. He’s hot and then he’s cold. He acts as if he can’t stand me in the room and the next, he’s telling me he wants me. What the fuck?” I exclaim.
“Torrie, do you not have much dating history?” Thayer questions me as her voice pitches.
“Yes, of course. I mean, dating as in…dates? No. I’ve gone on a few dates, but when they wanted to get serious, I backed out.” My head lulls back in defeat, I’m a mess.
“Brannon is the classic guy. He wants you, but he thinks you don’t want him. So, he goes hot and cold, and like you, he’s wrestling the same emotions.” I’ll be damned.
“Alright, I’m screwed,” I say as I shake my head.
“Not in the least, but you need to talk to each other,” Thayer says.
“Yeah, I keep hearing that. Now, how to do it without choking him,” I laugh. “Thanks, girl, I’m off the ledge.”
“No problem, call anytime. Bye.” Thayer ends the call while she’s laughing.
Shaking my head, I walk to the grocery store for my dinner. Just before I get there, I see a trinket shop and duck in to check them out. Wandering around a few minutes, I get another text from my father about another account at work.
I walk out the door and straight into Brannon. He’s talking to a woman with a little girl. Two minutes in, we’re being assholes to one another. I give up, walking away. Running into the grocery store, I grab my dinner and walk back to the rental, I need food and my bed.
Once at home, I put my grilled chicken into a nice salad. Sitting at the bar, I try to eat but I’m still mad. Who in the hell does he think he is? He makes me sick with his ‘you know you want me’ attitude.
I’m not even sure when my feet start moving until the sand is between my toes. The beach is empty; a storm brews off the coast. Smiling at the thought, I feel the same way about my life. It feels as out of control as the ocean.
I’ve spent years trying to let go of him, why do I feel as though he never left? Fighting the tears, I watch as the waves bury one another, praying my feelings for Brannon will do the same. Continuing to fight until they bury the other deep in my heart.
I love him; whether I should isn’t a factor.
The next few days go by in a blur. I run by the site as the building starts going up to check on things. One promised to figure out a way to help me with the reference for the job. The building is going to be great, the rest will work out. I care but then again, I don’t. The pull and tug from Torrie is killing me.
I know she’s hurt, but by God, I am too. She doesn’t see that or refuses to. There have been a few times I could have taken her over my knee or shake some sense into her. In the next minute, I want to take her in my arms and kiss her senseless, make her forget the pain her father marred both of us with.
My phone vibrates beside me, and I pick it up, seeing Hardy’s name on the screen. “Hey, what’s up, man.”
“One asked me to give you a call.” Hardy pauses for an instant before finishing. “We’ve figured out the payroll issue and need to run it by you.”
Shaking my head, that’s the best news I’ve gotten in weeks. “Good deal. I appreciate it.”
“Is there any way you can swing by tomorrow afternoon?” Hardy sounds distracted.
“Sure. Around one?” I ask as I fill the tractor with oil.
“Yeah, no. We’re thinking eleven.” Whispering in the background draws both our attentions, and I hear a muffling sound over the phone.
I wait until the sound comes back. “I can do eleven.”
“See you then. Thanks.” Hardy hangs up quickly, Thayer must have been in the room. They’re crazy about each other, it’s sickening.
Working on the farm the rest of the day gives me more time to think of Torrie. The middle twenty-five is home to our soy fields. I try to keep the back twenty
-five in good shape, it helps with the crops. Working longer than usual, I decide it may help me sleep.
Since Torrie showed up, sleep is not a friend of mine. Some would say it’s guilt, and they would be right, but today it’s not just about what I did. It’s also about what I didn’t do. I didn’t stay. All these years and it’s the one thing that haunts me.
Have I thought about asking her what happened after I left? Yes. Damn, it’s all I’ve thought about. How I should have gone back for her. Tell her everything. Details she still has no clue about, things she deserves to know.
So many things I want to know, I deserve to know. She’s so damn angry, she can’t see past the fact that her taking his offer broke me. How do you find closure when you know in your gut it ain’t over? Fuck this, I want her.
As I lay in bed, I can’t help but think of her. She’s in my every thought, waking or sleep. Slowly, I drift off, dreaming of her.
I wake up early to make sure I’m on time to the office this morning. I’m not positive but I think Torrie may be coming in for this meeting with One about adding me to the payroll. I decide to not take any chances, I dress to impress.
Entering the office, Torrie’s here. She does a double take as I pass by, her eyes burning through me. Stopping by the door, I allow her to take in the full view. Her eyes tear a path down my body, pausing in all the right places.
As her gaze locks on mine, my smirk goes to full on smile, and I wink. Torrie goes from burning to flaming, as her face turns red from the neck up. I adore her when she’s embarrassed. Her pale skin holds the pink in her cheeks a little longer than most.
“Mornin’,” I offer to her as a greeting. She turns her head, fanning herself.
Thayer smiles as she speaks to me. “Good morning, Brannon. How are you?”
“Good morning, Thayer. I’m good. How are you and the baby?” I ask with complete sincerity.
She gives me a gut check as she walks by me. “We’re good, thank you. You look nice today. Any special reason?” My black dress pants with gray dress shirt are accompanied with my southern charm, reminding Torrie, it wasn’t my portfolio that got her attention.