One half of the coin said yes, one half said no.
I didn’t understand the jumbled words of three psychotic fortune tellers, but I instinctively knew I wasn’t meant to. Nix knew. Nix understood. And somehow those words and prophecies fit into his already carefully crafted plan for my life.
I tried to imagine how my curse could possibly manifest in a way that could destroy everything or bring in a new era? I didn’t have any special gift. And I wasn’t anybody important.
My lure was just like my mother’s and her mother’s. I had one purpose in life and that was to draw men into me. It wasn’t strong enough that men hunted me from miles away. Usually, it was nothing more than a compelling feeling that turned their attention my direction. I still had to be charming. I still had to work on my beauty.
None of this made sense.
And I didn’t want any part of it anyway.
I breathed in deeply through my nose and then out the same way. Finally, I was convinced Nix and Ava would not be coming back. I glanced down at the cellphone I happened to be crushing in my anxious grip.
Everybody’s on their way to Delice. Come over. I’ll have your Macchiato ready in five.
My heart lurched with those words. And not just for the promised coffee. I was also excited to see Ryder, although in this particular example, he took the backseat to my favorite drink of all time.
Make it over ice and I’ll kiss you again. I texted back, feeling almost giddy to go see him.
His reply was instant. Don’t tempt me, Red. I’m only a man.
So you’re saying you liked kissing me? It was fun to flirt with Ryder. A dangerous pastime maybe… but I couldn’t help myself.
I liked kissing you.
My heart thumped in my chest, a sound that was so loud I swore it echoed through the empty apartment. My blood zinged to life and my lungs opened up and gratefully accepted the oxygen they usually struggled to inhale.
You would kiss me again? The smile that lit my face went from ear to ear and I was sure that his answer didn’t even matter. Everything he had said was enough- would carry me through until I couldn’t go anymore and then it would pick me up again and promise me I could make it.
I would kiss you till the world ends.
I stared at my phone screen and read those few, simple words over and over and over, until they started to blur and stopped looking like letters I could understand. I read them until my heart and soul and metaphysical pieces of me had every sound and syllable memorized. I locked them away, I tattooed them on my heart, I breathed them in and let them absorb into my skin and blood and bones until they became an immovable part of me.
Are you going to come see me now? He texted after I hadn’t replied.
On my way.
How could I say no to him? Not after that. Not after anything with him. This boy owned me. He owned every piece and part of me.
And I let him have it all.
I knew he would take better care of it than I ever had. He would protect it, protect me. And he would keep me safe.
I grabbed my wallet and my apartment keys and locked up behind me. I pressed the elevator button rapidly, willing it to make the carriage climb faster. On the ground level, I raced across the street not even bothering to wait for a “walk” signal or traffic to move out of the way.
By the time I flung myself into Delice, Phoenix was already there and leaning over the counter. He looked like a giant in a dollhouse. His lanky limbs dangled from his shoulders and hips like they could be attached to strings but someone had forgotten to hold them taut. He swung his head toward me when the bells chimed over my head and shot me a goofy grin.
“It’s the Ginga Ninja!” he exclaimed. Setting his smoothie on the counter, he turned to face me completely, pressed both hands together and bowed out of respect.
“Phoenix-son has returned,” I declared in my best impression of Mr. Miyagi. The Karate Kid was just another must-see in Ryder and Phoenix’s long list of movies that would change my life.
“I’m back!” He stood to his full height and closed the distance between us. Without warning he pulled me into a huge hug so that I had to wrap my arms around his waist or he would knock us over. He lifted me off the ground in his enthusiasm and I squealed as he smothered me against his chest.
“How was the nudist colony?” I giggled into his man-tank. I had some serious opinions on the man-tank, but Phoenix managed to pull it off with his lithe muscles and fresh tan.
“Stop that,” he begged. “There was no nudity.”
“Family camp with the hippy parents? Sounds like a nudey beach to me.”
“You’re such a pervert.” He set me down and walked back over to his forgotten drink. “Can you imagine how weird that would be with a beach full of families?”
We shuddered at the same time and wisely dropped the subject. Ryder emerged from the kitchen with his hands full of freshly cleaned ceramic coffee cups. His eyes found mine immediately and then he let them trail over my body in a thorough inspection of what could be wrong with me. When he finally let me gaze into those gray depths again, he seemed grudgingly satisfied.
“Red, you alright?” he asked with deceptive calm.
“I’m just fine,” I grinned at him, even though I was anything but, even though this day would be what my nightmares were made out of for the rest of my life. But now I had him and I was with friends and away from the gates of hell. Now I was fine.
Now I would be fine.
“You promised me a drink,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, yeah,” he groaned. “I didn’t want it to melt.”
My smile stretched further across my face.
The bells chimed behind me and I whirled around to face my two closest friends, apart from Ryder. Exie Kissner and Sloane Clayton stepped through the glass door already smiling at Phoenix and me. I hadn’t seen them in almost a week and it felt amazing to be around them again.
“Call the search off, Ex; we found her,” Sloane commented dryly. They were happy to see me but I could sense the explanation they were waiting for, especially since last night I had been ignoring their texts and concerned phone calls.
“You owe me ten bucks.” Exie held her hand out to Sloane who dug around in her pocket and then slammed a ten in Exie’s open palm.
“What was that for?” Phoenix asked.
“Sloane thought Ivy had been murdered,” Exie explained. “But obviously not. We made a bet and I just won.”
“You made a bet?” Most of my happiness to see my friends faded in that exact moment. “On whether or not I was murdered?”
They both cracked under my hurt expression and laughed.
“No!” Exie exclaimed. “But we did seriously think it could be a possibility. How could you skip last night? And how are you not dead?”
“What was last night?” Phoenix tried to keep up.
“My birthday party,” I tossed at him over my shoulder. “My godfather threw a party.”
“And she ditched it,” Sloane revealed emphatically. “Her mom flew in guests from Greece and Ivy couldn’t be bothered to show up.”
“Something came up.” I shrugged and turned back to the counter where Ryder was ready to hand me my iced caramel macchiato.
Bless him.
“Happy birthday, Ives, but what could be more important than relatives from Greece?” Phoenix demanded and his voice was so strained that it squeaked over the last few words.
I took a sip to disguise the telling-expression that I knew was twisting my face. My guests from Greece were in fact the Fates and I could really never see them again in my life and be just perfectly fine.
Ryder jumped in before I could come up with something suitable. “A concert,” he told them. “With me.”
Exie and Sloane exchanged a sly look and Phoenix’s face broke out into his signature goofy grin again.
“Does Nix know where you were?” Sloane demanded with a concerned glance at Ryder.
I shook my head.
“No. He didn’t ask.”
“You’ve seen him today?” Exie gasped. “Wasn’t he pissed?”
“He wasn’t happy,” I mumbled. “I’ll tell you the rest later.”
Sloane and Exie both nodded but I could tell they were basically salivating for the details. Phoenix stayed oblivious to the darker threads of the conversation and turned to Ryder so they could discuss band things.
Sugar Skulls was the name of the band that Ryder fronted and Phoenix played drums in. They were actually really good and had a running gig at the Slowdown’s underage night. I sometimes joined the band to lend them my keyboard skills since I had been playing piano since childhood. Music was one of those inherent skills that my powers forced me to be good at.
It was also the only thing that I didn’t loathe about my life. While music had the potential to destroy those around me, it always saved me.
The piano was my lifeline to surviving.
I just couldn’t sing for anyone.
“Ivy, are you practicing with us this week?” Ryder asked from behind the counter.
“Yeah.” I sucked in a drink of my iced coffee and stifled a moan. How were these things so delicious? I could drink like ten of them and still want more. “Thursday?”
“Yes,” Ryder confirmed. His eyes watched my mouth as I enjoyed more of the drink he made me. I felt a blush creep up the base of my throat and spread across my cheeks. I couldn’t get last night out of my head or what it was like to have his mouth on mine. And then his texts this afternoon…
Phoenix cut in and blockaded my thoughts from wherever dangerous place they were headed, “Don’t forget my epic going away party for Chase this weekend.”
“Epic?” Sloane sounded skeptical.
He glared at her. “All my parties are epic.”
Exie laughed. “You’re adorable.”
“But like, sexy adorable, right?” Phoenix frowned.
The rest of us dissolved into laughter while Ryder assured Phoenix that was exactly what he meant.
“Do you ladies want anything?” Ryder asked my friends.
They moved forward to place an order with Ryder while Phoenix and I found a table. We talked about his family vacation while we waited for the others to join us. I watched across the street to see if Nix or my mom showed back up but I never saw Nix’s fast little sports car return.
We spent the afternoon hanging out over yummy, sugary coffee and enjoying the air-conditioned space. Ryder’s shift ended an hour later and after he passed the proverbial baton to his replacement he joined us at our table. He pulled up a chair from a different table and slid it next to mine.
Slinging his arm around the back of my chair, he leaned back into his own and spread out his long legs under the table. His tattoos were covered today in a white Henley, but I could see the green ink poking out at his wrists. His hair had been messed up in wild waves throughout his shift and he leaned into me until we were only an inch apart.
He was totally crowding me.
“Comfortable?” I asked with a lift of my eyebrow.
He flashed me a crooked smile. “This will do.”
“You’re saying it could be better?”
He leaned in so that our conversation was a little more private and dropped his voice. He shrugged a deceptively casual shoulder and murmured, “I think I remember being promised something if I had a drink ready for you.”
My stomach dipped suddenly and I felt like I had just been at the peak of a rollercoaster and the car had taken off down the steep, winding twists and turns that would make me scream out in equal terror and excitement.
Before I could even try to come up with something cute to say back, he leaned closer and confessed, “Ivy, I’ve been thinking about last night all day. I can’t get you out of my head.”
I snapped to attention with a rigid spine and clenched fists. I had been completely under his spell just moments ago, but those were the scariest words he could have ever said to me. I didn’t want him obsessing about me. I didn’t want him imagining the next time he would get to kiss me. That was a dangerous road. He was supposed to be different. He was supposed to be able to ignore the curse.
“Ryder…”
His gunmetal eyes found mine and held me there. “Not like that,” he told me seriously. “I didn’t mean like that.”
“How can you tell?” I whispered.
“Do you trust me?” He was so utterly serious that I couldn’t think for a moment. His hand had found its way to mine and he held my fist in his masculine grip without comforting me or coddling me. He was demanding his answer, demanding that I be honest with him. His pretty mouth turned down to a frown and his eyes were hypnotically grave. It was as though I could see everything in that steely gaze, like he was revealing himself entirely for me to inspect and judge. His soul was there, just behind the thick lashes and glossy gray of his pupils. He was showing it to me so that I could decide what I wanted. He just asked for the truth in return.
And he would always get it from me. I was beyond being able to give him anything but exactly what he wanted.
“Yes,” I promised him. “I trust you.”
He relaxed a bit, and the hint of a smile played with the corners of his mouth. “Then maybe you should put some faith in your skill.” I realized that he was talking about my “kissing” skill and I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up inside me. He bent close to my ear and admitted, “I think I have a few things to learn about that whole thing. I think you should teach them to me.”
I laughed to cover my absolute desperation to agree to help out. Although, the entire idea was absurd. He needed no help from me. He wasn’t the only one who had thought about those moments constantly since they happened and nothing about his skill level screamed anything but proficient and expert.
“So you’re saying this is for research purposes only?” My voice was entirely too breathy for my own good.
Ryder’s lips grazed against my earlobe. “Consider it your own personal PSA.”
“What are you two whispering about over there?” Exie demanded.
Shaken out of my Ryder-induced stupor I leaned away from the boy and avoided eye contact with everyone. “Band stuff,” I mumbled lamely.
Ryder sat back with a smug grin on his face. “Yeah, sure. Band stuff.”
Well, he was no help.
My friends snickered. Traitors.
When Sloane calmed down, she said, “We have to go, Ives. We’ve been summoned.”
“By who?” I pouted.
“The big man himself. He requests an audience at my house.”
“Just us?” I picked up my phone that I’d forgotten about. There were thirteen missed texts and five missed calls. Oops.
“Looks like a mass text,” Exie explained while reading her own screen. “I think this includes everybody.”
“Should be fun,” I groaned.
The girls stood up and grabbed their trash to toss. I made a move to join them when Ryder put his hand on mine again. “Don’t go.”
“I have to,” I told him. I didn’t want to say anything more because Phoenix was so close, but he seemed to get the hint and went to join Exie and Sloane.
“No you don’t,” Ryder insisted. “Stay with me. He won’t be able to find you if you stay with me.”
I recognized his panic that set in whenever I had to go spend time with Nix. I didn’t blame him. I felt the same way. But I was walking a fine line right now and I didn’t want to push my luck too far. I just skipped something huge last night. No way would Nix let me get away with it twice in a row.
“Ryder, I can’t.”
“You can, but you’re too afraid not to.”
I pulled my hand away. “I don’t want to fight with you about this. You know what this is like for me.”
“And that’s why I know you’ll be safer if you stay with me.” His voice was unbreakable and his eyes were solid granite. He reached for me again, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue to say no
to him if he touched me. He had this way of getting under my skin and not letting go.
I pushed away from the table and stood up. “Thank you for being worried about me.” I sounded clinical and robotic, but I couldn’t help it. If I gave Ryder any real emotion right now I would throw myself back into his arms and beg him to take me to his safe, happy home. “But I have to go now. I’ll call you later.”
“You’re never going to get out of this as long as you keep doing whatever he wants. You’re going to be trapped with him forever.”
His words punched me in the stomach and I almost doubled over from the pain of them. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Ivy, you can’t even stomach the thought of being around those people yet you jump up the very moment he beckons you. You’re not in a profession. He’s not your boss. You’re a seventeen year old girl that should be enjoying her life. Stay with me. Rebel a little.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.” Tears flooded my eyes and I pushed by him.
Sensing my hurried need for escape, Sloane and Exie wrapped things up with Phoenix and hurried after me. I glanced back at Ryder but he wasn’t watching me. He had stood up but his hands were linked behind his head and he was staring at the ceiling. Phoenix walked over to say something to him but it didn’t go well. He shook his head angrily and then kicked out at the chair I had just vacated.
I decided then to stop watching him. I got in Exie’s car and prepared to face Nix yet again, along with the rest of the women from our circle.
I ignored every other thought of Ryder. Because even though he had the power to save me with just thoughts of him… right now he had the power to break me. And I couldn’t let him. I couldn’t let him strip me of every defensive wall I’d built and safeguard I’d cemented around my heart.
He couldn’t shatter me so easily.
Not when he didn’t feel anything for me. Not when he was supposed to be the exception to every one of my rules.
Chapter Six
“What’s going on with you and Ryder?” Exie asked as soon as she pulled out onto Farnam. She whipped her bouncy blonde hair over her shoulder and raised her perfectly manicured eyebrows at me. Exie Kissner made up half of my best-friend duet and looked like a living replica of Malibu Barbie. She had flawless, tanned skin, pouty lips, huge boobs and gorgeous blonde hair.
The Fall (The Siren Series) Page 5