Ryder squeezed me tighter. “No,” he whispered into my hair, “because he will never break you. You’ll never break down. You’re way too strong for his games.”
I let my soul absorb his words and I chose to believe them. It wasn’t easy. And it felt like a huge lie I was trying to convince myself of… but I decided if I could believe those words then maybe they would become true.
If I believed I was strong, then I would become strong.
If I believed I wasn’t crazy, then I would keep my sanity.
“Alright, Red, let’s get you out of here before you cause any more trouble.” Ryder finally pulled away and opened the door.
“It wasn’t me that got into trouble, Champ. I’m not the one with the fists of fury!”
He dropped a kiss to the top of my head and drawled, “Just trying to be a good… friend.”
His sweet words sent butterflies tumbling through me and I stayed in his arms for a long time. Neither one of us wanted to walk away but eventually we did. He dropped me off at home and made me promise to call him the second I felt in danger.
I didn’t of course, because that would have meant a phone call the moment I stepped out of his car.
But I did agree to.
He drove home and probably went straight to bed.
I walked upstairs and took off my makeup and changed. I got into bed and I closed my eyes.
And then I replayed every sweet moment with him over the night at least a thousand times. Until finally the beautiful memories felt like a silky blanket over my skin and soothed me to sleep with their addictive lullaby.
Chapter Eleven
Sunday. My favorite day of the week.
It had been over a week since Ryder and Chase fought at Phoenix’s house and my mom had been choked out by Nix. It had been more than a week since my life had tumbled into a darker part of hell and the Fates had stuck their claws into my life and clasped on with fierce resolve.
It had been more than a week since Nix asserted every ounce of dominance he could into my life.
And I was now a survivor of what it was like to have the god of the sea decide you belonged to him.
I had seen more darkness in this last week than I ever intended to see in my entire life and lived beyond circumstances I thought I was capable of.
Greeks had begun to fly in from around the world in order to lend support to Nix’s campaign. This meant dinners, parties, cocktails, orgies… whatever the Greeks wanted to do, we did. And without exception, they wanted to meet me.
I was somewhat of a celebrity.
Or, maybe celebrity was the wrong word. I was more of a shiny bauble or freak phenomenon. I was a means to an end. The jewel in Nix’s crown, the eagle on the end of his staff.
I was a symbol of power.
And the Greeks around me plotted and schemed ways to overthrow a mountain I still didn’t believe existed.
My reality had always felt like a nightmare to me, but truly my life had become a horrific caricature of real life. I had met myth after Greek myth in the last week. Gods, goddesses, monsters, creatures from the darkest of places… all masquerading around as prominent humans with the intent to bring down a godhood that had existed as long as they had.
All the while I stood faithfully at Nix’s side rotting from the inside out.
But today was different. No Nix. No Greek Pantheon. No evil men to taint the air I breathed.
Sunday was the day my mother took me to visit my little sister, Honor.
We had to skip last week because Nix had nearly hospitalized her when he decided to teach me a lesson the Friday night before. Her eyes had been disgustingly blood shot, and Nix’s fingerprint-sized bruises had wrapped around her delicate throat and stretched upwards to the underside of her jaw. She looked horrific for several days. Even now, she wasn’t entirely healed, but the bruising had faded some. Her eyes were back to normal and if she wrapped her neck with a trendy scarf, she could hide what was left of the yellowing.
Smith opened the door himself and stepped to the side so we could enter his gigantic West Omaha mansion. The place was opulent to the max, but his rooms were lived in and had a homey vibe to them. Honor came squealing down the staircase and leapt into my arms.
We wrapped our arms around each other and stood there just loving each other until my mom cleared her throat. Honor left me to embrace my mom while I greeted Smith.
“Hi, Smith,” I smiled at him carefully. I had a lot to talk to him about today, but we were going to have to be sneaky about it.
Smith looked over my face with a scrutinizing expression. His dark brown eyes took in every inch of me while he chose his words carefully. “We missed you last week,” he stated. With the slightest crook of his eyebrow, I knew that was a silent question meant for me. He was asking if I was alright.
I nodded imperceptibly and then inclined my head toward the office. I hoped he picked up the subtle hint.
“Oh, don’t lie in front of Honor, Smith,” my mother tsked patronizingly. “We wouldn’t want her to start thinking less of you.”
“I was speaking to Ivy.” His words were clipped and his manner ice cold toward my mother.
They hated each other.
Since I could remember they had been in custody battles over Honor, my little sister, who was twelve now.
Smith was supposed to be another easy mark for my mother. He had stage four brain cancer when they met, married and he impregnated her. The doctors all predicted that he would die, that he couldn’t survive such an aggressive disease.
My mother had counted on that fact. She would have her second baby, her legacy, and all Smith’s money. And Smith would die knowing he left an heir to his fortune.
It was exactly how my mother had procreated me.
It was our way.
The only problem with Smith though, was that he didn’t die. He lived.
And sometime during all his rounds of chemo, or maybe it was the near death experience… whatever it was, Smith had shaken off the shackles of the curse and realized how truly awful my mother was.
He wasn’t influenced by her at all these days; except in what she could take him to court over.
But so far, the courts had always ruled in his favor. He had a lot of pull in this city, and always arranged for a female judge. That alone put my mother at a huge disadvantage. He also maintained an almost exclusively female staff- something that was garnering him a lot of positive press around the world since his companies were all so very successful.
And to add the third miracle to his sainthood, he saw that I was in danger and had been working very hard to help me obtain my trust earlier than my eighteenth birthday. So far, the plan for freedom had always been contingent on a trust fund, left to me by my own father, I didn’t have access to until I was eighteen, at which point it would be too late.
Smith knew I needed that money as soon as possible, so he was helping me get it. I would never be able to repay him for this generosity. He was risking everything to help me.
If my mother found out she would crucify him in court and probably win Honor in the process. At this point, if Nix found out, I truly believed he would have Smith killed. Probably even do it himself.
But Smith saw that I needed help. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know if he could see how utterly broken I was, or that he just knew my mother was so evil there was no way I could be safe.
It didn’t really matter though, because he wanted to help and I had decided last fall that I needed to let him.
Now more than ever this was true.
We followed Smith into a sitting area and spread out on the couches. Honor chatted about everything from her new homeschool curriculum, to the trip to France they’d just returned from. They were leaving for Italy in one week and then Dubai the second week in September.
I couldn’t help but tear up at the happy life my sister lived. She was the exact opposite as me. She loved the parent she lived with and he spoiled her rotten. She looked at t
he world full of hope and potential and couldn’t wait to be a part of it. She had dreams and goals and this huge future that Smith would do absolutely whatever it took to give to her.
I hated my mother. I hated the world I lived in and would never trust it or enjoy it. And my future entailed either escaping in the back of a truck to Mexico or helping the god of the sea take down Zeus the almighty.
Or we could go back to Nix’s old plan in which I was a sex slave for the rest of my life.
Actually… maybe after the whole we-take-over-the-world thing, that was still in the plans.
“How do you feel about homeschooling?” I cut in the second Honor took her first deep breath.
She grimaced. “At first I thought it would be the end of the world… but daddy has been talking to me about it and what it will be like. I’ll get to learn at a faster pace. And I’ll get to travel with him whenever he goes somewhere for business. We’re going to take a lot more trips, too, so that will be fun. I’m just worried about not having any friends.”
My heart cracked down the center at the one fear that would always be true. She would never have friends. Girls would always hate her because she would always be their competition and they would always, always stand in her glorious, supernatural shadow. And boys would never be nice to her without ulterior motives. She would always be a conquest to them and her curse would ensure that every last one of them was drawn in.
Every one of them except her dad.
And Ryder.
Was it too much to hope that she could find a Ryder, as well? That there wasn’t just one of him and I had been lucky enough to stumble into him?
I wanted her to have someone she could trust like I could trust him. And someone she could hold hands with and cuddle with without him pushing her too far or claiming her as his property. I wanted her to never lose her rose-colored glasses and stay this beautiful, both on the inside and out, for the rest of her days.
I wanted for her what I could never have for myself.
Because even though I had Ryder, I was still the same black-hearted girl I had always been.
“You’ll always have me, Babe,” I promised her. “I’ll always be your friend.”
Her smile stretched across her face and made her entire body glow. She was supposed to be a replica of my mother and me by default but her happiness made her infinitely more beautiful and her innocent soul kept the rough edges and dark shadows from tainting her perfect features.
She was breathtaking every time I looked at her.
“We’ll have Ivy over more often,” Smith suggested. “You won’t have to worry about school responsibilities anymore, so she can come visit whenever she wants.”
Before I could squeal and scream over that exciting new opportunity, my evil wench of a mother cut in, “That’s generous, Smith. We’d love to be more involved with Honor’s life.”
“Ava, you don’t really believe that invitation was meant for you as well,” Smith laughed bitterly.
“Now Smith, what is the reason you would keep me away from my daughter? Why is Ivy invited over but not me? I’m her mother. And I’ve been restricted to visiting once a week. Please explain to me, to all of us, why I’m being kept away! What have I done that you cannot trust me around my own child?” Her voice escalated until she was a shrieking banshee in the still house. Her shrill voice echoed off the high ceilings and through all of the empty rooms and cut at my ears until I thought they would bleed.
“Excuse me,” I whispered. I sprinted from the room and to the nearest bathroom. There were too many truths I felt compelled to speak, too many secrets I so desperately wanted to share. Smith and my mother never fought in front of Honor and therefore I never had to witness any of it either. But now that it was in front of me, I would do anything to jump in there and lay out her offenses for Smith and Honor and anyone else that would listen. I wanted to lay every last piece of dirty laundry on the table just so I could point to it and say, “There! That’s what you’ve done!”
And I couldn’t.
I couldn’t say anything.
I locked the door behind me and sunk to the floor. The carpet was plush underneath me and I clutched it with two hands while I trembled and sniffled in my own pity.
A few minutes later a soft knocking vibrated against my back.
“Ivy,” Smith called in a soft voice. “It’s me. Can we talk?”
I sucked in a deep breath and stood to my feet. I wiped under my eyes quickly and tried to appear presentable before opening the door for Smith.
He looked over his shoulder once and then slipped inside with me. He turned and locked the door and then pushed his back against it as if it wouldn’t be enough to stop Ava from barging in.
“What’s wrong?” he whisper demanded. “Where were you last week? Has something happened? Are you alright?”
I nodded to assure him that I hadn’t been harmed. “Mom was sick last week,” I retold our lie and hated how sour the words felt on my tongue. But if I was going to do this… if I was really going to escape, I couldn’t tell Smith that we had missed because my mom had practically been choked to death by her pimp in front of me. He wouldn’t let me stay with her for one more minute and he’d turn this into a gigantic circus. I didn’t want to get thrown into a custody battle for the next year.
I wanted to slip quietly into the night and fade into nothing.
“I don’t believe you.” His eyes narrowed and I decided not to try to argue that point.
Instead, I changed the subject. My voice dropped to the barest whisper so that I was sure he had to read my lips to understand what I was saying. “Smith, I need to speak with Mallory Hunter.” Mallory was the lawyer working on releasing my trust. If I was going to get the money early, she would be the woman to get it to me.
In a roundabout way, she also worked for Smith.
He nodded once and pulled out his phone. “Do you want her phone number?”
I flipped through my own cell and decided that it was better if I didn’t have any of the details personally. “I’m going to put a number into your phone,” I whispered. “Text everything to this number.”
“You trust this person?” Smith asked cautiously.
“With my life.”
I entered Ryder’s number into Smith’s phone. I hated pulling Ryder more into this than he already was, but I didn’t see another option. If I was caught with anything that could incriminate me, my escape plan would be over before it began. Besides, Ryder was safe. He would be happy I got help.
As soon as Smith had the number he left the bathroom as quietly as he came. I spent a few more minutes freshening up and spacing us apart before I walked back into the living room.
My mother and Honor were laughing softly on the couch, talking about France and their favorite foods and shops. Ava could be very charming when she tried.
She always tried with Honor.
She had to work with Honor because Smith was the best dad in the world. I had never once been treated like my little sister. I had never whispered and laughed with my mother or talked about our favorite things. I had never even been to France. She’d taken me on other trips, but not so that I could have a good time and visit her favorite places.
I might have been jealous in different circumstances. But I couldn’t seem to conjure up the normal emotions. I felt more pity and fear for Honor than I felt for myself. I couldn’t be jealous of her because I had never desired this relationship with my mom.
Ava’s cold green eyes snapped to mine and she regarded me suspiciously. Her lips tilted in a satisfied smirk and her expression sparked with calculated interest.
I should have been afraid. If I were smarter and wiser, if I had been able to look into the future and see all of the important things, I should have been terrified. But seeing her with my little sister and after surviving the last week, I felt nothing but determination.
I fortified myself to this escape plan and nothing would stop me.
She woul
d never get the truth out of me. I would never crack.
Because they could kill me tomorrow and it would be better than the future they had planned for me. Spilling my secret would be sentencing myself to an eternity worse than hell.
After what I witnessed between Nix and her, I knew that her life wasn’t the image she portrayed. I could see how broken she was now; I could see past the glamorous façade she projected for everyone to see and into the dark depths of her shallow existence. Her life was desolate and bleak; her soul black and fading. She didn’t hold the power over my spirit that she once did.
I was stronger today than I was yesterday.
And tomorrow I would be even stronger.
Every day moving forward I would build my strength and reinforce my will.
Every day forward I would become the person I wanted to be.
Someone healthy. Someone happy.
Someone free.
We spent the rest of the day flanking Honor on the couch, cuddled up and intimate. Smith left us alone for the most part, but I could feel his presence always hovering near the edges of the room.
I didn’t understand his sixth sense, but I was thankful for it.
He gave me hope in a way I had never felt before.
Not every person was a part of my world. Not every person had to be destroyed by an ancient cult or ruled by an obsolete people that still had insane fantasies of unlimited control and world-wide power.
We left sometime before dinner. I kissed Honor’s cheek and held her closely for a long time. This felt final for some reason. And my stomach erupted with anxiety.
I wanted to stay and protect her as long as I could. But if I couldn’t save myself than I could never hope to keep her removed from my world. I had to trust Smith. I had to believe he could keep her separate.
“Homeschooling isn’t the end of the world,” I whispered in her golden red hair- the same color as mine. She sniffled into my shoulder. “Trust your dad, Honor. Please believe he’s doing what’s best for you.”
She was quiet for a few moments before she whispered, “He’s doing this to protect me, isn’t he? It’s because we’re not like other girls, Ivy.”
The Fall (The Siren Series) Page 11