Ryder relaxed and agreed immediately. “Yes, that makes sense. If those were the case, she wouldn’t need the money. She would need an adult to council her or rehab.”
“Exactly,” Mallory smiled at him. “But she doesn’t need either of those things.” Her statement was a discreet question I didn’t blame her for asking.
I looked to Ryder for guidance and he answered, “Ivy is in real danger. I can vouch for her. We can’t say more than that, but you already know Smith Porter believes her, as well.”
“You’re right,” Mallory agreed curtly. “Here is how we proceed. I set up a meeting with Jared. I will try to convince him that the trust should be released early. If I succeed, which by the way is a big if, then it will take him twenty-four hours to hand over the money. This is the hard part. In order to release your funds, he will have to get a judge to sign off and most likely this will be public knowledge. I don’t know what kind of danger you’re facing, Ivy, but the best we can do in that scenario is find a safe place for you during that time and hope that no one is paying attention.”
I didn’t think that would be possible. And I wasn’t sure we could count on Jared T. Arturo’s silence. He had a thing for my mom. But twenty-four hours wasn’t such a long time to wait… Surely, I could hide for that long.
“So, he submits the right documents or whatever and then her funds are transferred as soon as a judge signs off?” Ryder clarified. I was thankful for his functioning brain. My own logic and reasoning seemed trapped in all the little details that could so easily go wrong.
“We’ll need her signature; but that can wait until the very end.”
“Only my signature?” I clarified.
Mallory nodded, “Yes. If the funds are released because your life is in question then only your signature is required.” She leaned forward and jotted something down on a legal pad in front of her. “And we’ll need a bank account where the money should be transferred.”
“I’ll have to give that to Mr. Arturo?” I asked on a choked whisper. No way would he be able to keep that private. No matter what obligation he was under to me, my mother could trump anything.
But Mallory dissuaded my fears. “No, Ivy. I’m the only one that will need the account and if it’s your wish I can destroy any hard copy after the information is entered.”
Ryder went a step further. “Could she enter the information herself and then destroy the hard copy herself?”
Mallory raised her eyebrows at his question but nodded. “Yes,” she said. “If that’s what you want. Ivy can do that part herself.”
“How long?” Ryder demanded next. “How long will this take.”
She cleared her throat and flipped through her appointment book. “I requested to speak with Jared as soon as possible but he is booked for three weeks yet. I could press for a closer meeting, but I didn’t want to raise any flags. If you need me to and think that it will be fine, then I will. But I’m trying to fly as under the radar as possible.”
Ryder tensed again, but I breathed a sigh of relief. As ready as I felt to flee, I wasn’t emotionally prepared to leave this all behind.
To say goodbye to my sister.
To turn my back on Exie and Sloane and all that we had planned since we were little girls. Although, I hoped to take them with me eventually.
I had friends now, or at least Phoenix. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him yet.
I was nervous about dropping out of high school and leaving every single thing I had ever known.
And Ryder… how would I even cope with being separated from him? How could I only have this short time left?
I realized how much I needed to think about this and plan. I didn’t even have a destination in mind. Escape, freedom… they never seemed real to me before. They were only a dream. A fantasy that kept me sane.
“Three weeks is good,” I told her. “I need time to figure some things out before… before I…”
“Before you get your trust,” Mallory finished for me when I couldn’t seem to end my sentence.
“Right.”
“Do we need to do anything else?” Ryder asked.
Mallory looked back and forth between us, her eyes moving with deliberate interest. “Get ready to go. If this is as serious as I think it is, you need to be ready to leave as soon as Jared submits the trust papers. You need your bank account ready. A passport if that’s necessary, which I will assume it is. You need to have said all of your goodbyes. Once the paperwork is turned in, everything will be public. I think it might be wise to find a quiet place for the day. Hide out somewhere safe until we can set up a time to sign all of the papers? When you get the call, consider yourself already gone, Ivy. Do you understand?”
I gulped and shot Ryder a glance. “I understand.”
“Is there a number I can reach you at? I would like to keep Mr. Porter out of this from here on out.”
Ryder nodded and gave her his number. “If you need to speak directly with Ivy, call or text with the time you will be calling and we’ll make sure she can answer the phone.”
We all stood up and she ushered us to the door. Just as we were about to leave, she grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Ivy, this will work. We will get you your trust.”
“What if Jared doesn’t believe you?” I asked with all the fear I felt.
“The fact that I believe you’re in danger is enough to make me do whatever it takes to get his judgment. I will not stop until that money is yours.”
I was staggered by her conviction. And I didn’t know what to do with that. So… I threw money at her. “You’ll bill me for all of this, won’t you?”
She broke out into an amused smile. “Everything is already covered. Mr. Porter has taken care of everything.”
Of course.
“Thank you again, Ms. Hunter,” I told her formerly but sincerely. “I appreciate everything you’ve done and will do.”
She seemed just as unnerved by my show of emotion as I had been for her resoluteness to argue my case. “It’s my job. Nothing more.”
“It’s more than a job to me. This is my life.”
Her eyes glossed over for just a second before she blinked away her emotion. She waved us out of her room and we made our way back down to the lobby.
Ryder and I were silent the entire way. We had a million things to talk about and figure out but both of us appeared to be at a loss for where to start.
He hadn’t let go of my hand since before we got here and still held it as we walked across the polished lobby floor together. We handed in our visitors’ badges and signed out. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to be out of here. I couldn’t wait to be back in Ryder’s Bronco and traveling anywhere but here.
This place now represented the end of us, the end of me… but in a different way than Nix did. If I stayed and Nix took me with him then I would die; every day I would die and be forced to live through it over and over again.
But what would happen to me if I had to leave Ryder?
I hadn’t even known him for a year yet. But in the short time that I had known him… He was closer to me than any other person. He was who I looked forward to being with the minute after I left him. He was who I thought about constantly. He was who I couldn’t live without.
“Ivy?” a voice called from across the lobby.
Oh, no.
“Ivy?” she asked again, only this time her voice cracked on my name.
I had almost made it… Ryder’s grip tightened on my hand, but this wasn’t the enemy that he thought it was.
I turned around and tried to smile at Linda Evans, Sam’s mom, but I couldn’t see straight anymore. The world tilted on its axis and I felt it spin out underneath my feet. My vision blurred and then spotted and then blurred again. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t be here.
“I thought that was you, Ivy.” She sounded breathless as she gripped my biceps and pulled me away from Ryder. I still couldn’t see her face; she was just a blob in my watery vi
sion. She was tall like Sam with rich blonde hair.
I tried to speak back to her but instead of words an embarrassing sob wrenched from my throat. I hadn’t known what to expect from her. She had always been standoffish to me. She hadn’t appreciated how serious Sam and I had gotten my sophomore year, especially when he started talking about giving up his basketball scholarship to stay with me.
After the accident she had been apologetic because Sam was technically at fault for driving under the influence and I hadn’t tested positive for alcohol in my blood at all. But she had also been a basket case and I had my own breakdown to work through.
Her grip on my arms tightened and I cringed, waiting for her to… I didn’t know, hit me, scream at me, or shake me? But she didn’t do any of those things. She burst into tears right along with me and yanked me into a tight hug.
I wrapped my arms around her, sharing her loss and heartache. My feelings for her son were one-one-hundredth of what I felt for Ryder, but I had felt something for Sam. Something that changed me and made me see the world beyond my own selfishness. Sam had meant something to me once upon a time and ever since the accident I felt like I’d lost the ability to stand on my own.
He was a real friend. And he had protected me, stood by me and cared about me during a time when nobody else had done those things. His feelings for me might not have been real, but what I felt for him was absolutely authentic.
“It’s so good to see you, Ivy,” Linda cried into my shoulder. “I’ve wanted to call you so many times… reach out in some way. I just… I just didn’t know how.”
“You should have,” I told her even though I didn’t know if I believed my own words. “I would have loved to hear from you.”
Panic flickered in my peripheral and darkness clawed at my neck.
I did this to her. I destroyed her life. Her son’s life. Her family.
I cried harder.
Ryder stood awkwardly off to the side. He probably thought I’d really lost it now.
“I heard that you had to go to treatment,” she sobbed. “And I’ve just been so worried about you. I didn’t know what I would do if you didn’t get better. But then here you are! And you look so happy!”
Ok, this woman was going to kill me with all her sympathy for me. It should be the other way around! “I’m so sorry, Linda,” I confessed in a desperate plea for forgiveness. “I’m so, so sorry. Sam deserved so much more! That shouldn’t have happened to him.” I felt choked by guilt, suffocated by it. How could she see me like this? With Ryder, holding his hand and living my life in a normal-looking way and not hate me?
But here she stood… comforting me!
I didn’t deserve her grace and compassion.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she cooed. She pulled back so she could look in my puffy, mascara-rimmed eyes. “What happened to Sam was an accident. I know as well as you do what a great kid he was. But he made stupid choices. And you can’t blame yourself for that. I can’t even blame Sam for it. He was seventeen. Seventeen year olds make dumb decisions every day. His just cost him more than most.”
I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “How is he?”
She mimicked my snot-wiping and looked off to the side. “Some days are better than others. Last week he seemed more lucid than this week. He tried harder maybe. I don’t know; it’s hard to tell with him. He hasn’t quite coped with all this. He’s all there, you know? His brain is still as sharp as ever. But his body won’t cooperate and that’s the hardest for him to deal with.”
“It’s the hardest for all of us to deal with,” I whispered. She held my gaze and reflected the intense pain that I felt. Sam, a guy who was once an enviable recruit by several division one schools… Sam, the basketball star of Central high… the captain that led his team to win State three years in a row… the funniest, sweetest guy I had ever met until Ryder. Sam, the boy who fell so deeply in love with me that he restarted a thousand-year-old curse and brought Greek mythology back to life. That boy now lived in his own personal hell. A brain that still worked and a body that couldn’t… there could be no greater punishment for someone like him, someone who had fallen for the wrong girl and couldn’t give her up.
“He misses you, Ivy.” Her words were individual knives that pierced through my chest. “He can’t say as much, but I know that he does. I see it on his face. He’s my baby, I know what he wants.”
“I’ve wanted to come see him.” I started crying again. “But I was in such a bad place after… after it happened. And then I was sent away. Since I’ve been back, I just… I think about him all the time, but I didn’t know what you would think of me just walking back in there… I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”
“Ivy,” she gasped and pulled me back into a hug. She rocked me side-to-side and the gesture felt so adoringly maternal that I just wrapped my arms around her and let her comfort me. “We want you there. We want you part of Sam’s life. Obviously, we know you’re busy and have a life of your own. But if you could make time for him… he would just… he would love to see you.”
I nodded enthusiastically. “Yes,” I told her. “I would love to see him, too.”
She kissed me on the cheek and stood up straight. We both swiped at our fresh tears, laughing at ourselves. She rattled off his visiting hours and which days were typically his best ones and then she gasped as she looked down at her watch. “I need to go! I have a meeting upstairs with my lawyer.”
I itched to know if her lawyer was Mallory Hunter, but I decided it was better not to make that connection with anyone else.
“I’ll see you soon, then,” I promised her. “I’ll be by to see him very soon.”
She gave me one more kiss on the cheek and then waved goodbye as she hurried for the woman’s restroom. I probably should have followed her, but now more than ever, I wanted out of this building.
I linked my arm with Ryder’s and lay my head on his shoulder. Sighing with a mixture of grief and contentment, I tugged him toward the exit.
“I’m going to make an educated guess that was Sam Evan’s mom,” he said softly as we walked in the mid-morning heat towards his Bronco.
“You would be right,” I confirmed. “I haven’t seen her since the night of the accident. She wasn’t always so nice to me.”
“She blamed you for Sam?” he guessed.
“Yes. I don’t know what happened to her to make her change her mind.” Staring at the ground, I admitted, “She should blame me.”
Ryder ignored me. “Are you really going to go see him?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “I don’t know what’s been holding me back. I should have gone to go see him a long time ago. I’ve been selfish.”
He paused near the hood of his car and wrapped me in a warm hug. “Do you want some moral support? I’ll go with if you want. I’ll be there if you need me.”
Some of the acute pain in my chest eased at his words and I rubbed my nose over his chest where his heart beat beneath. “I need you,” I told him.
“Then I’ll be here as long as you’ll let me stay,” he promised in return.
The context of the conversation was Sam… but the gravity of his words promised something even greater than that.
Something I would hold onto for the rest of my life and let it hold me, keep me safe and fill in all my broken pieces with a light that was stronger than me.
I would let him stay forever. I would always let him stay.
Chapter Thirteen
My mom texted once we were in Ryder’s car and told me I had to come home. Since I had just done the single most rebellious thing of my life not a half hour ago, I decided it was better not to draw attention to my morning activities.
Ryder wasn’t happy about taking me home, but really, he always hated leaving me there. And I couldn’t blame him.
We said goodbye and I promised to call him later. I ignored, or tried very hard to ignore, the look in his eyes that pierced through me whenever w
e made that perfect eye contact. Our gazes would slide around the spaces between us, trying to fight it, fight the pull that drew us together so undeniably. And then we would connect and it would be the explosion of perfect symmetry and alignment.
It was like we would hit this place and I would feel him all the way to the center of my chest, the depths of my soul, the infinite, metaphysical places and pieces of me. And he would hold me there in that moment and push every single emotion he felt for me in a rush of feelings and irrevocable convictions and beliefs. There were too many to name; they were too deep to assign simple words to, too life-changing to ignore.
I would hover in that place, too afraid to stay, too needy to leave. And he would let me. He would keep me there and give me everything I needed, wanted, hoped for and he would promise me that everything would be okay.
I would pull away and believe him.
But with every connection it would cost me; he would take just a little bit more of my black heart and keep it for himself. With every time he showed me his own soul, he would collect a part of mine. Every single time our gazes clashed together and entered that almost spiritual place, I fell for him in ways I couldn’t let myself.
I was leaving him.
Maybe as soon as three weeks, I was leaving him.
I had to let him go.
When I walked upstairs my mother was nursing a Bloody Mary, her hangover cure- figure that one out- and waiting for me. She looked… exhausted.
And sad.
“Where have you been?” she demanded as soon as I walked in the door.
“I went for breakfast with some friends.” It was a lie, but I could hardly feel guilty about it.
I couldn’t tell if she believed me or not; more like it didn’t matter to her whether she thought I was lying. The question now seemed a force of habit instead of genuine curiosity. She cupped her glass of tomato juice and vodka and stared out our big windows overlooking downtown Omaha.
The Fall (The Siren Series) Page 13