I dressed in jeans and threw a tank top and my favorite cashmere cardigan on. I took the time to blow dry my hair and even put on a dusting of makeup. I wasn't getting ready for Carter so much as I was trying to boost my own confidence to talk to him. I felt ashamed for being a coward and leaving him without an explanation on Thursday. I had done the passive-aggressive thing by turning and leaving without letting him explain and it hadn't resolved anything. I brushed lip gloss on my lips in front of the mirror, took a deep breath and then headed for my phone. I searched through the recent calls and texts one more time to make sure he hadn't called me in the time since Friday morning and then dialed his number.
He didn't answer. I bit my lip wondering if I should leave a message. I decided against it. I didn't even know if I should bother calling again. He would see my name in the recent calls list on his phone. Should I bother texting? I ran out of my room to find Cate and get her advice.
I found her cross-legged on the couch with her tablet and a cup of coffee. Her eyes widened in surprise to see me dressed and with makeup on as I had hardly left my room all weekend.
"What's up?" She smiled brightly. I arched an eyebrow at her.
"What are you doing?" I plopped down next to her.
"Just checking emails." Cate smiled.
"I tried to call Carter," I blurted. Cate coughed on the sip of coffee she'd just taken.
"Why?" Cate's voice was shrill.
"What do you mean why? To give him a chance to tell me his side of the story. To apologize for being a passive-aggressive bitch."
"Right. Did he call or anything?"
"No, not since Friday. What's up Cate? You're being weird." I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Well..." She tapped her nails on the back of her tablet. "When you started hanging out with Carter, I started doing some research. I set up a Google alert for him, so every day I get an email if he's made the news, and he does, a lot."
"Kind of stalker-y," I smiled at her.
"Well..." she chewed on her bottom lip.
"For fuck sakes, Cate. What did you find?" I snatched the tablet from her hands. A picture of Carter with his arm around Nikki was splashed across the screen. She was wearing a low cut dress and a beaming smile. Carter looked dangerously sexy as always.
"When is this from?" I glanced up in her eyes. She sat speechless staring at me. "Cate, when is it from?" I scrolled up the page and my eyes landed on the date of the article.
Last night.
Carter had been with Nikki last night.
Tears immediately sprung to my eyes. So that's why he hadn't called, because he'd been filling his time with Nikki. I guess I hadn't meant anything more to him.
I handed the tablet back to Cate and headed back to my room without a word.
I woke up a few hours later to the sound of my phone screaming in my ear. My eyes were puffy and my throat was raw from crying. I felt like I had a hangover even though I hadn't drank anything. I scrambled with my phone, just wanting the sound to quit. I held it to my ear and croaked out a raspy hello.
"Eva," Carter whispered over the speaker. I shot straight up in bed. The picture of him and Nikki together flooded my brain. I did not want to answer this call. I sat silently, my heart thudding in my chest.
"Eva?" Carter's voice rose.
"I'm here, " I whispered.
"You called?" His voice was cold. My breath caught in my throat. He didn't want to talk. He was only calling me because I had called him.
"By mistake. I hit your name by mistake." I lied because I didn't know what else to say.
"Oh," his voice trailed off. I heard him sigh on the other end. "I wish I would have known you were going to fuck and run, Eva. Could have saved us both a lot of trouble."
The air whooshed out of my lungs. My head swirled in confusion. He thought I had used him? Was he joking? "It wasn't like that, Carter."
"Could have fooled me. You seem to make a habit of fucking and then walking away without looking back." Carter had gone for the low blow.
"No," my voice came out in a choked whisper.
"Bye, Evangeline." And with that Carter hung up on me. My heart dropped to my stomach. I was profoundly hurt and wildly angry. How could he think that I was the type of girl that would use him? If he wanted to leave, I would survive, but I couldn't let him take the cowardly way out thinking it was my fault; that I'd been the one using him.
Before I could think twice I grabbed my purse and stomped out of the apartment and hailed a cab to take me to Beacon Street and Carter Morgan.
Six
The cab pulled up in front of his house and I took a deep breath. I hadn't thought this through at all; what if Nikki was still in there with him? What if he wasn't even home? The cab driver arched an eyebrow at me in the rearview mirror. I handed him cash and then stepped out into the cold night. Snowflakes drifted down around the street lamps and I had half a mind to turn around and walk home. I could cut through the garden and be home in ten minutes. I looked back at Carter's door and realized I couldn’t walk away having him think I had mistreated him.
I strode up the steps and pounded on his front door. Nothing. I pounded again louder. I stood chewing my lip wondering what to do now. He wasn't even home; and then I heard a loud crash coming from inside the house. What was going on? What if there was an intruder? Or, what if Nikki was in there with him? My stomach twisted in knots at that thought. But I couldn't walk away again. If I did I would never have the courage to come back.
I knocked again and waited. Then I tentatively tried the knob, fully expecting it to be locked. The door opened easily. I cautiously stepped into the foyer, ready to dart out if I heard Nikki’s voice from anywhere in the house. I stepped further into the hall. I passed the kitchen and saw clothes strewn over the island and bar stools.
Carter's jacket and tie from last night.
My heart thudded in my chest. I took a few more steps and found a side table knocked over with a broken vase and Carter's discarded dress shirt on the floor.
Oh God, Nikki was here. He'd brought her home last night, and here were his clothes all over the floor, torn off in the throes of passion. Just like he'd done to me the first night we were together.
My insides wrenched at the thought that if I took another step I might find a bra and panties discarded too.
I turned to beeline for the front door when a heavy hand grabbed my arm. I spun around to find Carter, eyes blazing at me. He was wearing a pair of jeans and nothing else. I may have been angry at him, but he still made my blood hum with arousal. I stared into his eyes and bit my lip. Now that I was here, face to face with him, I had no idea what to say.
"Why are you here?" Carter ground threw clenched teeth. It was then that I noticed in his other hand he held a bottle of expensive whiskey. Carter was drunk. Now it made sense; the angry texts Thursday night, his cold manner on the phone earlier today. He'd been drinking all weekend.
"I wanted to see you." Tears sprung to my eyes. My world felt so out of control right now. My emotions were all over the map. "Is Nikki here?" I peered around his hard body.
"No, why would she be here?" He narrowed his eyes at me.
"Last night. I saw… I thought…" my voice trailed off as I looked down at the marble floor. Carter dropped my arm and turned on his heel and headed back for the living room. He plopped down on the couch with his feet on the coffee table and took another long draw out of the bottle. I stood frozen in place, wondering what to do.
"Here to fuck and run?" Carter's eyes burned into mine and then a lazy smile spread across his face, "'Cause I'd probably be interested." I glared at him and stomped to the couch. Now I remembered why I'd came.
"No." I shoved his feet off of the coffee table and crossed my arms, glaring right back at him. Carter's eyebrows shot up in surprise and whiskey splashed out of the bottle and on to the leather couch. He recovered and looked me in the eye.
"That's too bad, Eva. You were the best fuck I've ever had, and I'
ve had a lot." He had a cool gleam in his eye. Fire shot through my veins and I clenched my fists in anger. Carter knew exactly what he was doing to me and a slow, lazy grin spread across his face. My eyes flashed with rage and my hand came up and made contact with his stubbled cheek before I could even think to stop myself.
Carter's eyes widened in surprise before he slammed the bottle of whiskey on the glass table so hard I thought it would shatter. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into his lap to straddle him. His fingers dug into the flesh of my thighs so hard I knew it would leave bruises. His eyes flashed dangerously before he twisted one hand into my hair tightly and pulled my lips to his. Lust spiked through my body and suddenly my arms wrapped around his neck and held him to me as I kissed him fully. Our tongues twisted together roughly and my core pressed into his hardened arousal.
I felt consumed by him in that moment, fully. I was wrapped around Carter, body and soul. Suddenly the pain and anger I'd felt the past few days fell away and my heart was soothed just having him in my arms again. Carter held my body so tightly to his it felt like he was trying to consume me, trying to meld us into one. I leaned back and lifted my shirt over my shoulders, then pressed my lips into his again. I ran my fingers through his hair, which looked like he'd ran his own fingers through it in frustration a thousand times in the last 24 hours. Carter began kissing along the curve of my neck and down my shoulder, sliding the strap of my bra down my arm. His fingers worked the other strap down and I arched my head back, giving him access to my body. He felt so good; he felt so warm, so right, but he'd hurt me. The last few days came crashing back into my brain.
Suddenly I couldn't think beyond the pain I’d felt, the pain he'd left me in. And the fact that he hadn't even called since Friday. My heart had ached for him all weekend, and then broken into a thousand pieces when I saw the picture of him with Nikki.
"Wait, Carter. Stop." I pushed his chest back from me and pulled away. I stood and searched for my shirt on the floor. I slid it over my head and looked into his eyes. They flashed in anger and I swore in that moment I didn't know what he would say. I knew he would never hurt me physically, but emotionally, he could be brutal. I licked my swollen lips and his eyes flashed to them like a cat watching a mouse. My breathing hitched and the sparks flicked between us. Passionate, anger-fueled sparks.
"You'll be leaving then." He cocked his head to one side and picked up the bottle of whiskey again.
I shook my head, confused. Did I fuck and run on him? Had I hurt him as much as he'd hurt me? My stomach clenched in pain at the thought.
"I didn't mean it Carter, it's just… you hurt me," I trailed off.
"You’re not supposed to run, Eva. You didn't even give me a chance," he gritted through his teeth.
"You didn't try very hard to get in touch with me." I spat at him.
"I did. I called and called. I texted. When you didn't answer I went to your house but Cate wouldn't let me in. She threatened to rip my balls off and shove them down my throat. She said she'd call the police if I came back. I fucking tried, Eva. I didn't even know why you were mad at me."
"You came over?"
"Yes. And I waited outside. I thought if Cate wouldn't let me in I could wait until you left. But you never left."
"I told Cate I didn't want to see you." My mind tried to process what he'd said. Why hadn't Cate told me that he'd come over? "I was so pissed. I saw her and I couldn't think straight. All I could think was that you'd…" I sucked in a sharp breath, remembering what I'd seen at The Hancock that day.
"What are you talking about?" A dark look crossed his eyes.
"Don't fuck with me, Carter. I saw Nikki leaving your office." I glared at him.
"Fuck." He ran a hand through his hair.
"That's certainly what it looked like to me," I shot at him.
"That's not what happened." His jaw clenched.
"Really? Why else would she be leaving your office in a slutty dress with rumpled sex hair?" Carter's eyes widened in surprise and then flashed with amusement.
"Jealous, Evangeline?" Carter's eyes danced. I glared at him and swiped for my bag on the floor to leave.
"Wait, I won't lie. She wanted to." Carter stood and his hand reached out for me and then paused. I crossed my arms and arched an eyebrow at him. "She came expecting something and she didn't get it, Evangeline. I had Parker take her home. I told you, we weren't even that serious to begin with. Nikki only keeps people around who can benefit her in some way, and hanging on my arm at industry events kept her in the press."
I lowered my eyes to the ground, processing what he was saying.
"You need to level with me, Carter. If I'm just some girl you dress up to look pretty on your arm, some girl you fuck, you need to let me go. I can't be that."
"Eva, no." His eyes flashed with a look of shock and pain. "Is that how you think I treat you?"
I averted my eyes from his and clenched my teeth together, willing the tears not to fall from my eyes.
"That's not what this is. Not to me. You're.... I... No one matters before you. Just you and me." He put his hands on my shoulders and ducked his head to look me in the eye. He smoothed the hair off of my face tenderly and I locked eyes with him for a few beats.
"I don't like her," I whispered.
"Me either." Carter wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a tight hug.
"All I could think about was you and her in your office, like we'd… and then I saw the picture of you together last night…" a sob escaped my throat.
"Christ." He ran a hand through his hair. "Last night was a last minute thing. When Aspen didn't happen… I thought going would distract me from you… I didn't want to see her, she was just there. When a photographer came over she used it to her advantage and posed. Right after they took the picture I walked away."
I slumped down on the couch, letting his words sink in.
"I'm sorry, Eva." He pulled me into his lap and rubbed my back.
"I missed you so much." A lump formed in the back of my throat and I was powerless to hold it in any longer. The tears gushed out of my eyes and I released all of the turmoil that had been simmering the past week.
"I don't think it's supposed to be this hard, Carter."
"What do you mean?"
"You and me. I've been so messed up. If it was right, I don't think it would be this hard." I tucked my head into his neck.
"No, Eva. No, I think it's this hard right now because it is right. I've never felt this way about anyone before. It was so easy before because I turned my feelings off, but with you, I can't. I've never met anyone like you. You're beautiful and smart and stubborn. I've never been so drawn to anyone in my life. It's hard because we're breaking down walls and once they're down, it will be so worth it." Carter held my face in his hands and swiped away my tears with the pads of his thumbs. I nodded my head and sniffed.
"Stay tonight, ok? Nothing physical, just you and me. I don't want to let you go, Eva."
I nodded again and Carter picked me up and carried me up the stairs and into his bedroom. I felt emotionally exhausted and curled up under the covers, wrapping my arms and legs around Carter's body. He slung an arm over me and traced tiny circles along my back through my shirt. He inhaled deeply into my hair and sighed.
"Don't leave again, Eva," he whispered softly. I sighed and fell into the best sleep I’d had in three nights.
Seven
The alarm clock rang early the next morning and I dug my head further into the blankets, willing the shrilling noise to stop. And then it did and I realized that I’d slept at Carter's last night and his warm body was still next to mine.
"Wake up, sleepy." Carter rubbed up and down my arm. I groaned and tucked closer into him, not wanting to break the perfect, peaceful moment. I inhaled his freshwater scent and smiled. My fingers tickled along his lower abdomen and brushed along the hard planes of his stomach.
"Eva," he groaned. "As much as I would like to show you how excited I am to wake
up with you in the morning, I’ve got to get to work."
"What time is it?" My fingertips teased below the waistband of his pajama pants.
"7:30." His warm hand covered mine and dragged it back up his chest and away from where it had been headed.
"What?" I shrieked and jumped out of bed. "I’ve got to go." I ran into his bathroom.
"Eva, you work from home." Carter stood and watched me scramble around his bedroom looking for my shoes with a hint of amusement in his eyes.
"I’ve got a conference call at 8."
"Do it from here." He wrapped his arms around me and snuggled.
"I can't." I groaned at the delicious smell of his skin. "My laptop, my notes, I have to go home."
"Ok. Meet me for lunch?"
I quirked an eyebrow at him, remembering what had happened the last time we were supposed to have lunch.
"I’ll pick you up at noon." He slapped me on the bottom as I hustled out his bedroom door.
"And where were you last night?" Cate arched an eyebrow at me from the couch when I stepped out of my room a few hours later. I flopped down onto the couch next to her with a smile.
"Carter's" I yawned. Cate put her tablet down and looked me square in the eye.
"You need to spill."
"First, why didn't you tell me that he came over looking for me?"
"You said you didn't want to see him. You said he bulldozed you. I was playing bodyguard." She smiled proudly.
"Well, you should have told me he came over."
"You said you needed time, and I was giving you that. You needed time to get Carter out of your system so you could think clearly."
I couldn't argue with her there. Maybe I wished she had told me, but her intentions had been good.
Whiskey and Lace Page 4