"What's wrong, Evangeline?" Carter said with a hint of exasperation.
"Who did that stuff belong to?" My eyes darted to his.
"Back to this?" he frowned. "A friend, an old friend. Someone who hasn't been to my office in a long time, Evangeline. I'll get rid of all of it." His eyes implored me to drop the subject.
"Was it Madeleine's?" I took another sip of my wine to avoid his eyes.
"Yes." Carter shuffled in his seat uncomfortably.
"Why did Madeleine keep things at your office?"
"We were together at one time." Carter held me with a steady gaze.
"Another fuck buddy?"
"No, Madeleine and I were engaged," Carter deadpanned. The air left my lungs in an instant. What? I was prepared to wrap my mind around the fact that Carter was a former womanizer, playboy, modelizer, but he had been engaged? Somehow in the back of my mind it had been easier for me to accept his former life when I thought he didn't care for them; that they meant nothing. But at least one of them had.
I thought back to that night at the ball and what Madeleine had said to me.
He isn't someone you build your dreams on.
What happened between them that made her say that? What had he done to her? Suddenly her cold demeanor and vicious attitude made sense; she was jealous, she did have a claim on him. She had his heart, at least she had at one time. And may have been the only one to have ever done so.
My breathing was shallow and I thought I may be on the verge of an panic attack.
"Are you still friends with her?" I set my glass down and stared at him.
"Yes, but we broke things off a long time ago."
"You still see her?" My heart was thudding so loud in my ears I could hardly hear my own thoughts.
"Yes, we work together on some business things. She's an investor, it's sort of unavoidable that I see her." I bit down so hard on my bottom lip I thought it might bleed.
"I need to go to the bathroom."
"Eva." Carter raised his voice in warning as I stood and rushed to the restroom. When I got there I slammed the door, locked it and plopped myself down on the plush settee. Tears sprang to my eyes as I tried tugging the dress down over my thighs.
"Evangeline." Carter's voice boomed through the door as he pounded with his fist. I sat silently and continued to cry. "Evangeline, open the fucking door." He was pounding relentlessly.
"Go away, Carter," I whispered through sobs.
"Unlock the door or I swear I will break it down," he growled. I took a few deep breaths willing myself to calm down. I walked to the door and unlocked it. He burst through like a bear with an unpredictable look of anger on his face. I sat back down on the settee and waited for him to say something.
"What the fuck is the problem, Evangeline?" I continued to ignore him. "So I was engaged a long time ago, that's all over," he pleaded with me in a gruff voice.
"The problem isn't that you were engaged," I whispered through clenched teeth. "The problem is that you still see her; you're still friends with her." I was grinding my teeth in anger.
"I have to, she's a part of my company. And we're friends, she's always been there for me." Carter's voice softened.
"I don't care. Your fucked up past keeps coming up to bite me, and you didn't even tell me she was your fiancé after she sharpened her claws on me that night at the ball," I spit out angrily.
"I’m sorry, I should have told you. But she means nothing to me; nothing more than a friend. I hardly see her anymore, she's dating someone else, we've both moved on. I've moved on with you." He dropped to his knees and lifted my chin to look him in the eye.
"So I’m supposed to accept that Madeleine is in your life, but you go all caveman about Sawyer?" I glared at him. His teeth clenched in anger.
"It's not the same, Evangeline. He still wants you." His eyes flashed angry fire at me.
"It is the same. You were engaged to her, Carter. You used to fuck her in your office, and I think she still has something for you." My eyes flashed at him.
"No, we've both moved on. She has someone else, and I have you." The pad of his thumb wiped a tear from my cheek tenderly.
"I’m telling you she still has feelings for you. The things she said that night at the ball…" I looked away from him.
"Well, I don't have feelings for her. You're it for me. And Sawyer had his hands all over you that night at the club. You're mine, Evangeline." He pulled me into his arms and spun me around to face the mirrors with his chest against my back. "I don't want some guys hands all over you. See this?" He pulled my hair back from my neck to reveal the bruise he'd left on me. "This is my mark on you, the one that says you're mine." He held my waist firmly to him and I could feel his length hard against my bottom. I knew I should be angry at his neanderthal ramblings, and I was, but I was mad with lust for him too. I squirmed against him and my eyes flicked to meet his in the reflection of the mirror.
He spun me around in an instant and pulled my lips to his in a fierce kiss. He lifted the short dress up over my hips and pushed his palm into my aching center. He rubbed in rough circles and pinched my sensitive bundle of nerves and I groaned into his mouth. He lifted me by the ass up onto the counter and undid his button and zipper quickly before shoving into me roughly.
He ground into me, holding one hand on the counter for leverage, and another tightly around my neck to hold my head in place as he kissed and nipped.
"I’m so out of control for you, Evangeline. You make me so mad," he ground between his teeth as he pounded into me. I arched my back and thrust my hips to meet his rhythm just as frantically.
"You're mine. I don't want anyone's hands on you, only mine."
"Yes," I panted.
"Say, it. Say you are fucking mine." Sweat glistened on his brow and I wrapped my fingers into the hair at the back of his neck.
"I’m yours, Carter."
"Forever. You're mine forever." He pounded harder. It felt like he was punishing me; reminding me that I was only his.
"Yes," I panted and Carter groaned and then pulsed within me as I arched and fell over the cliff in frantic pleasure. My body was quivering in passion and exertion; buzzing with erotic bliss. Carter leaned over my body and panted as his sweat-dampened hair tickled my forehead.
"Don't leave. I love you, Evangeline." My heart stopped and my fingers tightened around his shoulders. I sat silently, I couldn’t say a word. Carter had just given me a rough and dirty fuck in the bathroom of one of Boston’s most luxurious restaurants and now he was telling me he loved me?
He continued to pant and didn't seem to notice that I hadn't answered him. I held his body tight to mine as my mind buzzed in anxiety. Did I love Carter? Could we love each other? I didn't even know if we were good for each other.
I scooted away from him on the vanity to break the connection. There was too much to consider, and I needed to not be touching his delicious body when I considered it. He looked up into my eyes with a slow smile and kissed me tenderly on the lips. I smiled back to reassure him, then quietly hopped down from the counter and straightened my dress. Carter zipped his pants back up as I straightened myself out in the mirror to make it look like I hadn’t just been fucked within an inch of my life in the bathroom.
"Ready?" He smiled, wrapped an arm around my waist, and kissed my hair. I watched his tender gesture in the mirror and my anxiety doubled.
Twelve
"Home. Thanks, Parker." Carter and I ducked into the back of the Bentley.
"No, I need to go to my place." I looked at Carter. His eyes flashed in hurt and confusion. "Nothing bad, I just need to go home, I’ve been gone all week." I touched my hand to the stubble along his jaw with a reassuring smile. What I really needed to do was get away from Carter. We'd enjoyed our meal as if nothing had happened, but in my mind everything had happened.
Carter had been engaged to Madeleine.
Carter still saw Madeleine.
Carter fucked me in a restaurant bathroom and th
en told me he loved me.
I needed distance because he had just turned my world upside down.
"Are you sure?" Carter whispered.
"Yes." I nodded. If I said anything more I was afraid my voice would crack and the levees would burst.
"Miss Austin will be going home tonight, Parker," Carter announced through the intercom. He held my hand tightly the entire way back to my apartment, as if he held me tight enough it would cement the status of his claim on me. The car pulled up outside the townhouse and Parker jumped out to unload my luggage from earlier. So much had happened that it felt like ages ago that I'd flown in from New York. He carried my bags up to my apartment, and Carter handed me the La Perla bag.
"Don't forget your panties." A small smirk played across his mouth. That smirk could melt my panties; that smirk was the reason I was standing there without panties on. My heart warred with my mind to invite him up.
"Thanks." I smiled up at him. Carter pulled me in for a soft kiss on the lips.
"Thank you for a wonderful dinner, Evangeline," Carter whispered. I nodded and smiled again before turning and walking into the building.
"Hey, how was New York?" Cate gave me a warm smile when I walked into our apartment.
"It was tiring." I dropped my purse and the La Perla bag on the floor.
"Great dress. What's wrong?" Cate set her tablet down and made her way over to me. I heaved a huge sigh. It was beyond comforting to see her. I wrapped her in my arms and sobbed on her shoulder.
"God Eva, what happened?" She rubbed my back. I continued to sob on her shoulder, unable to even answer her.
"I don't know." I pulled away and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "I don't know what happened. Carter followed me to New York, which was a surprise. He did this weird, staking his claim thing on me with my parents, but that wasn't the big deal. We had this amazing, romantic few days at his apartment. And then when I flew in earlier, I went to his office…" my sobs cut me off again.
"Just breathe, Eva, breathe. If he hurt you I will cut off his balls. Seriously,"
"No, no. It was great. So perfect. And he gave me this dress." I smoothed my hands over the fabric. "We got ready to go out to dinner, and then I found stuff."
"What do you mean stuff?"
"In his bathroom. Girl stuff. Perfume." My heart raced at the memory. Cate narrowed her eyes at me, waiting for further explanation.
"And not even that was the problem. He explained; I was fine-ish." I gave a weak smile. "But when we were at dinner he told me he was engaged to Madeleine. Engaged, after the things she said to me at the ball, he never told me. And after the huge fight we had about Sawyer. Forbidding me from seeing him, and here Madeleine is his ex-fiancé. And they're still friends. She fucking works with him."
"Well, that's not terrible, Eva. You can get past that." Cate rubbed my arm reassuringly.
"Maybe, but when I got upset and went to the bathroom in the restaurant he barged in and, God I don't even know what happened. One minute he was hollering, I was hollering, and then we were fucking, and then…"
"Wait, you fucked in the bathroom?" Cate's eyes widened in surprise. I nodded with a small sob.
"He told me he loved me, Cate, right after this wild, rough fuck; after we'd been hollering, and I was crying, he told me he loved me." I slouched down onto the bar stool.
"Jesus Christ, Eva." Cate sat next to me. "Do you love him?"
"What?" My head shot up to her. "I don't know. God it's been two weeks. I don't know," my voice trailed off.
"I knew he loved you." Cate smiled.
"What? What do you mean?" I glared at her.
"I just knew. I could tell the way he acted with you. Women chase Carter Morgan, he doesn't chase them. I've been in Boston a few years now; I’ve heard much about Carter Morgan, especially from girls sobbing in bathroom stalls at clubs, but that's besides the point. He was different with you, Eva." She smoothed my hair. "You love him too."
My eyes shot to hers and held them for a moment. "We're not good for each other, Cate. Really, we're not. We're so fucked up together. One minute it's the best, and the next it's the worst." I was chewing on my bottom lip again.
"That's just how you are. The good times make it so worth the rough times though, don't they?" I met Cate's eyes and gave a small nod.
"Carter is worth it. The way you feel when you're with him is worth it." She smiled again. "Are you going to be ok?"
"Yea, I just need to process. I’m going to take a shower, get out of this dress." I pulled the fabric further down on my thighs with a wiggle. Cate gave me a wide smile and a tight hug when I stood.
"I love you, Cate." I squeezed her.
"Love you too." She smoothed her hand down my hair.
I stepped out of the shower and threw on a pair of pajama pants and my UMASS sweatshirt. I snuggled into the soft fabric and dropped myself on the bed, curling up with one of my pillows. My mind was reeling. He had dropped me off less than an hour ago and I already felt a little better after talking to Cate and having a hot shower. I just wanted to block out the last few hours and sleep, and then wake up tomorrow with a hopefully fresh perspective.
I heard Cate talking and glanced at the clock. After ten already, maybe she was on the phone. Just then Carter burst through the door of my room. His hair was wild and he had a frantic look in his eyes.
I bolted up in bed, "What's wrong?"
"Eva." He dropped to his knees at the edge of my bed and grasped my hips with both of his palms. He laid his head in my lap and I ran my fingers through his hair.
"I knew something was wrong when I left. I knew we weren't right. I tried to go home. I tried to workout, get work done, go to bed. My bed sheets feel empty when you're not there. Your heartbeat helps me sleep. Your breath soothes my soul. I know you're mad, but, please don't leave. Don't run on me Eva, I love you, more than I knew I could ever love anyone. When we're apart I think of nothing but you. You're my everything."
I took slow deep breaths and watched Carter’s beautiful head in my lap. I ran my hand down his strong neck to his upper back and circled my fingertips on top of the muscles. For so long I had thought he consumed me; that it only went one way; that he would leave me at any moment once he realized I didn't fit into his world.
And yet here he was.
My hands moved to his face and I held his head in my palms. "Hey, look at me."
His head remained bent.
"Look at me, Carter." I forced him to lift his head and look me in the eye. "You consume me. I've got it so deep I can barely even breathe. When we're together you take my breath away and when we're apart I'm lost. I won't run again, I promise. What can I say to make you believe me?"
Carter's fiery gaze held mine with an intensity that only he could muster. "Marry me. Go to bed with me every night, and wake up with me every morning for the rest of my life."
The air left my lungs.
A Note from the Author
Thanks to my quick, thorough, and brutally honest beta readers: Terri Thomas, Julie Sumner, and Karen Lawson. Whiskey and Lace is a much better book thanks to your input.
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Look for the third and final installment of the Lace Series in February 2013.
Whiskey and Lace Page 7