Jaisen and Lynette Fuson. Your experience in raising teens and your prompting to explore these topics were huge catalysts in the formation of this book. We are grateful to and for you!
Dr. Jay Giedd, who so graciously shared his wisdom (and lemon bars!) with us.
Dr. Daniel Amen, without whom neither of us would understand neuroscience in the slightest. Your personal and professional investment in us has been a tremendous gift from God.
Dr. Earl Henslin, for both walking with us through the raging storms of life and introducing us to an integrated approach to healing the body, mind, and spirit.
Joshua Becker, whose story adds a great deal to this book.
Rebekah Guzman, our beloved editor and friend. There is no one with whom we’d rather work!
Wendy Wetzel, for her incredibly keen editing skills.
Jeramy would like to thank . . .
Roger Lino. Somehow we made it out of our teen years in Rodeo alive. You’re a great friend and confidante. Bunk dope!
Brian Aaby. From the day we met, your zeal for God and passion for ministry have spurred me on to greater things for the kingdom.
Dave Hall (Samurai Dave), who encouraged me in the writing and editing process on long flights to Beijing.
The Wednesday Night Guys’ Group: Phil Yphantides, Scott Smith, Marcel deNeve, Michael deNeve, and Mitchell deNeve, for faithfully supporting me through the highest highs and lowest lows of my life.
Jerusha would like to thank . . .
Cameron Germann, with whom I never have enough time. Our conversations—whether while hiking or via Skype—always bless and stretch me.
Megan Donovan, for reading chapters and commenting with grace and thoughtfulness. You are a treasure, dear friend.
Jenn Witmondt, who enthusiastically dialogued with me about these issues (on countless occasions!) and whose priceless friendship sharpens me.
Lorraine Pintus. I admire you so much, dear friend. Thank you for spurring me on as a writer and woman of God.
Mary Lockrem, whose invitation to teach a Bible study class on teenage girls first stirred these ideas in me. Still wish I could hire you as my publicist, my friend!
Notes
Introduction
1. Interview with Dr. Jay Giedd, “Inside the Teenage Brain: The Teen Brain Is a Work in Progress,” Frontline, PBS, produced by Sarah Spinks, 2002, accessed September 23, 2015, at http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/interviews/giedd.html.
Chapter 1 You Don’t Understand
1. Paul David Tripp, Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, 2d ed. (Phillipsburg, NJ: P & R Publishing, 2001), 30. Thoughts in the following paragraphs were developed in response to his writing.
2. Michael Bradley, Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy! (Gig Harbor, WA: Harbor Press, 2002), 112.
3. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk (New York: Harper Collins, 2005), xvi.
Chapter 2 Leave Me Alone
1. Sheryl Feinstein, Inside the Teenage Brain: Parenting a Work in Progress (Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield Education, 2009), 8.
2. Jim Burns, Teenology (Grand Rapids: Bethany House, 2011), 19.
3. See Daniel Siegel, Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain (New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2013), 33–34.
4. Laurence Steinberg, Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence (New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2014), 133.
5. Bradley, Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!, 201.
6. John Santrock, Adolescence, 8th ed. (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2001), 28–29.
7. Steinberg, Age of Opportunity, 135.
Chapter 3 But Why?
1. Mark Oestreicher, A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Teenage Brains (Loveland, CO: Simply Youth Ministry/Group, 2012), 37.
2. Ibid., 39.
3. Adapted from James Marcia, “Life Transitions and Stress in the Context of Psychosocial Development,” in T. W. Miller (ed.), Handbook of Stressful Transitions Across the Lifespan (New York: Springer, 2010), 22.
4. Ric Garland, quoted in ibid., 22.
5. Oestreicher, A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Teenage Brains, 45.
Chapter 4 I’m So Bored
1. For an excellent review of the scientific evidence and research in this field, see Dr. Adriana Galván, “The Teenage Brain: Sensitivity to Rewards,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 22, no. 2 (April 2013): 88–93. Full text available online at http://cdp.sagepub.com/content/22/2/88.full#cited-by. Accessed February 18, 2015.
2. Dopamine serves other important purposes in the body, but for the purposes of this book, we will focus on its role in the reward system.
3. Siegel, Brainstorm, 67.
4. Daniel Siegel, “Dopamine and Teenage Logic,” The Atlantic, January 24, 2014, http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/dopamine-and-teenage-logic/282895/. Accessed February 18, 2015.
5. Andrea Solarz, “Developing Adolescents: A Reference for Professionals,” American Psychological Association pamphlet, 2002. Accessed October 19, 2015, at http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/develop.pdf, 3.
6. Feinstein, 12.
Chapter 5 That Could Be Epic
1. See Lee Bowman, “New Research Shows Stark Differences in Teen Brains: An Interview with Dr. Ruben Gur,” Scripps Howard News Service, May 11, 2004, accessed February 10, 2015, at http://www.teach-the-brain.org/forums/archive/index.php/t-48.html, and Ruben C. Gur, “Brain Maturation and the Execution of Juveniles,” The Pennsylvania Gazette, January/February 2005, accessed February 10, 2015, at http://www.upenn.edu/gazette/0105/0105expert.html.
2. Siegel, Brainstorm, 69.
3. Ibid., 66.
4. Steinberg, 92.
5. Kim Fischer, “Study Finds Presence of Peers Heightens Teen Sensitivity to Rewards of a Risk,” Temple University News Center, April 4, 2011, accessed February 10, 2015, at http://news.temple.edu/news/study-finds-presence-peers-heightens-teen-sensitivity-rewards-risk.
6. Steinberg, 76–77.
7. See Bradley, 212.
8. Steinberg, 77.
9. Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy (New York: HarperCollins, 1998), 12.
10. Iraneus of Lyons’s quote, “Gloria enim Dei vivens homo,” is found in his A Treatise against the Heresies (originally published in Latin as Adversus Haereses). Full Latin text available at https://archive.org/stream/adversushaerese00irengoog#page/n6/mode/2up, accessed October 19, 2015. See book 3, chapter 20.
Chapter 6 But Nothing Happened
1. See Steinberg, 15.
2. If you’re looking for a solid resource on discipline techniques for teens, we recommend Jim Fay and Cline Foster, Parenting Teens with Love and Logic (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2006), which helps parents establish firm boundaries with empathy.
3. Quoted in Shannon Brownlee, “Inside the Teen Brain” U.S. News & World Report, August 9, 1999, 48. Available online at http://sitemaker.umich.edu/sw633.articles/files/usnews1999.pdf. Accessed February 24, 2015.
4. See M. Linkletter, K. Gordon and J. Dooley, “The Choking Game and YouTube: A Dangerous Combination,” Clinical Pediatrics 49, no. 3 (March 2010): 274–279, accessed February 24, 2015, at http://cpj.sagepub.com/content/49/3/274; A. Wang, A. Cohen, and S. Robinson, “Neurological Injuries from Car Surfing,” Journal of Neurosurgery: Pediatrics 4 (November 2009): 408–13, accessed February 24, 2015, at http://thejns.org/doi/pdf/10.3171/2009.4.PEDS08474 and Michael Strangelove, “Vodka in Your Eye: Attempts to Dismiss ‘Vodka Eye Shots’ as a ‘Faux Trend’ Misunderstand How the Copycat Dynamic of YouTube Works,” The Mark, June 10, 2010. Accessed February 24, 2015, at http://pioneers.themarknews.com/articles/1678-vodka-in-your-eye/#.VOzxckJvmGM.
5. See Jesse Payne, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life Before 25 (Ontario, Canada: Harlequin, 2014), 95.
6. Ibid., 93.
7. Adapted from Bradley, Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!, 236.
Chapter 7 What Do You Want Me to Say?
1. Angela Oswalt, MSW, ed., and C. E. Zupanick, PsyD, “The Maturing Adolescent Brain,” accessed October 19, 2015, at http://gracepointwellness.org/1310-child-development-theory-adolescence-12-24/article/41158-the-maturing-adolescent-brain.
2. Mary Bauer, “Language Development in Teenagers,” LiveStrong, February 17, 2015, http://www.livestrong.com/article/226031-language-development-in-teenagers/. Accessed March 3, 2015.
3. P. Thompson, J. Giedd, R. Woods, et al., “Growth Patterns in the Developing Brain Detected by Using Continuum Mechanical Tensor Maps,” Nature 404 (March 9, 2000): 190–93.
4. Feinstein, 67.
5. Aislinn Laing, “Teenagers ‘Only Use 800 Different Words a Day,’” The Telegraph, January 11, 2010, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/6960745/Teenagers-only-use-800-different-words-a-day.html. Accessed March 3, 2015.
6. Fay and Cline, 212.
7. Dr. Michael Bradley gives excellent advice regarding this in his book, Yes, Your Teen is Crazy, page 174.
8. Bradley, 178.
Chapter 8 Why Are You Freaking Out?
1. Payne, 28.
2. Andrew Coleman, A Dictionary of Psychology, 3rd ed. (London: Oxford University Press, 2008), 248.
3. See Fay and Cline, 66–67.
Chapter 9 Why Are You Looking at Me Like That?
1. Based on the research of Dr. Albert Mehrabian, professor emeritus of UCLA’s School of Psychology, recorded in his books Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes (Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing, 1981), 76, and Nonverbal Communication (New Brunswick, NJ: Aldine Transaction, 2007), 182.
2. Especially portions of the temporal lobes and limbic system.
3. Yurgelun-Todd and her colleagues’ first studies were performed at Harvard’s McLean Hospital Cognitive Neuroimaging and Neuropsychology Laboratory and reported in “Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging of Facial Affect Recognition in Children and Adolescents,” Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry 38, no. 2 (1999): 195–99, accessed October 20, 2015, at http://www.jaacap.com/article/S0890-8567(09)62897-5/abstract. Further studies were recorded in “Social Anxiety Predicts Amygdala Activation in Adolescents Viewing Fearful Faces,” Developmental Neuroscience: Neuroreport 16, no. 15 (October 2005): 1671–75; “Fear-Related Activity in the Prefrontal Cortex Increases with Age During Adolescence: A Preliminary fMRI Study,” Neuroscience Letters 406, no. 3 (November 2006): 194–99; and “Cerebral Correlates of Amygdala Responses During Non-Conscious Perception of Facial Affect in Adolescent and Pre-Adolescent Children,” Cognitive Neuroscience 1, no. 1 (March 2010): 33–43.
4. Dr. Yolanda van Beek and Dr. Judith Semon Dubas, “Age and Gender Differences in Decoding Basic and Non-Basic Facial Expressions in Late Childhood and Early Adolescence,” Journal of Nonverbal Behavior 32 no. 1 (March 2008): 37–52.
5. Adolescents displayed increased activity in the limbic system when attempting to interpret facial expressions they were shown, particularly in the amygdala, a small almond-shaped region in the medial and temporal lobes that processes memory and emotions, particularly in the case of strong emotions like fear.
6. See Dr. Catherine Sebastian et. al “The Social Brain in Adolescence: Evidence from Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging and Behavioural Studies,” Neuroscience Biobehavioral Reviews (2010), doi: 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2010.10.011.
7. Jennifer Wells, “The Brain: For Adolescents, a Scary Path to Full Development,” The Toronto Star, June 24, 2010, http://www.thestar.com/life/health_wellness/2010/07/24/the_brain_for_adolescents_a_scary_path_to_full_development.html. Accessed June 25, 2014.
8. Between 370 and 390, depending on translation.
9. According to research conducted at Echnische Universität in Munich, Germany. See Andreas Hennenlotter et. al, “The Link between Facial Feedback and Neural Activity within Central Circuitries of Emotion—New Insights from Botulinum Toxin–Induced Denervation of Frown Muscles,” Cerebral Cortex 19, no. 3 (2009): 537–42; doi: 10.1093/cercor/bhn104.
10. Quote attributed to Thich Nhat Hanh in Ron Gutman, Smile: The Astonishing Powers of a Simple Act, TED talk transcript (New York: Ted Conferences LLC, 2011).
11. “The Therapeutic Effects of Smiling,” in An Empirical Reflection on the Smile, ed. Millicent H. Abel (Wales, UK: Edwin Mellen Press, 2002), 218–55.
12. Alicia A. Grandey et. al, “Is Service with a Smile Enough? Authenticity of Positive Displays during Service Encounters,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 96, no. 1 (January 2005): 38–55.
13. “One Smile Can Make You Feel [Like] a Million Dollars,” The Scotsman, March 4, 2005, accessed June 25, 2014 at http://www.scotsman.com/news/health/one-smile-can-make-you-feel-a-million-dollars-1-738272.
Chapter 10 Aren’t You Sorry?
1. R. Cunnington Molenberghs and J. Mattingley, “Brain Regions with Mirror Properties: A Meta-Analysis of 125 Human fMRI Studies,” Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 36, no. 1 (January 2012):341–49, accessed October 19, 2015, at http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21782846.
2. R. Mukamel, A. Ekstrom, J. Kaplan, M. Iacoboni, and I. Fried, “Single-Neuron Responses in Humans during Execution and Observation of Actions,” Current Biology 20, no. 8 (April 2010): 750–56, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960982210002332. Accessed March 9, 2015.
3. See V. Gallese, “The ‘Shared Manifold’ Hypothesis: From Mirror Neurons to Empathy,” Journal of Consciousness Studies 8, no. 5–7 (May 2001): 33–50, http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/imp/jcs/2001/00000008/F0030005/1208. Accessed March 9, 2015.
4. Dr. Caroline Leaf, Switch On Your Brain: The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2013), 112.
5. See Giacomo Rizzolatti and Leonardo Fogassi, “The Mirror Mechanism: Recent Findings and Perspectives,” Philosophical Transactions B of the Royal Society of London, vol. 369, no. 1644 (April 28, 2014):1–12, accessed October 20, 2015, at http://rstb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/royptb/369/1644/20130420.full.pdf.
6. Adapted in part from Jim Burns, Teenology, 106.
7. Bradley, 131–32.
8. For a fascinating read on this, try neurosurgeon David I. Levy’s book Gray Matter (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale, 2011).
9. Ellen Michaud, “Discover the Power of Forgiveness,” Prevention, January 1999, 110–15.
10. We recommend Lewis Smedes’s books on forgiveness, Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997) and The Art of Forgiving: When You Need to Forgive and Don’t Know How (New York: Ballantine Books, 1996). Jerusha also included a chapter on forgiveness in her book, Every Thought Captive: Battling the Toxic Beliefs that Separate Us from the Life We Crave (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2006).
Chapter 11 What’s Wrong with My Friends?
1. We’re speaking generally here, assuming that a teen’s home is a safe place. Development in abusive situations often follows a different course.
2. Steinberg, 95.
3. Thanks to Arlene Pellicane and Gary Chapman for the ideas in this paragraph.
4. Steinberg, 100.
5. Kevin Leman, Have a New Teenager by Friday (Grand Rapids: Revell, 2011), 96.
Chapter 12 It’s Not Like We’re Getting Married
1. Drs. Beverly and Thomas Alan Rodgers, The Singlehood Phenomenon (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2006), 121–22.
2. Feinstein, 27.
3. Burns, 89–90.
4. Thoughts for this section adapted in part from Thomas Umstattd Jr.’s blog post, “Why Courtship Is Fundamentally Flawed,” at ThomasUmstattd.com, August 12, 2014, accessed March 12, 2015, at http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/. Accessed March 12, 2015.
5. Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage (New York: Riverhead Books, 2011), 44.
6. Adapted from Sally Lloyd-Jones, The Jesus Storybook Bible (Grand Rapids: Zonderkidz, 2007), 200.
Chapter 13 This Is Sooooo Awkward
>
1. Burns, 82.
2. In this section we will focus narrowly on oxytocin. Male and female sex hormones will be discussed in chapters 22 and 23.
3. H. Lee, A. Macbeth, J. Pagani, and W. Scott Young III, “Oxytocin: The Great Facilitator of Life,” Progress in Neurobiology 88, no. 2 (June 2009): 127–51. Accessed October 19, 2015, at http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S030100820900046X.
4. Siegel, Brainstorm, 239.
5. Jerry Large, “Shedding Light on the Teen Brain,” The Seattle Times, June 8, 2009. Accessed October 19, 2015, at http://seattletimes.com/html/jerrylarge/2009312466_jdl08.html.
6. See Steinberg, 47.
7. Jennifer Aubrey, “Sex and Punishment: An Examination of Sexual Consequences and the Sexual Double Standard in Teen Programming,” Sex Roles 50 (7–8): 505–514, doi:10.1023/B:SERS.0000023070.87195.07.
Your Teenager Is Not Crazy Page 29