Surrender to Love

by Julia Templeton

  Grabbing a pair of black pants, she stopped before submerging them under the water. Gray Hawk had worn these very pants yesterday. She vividly remembered the way they clung to his sweaty body while branding. She glanced at the pile of clothes, his shirt was lying there on top. Putting the pants in the tub, she grabbed the shirt, looked around, then brought it to her face, rubbing the soft material against her cheek and smelling the masculine scent that still lingered on them.

  "Jordan?"

  Guiltily dropping the shirt in the tub, she turned to see Shane coming out the back door.

  "There you are. Hey, I wanted to tell you that you may want to get an early start on dinner tonight. I gave the men the afternoon off after our long day yesterday."

  "Thanks for the warning," she said, hoping he hadn't seen her smelling her lover's shirt. Lover--the word was so intimate, yet so right, because that's exactly what Gray Hawk was to her.

  "Looks like you have your hands full, so I'll leave you to your washing."

  She did no more than nod. Taking gentle care of the shirt, she lovingly rinsed out every speck of dirt. With careful fingers she hung it and his pants on the line to dry, her mouth curving into a grin.

  As she walked up the back steps to the house, she rubbed her red, chapped hands together. She glanced down at her wet apron, and quickly changed into a fresh one. Wishing she had time to brush her hair, she instead used her fingers to rake through the curls. Already she missed Kari's help, who had taken a job in town at the dress shop. Jordan knew she'd done it to call Shane's bluff, but no doubt it would be Jordan who would pay for it.

  An hour later, her exhaustion was forgotten as she took supper out to the men. Her heart began pumping within her chest having waited the entire day to see Gray Hawk. When she neared the door, the sounds of male voices filled the air. As she stepped inside the hall, she was met with smiles and praise on how great the food smelled. To her disappointment, Gray Hawk was not among the hands eagerly awaiting their dinner.

  When she brought in the last of their meal, Gray Hawk still hadn't arrived. She lingered a few minutes, making sure everyone had what they needed. What if he'd left? Maybe she'd been a disappointment to him, and he was now headed back to Running Deer. Her heart lurched at the thought. Certainly he would have said something to her.

  Suddenly depressed, she walked out the door and ran straight into a ranch hand. His hands went to her arms, steadying her.

  "Hey."

  Jordan looked up into Gray Hawk's gorgeous face and her hope was restored.

  Closing the door behind them, Gray Hawk pulled her around the side of the bunkhouse and out of sight of the others. His arms encircled her waist, bringing her up against his hard length as his lips met hers feverishly.

  "I missed you," he whispered against her lips.

  "I missed you, too," she replied, leaning into him, savoring the feel of his strong arms around her. "I thought for a minute you had left."

  His gray eyes were dark with passion as he kissed her again. "I would never leave you."

  Laying her cheek against his chest, she closed her eyes savoring the moment.

  "Meet me tonight?"

  "Yes," she replied, before pulling his head down for one more kiss. "You better go before someone comes looking for you."

  "All right, I'll see you later tonight."

  She could feel his eyes on her all the way back to the house.

  ALTHOUGH HER back ached like the dickens, Kari felt a sense of satisfaction. After six straight hours of sewing, she headed off in the direction of the schoolhouse where Tanner and Rebecca were at play with the other children. She smiled to herself knowing that a structured school day was exactly what both children needed. As she approached, they waved merrily, then after bidding their new friends goodbye, jumped aboard.

  "How was your day?" Kari asked, as they rolled forward.

  "Fun," Rebecca said with a wide smile. "We didn't have too much work, but we did play a lot, didn't we Tanner?"

  Tanner nodded.

  "How was your day?" Rebecca asked, sounding very much like an adult.

  "I had a marvelous day. Mrs. Craven is the nicest woman to work for. She is very sweet and mild-mannered." So unlike Shane Catalono, she thought to herself.

  They continued on in silence, the kids no doubt reliving their first day at school and Kari was exhausted, but elated she'd accomplished what she'd set out to do. Mrs. Craven hadn't asked many questions, but Kari noticed she mentioned renting the apartment above the shop to her and Jordan. She hadn't asked about their current living arrangements, but Kari had once again lied and said they were Hank's nieces from New York. Even though she detested telling the woman lies, it would be easier that way, less suspicious.

  As they crested the hill overlooking the Triple T, Kari stopped so she could gaze at its sheer beauty. "Isn't it glorious children?" She took in a breath of fresh air. "This is what it's all about."

  She realized Tanner was staring at her, and when she turned he looked away abruptly. He said so little around her, and was almost shy--though she'd seen him with the men and knew he was very outgoing. Obviously a sign of living with men all his life, without a mother's influence. His dark hair fell into his eyes, and she had to resist the urge to sweep the bangs back with her hand, uncertain of what his reaction would be. After all, he was only four years younger than herself. "It must be a good feeling to know that this will all be yours one day," she said instead.

  He looked down at the ranch, his eyes so like his father's taking everything in. Then a small smile came to his lips before he nodded. "Yeah, it does feel good."

  Kari's hands tightened on the reins as Shane stepped from the stables, his hand shaded his eyes as he looked in their direction. Seconds later he waved. Rebecca and Tanner waved exuberantly in return as she slapped the reins down sending the wagon lurching forward.

  She could feel her carefree mood slipping away with every turn of the wagon wheel that brought her closer to Shane Catalono. He was so irritating! How she yearned to slap that sardonic smile from his face whenever she saw him.

  "He says you're pretty?"

  Kari turned to Rebecca who was grinning at her.

  "Who said that?" Kari asked, her brow raised in question while trying to hide the excitement she felt even before Rebecca nodded in Shane's direction.

  "Uncle Shane." Rebecca giggled. "He said you're ornery, too."

  Kari's heart leapt in her chest. He thought she was pretty! She frowned. Clearly Rebecca had misunderstood him, for Shane Catalono certainly never looked at her with anything but a disapproving smirk. "You must have misunderstood him," she replied matter-of-factly. "He was probably talking about someone else--"

  "No, she's right. I heard him," Tanner confirmed. "And he was talking about you. He said you had the face of an angel, hair like a field of wheat, and a smile that would make a priest blush."

  Kari kept her eyes pinned on the man that was walking toward them in his long-legged stride. Obviously the children wouldn't lie, or come up with those phrases on their own. Did he really think those things about her? The thought warmed her insides as she stared at him. God broke the mold when He made Shane Catalono, Kari thought, for he was pure, unadulterated male. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she reined in beside him. To know he had said all those "nice" things about her was rather unsettling. For so long she'd built up a wall where he was concerned. A wall she meant to stay intact, she thought with firm resolve, as Shane looked right past her to Tanner and Rebecca.

  "How was school?" he asked, helping Rebecca down.

  As they rattled on excitedly about their day, he laughed. "Whoa, on second thought, tell me over supper. Go on, get yourselves cleaned up." He smiled after the two as they raced toward the house, and Kari stared at his strong profile. He was a handsome man, so masculine...and so sarcastic.

  When he turned back to her, she immediately stood and went to step from the wagon, when he reached out and grabbed her. His large hands
nearly spanned her waist as he let her down slowly, his blue eyes not once leaving hers. Once situated on the ground she resisted the urge to hold onto him to steady her wobbly knees. "Thank you," she muttered under her breath before she stepped past him.

  "How was your first day on the job, Miss Hoffman?" he asked to her retreating back.

  Turning, she found his eyes wandering down her body. Did he have any idea how wicked he looked when his gaze moved over her like that, or what he was doing to her pounding heart? "I had a very good day, thank you."

  Shane watched as Kari turned toward the house again, enjoying the enticing sway of her hips as she walked with her chin held high and her back ramrod straight. As she jerked the door closed behind her, he swore under his breath. He had no business messing around with someone as young, and newly widowed as Kari Hoffman. Hoffman? His eyes narrowed, wondering why she didn't use the same name as her husband. Or perhaps she had been married to Jordan's brother--but they were cousins. Or maybe she just hadn't been married long enough to become accustomed to her married name. He wondered not for the first time what her husband had been like. He knew he had been twice her age. Had he been good to her? Did he love her and she him, the way that he and Lily had loved?

  He was still pondering those same questions when he sat down to dinner.

  Shane nodded as Kari passed him in a clean apron, her golden curls piled atop her head. He watched her as she moved around the kitchen methodically going through the motions, helping Jordan prepare the family's dinner, even though her cousin appeared to have everything under control.

  She was at ease here. Familiar where everything was and where it went. Rebecca adored both she and Jordan, and Tanner had taken to the women better than he could have hoped. One day Kari would marry again and maybe even have children. The thought hit him like a fist to his gut. She would be a great mother. She proved that every day with Rebecca and Tanner.

  As he stared, he noticed her skin turn a flattering shade of pink. Her back was ramrod straight, and her chin was tilted at that regal level he was becoming accustomed to. Only on rare occasions did she smile, and he realized how much he would love to see a grin right about now.

  As Rebecca and Tanner took their seats, Jordan and Kari set the steaming roast on the table and sat down. Throughout the meal Kari kept her eyes on her plate, but she barely picked at her food. He wished they'd got off on the right foot, but it seemed from the first moment they met, theirs was going to be a different kind of relationship...he could only blame himself for starting it.

  He ate, not really tasting the food as he tried to make sense of his emotions as far as Kari was concerned.

  The physical attraction was obviously there from the very beginning, at least on his part, and he suspected she felt the same way if he wasn't misconstruing those tentative glances that were down right sizzling at times. He wasn't an arrogant man. It wasn't as though women were knocking down his door, but he wasn't a stranger to some of the women of Brogan. Once he even came close to settling down with one. Her name was Rose, a young lady with a quiet disposition and a love for painting. She would have made a good wife. Obedient, loyal, but she lacked a certain spark. Always she wanted what Shane wanted, never giving any thought to her own happiness. He broke things off, and within a year she married a preacher, and moved to a neaby town.

  With most women, he made the mistake of comparing them to Lily. They didn't measure up, always lacking in some way. So why this attraction to Kari who was the complete opposite? He and Lily had similar upbringings. She had been content with her life on the ranch, but Kari...sure she had adapted, but what did he really know about her? Something about her and Jordan puzzled him. With their impeccable manners, and the way they carried themselves, made him wonder if they came from money. But if they had money, why did they work? There were a lot of questions where the two of them were concerned.

  Why was he thinking about women anyway? He had his son and his ranch. He didn't have time for that kind of trouble. A woman who loved Tanner and Rebecca like her own, and who loved ranching and this country as much as he did. Would it be so bad? He thought to himself.

  The children ate quickly, excusing themselves, anxious to play a game of cards.

  "I'll be right there," he said, glad to get his thoughts off of Kari.

  Jordan cleared the dishes from the table. "Kari, you don't have to help me. You've already worked a long day."

  "I want to," she said quickly, her smile tight as she glanced in his direction. "Do you need something, Mr. Catalono?"

  Shane's brows lifted at her question. "Can't a man sit and drink his coffee in his own kitchen?"

  Kari turned her back on him and rinsed the dishes. Shane could see he wasn't wanted, so he left them.

  Shane was sitting on a couch watching the kids play a game of cards, when Kari came into the living room a little while later. She took a seat nearby, avoiding his glance.

  A warmth washed over him as she smiled down at the children, who had become so enamored of her. How often had he wanted a woman in his life? For so long he thought he would be alone, never imagining another taking Lily's place. Yet now he had hopes that perhaps this woman at his side could be a part of his life. He cleared his throat, bringing her attention to him. "Thanks for taking the children to school today. I think you're right, it is good for them to be around other kids their age."

  Her eyes widened at the compliment, and she grinned. His heart skipped a beat, making him feel like a boy again.

  "You're welcome," she replied, a soft blush creeping into her cheeks.

  They sat in companionable silence for a while, content on watching the children. She sat forward, rubbing the muscles along the base of her neck.

  Seeing her discomfort, Shane took the seat beside her. "Turn around," he said, brushing her hands away. His fingers gently kneaded the muscles along her neck and shoulders. The feel of her soft skin beneath his fingertips was wonderful as they moved up along the base of her neck, running along the silky tendrils that escaped from her bun. He yearned to bring the golden tresses to his face, to smell the sweetness, to feel the silkiness.

  No matter how hard Kari tried to relax, she found it impossible. When Shane stood, she thought he was going to bed, but when his hands moved to her shoulders, she was more than surprised--she was terrified. Her heart was thumping so erratically she was sure he could hear it. But if he did, he wasn't letting her know it, for he continued his slow ministrations until she finally began to relax.

  "Loosen up," he said against her ear. Rebecca glanced up at them, her face a sweet smile as she turned back to the game. Thank goodness someone else was in the room because if they weren't, Kari was afraid of the direction his assistance would take them.

  Closing her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy what he was doing, Kari let her mind drift, imagining what it would be like to feel those hands on other parts of her body. Her wicked thoughts conjured up all kinds of images of the two of them together, much like all of her dreams lately.

  His hands moved up either side of her neck. His fingers splayed, moving lightly over her ears. She swallowed hard as goose bumps covered her skin. His gentle touch was torture. A part of her wanted him to stop, and yet she dreaded the moment he would.

  Shane glanced down at the beauty he was massaging. What had made him offer to ease her tight muscles? He was wishing he hadn't touched her, because now he wondered what it would be like to touch her entire body. It had been months since he last had a woman in his bed, and then it had been a prostitute he visited.

  Kari sighed, making his thoughts turn even more vivid.

  Why didn't he just admit it to himself? He was scared. Plain and simple. And he was terrified to give his heart to someone, only to lose that person again. Always he'd been so certain there was never anyone who could take Lily's place. Yet lately the thought of spending the rest of his life alone was bleak and desolate.

  As his fingers brushed the soft curls at the nape of Kari's neck,
he wondered if she wanted to find another husband. It had taken him a lot of years to get to this point, while it had only been months since she'd lost her husband.

  Kari moaned softly, bringing his thoughts back to the present. "You've great hands, Mr. Catalono," she whispered in a low husky voice.

  She has no idea how that sounds, he thought to himself, as his hands slipped down her neck, his fingers lightly grazing her collarbones before moving back to her shoulders. "Call me Shane."

  Kari's heart leapt in her breast as his fingers lightly touched her collarbone, coming dangerously close to the swell of her breasts as his thumbs kneaded the knots from her neck. Her whole body was alive, and as his fingers lightly traced a path up nearly to her jawline, the innocent contact tugged at her innards. Surely this was wrong, and much too intimate. Feeling heat rise to her cheeks, Kari pulled away. "Thank you, Mr. Cat--Shane."

  Thankfully, he stopped, his fingers lingering only a moment before he stepped back. Instantly she wished he was massaging her again, but as he sat beside her, she thought the best she could do right now was to go to her room, and try to gain control of her warring emotions again.

  "My pleasure, Kari." His voice was soft and sensual.

  "Well, I'd better be getting to bed now, I have an early morning." Not waiting for a reply, she jumped from the couch, hoping he didn't stop her, yet hoping he did.

  Chapter 17

  SITTING BESIDE the pond, Jordan held the flower to her nose. She put it behind her ear, her gaze returning to the spot where she and Gray Hawk had made love last night. A grin tugged at her lips, hoping she would experience the magic again.

  When she heard someone approach, she quickly came to her feet. Her heart hammering, she brushed off her skirts, and looked up just as Gray Hawk stepped from the trees.

  Her stomach flipped as Gray Hawk's eyes moved over her hungrily. Staring at his tall, lean frame, Jordan marveled at the strange new emotions that were rising to the surface as he came toward her in long strides. To think that she knew this man intimately, that he knew her like no one else did. His grin was boyish as he lifted her in his strong arms and kissed her soundly.