Purpose

by Andrew Q. Gordon

  “No, well, not since you got home, at least.” Ryan turned, but not before Will saw him chew on his upper lip.

  “Everything went fine, by the way. No one died.” He waited for Ryan to look at him to continue. “Saved two police officers from getting shot as well.”

  “Really?” There was the smile Will wanted to see. “And you didn’t hurt anyone?”

  “Well….” Ryan frowned, so Will shrugged. “There wasn’t a lot of time to stop the ambush. Nothing they won’t recover from with time.”

  He quickly smiled again. “Will, I’m glad you’re trying. And saving two officers was a really good thing.”

  Making Ryan happy felt good. He liked to see him smile. He pulled the sheets back, dropped the towel, and slid in beside Ryan.

  “What are we watching?” As if he would know the title.

  “Harry Potter—the first one.” He clicked the start button and snuggled closer. “You do know who that is, right?”

  “Heard of it, but never read the books or saw the movies.”

  “Cool,” Ryan said, wiggling to get comfortable. “This way you can give me your honest opinion.”

  Pulling Ryan closer, he kissed the top of his head. “I’d never lie to you, Ryan.”

  “I know that.” He twisted so he could look up. “I just meant you won’t have any expectations before we watch it.”

  “Gotcha.”

  Even DVDs had previews. Things were so different from when he was younger.

  “Will?” There was tension in Ryan’s voice.

  “Yes?”

  “I’d like us to go out with Jake if you still want.” His tone and body language didn’t match the words.

  What brought this change about? “We don’t have to. I wasn’t trying to force anything.”

  “I know you weren’t, but I’d like to go anyway.”

  Will paused the movie. “What changed for you?”

  “It’s like you said, you wouldn’t lie to me. Of all the people I’ve ever met, I know beyond any doubt, you’re the first one who won’t pretend. I trust you.”

  Will felt a tingle in his nose, a precursor to a tear. The little time they’d been together meant so much to Ryan. How could affection be so missing in his life? “Thank you. I trust you too.”

  “Why wouldn’t you?” Ryan snorted. “I mean, what fool who looked like me would leave someone like you?”

  “Whoa. Stop.” He pulled Ryan’s face up. “What fool would ever leave someone as beautiful as you? No….” He put two fingers over Ryan’s lips. “Hear me out. The moment I saw you on the Metro, I was drawn to you. You deserve so much better than me, but I’m going to try to make you happy anyway, for as long as you let me.”

  Squeezing his eyes tight, Ryan turned back toward the television. “Really?”

  “Absolutely.” He gently stroked Ryan’s head. “So no more talk about you being anything other than beautiful and hot. Deal?”

  Twisting, Ryan all but jumped on top of him. Pressing his lips hard against Will’s, Ryan kissed him with a passion Will hadn’t felt in a long time. It was over quickly, and Ryan settled back onto Will’s chest. “Deal.”

  Clicking the movie back on, Will asked, “So why the change of heart on seeing Jake?”

  “I… I don’t have any friends. Us having some would be nice.”

  The impact of the statement took Will’s voice. Amidst the sadness in the words was the hope Ryan felt for his future. He not only wanted friends, he expected they would have them together. Will swallowed hard, wondering what possessed him to give up his emotionally detached life for this swirling mass of conflicting emotions. Then Ryan gave him a gentle kiss on the chest, and Will’s arms squeezed reflexively.

  Detached was easier, but it was empty. For the first time since David, he felt alive again. A little pain was worth it, if this was how it felt when it was good.

  14

  “ARE you sure? I feel ridiculous.” Will ran his hand over the skin-tight tee shirt. “Every time I lift my arms, my stomach shows.” He pulled his jeans up.

  “Will, this is what people our age wear.” Ryan adjusted Will’s jeans down just below his hips. “Besides, you have amazing stomach muscles. You look totally hot.”

  He heard the slight hitch in Ryan’s voice that spoke of his fears. Hopefully, it wouldn’t ruin the night for Ryan. “Our age? Ryan, I’m not twenty-five, I’m almost sixty-seven. People my age do not wear these things.”

  The happy snort Ryan gave him eased his worry. If he laughed, Ryan wasn’t worried. “As you pointed out, Gar might be sixty-seven, but Will is still stuck in his twenties.”

  “Damned, too smart for their own good, kids,” he muttered.

  Standing on his toes, Ryan planted a kiss on Will’s cheek. “Besides, what sixty-seven-year-old has a body to die for like yours?”

  Before he could back away, Will grabbed Ryan around the waist. “Or a boyfriend to die for like you.”

  Ryan opened his mouth, but Will kissed him before he could protest. “No telling me I’m wrong,” he whispered between kissing. “I’m the one with the super brain and heightened senses.”

  The hint of pink in Ryan’s cheeks made him even cuter to Will. “Hard to argue with a super genius.”

  “Then don’t try.” One last kiss and he opened the door, letting Ryan go first.

  “STOP playing with your shirt, Will.” Ryan laced his fingers in Will’s.

  He wasn’t sure if it was the shirt comment or because they were holding hands walking down 18th Street, but Ryan smiled like he’d never seen a bad day. A part of him felt good, knowing he had a hand in Ryan’s happiness. Then he wondered if he really did. Their “bond” didn’t feel natural to him.

  Was the Purpose doing something to them both? None of his “prior” lives had experienced anything like this, so he thought it suspect that It would change its way now. Still, this felt way too easy, too arranged. Much as he didn’t want to spoil Ryan’s good mood, sooner than later, they needed to figure it out.

  Like the last time he came to that conclusion, he decided to do it another day. Too many people had been too shitty to Ryan for Will to risk even a sliver of his happiness. That alone scared him. He might have been that considerate with David, but he couldn’t say for sure.

  Tomorrow, he promised himself. Tonight they were going to have a good time.

  Twice, guys stopped and checked them out. Knowing what Ryan would say, he read their minds.

  “You’re not making people see ugly, are you?” The doubt crept back in Ryan’s voice.

  “Last time we talked, you said you wanted people to see you with me. Besides, that guy”—he nodded over his shoulder at the last one who’d stared at them—“he thought you were hot.”

  “You’re lying,” Ryan said, looking sheepish.

  “I told you I’d never lie to you.” Will made sure to make eye contact so Ryan would know he was serious. “His thoughts were easy to read, ‘Damn, they’re a hot couple.’ Which means me and you.”

  Ryan blushed a bit but stood a little taller. “So you’re not hiding what people see?”

  “Not unless you tell me that’s what you want.” At a minimum, Jake needed to see him. “But I….”

  Will pulled them to a stop. At the edge of his hearing he heard a shout for help. “Stay here.”

  “Will? What…?”

  “Just stay here. I need to go….”

  “You’re not leaving me. What’s happening?”

  “Sounds like someone being mugged got interrupted by someone trying to help, but he’s about to get beaten himself. Now stay out of the way. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

  He grabbed a random image and let the small box alter his appearance as he ran toward the fight. From the sounds, he was closer than he thought.

  “K.C., watch out!” A young girl’s scream almost drowned out the male voice.

  The first punch struck flesh, and when Will turned the corner, a group of eight young males surrou
nded a well-built but grounded man. Curled up, he covered his face from the kicks directed at him. The second man tried to help but seemed torn between leaping in and protecting the girl.

  Will took two steps and felt Gar take over. Not wearing a coat meant he left his weapons at home. No matter, he didn’t need them. He timed his jump right and landed with his feet on either side of the downed man. The pack of attackers flinched at his presence, and that was all he needed.

  He shoved the first kid away, slamming him into the side of the house. Flesh and bone on brick wasn’t a fight the human body could win. Angry at the attack, he didn’t restrain his blows any more than these punks cared about their victim.

  Their initial shock passed, and the group turned their attention to Gar. Exactly what he wanted. If they focused on him, the Good Samaritan and his family wouldn’t suffer any further injuries. One kid swung at him, only to scream in pain as Gar met the fist with his own. The kid stared at his shattered hand only for a moment before Gar’s second punch dislodged three teeth and knocked him out.

  Whipping around, he swiped at two more with the backs of his hands, sending the pair spinning in a circle before they collapsed. Half of the gang was gone, and the other four looked shaken. Their robbery was foiled, and their attempt to vent their frustration was met with an unstoppable force.

  Two rushed him head-on, and Gar knew a third one approached from behind. A warning cry came an instant before a knife slit his shirt. The tip snapped off when pressed against his back. Staring at the broken knife, the kid never saw the elbow that crushed half his face.

  Whipping his body around, he nailed a roundhouse kick to the closest of the three robbers. His body tangled with the other two trying to flee. Gar used the delay to leap over the mass of bodies.

  Landing lightly, he gave an evil grin as the last two regained their feet. “Going somewhere before the party’s over?”

  Frozen with fear, they tried to run when he stepped closer. Moving faster than they could respond to, Gar grabbed both by their shirts. He hoisted them off the ground and tossed them against the walls of the alley, where they crumbled, unconscious, to the ground.

  He turned his attention back to the victim of the assault as his friend helped him stand up.

  “Are you okay?” Gar asked, pushing bodies out of the way with his feet. He noted the matching wedding rings each man wore.

  “Who are you?” K.C.’s partner asked.

  Gar ignored the question to run his hands lightly over the injured man. Nothing appeared broken, but he couldn’t be sure. “He needs to be checked out. Do you have a phone?”

  “Yeah.” The uninjured man nodded, still shaking. “K.C.,” he murmured as he pulled out his phone.

  “Call 911.” He changed his image a second time, noting the shocked looks from the small family.

  “How’d….” K.C. shook his head. “I must be hallucinating.”

  “You’re not.” Yet. Touching his face, Gar clouded his thoughts so he had no clear memory of Gar or what he looked like. “Here, sit down and relax until the ambulance gets here.”

  The other man looked at him as Gar brushed his mind against the girl’s and erased the entire event from her memory.

  “We need to talk.” When the man’s eyes went wide, Gar shook his head. “You’re fine. I want to explain a couple of things before I leave. Your daughter has no memory of this. K.C.’s mind is cloudy too—that’s my doing. I can do the same to you, but unless someone explains this to the police, you’ll be suspects.”

  “Who are you?” he repeated.

  “A friend.”

  “You took them apart like they weren’t alive. That’s not normal.”

  “I’m not normal. If the police don’t believe you, tell them to call Detective Griffin. Tell him Gar saved you. That will get him here. Of course, you won’t be able to tell them what I looked like, so let them know whatever you want—that you didn’t get a good look, because you were protecting your daughter, or that I kept changing my appearance.” He switched again. This time he was taller, darker, and more muscular.

  “Okay, sure. Thanks for saving us. But why?”

  “They’ll know who it was, or at least they will suspect. Your family’s been through enough. It’ll be easier this way.” He needed to get going, so he pointed to K.C. “Get him to a hospital, and tell your daughter he tripped and fell. I promise you, her memories of this event are gone.”

  “Will?” Ryan’s voice was close. He followed Will and was getting closer.

  “Good-bye.”

  “Bye…. Thanks.”

  Familiar footsteps coming closer made him react. Telling the man’s mind not to see him, Gar moved to intercept Ryan. Half a block away, Ryan ran toward him.

  “Hey.” He flashed Ryan a broad grin. Giving him a hug, Will kissed his cheek. “What did I say about staying put?”

  “Sorry, I started to worry.” Sirens, a lot of them, interrupted him. Casting a worried look down the street, Ryan lagged as Will started to walk.

  “Will! What happened?” Ryan ran up and put a hand on Will’s back.

  The attacker’s knife had cut a slit in Will’s tee shirt and drawn a few drops of blood. Ryan must have seen those drops.

  “I’m fine. No harm, except to the shirt.” He tried to brush the incident away with a grin, but it quickly disappeared when he saw Ryan’s face.

  “There’s blood, Will.” Ryan ran his hand over the hole in the shirt. “But… no wound. Nothing.”

  “I told you I’m fine.” Not really, he’d been sloppy. He never should have let himself get stabbed. There were only eight of them. “Got careless trying to protect the three people in the alley. The blade broke when this kid stabbed me.”

  “He stabbed you?” A hint of hysteria crept into Ryan’s voice. “Will—”

  “Shh. I told you before. I’m almost indestructible. You can’t worry about me. Nothing will hurt me.”

  “You also said you weren’t Superman.” His voice was calmer, and he relaxed some more when Will grabbed his hand. “Even he could be hurt.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t have a weakness to Kryptonite.” Pulling Ryan’s hand to his lips, Will winked at his boyfriend. “Seriously, the last host was the most powerful one before me. He tried for the last year of his life to find a way to kill himself. Finally, he strapped enough C-4 explosives to his upper torso that when he detonated it, he died… barely. He survived for about ten seconds. The last memory from him was the pain and him trying to say, ‘Fuck, it didn’t work’ before his heart quit.”

  Ryan’s eyes grew wider with each detail until even Will realized he shouldn’t have shared that memory. “Sorry, Ryan. I’ve lost a bit of perspective in the last forty years.”

  “That’s a horrible way to die.” Ryan’s face recovered none of its color. “And why did he want to kill himself so badly?”

  Cursing his stupidity, Will searched in vain for the right words. “Leroy, like most hosts, cut off ties to his family to protect them. He didn’t do a good job of walling off his humanity. Eventually what he’d become weighed too heavily on him.”

  Without Gar to hide behind, being a host would have crushed Will too. Now what? Would he end up like Leroy? Desperately seeking a way to end his life?

  “You won’t end up like him, Will.” Ryan put a hand to Will’s cheek. “I won’t let that happen to you.”

  Will almost disagreed with Ryan but stayed his words at the last instant. He covered Ryan’s hand with his and nodded. “Anyway, that was forty years ago. I’m much more powerful than him, much. What he did probably won’t work on me now. If it took that much to off him, no single knife or gun is gonna hurt me.”

  “I know.” The frustration in Ryan voice returned, and Will pulled them closer. “But as much as my head knows it, I can’t stop worrying.”

  “Worrying is what I get to do about you. You’re not bulletproof.” He hadn’t meant to sound so angry, but he remembered what just happened. “That’s why I need
you to listen to me when I say don’t follow me. I promise I’ll always come back. Believe me when I say it. Always.”

  Blinking twice, Ryan managed a smile before wiping a tear away. “I believe you, Will. It’s just hard to accept sometimes. No one’s ever wanted me like that.”

  “Get used to it, okay? ’Cause we both know you can’t take me in a fair fight.”

  Ryan finally laughed. “Cheater.”

  “Guilty. So, do we go back so I can change shirts or look for a clothing store where I can get a new one?”

  “Why? Can’t you just make it appear all fixed?”

  “Nah, too much work. I want to relax tonight.”

  “Right, but it’s ten thirty. Retail stores aren’t open at this hour.”

  Keeping a tight hold on Ryan’s hand, Will didn’t turn around. “I can get in.”

  “You mean break in and steal?” That idea didn’t seem to appeal to Ryan.

  “Something like that, only I’ll leave money for what I take.” Wouldn’t be the first time Gar/Will needed to get something when the store was closed. “I’ve done it before. I never steal from honest people. In fact, I usually leave way more than I take, just to be sure.”

  Convinced or not, Ryan seemed to relent. “There’s that clothing store near the restaurants on 17th Street.”

  Will nodded. “That’ll work, but this time you have to stay away. I can slip in and out undetected, but I can’t bring you with me.”

  “Just make sure you get the right shirt.”

  Will stopped. “You make it sound like a tight white tee shirt is such a fashion statement. I wore white tee shirts in the fifties. Didn’t you ever watch Happy Days, or see Grease?”

  He laughed out loud at the blank stare Ryan gave him. “I guess not. How’s this, if I get stumped, I’ll snap a picture and send you choices?”

  “Fine, just don’t leave me alone for too long.”

  “Trust me. I’m not going to do that. Can’t have someone swiping you out from under my nose.” When the expected denial never materialized, Will smiled. Now to keep it going.