“Any idea what’s next?” she asked. “After the book’s done?”
Perfectly logical question, considering what she knew about him. What he’d let her know, anyway.
“There’s a couple of options.” Which was true enough. “Haven’t decided which one to go for, though.” Also true. But honest to God—how was it he’d been a hundred times more sure at eighteen of what he at least thought he wanted than he was now?
She gave him one of those looks, like she could see straight through his BS. As unnerving as that was, it was also strangely comforting. Or might have been, if he hadn’t been so thoroughly screwed up. “Options are good.”
“They are. Absolutely.”
Sympathy softened her gaze, made him want to lean in, see if—
“Guess you’ll be glad to get away from here again.”
“It hasn’t been entirely horrible,” he said quietly, by now nearly trembling with the urge to touch her. To somehow infect himself with her warmth and humor and resilience. Except how selfish, how unfair would that be? To both of them, but especially to her? She’d been through enough without his foisting Jerk 2.0 on her.
“Good to know,” Emily said, smiling. “Well.” She tapped the top of the fence rail, then started to back away. “If we don’t run into each other before, guess I’ll see you at the wedding. Give the pup a pat for me, okay?”
Then he watched her return to the house, the braid swishing against her back, thinking sometimes it was hell, being the good guy.
* * *
The wedding was a small affair, mostly family. Although, Emily mused as she tried to get Zach’s toddler Liam to sit still long enough to clip on his bow tie, once you got all the family members together, small took on a whole other definition. And it had been tempting, too, to feel like an outsider, except for everyone’s insistence that as Dee’s cousin she was family by default.
Definitely light years apart from her own childhood, she thought as another toddler—a girl this time—raced through the bedroom in Mallory and Zach’s house set aside for the children’s prep space. Emily caught the dark-haired cutie, a bundle of giggles and tulle, and plopped her on the bed to put her shoes back on, her heart turning over when little Risa launched herself into Emily’s arms to plant a great big squishy kiss on her cheek.
Her eyes stinging for reasons Emily didn’t want to examine too hard, she hugged the little girl back, breathing in her sweet innocence and unfeigned optimism. She’d still been an infant, Emily knew, when her father had been killed while serving overseas...when Josh’s brother Levi returned from his own service to make good on a promise he’d made to his best friend to look out for his wife and two young daughters. A promise that turned into nothing short of a blessing for all concerned.
Naturally, thinking about one Talbot brother led to thoughts of another she couldn’t keep out of her mind, no matter what she did. Honestly, it’d taken everything she had in her, when he told her about his horse Jack and how he’d helped all those kids, not to point out it hadn’t only been the horse who’d enjoyed the encounters so much. That for all Colin swore he’d felt hamstrung by life in the boonies, the way his face practically glowed when he shared those memories proved to Emily that clearly there’d at least been times where he’d felt a sense of purpose and fulfillment right here.
Of course, those experiences could’ve also been the seeds of what eventually pushed him out of the nest, to do more, be more...to be who he had to be.
Well. Once he left, he’d be out of her life for good, and that would be that.
This was nothing more than two people who happened to be in the same place for five minutes. And one of those people—as in, herself—was still smarting from some seriously raw battle scars. Even so, when Colin looked at her as though he wanted to suck God-knew-what out of her, somehow those scars didn’t feel so prominent. Ugly.
Permanent...
In a simple, floral-print sheath that emphasized her long, pretty neck, Deanna stuck her head into the bedroom, managing to look elegant and harried at the same time as she struggled to keep a wriggling infant in her arms. “Need help?” she said over the shrieks of several excited children.
Since corralling squirts was her forte, Emily had volunteered for short people duty so the family could get ready in relative peace...only to quickly realize there was a huge difference between handling kindergartners confined to a single room and a half dozen hyper kids already amped up on the many and varied goodies spread out on the picnic table on the deck out back.
The little girl disengaged from her neck, Emily swept a hank of loose hair off her cheek, only to relieve her cousin of baby Katie, kicking up a storm in her mother’s arms. Squealing with delight, the baby settled onto Emily’s lap to immediately grab her long necklace and stuff it into a very slobbery mouth. “You might want to check on the older boys, make sure shirttails are still tucked in, faces are clean, that sort of thing.”
Her cousin laughed. “Since none of them are actually in the wedding party, Nanny Em, I’m gonna make an executive decision and say it’s not worth the bother.” Then she frowned. “You okay?”
“I just said—”
“Not talking about the kids,” Dee said gently, coming into the room to sit beside Emily on the edge of the bed. “I mean the wedding.”
Ironically, her own wedding to Michael would have been today, as well. Which only Dee knew, since she was supposed to have been Emily’s maid of honor. Certainly Mallory and Zach hadn’t when they finally settled on a date a few weeks ago.
“Don’t be silly,” Emily said, twisting Katie around to bounce her on her knee. “Of course I’m okay.”
“Really?”
Her gaze swung to her cousin’s. “Jeebus, Dee—are you trying to bum me out?”
“No. But I know you. Meaning I’m very acquainted with this annoying little habit you have of pretending you’re all happy-happy when you’re not.”
Emily looked back at the baby to make a funny face at her, smiling when Katie giggled. “Which is better—” she buried her forehead in the baby’s tummy, only to have to pry her hair out of a slimy fist “—than bringing everyone down with my own troubles. Right?”
“Except this is me, Em. And I’d hate to think I invited you out here to recover from what happened only to—”
“Only to what?” Emily said, swinging the baby back around on her lap to rest her cheek in her downy hair. “Unwittingly provide me with an opportunity to face a demon or six? To prove to myself I’m well and truly over Michael?”
Deanna rested her hand on Emily’s back. “Are you?”
Emily huffed a breath. “Guess I’m about to find out, huh?”
“Oh, Em...”
“Okay, fine—watching you and Josh, and Levi with Val... Has it been hard, seeing you guys living the life I want? The life I thought I was going to have, up to a few weeks ago? Sometimes. Shoot, sometimes it’s been hard to breathe, no lie. Envy can be a real bear. However...” Smiling, she shifted the chunky monkey on her lap to lay a hand on her cousin’s wrist. “For one thing, I’m well aware of what you all went through before you got to this point. That your happy-ever-afters didn’t simply fall in your laps. And knowing that makes me far more thrilled for you guys than sorry for myself. And for another...” She squeezed her cousin’s wrist. “I refuse to let other people’s joy make me miserable.” At the tears welling in Dee’s eyes, Emily tried a smile. “Seriously, how dumb is that? If anything it gives me hope. And anyway, since the job came through, you guys are stuck with me now, right?”
Pushing out a short laugh, Dee reached for her daughter, then leaned over to give Emily a one-armed hug. “That part, I’m not sorry about. And I guess we better get out there...”
“You go on. I probably need to fix my hair.”
Her cousin glanced up and burb
led another laugh. “You might want to, at that,” she said, then left the room.
Sighing, Emily dug out a comb from her purse, then stood in front of the mirrored closet to undo her mangled ’do. A quick comb-through, a couple of twists and she was back in business, jabbing hairpins into it hard enough to scrape her scalp. The partially open bedroom window faced the back; she could hear voices, laughter. Joy. Tears threatened again. She blinked them back. Because she was happy. Thrilled, even, that at least one area of her life was falling into place.
Then her phone rang.
She was tempted to let her mother’s call go to voice mail again, only to realize two things: one, of necessity this would be a short conversation, which worked to her advantage; and two, that she couldn’t avoid the woman forever. Especially after the text she’d left her the day before about the job.
“Honestly, it’s about time you answered the phone—”
“I know, Mother, I’m sorry. And unfortunately I can’t stay on long now, either. Zach’s wedding’s about to start. You remember Zach? The oldest Talbot brother? Your niece’s brother-in-law?”
She could practically hear the bristling. Meaning either the significance of the day hadn’t occurred to her mother or she was being diplomatic enough not to mention it. Although Emily’s bringing up Deanna hadn’t exactly been diplomatic of her, she supposed. For reasons harking back to Dee’s mother “marrying that damn cowboy” so many years before. And now...
“You can’t be serious about staying out there.”
“Why not?” The noise outside increased. “This is perfect for me, Mother. And I feel at home—”
“Your home is here, Emily Rose—”
“Sorry, I’ve got to go. Say hi to Dad for me.”
If you two are talking, that is.
And yes, she heard the squawk as she disconnected the call. But honestly—all her life she’d done her mother’s bidding. Gone to the schools her mother chose, took music lessons because her mother wanted her to, only hung out with friends her mother approved of. Nearly married her mother’s choice for her.
“Well, no more,” Emily muttered, checking her reflection in the mirror one last time before leaving the room. Because she was done being the good girl, doing what was expected of her in order to please someone else.
Meaning from now on, it was about her life, her choices. Her mistakes, if it came to that.
And she didn’t think it was insignificant that the first person she saw when she got outside was Colin, his eyes finding hers like a pair of magnets.
Colin, who’d be leaving town sooner rather than later. Yep.
Now or never, a little voice whispered, and she shuddered all the way down to her freshly painted toenails.
* * *
“Throw it to me, Uncle Colin!”
“No, me!”
Chuckling, Colin lobbed the battered Frisbee toward Jeremy, Zach’s oldest boy, laughing harder when somebody’s hound dog intercepted the plastic disk and bounded off with it. Because, yes, this family brought dogs to their weddings. All pumping limbs and shrill yells, a small herd of kids raced after the coonhound as he led them on a merry chase around Zach and Mallory’s park-like backyard, currently suffused with enough grill smoke to probably reach the Colorado border. Man, there were a lot of kids, between Zach’s two and Austin, his brother Levi’s two stepdaughters and Mallory’s middle schooler, Landon. Chaos, in other words. Much like his own childhood, he thought as the tricolor hound brought back the Frisbee, the children hot on his heels.
Amazing, how quickly the family had grown in the past year. How much it would in all likelihood continue to expand, he thought, his gaze snagging on his sister-in-law Val’s huge belly. Three weddings, there’d been in that short amount of time. None of them big, fancy affairs—Josh and Deanna, in fact, had gone the justice-of-the-peace route. But it was kind of hard to ignore the fact that Colin was now officially the only unmarried son.
And even harder to ignore how much that bothered him. Even though contemplating the alternative didn’t exactly sit well, either.
He tugged the disk out of the dog’s jaws, motioning for the kids to get back so he could toss it again. One of the older girls caught it before the dog did, doing a little victory dance before tossing it to Austin. But at the poke at his knee, Colin looked down to see a little redheaded elf grinning up at him. Liam, Zach’s youngest. Without a moment’s hesitation he hauled the preschooler up into his arms, even though he nearly choked on the bittersweetness that holding his youngest nephew close provoked. The memories, of another little boy, on the other side of the world—
The puppy—still with him, still nameless—waddled back to attack Colin’s sneaker. Laughing, Liam wriggled out of Colin’s arms to plop on the grass by the little muttsky, laughing even harder when he suddenly had a face full of excited doggy, trying to lick everywhere at once. Colin lowered himself to the ground, his heart lurching when Liam immediately snuggled into his lap as if he’d known his “new” uncle all his life, and Colin felt like he’d just won the lottery.
From the other side of the yard, he heard Emily’s laugh as she chatted easily with his parents. More easily than he did, probably. When she’d come out of the house before the ceremony, and their gazes had caught...well, for a moment there he could have sworn there was something between them. Something real, that was. The kind of something you grabbed with everything you had in you and hung on to for dear life.
And clearly all that smoke was getting to him. Although, the way she was glowing...what was that all about? Not her job, he didn’t think, since that wasn’t exactly news anymore. And anyway, she’d said it was probably only temporary. Interesting, how they both got off on kids—
Colin closed his eyes against the stab, which he’d hoped would have dulled by now. And he supposed it had, a little. Not enough, though. Not nearly enough.
“Liam!” Jeremy called to his little brother, his hands cupped around his mouth. “Wanna play tag?”
“Yeah!” the kid yelled back, pushing up from Colin’s lap and taking off toward his cousins, who’d commandeered a flattish patch of grass bordering a small orchard, the later bloomers still in full flower. The property, though still suffering some from more than twenty years of abandonment and neglect, was one of the prettiest he’d ever seen, edging closer to the forest than most in the area. Colin smiled—he somehow doubted that when Mallory bought the property in the fall she’d had any idea she’d be married right here less than a year later.
Colin heaved himself to his feet and returned to a weather-beaten picnic table set apart from the deck, underneath a lazily shivering cottonwood, whistling for the pup to follow. Zach had told him earlier he might’ve found a home for the mutt; Colin in turn told himself the news hadn’t poked at a sore spot he hadn’t even known was there. Yes, despite logically knowing he couldn’t keep the dog, not with the kind of life he led. He parked himself on top of the table to watch the goings-on from a relatively—as it were—safe distance. Not that he’d be alone for long, he imagined, since it was inevitable that a brother or parent or kid would sidle over sooner or later to engage him in conversation. But for right now, this worked. For him, anyway.
Because all this copaceticness was a bit hard to take. Especially concentrated like this, all in one spot.
His own grumpiness irritating the hell out of him, Colin lifted his previously abandoned can of beer to his lips as the pup rustled around in the sparse grass underneath the table, hunting bugs or something. Josh’s twin, Levi, was manning the grill, one arm draped around Val’s shoulders, her hands cupped over her huge belly—another girl, his mother had said, due any minute. Over near the house Zach and his new bride were laughing at something Dad was saying. The setting sun seemed to envelop the couple, sizzling in Mallory’s wild red hair, glinting off the rims of her wheelchair. Zach stood slight
ly behind her, one hand underneath all that hair, resting on her shoulder, protective and there. And despite his own bad mood, Colin had to smile at his brother’s loopy grin when Mallory’s hand reached up to rest on his...only to feel his gut torque when Zach leaned over to brush a kiss over his wife’s mouth. And how stupid was that, being envious of his brother for finding a second shot at heaven after the hell he’d been through?
Soundly chiding himself, Colin looked away...only to feel his gut fist all over again when he noticed Emily coming toward him, a can of diet soda dangling from her long fingers, her lips curved in that Mona Lisa smile that drove him crazy. She was wearing a sleeveless, pale yellow dress that rippled around her calves as she walked, so plain it should have been boring. How she somehow made it anything but was a mystery.
How she’d somehow fused herself to his psyche in a few short weeks was even more of one. The absurdity, not to mention the impracticality, of that fusing aside.
“Hey,” she said, then bent to let the puppy chew her fingers for a minute before picking him up to cuddle underneath her chin. She’d twisted her hair into some sort of sloppy bun, leaving a bunch of strands dangling over her shoulders like Spanish moss. The whole look was crazy sexy, although he doubted that’d been her intention.
Colin nodded, telling himself it was this whole lovey-dovey atmosphere making him want to tug her close, feel her softness. Her warmth. Hear that chuckle in his ear. Not loneliness. No, certainly not that. “Congratulations,” he said, and she gave him a puzzled little grin.
“For what?”
“Surviving a Talbot family do.”
She laughed. “Thanks. Although your congrats might be a bit premature. Since it’s not over yet.” Grinning, she waved the can at the table. “Mind if I join you?”
Oh, hell, yes. “Not at all.”
Shifting the dog into the arm holding the soda, she clutched a fistful of dress to hike it up to her knees, then climbed onto the table’s seat and plopped beside him, and he suddenly felt like he was fourteen again and trying to figure out how to get Chelsey Diaz to talk to him without sounding like a complete idiot.
Falling for the Rebound Bride Page 13