“Make up what to me?” she asked, still fuzzy and warm from lovemaking but a little put off by his words.
He was quiet and his arms wound around her like reassuring, protective iron bars. “I love you. I’ll protect you, always.”
She sighed and snuggled in against him. He probably just meant how he’d been difficult the past couple days. “There’s nothing to make up for. You just gave me the best sex of my life. And in case it wasn’t clear by my total submission to you, I already forgave you for anything else.”
“Okay,” he said.
“And, Riker?” she asked.
“Yes?”
“I think I love you, too,” she mumbled.
“What was that?”
“You heard me, stubborn bear.”
“I think I did, but I’m not sure—”
She growled and pulled his arms tighter, and he laughed. “Don’t push your luck.” Then she sighed. “Thank you for everything. For saving me tonight, for saving me before that. For all the things you’ve done.”
“It’s fine,” he said, kissing the back of her neck and giving her exhausted body ideas it couldn’t pursue. “You’re worth it.”
She tried not to let uneasiness creep up on her. She’d just had the most wonderful night of her life. She wouldn’t let any doubts or worries about the future ruin it.
She’d told him before to live in the moment. Now she would have to take the advice for herself.
Which wouldn’t be too hard since being here in his arms was maybe the best moment she’d ever had to live in.
He reached over and turned off the lamp and then pulled the covers up around them, giving her even more protection as he wrapped his arms around her as if he could keep out everything unpleasant about the world.
“Good night, sweetheart,” he said in that grumbly voice that implied he was close to sleep.
“Good night, Riker.”
She’d be awake a while longer, her body still buzzing over everything Riker had done. Everything had just been so good.
Or was it all too good?
She forced that thought away from her mind and focused instead on all the things she wanted to do with her hot bear shifter the next day.
16
Two days later, Riker felt like he was still living in some kind of dream. He rolled off of Ana, looking into her beautiful, shining green eyes.
Every time they were together, and they were together often, he was aware of his own feelings of inadequacy due to his past, and then she made him forget when she held him close and let him please her.
They made love at any spare moment of the day, and it was fierce and uncomplicated and passionate.
They hadn’t spoken of the future since the night he’d told her he loved her. She’d just accepted that love and returned it, and he could feel that friendship, that kindness every moment of every day when he was with her.
And he hadn’t screwed up again like he did the night he was injured, when he’d gotten caught up and hadn’t used protection and completed the first step of the mating process.
But the second step would only be completed when she met and accepted his bear, a way to make sure mates knew what they were getting into with a bear shifter. To make sure they weren’t tricked.
He knew he should maybe tell her so she could watch out, too, but he was afraid of how she’d react to knowing he’d even messed up. That’s why he’d said he’d make it up to her that night when he realized what he’d done, but not told her anything further. Why make her mad when there was nothing he could do to reverse it?
He rolled off of her, still breathing hard, and rested his hand on his head.
“Whew,” she said. “You sure know how to exhaust a girl.”
“What’s it been, four times?”
“Six, easily,” she said. “Wait… I don’t know. Are we counting orgasms or encounters?”
“I don’t know,” he said, rolling over to face her. “All that really counts is I love you.”
“Oh, you,” she said.
“Listen,” he said, nervous. “There’s something I should tell you.”
“Oh?” she asked, sitting up and pulling her clothing back on, snapping on her bra and pulling a sweatshirt over her head. “What’s that?” She gave him a light smile, and he felt his words abandon him. If she got angry, if she left him…
He needed more time. He could be careful until then. It wasn’t final… yet.
“Is something bothering you?” she asked. “You get that look sometimes. You worried I’ll leave you?”
“Will you?” he asked.
“I thought we weren’t going to talk about that,” she said. “So we don’t ruin what we do have.”
“Hard not to think about it,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “But yes, I’ll try not to.”
“Good,” she said. “Remember, I’m still thinking things over. I want to make this my choice if it does happen.”
“Right,” he said. “I would never want to take that away from you.”
“Okay then,” she said. “I’ll let you know.”
“Why are you getting dressed?” he asked. “We have a little more time. Rock’s watching the fight.”
“That’s why I thought maybe I could go watch with you,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling on her jeans and boots. Her face was obviously flushed from sex, her hair mussed, her lips swollen.
“Not with that post-sex face you’ve got going on,” he said, sitting next to her and wiping some stray lip-gloss that had smudged at the corner of her lips. Then he couldn’t resist kissing her there and moving into a full kiss that stole both of their breath.
She put a hand on his chest, pushing him back with a sigh. “Hey now, you’re gonna have to stop that if you want me to be able to walk.”
“Who says I want you to walk?” he asked, folding his arms and standing. “What if I want you to just stay here?”
“Why should I?” she asked. “I’ll be safe with you there. I’ve only been attacked when people thought you weren’t around. I don’t want to stay inside. Besides, I want to be with you.”
“Okay,” he said. “I can’t argue with that logic.” He started to dress, and when he had his jacket and jeans on, along with a tee, he went to work on his boots.
When he was done, he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked her over as she came out of the bathroom. “Okay. A little less sultry now.”
“If I’m sultry at all, it’s your fault,” she said. “I swear you’re waking up a whole new part of me.”
“Good,” he said. “And I want it all for myself.”
She nudged him with her elbow but took his arm for him to lead her downstairs.
They headed outside, and the bright sunlight hurt his eyes for a moment before he adjusted. The outside world intruded on their private space.
For the past few days, he’d almost forgotten he was running the tournament. Rock had been a champ, doing everything he could to take over things and give Riker a chance to win his mate. And he didn’t have a choice. He had to win his mate.
Even halfway mated, she would tear him apart if she left him. If all the way mated…
He didn’t want to even think about it.
He’d told himself he wouldn’t be a coward and he’d put himself out there for her to hurt him, and it was the least he could do after what he’d put her through with his mixed messages and self-protection.
Still, he felt he was a flag waving in the wind, hung out alone, wondering if someone would pull him off the flagpole and take him home.
“Who’s fighting?” she asked.
“Francis and that wolf Ryland is betting on.”
“Will Ryland be there?”
“No,” Riker said. “We’ve assigned him to more bookkeeping stuff and records. We can’t afford another outburst like the one he had the other day. Plus, he’s usually pretty raw and embarrassed after something like that.”
“Did you t
ell him I said thank you?”
“I did,” Riker said. “I think he was too embarrassed to really acknowledge it, but he did say he was glad you were okay, and he’s sorry if he scared you.”
“He didn’t,” she said. “He defended me. And when I get to see him again, hopefully I can tell him that.”
“Yeah,” Riker said as they walked to the platform. Crowds parted for Riker as he walked to the small ladder. He guarded her with his body as she walked up, and Rock stood to greet her, leaning his tall body against the wooden railing, a bag of popcorn in one hand, waving with the other.
He looked like he was doing well. Riker said Rock getting to beat up and throw out the guys who had attacked her and Ryland had been therapeutic and enjoyable for him, who tried to only use violence when it was deserved.
“Hi, Rock,” she said somewhat shyly.
“Hey, Ana,” he replied, coming forward to give her a one-armed hug that made Riker growl at him. “Easy, bro. Anyway, any news about you being our new sister?”
She sighed and punched his arm. “Watch it. We’re taking it slow.”
“You only have a few more days,” Rock said.
“Here,” she said. “But we don’t have to decide it all now.”
Rock and Riker shared looks in response, but she couldn’t decipher them. They all sat, with one of the brothers on either side of her for protection, and watched the fight that was about to begin.
Francis looked up at her and gave her a wave, and she saw Riker stiffen beside her.
“Relax, bud,” Rock said. “You know the dude helped you win her.”
“I don’t know about that,” Ana said. “He’s my friend, and I didn’t really like when you tried to beat on him.”
“I’ll try to keep that in mind,” Riker said. “Next time he approaches you and touches what’s mine, I’ll make sure to beat on him when you can’t see.”
Rock burst out laughing as Ana turned a stern look on Riker. “You wouldn’t.”
Riker just shrugged and turned back to the fight. But his hand snuck over and caught Ana’s, holding it low between them. Their secret.
If Rock noticed, he didn’t say anything.
“So what you do you think the wolf’s chances are?” Riker asked as Francis and his leaner, lanky opponent bumped fists to start the fight.
The wolf was vicious, fast, and had his legs up around Francis’s neck faster than they could blink.
“Triangle hold,” Rock said. “He’s going to try and take it to the ground.”
“I think his chances are good,” Riker said. “But I don’t know if all the speed in the world can make up for the raw strength of a bear shifter. That’s why wolves have alpha powers.”
“Does he have one? Is he even an alpha?” Rock asked.
“No idea,” Riker said. “Shut up and let me watch.”
Francis broke out of the hold through sheer force, and the two broke apart. Then Francis lunged at the wolf with a volley of punches, knocking him up against the side of the cage and then grabbing him, locking him against his chest.
With a loud snarl, Francis’s opponent shifted into a wolf, and Francis then shifted into his bear, and the two animals lunged at each other in a tornado of fur and teeth.
As they rolled across the cage, she heard Francis roar and knock the wolf back until he hit the cage wall and bounced off. But he was resilient and came running back to jump up and sink his jaws into Francis’s arm. Francis jerked, trying to shake him off, but his movements in bear form were slower, clumsier. He slammed the wolf into the wall, again and again, but the wolf wouldn’t let go.
Finally, Francis tucked his arm underneath him and fell forward, trapping the wolf with his huge weight.
Yeah, maybe it was a bit cheap, but it was clear the wolf wasn’t going to play fair either. With a shimmering blast, Francis was knocked back from the wolf, who was glowing under a transparent gold shield and snarling.
“Stop!” Rock yelled, standing. “No alpha power allowed. Disqualified.”
“Nothing to stop me from killing you, then,” the wolf muttered, staring at a bewildered Francis. They circled each other suspiciously, Francis looking up at the judge stand as if to ask what he should do.
He didn’t look exactly afraid, but this was definitely a new situation.
“You bears all think you’re so precious,” the wolf said. “So what if you’re strong and big. That’s not everything.” He sent another shimmering wave forward, knocking Francis into the wall of the cage. Had Francis been expecting that and not taken by surprise, maybe he could have reacted better.
Instead, he was stunned and tried to stumble forward slowly, putting up an arm to block any future attacks.
The wolf snarled, and Francis threw his head back in a terrifying roar and lunged toward the wolf, trying to pin him as well as he could. He wrestled with the wolf, rolling over the ring and trying to keep him from attacking again, as the crowd began running all over the place, trying to escape the area.
No one knew how far the wolf’s attack could go.
Francis looked up at the judge’s stage. “Get everyone out of here! Riker, I’m going to need help.”
Riker didn’t even think about it. The wolf had gone rogue, and no one knew what he was capable of. He’d heard of alpha powers that could kill on contact. He couldn’t let his mate be in danger. He felt the shift take over before he even hit the ground after jumping from the stage.
He landed with a thud, making the ground shake as his enormous bear form went thundering toward the ring. He scaled it in one move and landed hard between the wolf and Francis.
“Well,” the wolf said snidely. “Aren’t you just the big, bad bear?”
“Fucking huge,” Francis said in a slightly dizzy voice. “They weren’t kidding when they said that about you.”
Riker fought back a smile and then faced his opponent in bear form. How dare the puny dog threaten the area his mate was in?
The wolf seemed almost able to read minds and looked up at the stage where Ana was. “Ah, you down here to protect your little bitch?” he asked. “That’s where you’ve been when you should have been supervising? Maybe if you were doing your job, you wouldn’t be so afraid to let wolves use alpha powers.”
“We shouldn’t have even let you join,” Riker said, pacing and wondering when the wolf would unleash his next attack. For all he knew, he had to wait between uses. Or maybe he was tired.
“Yeah, well, too bad. I’m defeating you and taking the money,” he said. “And maybe your little bitch, too. Just for good measure.”
Riker roared and lunged forward, catching the wolf across the face with long, obsidian claws, sending him rocketing into the ring and into oblivion, knocked out by the time he hit the ground with a little sound like air escaping a deflating balloon.
“Serves him right,” Francis said, covering himself with the spare clothes at the side of the ring as Rock threw them over. He brought some to Riker, who was still huffing and puffing, furious at the wolf’s words about taking his mate. “Hey, dude, it’s over. It’s okay. Rock, can you get the wolf out of here?”
“Yeah,” Rock said. “We’ll put him in confinement. Normally, I’d give him medical attention, but—”
“I don’t want him anywhere near my mate,” Riker growled hoarsely.
“Right, sure,” Rock said. “No Problem. Now just shift back, okay, and everything will be fine.”
Riker jerked his gaze in Ana’s direction. She wasn’t on the stage. Panic flew through him, and he roared, throwing his head back.
“Riker, I’m here. It’s okay,” she called, and he saw she was running toward him, having already come down from the stage.
He froze at the calm, reassuring look on her face as she came toward him.
Go to her. Let her accept you, the bear inside him begged. He’d never wanted anything more in the world than to feel her warm embrace and know she loved him, even in this form.
But he couldn’t
let her. Not until he explained what could happen.
He took an awkward step away from her as she entered the ring, looking at Francis for help.
“Don’t look at me,” Francis said, putting his hands up. “This is between you two.”
She took another step forward, approaching carefully, as if he were a wild animal.
Well, he was, wasn’t he?
“Riker, it’s okay,” she said, putting out a hand to touch him. He backed up as hard as he could against the cage, avoiding her touch.
Don’t say it. Don’t do it. I don’t know how to explain it.
But she mistook his fear, his awkwardness, as needing to be reassured somehow. Why was this going so wrong?
She reached him, put her arms as far around his neck as they could go, and whispered against his fur. “No need to be afraid. I like you this way, too.”
His body froze in shock, images of their mating flooding his mind.
“I accept everything about you,” she said. “I can’t promise you everything, but I can promise I accept you.”
He’d been so stupid, so caught up in protecting her physically that he’d forgotten being in his bear form could risk her heart. Why had he fucked up the other night, too? If he hadn’t, this wouldn’t be happening.
Even as he was writhing with uncomfortable regret, happiness flooded him as he felt his animal running through the forest, roaring at a wide, moonlit plain, celebrating his mate.
He closed his eyes against the images, shuddering as the good feelings moved through him, mingling with his guilt in a way that made him nauseous.
He had no right to feel good right now. After all his attempts to protect her so she could make her own choice, he had failed. And she would never have this choice back again, even though it was maybe the most important of their lives.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, running a hand through his fur. “Why are you acting weird?” She put a hand up to feel his temperature. “Actually, I have no idea how to tell if a bear is sick.”
“Step back. I’m going to shift,” he said.
“Does that mean I’m going to see you naked?” she asked playfully. “Ooh, yay.”
But he cut her off, shifting quickly back to human form and stumbling toward Francis for the clothes he was holding out. He pulled them on clumsily and opened the gate.
Sheltered by the Bear (Trapped in Bear Canyon Book 1) Page 14