“Let’s get our pictures first, before anyone gets all sweaty.” Britney’s nasally voice broke the spell, and I realized in horror that she was looking pointedly at me. It was obvious that I was the “anyone” she’d been referring to.
“Yeah, let’s get it over with.” Clark looked embarrassed by Britney’s comment and began pulling her toward the line for pictures. Becka threw me a fake smile and then tugged on Danny’s arm, forcing him to follow her as she caught up with Britney. Joey, Marina, and Luke all pretended not to hear Britney’s insult as we followed the other couples. Marina began talking about the decorations, and Luke took my arm again.
I may have imagined it, but his jaw seemed to be clenched, and I felt completely humiliated. Here he was, the best looking guy in school, stuck with a sweaty little sophomore! I felt sure that my face was shiny or something, otherwise why would Britney have said that? I tried to force the blush from my face before it was our turn for pictures, but of course that only made me blush more, and I started to feel moisture at my armpits. Suddenly the room felt stuffy and claustrophobic, and all I wanted to do was get out of there.
We posed for a group shot, and then Luke and I had our single dance photo taken. The photographer posed us somewhat awkwardly, with Luke standing slightly behind me, his arm on mine. Normally I would have been ecstatic to have him standing so close, but we both seemed a little uncomfortable, and all of my attention was focused on not sweating.
After the photos, we walked out onto the dance floor. A fast song was playing, and I began to feel a bit dizzy.
“I need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back,” I said quietly.
“Is everything all right?” Luke looked at me in concern.
“Yeah, I’ll only be a few minutes.” I turned and rushed through the crowd, not wanting him to look at me again until I could be sure that I wasn’t the shiny-faced freak I was imagining.
As I pushed through the crowds of couples, I spotted Jill and Nick dancing. Jill had her back to me, and they were several couples away, but I felt a stab of sorrow at the sight of her. She and Nick were practically glued together, and Nick was resting his chin on her bare shoulder. Jill wasn’t wearing her bolero jacket, and seeing her dancing in her revealing red dress made me feel like she was a complete stranger; the Jill I’d grown up with would never have worn something like that. In fact, she would have made jokes about a girl wearing a dress like that—so obviously trying to be sexy and seductive.
I turned away and continued toward the bathroom, but I couldn’t erase the image of Jill’s glaring red dress from my mind.
It would have been so fun to get ready for the dance together, to tell Jill all about what happened with Jason, and now about Luke. She didn’t even know I was here with Luke! I wondered if she would see us together tonight and what she would think about it. Maybe her curiosity would get the better of her and she’d finally talk to me again. Jill never could hold back her curiosity for long.
The thought gave me hope, and I found myself smiling as I entered the ladies’ room. I went straight to the mirror to inspect my face and was filled with immense relief to see that my makeup looked as flawless as when Mom first applied it. My face was a little flushed, but there wasn’t a trace of shine on it.
Thank you, Mom! I inwardly applauded her fantastic cosmetic skills and turned to head for the door once more, when two unwelcome faces appeared before me. Britney and Becka blocked my way, and instead of moving to let me by, they advanced, pushing me farther into the bathroom.
By the looks on their faces, I could see this was the opportunity they’d been waiting for—to get me alone and helpless. I was grateful there were other girls in the restroom as witnesses in case Becka and Britney decided to whip out their claws and inflict a mortal wound.
“So,” Becka sneered, “it’s too bad Jason broke his leg. That must have been so devastating for you.” The look of false pity on her face was almost laughable. “And now this whole thing with Luke . . . Well, I must say you’re dealing with it extremely well, but don’t worry—it will be our little secret.” Becka said the last part in a stage whisper. She had put on such a dramatic performance that the restroom fell silent and the girls around us began to watch with interest.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stammered. “What thing with Luke?”
“You mean you don’t know?” Britney exchanged an overly shocked glance with Becka and then took my hand in pity. “Eliza, Jason felt so bad about breaking his leg that he paid Luke to bring you here tonight.”
A collective gasp sounded all around me; Britney had made sure to speak loud enough for everyone to hear. I felt the room start to spin and a sickening lurch in my stomach as I stumbled toward the door.
“I feel so bad,” Britney’s sarcastic words echoed off the walls and followed me out the door. “I totally thought she knew.”
Tears stung my eyes. I needed to escape. Now. I looked down both ends of the hallway, but people were everywhere. I rushed to the closest door I could find that would lead outside.
Stepping into the cool night air, I quickly closed the door behind me and leaned against it for support. After glancing around to make sure I was alone, I covered my face with both hands and let out a shaky breath. It was taking every ounce of effort to keep the tears from falling down my face.
I remember Luke had said something about buying Jason’s tickets, but I must have gotten it mixed up. Luke hadn’t paid Jason; he had been paid. Paid to take me to the prom. This wasn’t a pity date after all. This was worse.
What was I going to do? I had never been so humiliated in my life! The thought of going back in there and facing everyone was unthinkable. Undoubtedly the word would have spread like wildfire by now. The thought of facing Luke was even more painful. I’d actually believed that he liked me; how could I have been so blind?
I swallowed the lump in my throat and considered my options. There weren’t many. I decided I could call my mom to come pick me up and then send Luke a text explaining that I’d left. Surely he didn’t deserve an explanation from me considering what he’d done.
I pulled out my cell, but I felt completely conflicted. I knew what I had to do.
Finding a quiet corner along the building, I bowed my head and silently poured out my heart to Heavenly Father. I couldn’t keep the tears from flowing as I expressed my pain and pleaded for help and comfort. I felt depressed and alone, but as I continued my prayer, I felt the warm companionship of the Spirit fill my soul with peace.
Glimpses of the dreams I’d had suddenly entered my mind. Once again, I saw the remarkable women whose lives were filled with light and purpose. I heard Grandma’s voice, telling me that I possessed a divine nature, that I had individual worth, that I was the daughter of a king.
As all of the memories and thoughts came flooding back to me, a slow smile spread across my face. I thanked Heavenly Father for reminding me of the incredible lessons I’d learned in those dreams. I was His daughter, and I knew He loved me. I had no reason to be ashamed!
After expressing further gratitude, I asked for help with what I was about to do and closed my prayer. Taking a deep breath, I lifted my chin and squared my shoulders. It was time to put my newfound confidence to the test.
Chapter Twenty-Six
As I walked back into the hallway, I immediately spotted Luke waiting a short distance from the girls’ restroom. He had a worried expression on his face, and with a start, I realized that he thought I was still in there. Ten minutes ago I would have been mortified to have him think I could take so long in the restroom, but as it was, I found the situation slightly funny.
He didn’t see me coming, so I walked up to his side and touched his arm.
Luke smiled in relief when he saw me. “Oh, there you are! I was about to have someone go in and make sure you were okay.” He looked at me closely, and then paused. “Is everything all right?”
I ignored the genuine concern in his eyes. It was
going to take all the strength I had to keep from completely losing it, and I was determined not to let him see the hurt I was feeling.
“Yes, everything’s fine, but I think you’d better take me home now. Or, if you’d prefer, I can have someone come pick me up.” I tried to keep the edge from my voice, but it was difficult.
Luke’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “Eliza, what’s going on? Something’s wrong. Why won’t you tell me?” He put his hand on my arm, and suddenly my temper flared.
For the first time, I met his eyes. If he insisted on continuing this charade, then I was going to have to be blunt. “I know about what happened. About how Jason paid you to bring me here tonight,” I stated coolly.
Luke’s eyes widened in surprise. He gave a short laugh, “What? Where on earth did you get a crazy idea like that?”
I looked at the floor as I felt my resolve crumbling. “Britney and Becka . . . When I was in the restroom, they came in and told me.”
Luke’s hand tightened on my arm. “Those two little . . .” He practically growled as he fought to maintain his composure.
He lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him again. An angry flame was burning in his eyes. “Liza, is that what you think? That Jason paid me to take you to prom?” His expression was so fierce that I was almost afraid to respond.
“I don’t know what to think,” I murmured as tears began spilling down my cheeks.
“Come here.”
Luke grabbed my hand and began leading me down the hallway. I’d never seen him react this way, and I wasn’t sure what it meant. Was he mad because Britney and Becka had told me his secret, or was it because he was offended that I believed him capable of being paid to go on a date? Either way, I’d simply made him angry. I wished I’d kept my big mouth shut. I should have called my mom and bailed when I had the chance.
He pulled me through the door and outside the building. No one was around, and Luke pressed me up against the wall, placing his hands on either side of me.
“Listen to me,” he began. His face was so close to mine that I found it hard to breathe. “There’s something I need to tell you and I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but I’m not letting you get away again before you do.” His golden-brown eyes seemed to penetrate into my very soul, and I was so electrified by his words and proximity that I couldn’t move.
“Eliza Moore, I’ve had a crush on you from the first time I laid eyes on you.” Luke’s eyes smoldered with intensity, and my mouth dropped open in shock. He pulled away. “I know how stupid that must sound, but it’s true.”
He stepped back and sat on a bench, looking at his hands as he spoke. “Jason didn’t pay me to take you to prom.” His face twisted. “I asked him if I could take you, and he was cool enough to let me.” He looked almost sheepish. “Jason said he’d had a feeling that I liked you, and after I asked about prom, his suspicions were confirmed. He wasn’t even mad at me. I told him he could punch me if he wanted to, but he just laughed!” Luke smiled and shook his head. “Jason’s one of the coolest guys I know. He said he’d never been exactly sure if . . .” He paused as if uncertain how to continue. “If you liked him more than a friend, and he wanted to talk to you about it.”
I could tell by Luke’s expression that he already knew the outcome of that conversation.
He cleared his throat. “I guess I kept hoping you would figure it out on your own with all the notes and stuff, but after that night on the balcony I realized you probably already knew how I felt and you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
I frowned, trying to make sense of what Luke was saying, and he misread my expression.
“I know”—he smiled wryly—“pretty lame that I still asked you to prom when I knew you didn’t feel the same way, but I couldn’t help myself. I hope you’re not mad at me.”
Crush. Notes. Balcony. CRUSH?
The words seemed to unfold slowly as my brain attempted to decipher the message it was receiving. Could Luke Matthews actually have admitted that he had a crush on me? Me? And what did he mean by notes? Surely not the notes I’d been getting in my locker. Those were from Jason, weren’t they? Had Luke really tried to tell me all of this on the balcony at his house a week ago?
I pinched my arm to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, but the resulting pain told me it must be real. I couldn’t have possibly misunderstood. Luke had been too clear about everything, but my heart still struggled to accept what it wanted most desperately to believe.
After a few moments, I finally found the strength in my legs and moved toward the bench to sit beside Luke.
“Is all of that really true?” I whispered, not daring to look at him.
Once again Luke took my chin and lifted it so he could meet my eyes. “Yes.”
My pulse began racing. “Why me? You could choose any girl you wanted in the school. Why would you pick me?”
Luke laughed. “Don’t you see? That’s exactly why I like you, Liza. You’re one of the most beautiful girls in school, but you don’t even realize it! You don’t act like the other girls who are pretty and know they’re pretty. There’s nothing fake about you; you’re completely sincere, and you stay true to yourself. Do you have any idea how refreshing that is?”
I looked at my hands in embarrassment. I never did know how to handle compliments well.
“There’s something else too. Something I’m not sure I can even describe, but when I look into your eyes, it’s like I’m connected to you somehow. I feel more comfortable with you than I do with anyone else outside of my family.” He snorted. “If I didn’t freak you out enough before, now you must think I’m a total psycho!”
I laughed, and the incomprehensible joy I felt made me bold. I took Luke’s hand in mine. “Well, if you’re psycho, then I guess that makes two of us.”
Luke’s eyes lit up. “Do you mean . . . ?”
I couldn’t keep the smile from my face. “Yes! I’ve had a huge crush on you from the first day I met you too, but never in a million years could I have dreamed that you felt the same way!”
Luke jumped up from the bench and punched the air. “No way!”
I laughed and he pulled me up beside him, taking both of my hands in his. “But what about all the notes I sent you? I thought for sure you would have seen me dropping them off once or twice. And I was always trying to talk to you—you must have known.” He raised his eyebrows as if unconvinced.
“No, I promise I didn’t! I thought the notes were from Jason. And when you talked to me, I thought you were just being friendly.” My eyes narrowed in playful suspicion. “Since we’re asking questions, if you’ve liked me since the first day of school, how come it took you so long to tell me?”
Luke shrugged. “You and Jason had that health class together last semester and he started talking about you from day one. He’s one of my best friends, and I couldn’t tell him I had a crush on you too. But listening to him talk about you all the time while trying not to be jealous was pure torture! I felt like if I didn’t do something I’d lose my mind. So I started sending you the notes.
“Once I realized we had seminary together, it was even harder for me to stay away from you. I tried to find excuses to talk to you, or just be around you. Then, last week at my house when I saw you sitting alone on my balcony, I caved and tried to tell you everything.”
Luke looked guiltily at his feet. “I still feel like a jerk for trying to go after my best friend’s girl, but I was so drawn to you.” He frowned. “Jason should have punched me when I gave him the chance.”
I laughed. “I’m glad he didn’t! As awful as it sounds, I’ll always be grateful to Jason for breaking his leg when he did, otherwise I might never have known how you felt.”
Luke chuckled. “That’s true. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t totally stoked when I realized I might get the chance to take you to prom after all.”
My breath caught again as his golden eyes locked with mine. “And speaking of prom, I better get you back inside b
efore the dance is over. You’d never forgive me if we didn’t dance to at least one song.” He pulled me closer until our faces were a few inches apart. “And to be perfectly honest, I’ve been looking forward to dancing with you all night,” he said in a low voice.
My heart was pounding so loudly I was sure Luke could hear it.
“C’mon.” He gripped my hand, and I fairly floated as I followed him back to the dance, blissfully unaware of anything but the feeling of his hand around mine.
We danced to several slow songs together. Each time his arms went around me, I worried that my nerves would never recover from the euphoric shock that exploded through my body!
There was nothing I could compare it to, this feeling of being so close to Luke, of knowing that he actually felt for me the way I felt for him. It was like taking my first breath of real air, as though all the air I’d breathed up to this point in my life had just been there as a standby, to keep me moving until the real stuff arrived. This new air seemed to breathe life into every cell in my body. It made my heart beat faster, and I felt alive from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. It was life-sustaining, it was incredible, and now that I’d had a taste of it, I knew I would never be the same.
All too soon the dance was over. For the first time, I noticed the people milling around us. There were many intrigued glances and some downright jealous looks as Luke continued holding my hand, but I was too absorbed in my happy place to care what anyone else thought.
“Hey, there you guys are!” Clark called as he and the rest of our group made their way toward us. I pretended not to notice Britney and Becka’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates at the sight of Luke’s hand in mine, but I couldn’t help but feel a little triumphant. “We’re heading to Danny’s house to watch a movie. We’ll see you there, okay?”
Luke shook his head. “I don’t think Eliza and I will make it. I made some other plans and, as cool as you guys are, I don’t feel like sharing her with anyone else tonight.”
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