By the time we made it to back to the duplex, Collin was pacing the floor, hands in his hair. “The hell took you guys so long?”
Kenna flipped him off and raced to the couch, wrapping her arms around Addie…who was crying. Shit. Now I felt bad for being late.
“I called you an hour ago.” Collin jumped in front of me. “When I say I need you all to come over, I—”
“Shut up, Collin,” Addie said on a sob. “Just…shut up.”
The room went silent, other than the sound of Chloe babbling from her room and the air conditioner flicking on from outside. I looked at the clock on their wall. It wasn’t even ten, yet I felt like I’d been awake for hours already.
As if it were his last moment on earth, Collin hurried over to Addie and fell before her on his knees. “I’m so sorry.” He kissed her knees, looking pained as he lowered his forehead onto her lap. “I don’t wanna upset you.”
Kenna looked at me, then Addie, then Collin, before motioning with her head toward Chloe’s door. I nodded, and she stood, following me. I pushed Chloe’s bedroom door open, Kenna on my heels. She clicked the handle shut behind her and leaned back against the door.
“What in the ever-loving hell was that about?” she whispered, not wasting a second before walking to Chloe and pulling her out of her crib.
I grinned at the view, watching flustered, red-faced Kenna snuggle another piece of my heart to her chest—Chloe. “If Collin doesn’t stop being a dickhead, I’m gonna shove my fist up his…” She blinked and looked at Chloe, whose head was bobbling back and forth between me and the lady who held her.
“Mama Addie?” Chloe asked me, blinking her still-sleepy, baby blues.
“She’s talking to Daddy,” Kenna said before setting her on the changing table.
“Dada nigh-nigh?” She looked up at McKenna this time, her lower lip puckering.
“Oh God. Don’t cry, kid,” Kenna groaned.
Shaking my head with a smirk, I came up behind McKenna, wrapping my arms around her waist. She was trembling, nerves from dealing with Chloe—and from Addie and Collin—had her internally freaking out, no doubt.
“Dada?” A tear ran down Chloe’s face when she looked at me from over Kenna’s shoulder.
“Daddy’s getting your breakfast, Beaner.” I reached around Kenna’s waist and rubbed a hand over Chloe’s forehead while Kenna changed her diaper.
She fumbled with the Velcro tabs but kept at it, cussing under her breath the entire time. Collin would have a shit fit if he knew the language she was using around his kid, but Chloe had heard it all before. God knows, she repeated it plenty.
I’m not sure if Kenna was trying to prove a point to me, or what, but she didn’t ask for help, just kept at it. And as I watched, I knew for a fact she’d have it down in no time. If not? I’d be there every step of the way to help. We were a team.
“You’re a natural.” I kissed her shoulder when she finished.
Chloe sat up on her own and reached for me. I pulled her close to me, thanking God I’d picked up my own balls along the way and gotten over my fear of kids and babies.
“You think it’s safe out there?” Kenna bit her lip and looked up at me. I wrapped my arm around her waist as the three of us stared at the closed door.
I shrugged. “It got quiet.”
“Which could mean a lot of things.” Kenna grinned, a knowing look in her eyes.
“They wouldn’t…” I shook my head and groaned. “Fuck that.” I opened the door and walked down the hall, stopping at the sight. On the couch, Addie sat on Collin’s lap, smiling. Max was sitting on the chair, and Lia was pacing in front of the table, shaking her head.
“I can’t… Why would you do this?” Lia froze in front of Max, who looked half-asleep with one arm over his eye.
“What’s going on?” Kenna asked, coming up the hall from behind me. She looked at the couch, at Lia, Max, and finally me.
Chloe wiggled, wanting down. She ran toward Collin and Addie, plopping herself on top of their pile.
“We have to move,” Collin said.
The entire room stilled, including me. I looked at my best friend on the couch and my other best friend on the chair. He was selling the duplex? “Why?”
“It’s bullshit, right?” Lia folded her arms over her chest and looked at me.
“Not like you ever even lived here.” Collin rolled his eyes, moving to sit Chloe in between his lap and Addie’s, who’d moved beside him.
“Move, as in out of the house? Sell it?” I asked, confused.
“We don’t have to move.” Addie looked at each of us, landing on Collin last. She huffed and grabbed his hand over Chloe’s lap. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him. We can stay here until the baby is older. It’s fine.”
Collin shook his head. “What if it’s a boy? This is our first baby together. Don’t you wanna decorate or—”
“How far along are you?” Kenna asked.
“That’s the thing.” Addie tossed her hands up in the air. “I just freaking found out this morning. I literally peed on the stick, came back in to tell Collin, then he was up calling this big powwow.”
Chloe jumped on the couch as she normally did. Nobody moved to stop her, but I was itching to grab her. Pull her close. Protect her.
“He didn’t even tell me what his plan was until fifteen minutes before you all got here.” She covered her face and groaned.
Max laughed from the chair, slapping his knee. “Colly, Colly, Colly. When are you ever gonna fucking learn?”
“Mouth.” Collin pointed a finger at Max, frowning.
Max put his hands out in defense. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Beaner’s already got herself a potty mouth.”
I shook my head. “You do what you want, Collin. But my advice to you?” I pointed my finger at him. “Don’t ever wake my ass up in the morning like that again.”
Frowning, I walked over to still-bouncing Chloe and sat her on the couch. I tickled her belly, smiling as she laughed. She said my name, over and over, her eyes twinkling. It really didn’t matter where we all lived. All that mattered was that we stayed a family. Because that’s what we were. A little dysfunctional at times, but a family all the same. The only one I’d ever known.
“You’re really pregnant?” Kenna asked as if she’d just woken up.
I pulled Chloe onto my hip and turned to find McKenna crying. Addie jumped up, running across the room with a squeal. Together, they bounced around in a circle in the middle of the living room.
I scratched at my beard, looking at my buddies. Collin shrugged. Max rolled his eyes.
Lia flopped down on Max’s lap, wrapping her arm around his neck. “Aww, look at them. Best friends, pregnant by best friends… It’s like a reality show.” She kissed Max.
“You jealous, Lee-Lee? ’Cause there is no doubt in my mind we can catch up, if it’s what you want.”
She grinned, then put her hands on his cheeks. “Nice try. But this baby-maker is not going to be baking tikes anytime soon.”
The room grew loud, everyone talking or laughing. Everyone but Chloe and me, that is. I looked at the little girl in my arms, whose hands were in my beard, tugging softly. Her legs bounced against me, and her smile was like a ray of sunshine, as corny as it sounded. I couldn’t help but wonder: Where would we be without her? She was what had held us all together. Kept Collin, Max, and me a unit even after we got out of the marines. The one thing that kept us sane when we were all struggling with our demons. They say kids change your world, and with Chloe, I couldn’t agree more.
Chloe gave me Collin and Max. Chloe gave Collin Addie. She even gave me McKenna in a weird way. We lived in a twisted circle most might question…except for us, of course.
“I’m making pancakes,” Max announced, smacking Lia on the ass.
Chloe cheered, throwi
ng her hands in the air. I put her down, knowing she’d want to go see her other uncle now—hero Maxwell and his pancakes always won out.
Once Addie and Kenna finished hugging, I grabbed my girlfriend by the hand and tugged her close. She smiled up at me, wrapping her arms around my neck with a yawn, while I put my own arms around her waist.
“You really wanna do this with me?” I asked, thinking I’d dreamed up our conversation last night.
She scrunched her nose. “Do what, have pancakes?”
I kissed her smart mouth and moved my hand to her belly, my voice dropping to a whisper. “Do this with me, I mean.”
She pulled back enough to look around the room, her lips twitching with silent secrets and a wildness I’d never wanna contain. McKenna Brewer was my impulsive everything.
“Yes.” She looked to me again, blue eyes sparkling and wide. “No doubt in my mind.”
Epilogue
Collin
Two years later
In the back of my mind, I knew this wasn’t right. But with two kids, and another on the way, we had to get it when and where we could, even if that meant a secluded alcove in the back of the reception hall at my best friend’s wedding.
“You, sir, are insatiable.”
I kissed my wife on the mouth as I stood, still tasting her on my lips. Sweet, warm…the spot between her thighs was one of my favorite places to be.
Her breathing was strangled, cheeks pink, and her eyes wide in the shadows. One good orgasm, and she’d nearly forgotten her mind…and the fact that Chloe had just taught her sixteen-month-old sister, Maya, how to say the word fuck during dinner.
“If ‘insatiable’ means getting you alone for a little while to eat your pussy, then I’ll wear the title the rest of my life.”
She rolled her eyes as I helped her pull up her panties, knowing she could hardly bend over. Little Man in her stomach was doing all sorts of shitty things to her back. Still, a pregnant Addison Montgomery was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“Did anyone see us come in here?” She brushed her hands down the front of my suit, grinning against my mouth.
“Nah, they’re all still eating.”
She groaned and pushed her hand over the top of her rounded belly. “He’s going to be punching his way out of me at this rate.”
I lowered my hand, rubbing it against the curve of her seven-month pregnant belly. “He’s got lots to catch up on with his sisters. Us Montgomery boys love competition.”
One snort later, she was grabbing my hand and leading me out into the dark hall. “Yeah, and that’s the problem. I can’t afford to cut the school year short because your son has issues with being impatient like his dad. I need this job, Collin.”
I kissed her soft lips once more and pressed my forehead to hers. “I know. You’ll make it.” She worked for the school district in Matoona, lead pre-K teacher—and fucking good at it too. Beaner stayed with her grandparents, both sides, while Maya alternated between Max and my parents—whoever wasn’t busy that day.
Once we were in the reception area, I searched the room for our girls. Dad had them corralled in the corner, just in time for my best man’s speech. Mom was likely getting more beer for Dad because our kids drove everyone to drink.
Max jumped in front of us, dark eyes suspicious and narrowed. “Where the hell were you two?”
I shrugged, no shame as I said, “Eating my wife’s pussy.”
“Collin!” Addie smacked my shoulder.
If I could’ve fucked her, I probably would’ve, but that’d be for later. When I had her alone in bed.
Max punched my other shoulder, then winked at Addie. “I thought you looked a little flushed, Short Stuff.”
She rolled her eyes, but I saw her smile. The sass in her had me all but falling at her feet when she walked toward the head table. Nearly three years later, I was more in love with her than the day I dry humped her against the front door of our old duplex—the one Max and Lia were currently living in.
“You ready?” Max squeezed my shoulder and nodded toward Gav. He was sitting at the head table, Kenna in his lap, her white bridal gown sparkling, and their nineteen-month-old boy, Brody, snuggled against her chest. The mini-Gavin, with hair down to his shoulders, was pretty much the light of my daughters’ lives.
Max and Lia had eloped about a year back, after breaking off the huge shindig my mom had been planning for them. Our mom was pissed, but Lia was happy, so she didn’t hold too much of a grudge. Big weddings weren’t for my sister anyway. And Max? He’d do just about anything to make her happy.
“Think so.” I patted my suit coat and tugged out the piece of paper I’d written my speech on.
He nodded, that Maxwell grin lighting up his face. Missed waking up and seeing him in the morning, but I loved living on the river in the new house we’d just finished building next to Gavin and Kenna’s even more. Max said he’d move to Arlo someday to be closer to us, but for now, they were fine where they were, just the two of them, especially when it meant more alone time as they attempted to get pregnant.
I shuddered at the thought, not wanting to think about my baby sister and her husband’s sex life, even if the end result would be pretty fucking awesome.
Max handed me the microphone at the table. I tapped the end, gaining the room’s attention. Once everyone was silent, I unfolded my paper, then decided at the last minute to ditch the programmed speech and speak from the heart. Addie would be damn proud.
I looked at her, then winked. She blew me a kiss and mouthed, I love you.
“When I first met Gavin, he was sitting in the bunk next to mine during boot camp. He didn’t talk much. Barely even looked at me when I tried to talk to him. I thought to myself, something’s wrong with this guy, so I kept away from him, until Max decided to make it his life’s duty to befriend the quiet dude.” I cleared my throat, looking down at Gav. He was shaking his head but smiled all the same. It could’ve been the fact that his wife was whispering in his ear. Or it could’ve been me. Either way, seeing him happy, when for so long he hadn’t been, was the highlight of the wedding.
“Anyway, the three of us”—I patted Max’s shoulder at my right—“grew to be friends. And then not long after, they became my brothers, sticking by me when life was so messed up I couldn’t see straight.” I rubbed my hand over my mouth, remembering that time, so long ago. “They became uncles to my daughter, the sole reason I survived nine months of raising a child on my own. I don’t know what I would have done without them.” I cleared my throat, a big ball of emotion lodged inside.
“I love Gavin like a brother. And this girl he made his wife today? Yeah, she’s pretty amazing too.” Amazing because she put up with him. His bad moods could be worse than my own. “And today, he got his happily ever after with the one girl who’d been able to make him see reality at its finest.” Fuck, I sounded like an idiot.
“So let’s raise our glasses, and give a toast to Mr. and Mrs. Gavin St. James.” I lifted my glass in the air, looking over the tables. “May they be blessed with a house full of kids and a life filled with happiness.”
“Cheers, Colly.” Gavin toasted me, then Max, then the three of us pressed our glasses together. We drank it all down in one swig and set the drinks back on the table in unison.
One by one, we grabbed our ladies by the hand, hauling them to the dance floor. Some slow song played over the speakers as we moved, and a sense of completion filled me to the core. My wife in my arms, my buddies by my side…my two favorite little girls giggling from the side of the dance floor, watching.
There really wasn’t anything else we needed. Life was pretty damn close to perfect.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Maya, with her dark-brown hair and her mother’s brown eyes, jumped onto the dance floor, followed by a grinning Chloe, and my mom and dad chasing after them.
I shook my head and shut my eyes, pressing my forehead to Addie’s with a sigh. She giggled—God, did I love that sound—and I couldn’t help but laugh too.
Fuck perfection. It was overrated anyway.
Acknowledgments
A few years ago, the voices of Collin, Max, and Gavin showed up in my head and didn’t leave me alone until I told their stories. They put me through the ringer, probably more than they did their leading ladies, but I love them like they’re my brothers regardless. Now that this series has ended—cue sniffles and tears—I feel like I’m losing a piece of myself. My only hope is that these three men and all their crazy antics have given you the same bits of joy that they gave me.
Recklessly Ever After was the hardest book for me to write thus far in my career. Mainly because of what Gavin went through. I channeled him for a long time and went into a dark hole of my own because of it. It wasn’t pleasant, especially since I wrote this book while my husband was battling cancer. But Gavin pulled through his darkness, as did my husband with cancer, and in the end, I think I’m stronger because of it.
Seriously though… Depression has no cure, but there is absolutely no shame in asking for help like I did. Like Gavin did. Remember that.
On a lighter note, I have a million and a half people to thank, so I’ll get right to it.
Chris. You know how much I love you. Without your support, your hard work, your devotion to me and our family, I wouldn’t be able to stay home and write. Without you, I would be completely lost.
Kelsey, Emma, and Bella. My girls. You three are my light in the dark. And though you don’t always understand my tears of frustration or my need to be on my computer for hours at a time when inspiration strikes, you love me unconditionally. Thank you for being the most amazing daughters in the entire world.
Mom and Dad. For obvious reasons. You gave me life and the guidance to be who I am today. Sometimes when it comes to you two, I don’t have words to describe my love.
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