by Nella Tyler
“No, not this weekend. I haven’t talked much to Abigail this week, but I’m thinking we can do something like we did last weekend that involved Soph. She really likes being included.”
“That’s true. I actually met a woman a few nights ago when I was at the grocery store, of all places. We’re supposed to get together this weekend.” He smiled again, his face lit up like he’d just hit the lottery or something. Maybe he had, depending on who this woman was. He’d been looking for someone to spend his time with for months, since breaking up with his last serious girlfriend in the summer. “We’ve been chatting all week. I think this could be something good.”
“That’s great, Brian. I’m happy for you.” I looked down at my watch, which lit an immediate fire under my ass. “Oh, shit, I have to go pick up Soph. I’ll see you Monday. Good luck this weekend.” Now it was my chance to waggle my eyebrows at him and hurry away, leaving him laughing behind me.
I got to the school just as the bell rang. The kids streamed out of the side door shortly after I stepped out of my truck. The older teacher came out by herself, leading both classes. I frowned briefly at Abigail’s absence. Maybe she was busy? Or feeling under the weather?
The smile returned to my face at the sight of Sophia. She waved at me with both hands as she danced from foot to foot. As soon as she got the green light from the crossing guard, she raced across the parking lot to me. I scooped her up into my arms and covered her chubby cheeks with kisses while she squirmed and giggled against my chest. I carried her around to her side, deposited her into her seat, and walked around to my side. I started the truck and got us going before I asked her about her day.
“How was school, monkey?”
“Great!” she said, bouncing up and down in her seat as she kicked her little legs. “Miss East gave me a letter to give you.” She pulled a small envelope out of her pocket and held it out to me,
My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at it. Abigail had printed the letter D on the front, clearly marking it for me. It didn’t seem like this had anything to do with official school business. I took the envelope from Sophia, and she continued talking about all of the fun things she’d done all day. I listened as much as I could, considering my mind was occupied trying to puzzle out what this letter was about.
As soon as we got home, Sophia ran to complete the worksheet she’d been given as homework. I set her up with a mug of hot cocoa and her snack, then went to read Abigail’s letter. It was short and sweet.
I need to speak to you as soon as possible. Ideally, tonight. I wrote a much longer letter earlier this week, but it wasn’t right. I’ll be home all night. You don’t have to call first. See you soon.
I reread the letter a few times, getting more confused the more I moved my eyes over the words. My stomach twisted as a dark feeling fell over my entire body. There was no way in hell this could be good news, could it?
I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket and dialed Brian’s office number, feeling like shit the whole time I was doing it, but I needed to get this figured out tonight. I didn’t want to wait more than a few hours, and I didn’t want to bring Sophia along with me.
“Orion Construction, this is Brian.”
“Hey, Bri, it’s Drew. Can you swing by here for a few minutes after work? I need to take care of something too sensitive to bring Soph along with me.”
“Sure thing. I actually have something to give to her. I’ll run home, grab it, and come by.”
“Thanks, man.”
“See you in a few hours.”
I kept myself occupied with checking Sophia’s homework and then playing a number of board games with her until Brian arrived just before six o’clock. I shot Abigail a warning text that I was on my way and then went out to the truck.
I drove the long way to Abigail’s house, needing the time to get my thoughts in order. But I couldn’t do much preparation without knowing what all this was about. I pulled into her driveway much faster than I’d have liked and walked up to her front door. She opened it before I could knock, looking as nervous as I felt.
“Hi,” I said, trying on a smile that didn’t seem to fit very well.
She didn’t smile back, which made it hard for me to keep up my own cheerful expression. There was a look in her eyes that I couldn’t quite read. It was too dark outside to see her eyes clearly, but I didn’t like what I could see. She was dressed in sweatpants and had pulled her red hair back into a sloppy bun. She also looked like she’d been crying.
“Come on in,” she said, stepping aside.
I went in but stopped right beside the door, which she closed and locked. This didn’t feel like the kind of conversation to have snuggled up on her living room couch. Not that she invited me to sit. She just turned, her posture rigid and eyes closed up tightly as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“What’s going on?” I asked after a few tense, silent moments. I couldn’t wait any longer. If this was bad news — and what else could it be by the pained look on her face and her refusal to touch me? — I just wanted to get it out in the open and over with.
“We can’t keep doing this, Drew,” she blurted out. She shook her head when I opened my mouth to respond, though I had no idea what I was about to say, and continued. “I talked to the principal at my school today and he knows that I’m seeing a father of one of my students. He told me that he can’t risk a scandal at the school and that I either needed to break things off with you or lose my job.”
The uneasy feeling running through my veins morphed into anger. “What the hell gives him the right to dictate what you do in your free time?”
Her face tightened into an even harder frown, as though my words had caused her physical pain. “Drew, I can’t afford to lose my job. It’s not just because I love my students and the work I do. This is the only teaching job I’ve ever had. If I get let go for inappropriate conduct in the middle of a school year, do you know how impossible it will be for me to find another job?” She looked terrified by this prospect, but when I reached for her, she stepped back out of my reach, shaking her head. “I can’t afford to be out of work more than a couple of months.”
“I don’t understand why the two of us dating would create a scandal, Abigail. What does that even mean?”
She wiped at her wet eyes, but didn’t answer my question. She just said, “We can’t see each other anymore. I’m sorry, but I can’t risk my livelihood.”
“You shouldn’t have to turn off your personal life to keep your job, Abigail. That’s not fair to you, at all.”
“Drew, I don’t like this anymore than you do, but what other choice do I have?” She hugged herself more tightly. I wanted so much to pull her into my arms and comfort her at that moment, but she’d already stepped away from me once. I didn’t want to risk it happening a second time. “If you want, I can be the one to tell Sophia that I won’t be able to attend the Valentine’s Day lunch with you.” Several tears ran down her cheeks that she wiped away. “I know how much she was looking forward to that.”
Shit. I hadn’t even thought of that. Soph was going to be inconsolable. She’d been anticipating that lunch for weeks.
I shook my head, suddenly bone tired from the emotional stress of this conversation. “No, I’ll tell her. I just can’t believe this is happening.”
She pressed her lips together as her eyebrows tightened into an injured expression.
“This is really what you want to do?” I asked.
“Of course it isn’t, Drew, but I don’t really have a choice.”
I sighed, long and deep. “This isn’t right, Abigail.”
She didn’t answer, and I decided to leave it at that. I just wanted to go home and lick my wounds in private.
I went back outside to my car, the weight of the world threatening to flatten me into the ground. The cold air was like a slap to the face, but I needed it. I hunched my shoulders into the wind and stomped out to my truck, planning to drive around for a few minutes and get my he
ad right before I went home to my daughter.
Chapter 30
Abigail
Friday
I watched from the window as Drew walked out to his truck. He hesitated at the door, one leg already inside, and stared at my house for a long time. I expected him to come barreling back to my front door. If he did that, I might just let him inside, which would be a disaster. Terry had made it quite clear that my job was on the line if Drew and I kept on dating. I really didn’t have a choice, I told myself. Right? Still, the excuse felt incredibly weak and cowardly inside my own head.
Finally, he hoisted the rest of his long body into the truck, slammed the door, and backed out of my driveway. I didn’t move or inhale until he drove out of sight.
I took a deep, trembling breath, feeling dazed and lightheaded. It was going to take weeks for me to erase the sight of Drew’s injured expression when I ended things. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I really didn’t see another way out of this. I couldn’t afford to lose my job.
I crossed the room to where my cellphone was sitting on the dining room table, next to a glass of white wine I’d poured, but immediately lost interest in. I shot Peyton a text.
What are you doing right now? Can you come over? It’s important.
She answered before I even had the chance to put my phone down.
Just hanging out. Want me to bring food over?
My stomach was too upset to eat anything. I couldn’t even finish the wine I’d poured for myself.
No, just bring your gorgeous self.
You don’t want food?! This really must be serious. See you in ten.
I went to the kitchen to dump out the wine. This really was serious if it was making me waste alcohol. I chuckled unhappily to myself at the stupid attempt at a joke and then tidied up the rest of my living room while I waited on Peyton. My thoughts kept stubbornly returning to Drew no matter what I did. And poor little Sophia.
I felt especially bad about flaking out on the Valentine’s Day lunch. Drew had been upset, but he could at least understand and appreciate the no win situation Terry’s ultimatum had put me in. Sophia would only understand that I’d broken a promise to her. I couldn’t explain about my job and how much trouble I’d be in if I lost it. She was only a little girl. I hated myself for giving her so much hope only to strip it away from her, especially after how rough things had already been in her life. The lunch was next weekend. I decided right then to make it up to her however I could. I’d come up with something before Monday morning when I saw her again.
A flurry of knocks at the door threw me unceremoniously out of my thoughts. I ran to answer it, halfway expecting to find Drew standing on my porch. I hadn’t realized how much I needed Peyton until the relief flooded me at her appearance. I opened the door to her smiling face and burst into tears right then and there.
Her face collapsed into a confused frown, the concern darkening her light blue eyes. She came inside and slammed the door shut with her foot while she reached for me, drawing me into a hug. She held me there, not speaking a word, while I wept like a baby. It felt like I’d been on an emotional rollercoaster since the talk with Terry on Tuesday afternoon. I’d stayed sick with worry and dread, avoiding contact with Drew to the point that I stopped walking out to the car loop with my class, giving Mrs. Wallace the bullshit excuse that I thought I was coming down with something and didn’t want to risk standing outside in the cold any longer than I had to.
As soon as my sobs calmed to hearty sniffles — the tears had soaked the shoulder of Peyton’s jacket by this time — she pulled back, her gaze soft as she assessed me.
“You’re okay, Abs. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together, okay?”
I nodded miserably. I wasn’t so sure about that, but it was good to have her by my side. We’d been each other’s rocks for years and there was no one else I’d rather puzzle this problem out with than her.
She put and arm around my shoulder and led me to the couch. We sat down side by side, snuggling into the pillows. She took my hand and squeezed, bringing my eyes up to meet hers.
“What’s going on? I haven’t seen you this upset in a long time.”
I took a deep, shivering breath, not quite sure where to begin. “I think I just fucked everything up.”
Her light eyebrows twitched slightly, not quite topping off her light frown. “What does that mean?”
“I broke up with Drew.”
She inhaled sharply, surprise coloring her features that slowly changed into disappointment. “What? I thought you really liked this guy.”
“I do! That’s the worst part of it.” I sniffled and blinked my eyes, forcing the tears back with the sheer force of my will. Once the tears restarted, I might not be able to get them to stop again.
“Then what in the hell would make you do something like this?” she asked, her tone gentle, instead of accusatory.
“Terry, the principal at my school, called me into his office on Tuesday and told me that he knew I was in a relationship with one of my student’s parents and that it was inappropriate. He said he would do whatever it took to avoid a scandal.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
I nodded sadly. “He told me I either break things off with Drew or I lose my job.”
Peyton’s face hardened into the stony mask I knew well. She was fierce as hell and would just as soon tear you a new asshole if you crossed her than take the time to explain why what you’d just done was rude or unacceptable. I felt sorry for anyone who pissed her off, but also comforted to have her on my side.
“That’s total bullshit, Abs. Your boss doesn’t have the right to tell you who you can and can’t date. It’s not like you’re dating a student or a married father or anything. Why is this even any of his goddamned business?”
“He saw me talking to Drew in the parking lot during after school pick up a few weeks ago and commented on not wanting a scandal at the school. I don’t know exactly what he thought he saw, but it’s clearly something he doesn’t want happening.” I shook my head, anger flashing inside of me the longer I spent working through this situation. I hadn’t dated anyone this great in months, years even. Drew was an amazing guy and the connection we had was real. I hated that things had to end this way between us.
“Did you mention how fucked up this is to the principal?”
I dropped my eyes, ashamed at how little fight I’d put up. “I just sat there and listened to what he had to say. I’ve been kicking myself all week for not standing up to Terry. But, at the time, I just felt sick.”
Peyton was silent for longer than was like her. I eventually had to look up from my lap to see what was going on with her. She was staring right at me, one dainty eyebrow cocked and a challenging shine in her eyes.
“You have absolutely every right to date whomever the fuck you want, Abs. I don’t think the principal at your school can give you ultimatums like this unless your personal life starts to interfere with your professional life. I already know you’d never allow that to happen.”
“Of course not,” I said, but weakly. I’d wracked my brain all week for evidence to the contrary. Could a coworker have seen something inappropriate in my actions and reported that to Terry? I didn’t see how that was possible. Sophia was excited that Drew and I were getting so close, but she hadn’t said anything that could be defined as inappropriate. Besides the completely innocuous encounter in the parking lot, I couldn’t think of another time that anyone would have seen Drew and me interacting on school property.
“How much do you like this guy?” Peyton asked. She’d made herself more comfortable, folding her legs underneath herself and leaning back into the comfortable couch.
“I like him a lot.” Just saying this out loud made me feel even worse than I already had. We weren’t anywhere near using the L word around each other, but I could feel love blooming inside of me for Drew Reid. I couldn’t believe that I’d lost that easy connection with him fo
rever, and over my job. We’d clicked so easily, and now that was all gone.
“Well, maybe you should consider trying to find another job then.”
My eyes widened with surprise, but Peyton just kept rolling along like the steamroller that she was.
“I’m not kidding. No job is worth losing your personal life over. You weren’t doing anything wrong. I wouldn’t want to work for a guy who kept trying to make outrageous demands over what I did in my off duty hours. You could keep seeing Drew on the sly while you updated your resume and started looking for positions at another school. I can help you.”
I wilted against the back of the couch. “I love Blaine Elementary. Every kid in my class is special to me.”
“They’re leaving at the end of the academic year, aren’t they?”
I nodded.
“Then secure a job for the fall and put in your notice at Blaine. You can finish out the year and then leave. You won’t have to worry about using this asshole principal as a reference if you already have another job lined up.”
I didn’t know how to explain to her that Terry wasn’t an asshole. He honestly cared about his employees and the students. It was why the conversation on Tuesday had come as such a shock to me. It felt like he was only looking out for my best interest — as well as the school’s, of course — which made it impossible to hate him, even though it meant I would lose someone who had become incredibly important to my life.
“I don’t know how feasible all of that is,” I said, my mind still working through the details of Peyton’s suggestion. “And, I really don’t want to leave my school.”
“Then what are you going to do?”
“I already broke things off with Drew. He left about twenty minutes before you got here.”
“You should have talked to me earlier this week before you broke things off with him, Abs.”
I smiled, but sadly. “You would’ve tried to talk me out of it.”
She laughed at that, a fierce light glimmering in her eyes. “You’re damned right I would have! I haven’t seen you this happy about a man in years. I can tell you have something special with him, even if you never introduced us!”