by Nella Tyler
“Call this,” I said. “And then I won’t have to come by your house anymore.” I still wasn’t sure how I’d managed to wander so far on my walk, but I was glad that I had.
Dexter smiled and took the paper from me. “So I’ll see you tomorrow night?”
“Yeah.” I smiled and started to step away from my door before he leaned forward and kissed my cheek.
“All right.” He closed the door.
I stood there for a second, a bit surprised at the kiss on my cheek. I’d missed those tiny displays of affection that came out during the intimate moments of a relationship. The kindness that came from a relationship—that’s what I felt in that small kiss on my cheek. It made me worry for a moment that perhaps we’d ventured into emotional attachment.
I thought back to my conversation with Nina and remembered how confident I’d felt then, saying that I deserved this. I took a deep breath and grinned. I could do this. Without a doubt, I could do this, and it was going to be fun.
In all honesty, I hadn’t been so excited to spend time with a man in a long time.
Chapter 17
Dexter
I spent a long time getting dressed because I couldn’t determine exactly what to wear. I wanted to wear something nicer than what I’d worn on the first date, but I didn’t want to go overboard either. When I finally did decide on something to wear, I took a few moments to mentally prepare myself for the task at hand.
I hadn’t expected her to come back. When I went most of the day Friday without hearing from her, I’d fully expected that she’d simply vanished, and I’d nearly come to terms with that. Now she wanted to see me again, and I could only assume that she meant sex. I genuinely wanted to spend time with her, though. The sex was phenomenal, of course, but her company was just as delightful to keep.
And this didn’t mean that she wasn’t going back on Sunday. She’d told me herself that she was going back on Sunday anyway. That meant that the attachment I’d built up was probably unhealthy and likely to end in some kind of torment. Maybe she could see me for a week and not build a need, a relationship, but I had already devoted too much of my thoughts to her.
When I arrived at the hotel, I knew it was already too late to go back. I could step out now and watch her leave, but I’d kick myself in the head every day for the rest of my life for letting her go so easily.
I went up to her room and knocked on the door. Nina answered it, grinning widely. I imagined she’d probably had something to do with Briella coming around in the first place. Why Nina cared so much that Briella and I were involved was beyond me.
“Hey, you.” Nina kept herself in the doorway. “Bri’s still getting ready.”
“Do you want me to come back later?”
“Nope. You stay where you are.” The way she looked me over never ceased to make me feel uncomfortable, but I knew it was mostly in jest. “I’m glad that you two are going out tonight. Although I am short a wingman.”
“A wingman?”
“Yeah. Bri’s my wingman. When you go to new places you can say anything you want about yourself, as long as someone with you can back you up,” Nina said.
“Ignore her!” Briella called.
I laughed. I highly, highly doubted that Briella had lied about anything she’d told me about herself. If that were the case, she could have pretended to be from an incredibly affluent family or something. Instead, she’d been honest because she’d been kind enough to know that it wouldn’t make a difference to me. “You should try The Amelie. A lot of single guys there.”
“Maybe. Oh, you know what? Do you have a brother?” Nina asked.
I could see Briella emerging from the bedroom behind her. “That’s enough!” she called.
“I do,” I said. “He’s a few years younger than me.” This was hilarious, and I wanted to keep this banter up. Besides, if Tyler somehow found out that I hadn’t even attempted to get him a date, he’d probably kill me in my sleep.
“Do you think he’s into—” Nina was cut off by Briella forcibly pushing past her.
“That’s enough, that’s enough; good night, Nina, have a good time.” Briella stepped out of the room and abruptly closed the door in her friend’s face.
I was still grinning.
“Do not encourage her,” Briella stated, jabbing my chest with her finger.
I raised my hands in mock surrender. “I won’t,” I said. She stepped back, and I noticed that she’d put together yet another beautiful outfit. “You look stunning.”
“So do you,” she returned. She took my arm in her hand. “So, where are we off to?”
Her carefree nature made it easy to get to the restaurant without feeling that sense of panic and impending worry over the situation we were in. The jokes she made, the light tone she took, it all suggested that maybe we’d both made up that she was a tourist. Maybe there was no world outside the one that we inhabited at that moment.
I’d made reservations at a restaurant right on the ocean, with a nearby pier. We got seats outside since it was warm but not uncomfortable, and somehow the mosquitoes that usually plagued Florida’s outdoors knew better than to intrude on our date.
“You know, I think I’d just about kill you if you set Nina up with your brother,” Briella said.
I lifted an eyebrow. “Really? That bad?”
“Well, I’m sure your brother is fine. But Nina’s insufferable when she’s happy.” Briella shook her head and laughed. “I didn’t mean that. I meant with a man.”
I grinned, knowing exactly what she’d meant to say. “I know. In all fairness, I don’t think she’d like my brother one bit.”
“Really? Isn’t he just like you, but a few years younger?” Briella gave me a cheeky grin, and I shook my head.
“The opposite of me, almost. He got a music degree in college and couldn’t get a job after, so he decided to be a solo artist, and when that crapped out our father had to give him a job at the firm. Which was a surprise to me, but he does… he does an okay job, I guess. Spends most of his money on parties, though.” It occurred to me that perhaps I shouldn’t be divulging my brother’s life story to someone he didn’t know, but what did it matter? She would be gone in a few days, anyway.
“You’ve never blown a ton of money on extravagant parties?” Briella tilted her head to the side.
“Only once,” I said. “Coming into college, I met some people and wanted them to like me. It did not work very well.”
“People are assholes,” she agreed. “But what do you do with your free time, if you’re not partying like in all the shitty billionaire movies?”
I laughed at her acknowledgment of the stereotype. I didn’t spend my free time doing lines of cocaine off strippers—I had things to do and people to talk to. “I don’t know. I work, mostly. If I’m not at work, I’ll go to the gym. Cook. That’s really about it.”
“You’re a workaholic,” she declared, like a doctor giving a long-awaited diagnosis.
“Yeah,” I admitted. “I guess I kind of am. But it makes my dad happy.”
After we ate, we walked out onto the pier to get some air and see the sun fall over the ocean. Her heels clicked quietly on the wood, and I made sure to warn her before any slats or dips in the pier came up.
“My dad hates when I work too much,” Briella said. “I used to think it was a sexist thing, like he needed someone to be taking care of me to feel good. But I think it’s just that he worries about the stress.”
That confused me. “Does he think you can’t handle the stress?”
“Well, my family has a pretty lengthy history of stress-induced medical problems,” Briella said. “It’s how they think my mother died, from too much stress. Heart complications and all.”
I squeezed her hand and came to a stop. We’d reached the end of the pier, and here we could stand and just let the wind and moonlight wash over us now that the sun had gone down. I thought about what she’d said about her mother. “I’m sorry,” I said.
But I understood. “No, um…no, I understand,” I said. I thought of my mother, what little I remembered of her, and the way that it had felt when she died. Even if I hadn’t been around her often, I’d still very much loved her as my mother. I didn’t feel comfortable telling her about her, not yet. I still hadn’t talked to anyone besides Tyler about it.
Briella glanced at me a bit dubiously.
“I just understand.” I twisted my mouth to the side and looked out onto the water. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d talked about my mother. In passing with Tyler, sure. But not openly and honestly.
“It always feels like there’s more I could have done,” Briella continued. “Like maybe it wasn’t enough, maybe if I’d done one thing differently, she’d still be here.”
I nodded. All I really could do was nod. I’d done nothing, logically, to contribute to her death, just as Briella had logically done nothing to contribute to her mother’s. But that didn’t change the way that it kept me up at night sometimes, wondering if there was something I could have done. Maybe I made her overexert herself playing hide and seek. Maybe she’d stepped in the rain, and that’s why she caught a cold, because I’d forgotten an umbrella.
“That’s why I do what I do,” Briella said. “Well, not specifically wedding planning, although she did love to do that.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “She always wanted to run her own business, be her own woman. Even married to my father, even with her heart problems, she wanted to make her own way in the world. So now, I want to do that for her.”
“You’re doing her justice, as far as I can tell,” I said solemnly.
She smiled at me and lowered her head. “You wouldn’t know that.”
“I do know.” I tilted her chin up and rested my hand against her face, careful not to smudge any of her makeup. “You’re strong, confident, and beautiful. You work hard, and you don’t compromise on yourself. Any mother would be proud to call you their daughter.”
Briella’s smile grew, and she leaned up on her toes to kiss me. When she pulled away, she took my hand on her face in her own hand and held it tightly.
“It’s getting late,” she observed. She looked up at the moon, and I could have stood there for the rest of my life, watching her face in the moonlight.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Do you want me to ride with you back to your hotel?”
Briella bit her lip and smiled almost mischievously. “Actually, I was thinking somewhere more like your place.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“It is my last night in Florida,” she reminded me. She looped her fingers in the belt loop of my pants and grinned up at me. “I want to remember it.”
Suddenly, I couldn’t get back to my car soon enough. We drove home and I did my best not to panic about the possibility of further emotional attachment. She and I were going to sleep together again, probably, and with that came… what? Another night of fun that we could brush off?
I liked her too much for that. I didn’t know that I could even go through with this. Walking up to my bedroom, I thought about turning back and telling her no, goodnight.
When I opened the door, she leaped at me like she’d been waiting for me to turn around, and all my resolve to ever say no to her melted away. I wanted this, badly.
And I was going to have it.
Chapter 18
Briella
I didn’t care that this was my last night in Florida. I didn’t care that I was never going to see Dexter again. The only thing I cared about, the only thing that I could care about, was having his body on mine again. It was the only thing that made sense to me. To erase any doubt that we might be just spending the night talking, I pulled him into a rough kiss the moment he got the door open to his bedroom.
He responded beautifully. He yanked me closer to him, and the rough action thrilled me. Our mouths parted, and at the rough way he bit at my lips and grabbed my waist, I pushed him against the wall to unbutton his shirt. He turned me over and pushed me against the wall, yanking my dress down. When I pushed him back, we knocked over a chair, and I heard us clash against something else on our way to the bed.
He pushed me back onto the bed and fell on top of me before I could even process what was happening. His mouth charted the familiar territory of my chest with even more expertise than the time before. I rolled over on top of him and yanked his pants away, eager to do what I’d wanted to do the first time we slept together but hadn’t gotten the chance.
Before he could guess what I was about to do, I’d taken his erection into my mouth. I didn’t beat around the bush or bullshit my way about it; I cut straight to the chase and placed one hand on his hip to keep him still.
“Fuck. Fuck, Briella.” My name came out of his mouth in a groan, and I knew I’d completely ruined my underwear. I flicked my eyes up to meet his gaze as I pleasured him with my mouth, and after a short time, he threw his head back. Sensing that he was going to come soon, I stopped, not wanting our time together to end there.
“Condoms?”
Dexter pointed to the bedside table. I reached over and grabbed one, then quickly discarded what little clothing I had left. I didn’t want to mess around with foreplay. I wanted him inside me immediately. His hands grabbed at my breasts, and the sensation only intensified my need. I rocked against his hips a few times, knees planted firmly on the bed, before finally, I angled us just right.
He was fully seated inside me within seconds. I moaned and was almost certain everyone in the world could hear me. Dexter thrust upwards, and I shouted at the way it felt.
I moved my hips, fucking myself on him, and he thrust upwards to meet me when I came down.
“God, yes. Yes.” I couldn’t get a hold of myself. He grabbed my hips with his hands and became almost forceful with how he slammed himself up into me. “God, yes.” I gripped the sheets in my hands and felt the world around me start to fade. Everything slipped from view and my body felt like a vessel meant only for pleasure.
When my climax came, I nearly cried, grinding down hard against his hips. I heard him climax, too, felt his erection jerk inside me, and when I opened my eyes—when had I closed them?—he had closed his; head back, mouth open in complete and breathless pleasure.
It wasn’t like the first time we’d slept together, with gentle nudging gestures and careful fingers. I thought that maybe my stomach was rearranged now, like maybe I needed to put my brains back in my head. I swung off of him, offering a slight moan at the sensation of him leaving my body.
And for a time, neither of us spoke, trying to catch our breath.
“You’re unbelievable, Briella,” Dexter said.
I glanced at him, naked, panting, a practical god of sex sprawled across his bed. I believed him at that moment. “So are you,” I said.
We got ourselves sorted out, and I asked him if I could borrow some of his clothes. He let me take a clean pair of boxers and one of his T-shirts, and he put on a pair of sweatpants, choosing to go without a shirt. I returned to his bed.
I had no idea what time it was, but it had to be late. I thought of the next day, and the flight I needed to catch in the morning. Dread filled my stomach as I thought about what I’d just done, and how I’d never get to do it again.
As if reading my mind, Dexter said, “I don’t want this to end. You and me, I mean. I don’t… I know it’s selfish and stupid and that it wasn’t the point, but I don’t want this to be over tomorrow.”
I couldn’t help but feel relieved that he understood the situation. “Jesus, me neither. I have to go home tomorrow, though. I have to go back to Houston, and there’s... I mean, there’s really no practical way to keep this up.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, and then he pulled me closer to him
. I wrapped my arms around him, and it felt all too familiar to be consistent with what I was saying. I tucked my head against his chest and took a deep breath.
Before we could say anything more, before we could break the spell we’d cast over that room to make it so perfectly quiet, I fell asleep against his chest.
Chapter 19
Dexter
When I woke up the next morning, Briella was still in my arms. I had my head buried in her hair, and I lifted it to see that she was still nestled against my chest. It felt right to have her like that. It felt natural. I didn’t want to move and wake her up, so I stayed perfectly still. If I woke her, she might leave. I didn’t want her to leave; what she’d said last night still replayed in my mind. If I’d had been able to dream, if I hadn’t been so completely exhausted, it would have been some nightmare about what she’d said.
It wasn’t practical for us to be together. I knew that. Even if she lived here, if she wasn’t a tourist, it would be impractical at best for us to live together. My father wouldn’t ever approve of it, and I would send the company into chaos. She wouldn’t want to live with the son of a man who had built his empire on racism and hatred. I knew better than to think that her going to Houston was the only reason that we wouldn’t work.
And still, I knew that I would try.
I had just started to go back to sleep when I heard a knock at my door. I shot up in a hurry, eager to shoo away anyone who came by. If it was a business associate, I didn’t want them knowing that I had someone over. If it was my family, I really didn’t want them to know.
Of course, when I opened the door, it was Tyler.
“Dude, I think I might have done cocaine last night. Like, I’m not entirely sure, but there were a lot of girls, and I think I might have done cocaine. Do I look like I did cocaine?” He came galavanting into the house without a care in the world.