by Carré White
“Come in.” He sat in a chair reading. “How are you?”
“I’m well, and you?”
“Better now.”
I closed the door behind me, which was forbidden, and, upon seeing it shut, he rose to his feet leaving the book on the chair. As he approached, I suppressed the urge to walk into his arms, but he sensed my feelings, drawing me to him.
“We’ll be chastised for this,” he warned.
“I don’t care.” I clutched his shirt, burying my face in the woven material.
He lifted my chin, gazing at me with a warmth that made my knees go weak. This was a look I had come to see often. “One little kiss?”
“Little?” Disappointment registered, but I tried to hide it.
“Yes.”
His lips touched mine, while I wound my arms around his neck. I’d been waiting for this with extraordinary patience, and I would not let the moment pass me by without fully indulging in it. It was surprising how soft his lips were, how gentle the caress began, although, once I leaned into him, he held me even closer, deepening the kiss. I let him explore my mouth, as I tentatively delved into his. It was a shame when he drew away, leaving me breathless and shivering, my heart thundering in my chest.
“We should stop,” he murmured near my ear. “It’s only two more days. I can wait two more days.”
I’d never felt more cherished, enfolded in his arms and desired. “It was surprisingly good.”
He chuckled, the sound rumbling in his chest. “I’m glad you thought so.”
I gazed up at him, while he held my face. “I’m so happy you came to stay with us, Guss. I’m so grateful to have met you.”
“If someone had told me that I’d find love again after Sue, I never would’ve believed them.”
“I never thought I’d marry.”
“But you undervalue yourself, darling. There’s nothing wrong with you in the least. Any man who can’t see that is a fool. I knew you’d be a pleasant companion and a thoughtful wife. I can see you with our children, minding them with the same steady temperament I’ve observed from the beginning. Not only that, but you’re warm-hearted and affectionate.” He held me close. “I’ve been given a rare gift. I’d be an idiot to pass it by.”
“But I’ve a temper too. I’m not perfect.”
“I know. I can see your temper when you deal with your sister, but it’s rather humorous.”
“She’s annoying lately.”
“She’s determined to marry.”
“And she will, but at what cost?” He laughed in my ear. “Two more days,” I murmured.
A knock sounded on the door, forcing us apart, as my mother entered. “Hello, my darlings,” she said brightly. “Leona’s put the coffee on. You do want some, don’t you?” She winked at me, knowing full well that she had disturbed an intimate moment.
“Oh, I suppose.” I brushed by her. “Will you join me, Guss?”
He grinned. “Absolutely.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?”
We laughed, as we left the room.
Seeing that the wedding was only twenty-four hours away, I was in a terrible rush the next day, hurrying from store to store, purchasing the items I needed not only for the hotel, but also for myself. It was with this single-minded determination that I collided with someone on the boardwalk before the mercantile.
“Excuse me, sir! I’m so sorry!” It was William Stanford, who smiled politely.
“It’s my fault.”
“William! How are you?”
“I’m well, and you?”
“Very busy at the moment.”
As it was nearly Christmas, there were bells on some of the horses, the sound echoing up and down the street. The thoroughfare was packed with snow, but it had become darkened from the filthy hooves and wheels of conveyances. The boardwalk had been swept clear, although the alleyways were piled three feet high in places.
“I should offer my congratulations. It looks like you’ll be married months before me.”
“Thank you.”
“Is there some reason for the hurry?”
My situation was none of his business, but having known him since childhood, I felt obligated to explain myself. “There’s no reason, other than not wanting to wait. We’ve no need for a lengthy engagement.”
“What do you know of this person’s character? He’s all but a stranger in Cripple Creek.”
I didn’t care for his manner at all, bristling. “Isn’t everyone a stranger? Who here is native, besides the Indians? Everyone has come from somewhere else. People are capable of anything, even after you’ve known them for years,” I said cryptically, referring to Cybele. “I have faith that my choice is a good one. After everything that’s happened to me, I can’t imagine God sending me a rotten apple. This is my one chance at happiness.” I hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but…there it was.
He took my arm, which was surprising, leading me away to where a horse waited. “I have to tell you this, Willow. I’ve been meaning to say this to you for several years now. We were once so close, you and I. Do you remember?”
“Yes.” An image of a schoolyard flashed through my mind.
“When you were stricken with that awful illness, we all thought you would die. I remember wanting to be by your bedside, but my mother forbad it.”
“She’s right for that. You could’ve caught it.”
“I know, I know, but I wanted to be there; I truly did. After you recovered, I wanted to be there for you too. Just like we once were. My family disapproved, especially my mother. She didn't want me to see you. I’m furious with her today, because she ruined something she ought not to. She interfered where she shouldn’t have, and I let her.”
“You don’t need to do this, William.” People had begun to stare, and it was disconcerting. It was obvious we were in the middle of a rather serious conversation.
He looked pained. “I’m happy you’ve found someone you love. I truly am.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ve seen you together, you know. He’s entirely devoted to you. I thought perhaps he might be too old, but your temperaments are well-matched.”
“You’re invited to the wedding. Are you coming?”
“Yes.” His shoulders had slumped somewhat. “I…” he glanced at a passerby…“want you to know that I was wrong. I never should’ve listened to my mother.”
I had waited years to hear these words, but now, they were a nostalgic confirmation of a love long past. He had wanted me, yet he had lacked the courage to act on those feelings, and I had moved on—finally. “It’s not necessary to apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“But there is!” His eyes had watered peculiarly. “I know I hurt you. I’ve seen that look on your face for so long.”
“It’s all in the pa—”
“No, listen,” he asserted. “I know it’s over and done with, but I see you now, and it’s gone. You’re well and happy, as you should’ve been all along. You were just smiling, lost in thought, before you walked straight into me. The collision was entirely your fault, you know.” He grinned slightly.
What was he trying to say? I tilted my head at an angle, staring at him.
“I’m jealous.”
“Pardon?”
“I’m furious at myself for letting you go. When you smile like that, it should be me you’re thinking of. All those years it was me, until he came to town.”
Now I was confused. “I won’t apologize for being happy.”
“I don’t want you to. I want to tell you that I never stopped caring for you. I always wanted to be with you. I…” he looked aggrieved, “wish you the best.”
He’s not happy. He knows he’s marrying a faithless woman.
“If you’re not sure about Cybele, then why do it?”
His eyes widened. “What?”
“This conversation has been perplexing, William. I’ve let the past go, although only recently. You’re right; I
did always love you. You were my first love, but the moment I became ill you disappeared. Then you avoided me every day after. You’re engaged to the loveliest woman in town, and I offer you my heartfelt congratulations.”
“But that part about not being sure…”
“I was just thinking out loud.”
“The invitations have been sent, the dress is coming by freight. It was made in Paris. My sister’s traveling all this way with her family to be here. I’ve purchased land; we’re building a house soon. I’m not able to back out. Then there’s the promise I’ve made to love and take care of her forever.”
“Then all I can say is congratulations.”
He removed his hat, running fingers through his hair. He gazed at nothing in particular, yet his mind was unhappily occupied. There was nothing else to say…and we both knew it. I no longer longed to be in his world, secretly fantasizing about him changing his mind and marrying me instead. Those yearnings had quieted to nothingness.
“Good day, William.”
“G-good day, Willow.”
As I walked away, leaving him standing by the horse, it became clear that he was not happy at all with his life or his choice of bride. But…that was hardly my fault now, was it?
Chapter Twelve
It was mildly surprising how many of the residents of Cripple Creek had arrived for my wedding. There wasn’t an empty slot to tether a horse to, or a place in the field to leave a carriage. Every aisle was filled to capacity, and people stood at the back of the room, the men holding their hats in their hands.
“Now repeat after me,” said Pastor Lloyd. “I, Guss Adam Hindman, take thee, Willow Clair Brady, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward…”
While I waited to say my vows, I marveled at how calm I felt, how at peace I was with my decision. All I had to do was look into Guss’ eyes, and a peculiar, nearly languid sense of serenity came over me. This in turn softened my features, lifting the edges of my mouth into a permanent smile. The dress I wore had been purchased at the mercantile yesterday, a light pink creation with a fitted bodice and long sleeves. The veil was something my mother sewed last night; the sheer white material had been adorned with small fake, pink flowers.
Through a soft fog of happiness, I watched my intended’s mouth move, saying the words that would bind him to me forever. When it was my turn, I repeated the same sentences, until Pastor Lloyd declared us man and wife.
I gazed at my husband, yearning to kiss him, but he drew me close for a brief moment, murmuring, “I love you, Willow.”
“I love you.” His lips brushed my forehead.
Hundreds of eyes were upon us, and everyone offered cheers and congratulations, as we wandered up the aisle towards the heavy wooden doors. I passed my parents who beamed, my sister, as tears flooded her eyes, and Milly and Ellen, dressed in their Sunday best. Mayor Walden and his wife were present, as was William and his family. Cybele was conspicuously absent, which was perplexing, but I hardly had time to worry over these matters. As we left the church, standing outside in the blinding, freezing light of day, bells rang and people tossed rice, while applauding.
I’d always wanted to hide my face, especially when I was in public, but, now, seeing the acceptance of so many and their well-wishes on my momentous day, I did not feel the urge to disappear. Guss held my hand, leading me towards my parent’s hotel, where the reception would be held. The next hour was spent receiving gifts and congratulations and sharing a delicious slice of cake, which I had baked the night before, although Ellen had decorated it with an almond paste icing.
“I’m so happy for you,” said Leona. “But…I’m jealous. Now I want to get married even worse than before.”
I groaned. “I hope we survive the winter having to listen to your complaints.”
“I really don’t see why I have to wait for spring. You have to help me persuade mother.”
“I won’t think of that right now. Can’t I enjoy my special day?”
She had the grace to look ashamed. “Oh, very well.”
I hugged her. “All in good time. You’ll be married before you know it.”
“Congratulations!” Ellen held out her arms. “Give me a hug.”
“The icing on the cake was wonderful, Ellen.”
“I’m glad you liked it. I’ve saved you the top piece for later. It’s in the kitchen.”
“Thank you.”
“You look so beautiful, Willow.”
“Thank you.”
Pa had his hand on my back, and I turned to look at him. “Give your father a hug.”
“I’m so happy,” I murmured.
“It shows. I’m proud of you, Willow. I think you’ve made a good match.”
“I feel that I did.”
“Your mother’s already talking about grandbabies—”
I gasped. “Pa!”
He laughed, “I know, I know. One thing at a time.” He headed for the buffet table. “Now, for another slice of that cake.”
The room was filled with friends, most of whom had already offered congratulations. William, who stood with his mother, glanced at me, his expression unreadable. I’d seen him speaking to Guss earlier, and I couldn’t help wondering what was said. When the cake was mostly eaten and Ellen and Milly had disappeared, returning to the kitchen to clean up, I found myself with my husband, who had a glass of wine in his hand.
“Do you think we’d be missed, if we disappeared down the hall?” he asked.
“Mother has a room ready for us. It’s our biggest with a fireplace.”
His eyes sparkled. “When can we go?”
“I’ll tell her.” I brushed past him, but he grabbed my arm, bringing me near, kissing the side of my face. Our eyes met, as something warm and sultry burned. “They’d better not disturb us for a good long time.”
“I agree,” he chuckled.
I hurried to where mother was in discussion with Mayor Walden’s wife. “We’re off now.”
“So soon? Did you have any wine?”
“We’re taking the bottle,” I lowered my voice, “to our room.”
“Oh, I see. You needn’t bother. I put one there already.”
“I’ll leave this here then. We don’t wish to be disturbed.”
“I’m well aware of that.” She smiled, the edges of her eyes crinkling. “You look lovely, my dear. The service was perfect. Congratulations.”
I embraced her. “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without everyone’s help.”
“I’ll make your excuses, although you need none. Have a wonderful night. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Thank you.” I hurried across the room to where my husband was, although people had already guessed we were about to take our leave. They cheered for us, as shouts and well-wishes rang out. When we were away, strolling down the hallway, I asked, “Did we leave too soon? Were we rude?”
“Not at all.” He stopped before the door, smiling. “Now, I’ll have to bring you across the threshold. A hand went beneath me, as he lifted me off the floor. “Can you get the knob?”
“I’ll try,” I giggled. We were in the room a moment later, facing a blazing fireplace, which had warmed the space considerable. There was a bottle of red wine on a table with two glasses, and the bed had been turned down. “They even brought flowers.” Although, at this time of year, mother had assembled a vase of evergreens instead. “It’s like Christmas morning.”
“That’s not for two days, but I know what you mean.”
He set me on my feet, and I worked to draw the gloves off, revealing a shiny silver band around my ring finger. “Will they really not bother us?”
“That reminds me.” He thrust the key through the door, turning it. “Now it’s locked.”
“What shall we do?”
“Let’s sit by the fire.” He took his sack coat off, draping it over a chair. “Wine?”
“I suppose.” It was strange being alone with him, knowing that we had
every right to be private in this manner. I stepped out of my shoes, which had been pinching my feet. “There were so many people at the church.”
“Indeed.” He handed me a glass of wine, the burgundy fluid sloshing inside the rounded glass. “Come sit with me.”
I joined him on the sofa, while the fire crackled and popped, throwing out softened light. “Here’s to new beginnings.”
“A fresh start.” We clinked our glasses together.
“You were talking to William earlier.”
“I was.”
“I spoke to him yesterday.”
“He said so.”
“I want you to know that—”
“It’s not necessary.” He’d had a sip of the drink, placing the glass on a nearby table. “He’s a troubled man, my love, but that’s hardly our concern. He offered his congratulations, and I have accepted them. I sensed his regret, but that’s his loss. I knew you were special the moment we met. You were a shy, frightened creature, who was scared of her own shadow, but you’re not like that anymore. You beamed at the church. Your smile was brighter than a thousand candles.”
Tears were in my eyes. “Oh, Guss.”
He touched my face. “I’ve never been more proud of you, Willow. I didn’t think I could love you more, but I do. You saved me from a life of loneliness and despair, but I saved you too. You realize that, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Now, why the tears?” He smiled tenderly.
“Because I love you so very much.”
He took the glass out of my hands, placing it with his. Then he drew me into his arms. “I love you, my darling.”
“I thought that luck had forsaken me, but I was wrong. I’ve been blessed with outstanding parents, an irritating sister—but I love her too—and some wonderful friends.” I glanced up at him. “But you…you…”
“What?”
“You made all my dreams come true.”
His lips brushed my forehead. “Not yet, Willow, but I will.”
“Merry Christmas, Guss.”
“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Hindman.”
The End
Epilogue
Six months later…
“Do you think we’ll survive ten more days?” I asked, turning to look at my husband, who sat in bed with a book.