by Carré White
Heloise was reluctant to leave the cozy retreat and face her stern husband. She comforted herself with his admission that he didn't intend on pressing her for...her duties. She had enjoyed the stolen kisses with Albert, and so hoped that Jonathan would be as pleasant. She settled her face into it's familiar, bland mask, then forced herself to get up and walk out of the room.
~*~
As the minutes crept by, Jonathan found himself as nervous as he imaged his new bride must feel, and hoped he wouldn't have to fetch her to the bedroom. He didn't want to scare her, but he would not have a cold wife, not like Georgina would have been. That was one good thing his father had done, making it clear to Georgy's father that no matter what Georgina did, Jonathan would be disowned if he married her. As much as Jonathan hated to admit it, the old man was right, Georgy was a gold digger, willing to trade her virginity for a wealthy husband. Still, how could Heloise be any different, if she was his father's choice?
Before he could fall further into that rabbit hole, he heard the door swing open and watched his wide eyed little bride enter the room. He hardened instantly at the sight of her hair around her like a halo, the thin white gown and robe hiding nothing. Keeping his hands off her was going to be more difficult than he expected, and he was glad he was already in bed.
"Come lie down, Heloise. I promise you're safe." The lantern she carried cast too many shadows for him to read her eyes, and he hated the way she kept everything off her face. She nodded at him and cleared her throat.
"I'm sorry, I need to brush and braid my hair first. It's just in my bag, but I can go back into the other room to not bother you."
"Don't be ridiculous." It came out harsher than he meant and her hands stiffened. His voice softened. "I mean, it won't disturb me." He patted her side of the bed. "Sit here."
She set the lantern down and retrieved her brush. Jonathan watched her sidle up to the bed, and slip under the quilt. They sat on the bed together in companionable silence. He finally looked over to her, and couldn't stop himself.
"Let me. Please." He held his hand out for the brush, and she paused, mid stroke, eyes wide. After what felt like a hundred hours, she finally reached out and handed him the brush. "I know you're tired, and I remember my mother always wanted a hundred strokes of the brush every night."
She turned away from him and he started to brush her long, lush hair. From the crown to the tip, he would slowly stroke each section, enjoying the silk running through his fingers, and the way it curled down her back in long waves, past her waist. It was one of the few memories of his mother he had, of his father brushing her hair every night. He hadn't realized how intimate it was until he was brushing Heloise's hair and imagined it falling around them, while she rode him.
He wasn't going to act on it, not yet, but he could feel the heat of her body and it took all of his will not to just crush her into his chest when her breath hitched, and he knew she was as affected as he was.
~*~
Except for a few stolen moments with Albert, Heloise had never been so close to a man before. She was conscious of his strong body, the heat permeating the blankets, his scent - spicy and sharp -, every stroke of the brush sent shivers through her body. She understood better what Anna meant now, when she'd talked of the passion between two lovers making them do foolish things. She found her breath catching in her throat and an unsettling moisture between her legs.
Heloise had never felt a man's hands in her hair, and he seemed to enjoy brushing it. When he put the brush down, she was torn. She wanted to stop the disturbing intimacy between them, it was all too much, but she found she enjoyed the attention and his touch. When he just ran his hands through it, she had to smother a gasp at his fingers massaging her scalp. She was almost shaking when he stopped. She froze, not sure what she was supposed to do next, when she realized he was braiding her hair. She relaxed and put the tie into his hand when he reached for it. She hoped he hadn't noticed her quiver. He released her braid, and she retreated under the covers. She leaned over and turned the wick in the lantern down, slowly, until the light was finally extinguished. She laid back, still as a board, afraid any movement would bring them into contact, until she finally drifted off to sleep.
~*~
Jonathan awoke with Heloise tucked against him. At some point in the night, she drifted in the bed and snuggled into his arms. Their legs where twined together, and he couldn't bear to move, enjoying her warmth and her soft skin, scented of rose. She woke up with a start, and popped back from him. It took her a moment to remember where she was, and Jonathan stayed still, not wanting to frighten her.
"I'm sorry, Jonathan, I must have shifted in the bed."
He laughed at the scandalized look on her face.
"It happens, we're married."
He swung his legs out of the bed, putting his back to her, putting much needed space between them, before he did something rash.
"I need to see to the animals, can you make breakfast?"
"Of course." She sounded indignant.
He quickly dressed, trying to give her some privacy, and strode out of the house.
~*~
Heloise was flummoxed. Waking with a man was completely different than she expected. His arms were strong and her head fit perfectly against his chest. She could still smell the slight hint of bay and vetiver in the room, mixed with the undeniable scent of a man.
She went over to her trunk and opened it. She frowned at the contents. She should have purchased more sturdy dresses, most of her wardrobe was more suitable for church or light housework. After breakfast, she'd put up her things, and see about getting some fabric.
Heloise went to the kitchen, and pulled a heavy cast iron skillet out. She was grateful that Jonathan had started the fire. She flipped through the larder, and seized a string of sausage. She had perhaps overstated her experience in the letters, and was hoping Elijah and Jonathan weren't expecting any fancy meals. She heard the door open, and Elijah bustled into the room.
"Good Morning! I thought you might need some eggs, so I visited the hen house for you." He handed her a bowl of eggs. "They're laying real fine right now, so you can bake to your hearts content!"
She hid her dismay. She knew how to make apple pie, well, apple pie filling, and that was about it. Still, she'd tucked a cookbook or three into her trunk, and when the men went off to the fields, she'd spend some quality time with them. Once she found Albert and Lavinia together, and she decided to leave, she had Anna show her all sorts of things in the kitchen and house, but it wasn't the same as having years of experience and a well-stocked larder.
Elijah fussed around her, filling a kettle with water and setting it on the back of the stove.
"We both like our coffee real strong. You drink coffee?" She shook her head, her heart sinking. She would just have to assume the store in town would have tea. Elijah pulled out a grinder and a sack of beans, and showed her how he made the coffee. "And let it boil on the back of the stove, til we get back."
"I'll make sausage, eggs and toast. How long will you be?"
"Just a bit more."
She nodded at him and shooed him out of the kitchen. She pulled together the eggs, and threw the sausage into the skillet. This was one meal she was confident about. Remembering the women from the coach, she pulled out a pot and a bag of beans, and started soaking them. She fussed around the kitchen, getting a feel for how it was laid out. When the men tromped in, she had the table set and the food ready. They all sat down and ate, mostly in silence.
They finally set out for the day, a loaded down lunch pail she watched Jonathan prepare. He causally called out as he left, "Oh, that's the last of the bread, you'll want to make more."
She watched them until they were out of sight, and then ran back to the room, digging down into her trunk, pulling out her precious books and brought them into the kitchen. She flipped through them, until she found the recipe. It was very different than relying on a butcher and baker, and Heloise found hersel
f wishing she'd made it before. Still, she leapt into preparing it, and left the little plump balls to rise, her arms aching from all the kneading. She collapsed onto a chair, and looked around the kitchen. It and she were covered in flour and hours had passed. She grabbed a few boiled eggs, wolfing them down and stepped outside.
Elijah had mentioned something about his wife's old garden patch. That was one place Heloise felt confident. She had maintained a lush kitchen garden, and knew she could coax just about anything from the earth. Still, when she turned the corner and saw the massive and overgrown garden she quailed.
Once more, she realized how incredibly lucky she had been. Anna would get some of the neighborhood boys to weed and do chores, and of course it was always maintained. Heloise straighted her drooping back. She knew it would be hard work, but she was not going to let some patch of ground humiliate her. She had to prove right away that she would not be a burden on Jonathan or the farm.
She grabbed a hoe and marched into the beds. She stopped only to run inside and pop some bread into the oven. She paused,and pulled out a heavy dutch oven. The directions were a little confusing, but she got the meat and potatoes arraigned, and shoved them into the oven with the bread.
She went back outside and kept at the garden, until she was interrupted by Elijah and Jonathan. Heloise became very conscious of how dirty and sweaty she was, and tried to be blasé about it to the men.
"Oh my, I must look a fright! I wanted to get the garden put to rights, since we don't have much left of the season, and I want to put up what I can." She hadn't tackled that section yet, but there was a lovely blackberry bramble, and she had done up endless preserves and jams with Anna. She stood there nervously, babbling about what was still established, while Jonathan stared at her and the garden.
He finally turned to Elijah, and said, "We're well set in the fields, let's focus on the garden tomorrow. Between us, we should be able to set it right for Heloise." Elijah just nodded, and winked at Heloise. Jonathan took the hoe from her hands, and then took her hand, frowning at the tender, reddened skin. She pulled her hand out of his and put her hands behind her back, feeling like a petulant child, but not wanting him to see how soft her hands really were. They all went into the house, and Heloise went cold. She'd been so wrapped up in the garden that she completely forgot about the mess in the kitchen, and her cookbooks splayed out everywhere.
The men walked into the kitchen and stopped dead as Heloise slunk into the room. There was smoke coming out of the oven, and flour on every surface. Elijah burst out laughing while Jonathan grabbed a towel and flung open the over, pulling out the blackened bread.
"Oh no, the bread! I forgot." Heloise just stood there, wringing her hands, while Jonathan just stared at her.
Elijah finally managed to stop laughing and said, "Oh girl, have you ever been in a kitchen before? I thought you managed your home after yer ma died?"
Heloise was fighting to hold back the tears, she was a burden after all, just like she'd been back east. She just nodded, and said, "I have! It's just, mostly I didn't do the actual cooking, per se, but I planned the menus! And Anna got me the books, and showed me some things."
Elijah started laughing again, tears rolling down his face, "I thought you made a fantastic apple pie!"
"I do, it's just...Anna made the crust and I made the filling." Jonathan just kept staring at her, and she could feel the weight of his shock and disapproval. She felt a tear slip down her face, and rapidly schooled herself, trying to hide her emotions from the men.
He finally spoke, "Don't do that."
She was proud of the fact that she could speak without a quaver to give her away. "Do what?"
"You make your face so blank, I don't like it." She was shocked he had noticed. No one had ever said anything about her placid face, how she could shut herself down. When Lavinia and Albert finally came to her, her face was cold and expressionless, although she had drawn the line at attending the wedding.
"I..I don't know how to not do that."
"I'm your husband, don't hide from me."
She just nodded, and finally whispered, "I'm really sorry about dinner. I thought I could figure it out, I didn't mean to ruin it." She let the words tumble out, "I know you didn't want to marry me, and I don't want to be a burden, I thought I could do this."
Jonathan moved forward, to stand next to her, and turned to Elijah.
"Old man, see what you can dig up for dinner." He took Heloise's hand, and lead her to the back room. She didn't want to go with him, but forced herself to walk steadily by him. He had her sit on the padded bench, while he pumped some fresh water. He dipped a washcloth into the water, and knelt in front of her, and gently wiped down her tear-stained face. Heloise had never had anyone be so tender to her and it sparked a fresh round of tears.
"Silly little bee." Jonathan's heart constricted, when he looked at the mess she'd made of her hands. He'd never had anyone literally work themselves like that, just to try and please him. He took her hands and cleaned them. He spread some salve on them, and wrapped a bandage around them. "You must take good care of your hands, do you understand?" He softly took hold of her chin and tilted her face to him. "I don't want you hurting yourself over what you think you need to be doing." She gasped as his fingers caressed her face, and he leaned in and kissed her. She couldn't help but stiffen, but relaxed as he simply softly kissed her.
~*~
Jonathan almost stopped as she froze in his arms, but he just kept his lips soft against hers, until she relaxed. He deepened the kiss, wanting desperately to take her in his arms, but forcing himself to enjoy her soft lips, until she parted her lips ever so slightly. He couldn't help but take advantage of her soft mouth, flicking his tongue past her lips, making her gasp. She lost herself in his kisses, not realizing her hands had crept up to his arms and she was pressing herself against him.
He wanted nothing more but to lay her down and lose himself under her skirts, until she came undone, but he had promised he wasn't going to rush her. Her trembling body pressed into him, until he had to lean back.
She looked up at him in a daze and he dropped another soft kiss on the tip of her nose, then stood up. She hastily stood as well and he backed away to give her room. He held his hand out to her and said, "Let's help Elijah figure out dinner."
She took his hand and walked with him to the kitchen.
Elijah looked up at them and smiled. Jonathan enjoyed the rosy blush that swept over his sweet little bride's face. She might have been his father's choice, but she was trying. He wondered how long she would try before begging to go back east, but glancing down at her bandaged hands, and thinking of her fierce concentration on the garden plot, he thought he might be the one to bend first.
~*~
Elijah bustled around the kitchen, and Heloise watched him intently. He made up a batch of biscuits and had them in the oven while she watched in envy. Jonathan helped her clean up the kitchen, while Elijah whipped up what looked like some kind of gravy on the stove. Jonathan stopped and flipped through her books, chortling at some pages. Heloise wanted to snatch them out of his hands, instead pressing her hands against each other under her apron.
Jonathan looked up and said, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, some of this is just pretty fancy."
She made her face relax and said, "Well, I did think I should be a good wife and know how to make you good dinners. So far I've burned the bread and who knows what is going on with the roast."
Elijah piped up and said, "The meat will be fine, just needs to cook longer. We'll let it slow cook overnight, will be tasty in the lunch pail."
"See, Heloise, it's just a little burnt bread and you got lunch ready for tomorrow."
She laughed ruefully at him and herself, then said, "Well, the good news for you is that I really am good at gardening. It's late in the season, but there look to be some good berries I can put up, and then it will be set for the spring."
Elijah pulled the biscuits out of the
oven, and they settled in for dinner. By the time they finished eating, Heloise could barely keep her eyes open. The men chatted companionably while she sorted out the dishes, she fiddled until she finally turned to them and said, "I'm sorry, but I must retire. Elijah, I will see you in the morning."
She went into the bedroom and lit the lamp. She groaned when she realized she still hadn't unpacked her trunk, but was too tired to do anything about it. She sat at the vanity and took advantage of the pitcher of water and basin to freshen up. Heloise found a good solid cotton nightdress in her trunk and slipped into it, hanging her dress up. She would have to give it a good brushing tomorrow, it was terribly dusty. She sat at the vanity, let down her hair, and combed out the snarls.
She started as Jonathan slipped into the room, and felt terribly exposed, since she hadn't slipped into her robe. He came up behind her and picked the brush up off the table.
"May I?"
Their eyes met in the mirror, and she nodded slowly. She watched his face as he slowly ran the brush through her hair, counting the strokes. Every movement of the brush sent shivers down her spine, and she felt her nipples harden. She blushed when his eyes dropped in the mirror. He brushed her hair to one side, exposing her neck, and dropped a delicate kiss on it. The scruff on his face rubbed against her and she was shocked at the welling of emotions, and the moisture she felt between her legs. She couldn't help but go slightly limp in his hands, as he kissed his way up her neck. She leaned back against him and felt his hands slide up her ribcage. She turned her head and he captured her lips. She gasped as his hand raised and slowly cupped a breast, lightly flicking her nipple. He took advantage of her open mouth and deepened the kiss until she was moaning beneath him.
He scooped her into his arms, and carried her to the bed, gently resting her on it. He knelt beside her, lightly running his hands down her face, and leaned in to kiss her again. He paused and said, "Heloise, I don't want to rush you, but if I keep touching you..." He trailed off, and she reached up to him, pulling him to her mouth, letting the passion fill her. She leaned back and said, "Jonathan, I want to be a married woman, whatever that means. And you are..." she choked on the words, but continued, "you are very handsome, and gentle and I don't know what the feelings you raise in me mean, but they want me to keep doing whatever it is that we're doing right now." He leaned his forehead against hers and smiled.