No matter how hard I tried to find an inkling of dishonesty in her voice, I couldn’t. Zacariah was speaking through a pain that could only be represented by truth, which in this case was the death of her best friend.
“Where are you?”
“I’m at home. I mean Essence’s place.”
“Do you want me to come over?” I asked. I never thought I would ever be around Zacariah again, especially if I didn’t have to be, but this was under unfortunate circumstances. I felt I had to be there regardless of what we’d been through. Essence would have wanted that.
Zacariah told me to come over and that’s what I did. When I walked into Essence’s place, Zacariah was in a heap of mourning on the sofa. She was in the fetal position with tissues surrounding her. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was running. I looked at her, feeling sorry for her for the first time ever. Again, this was a feeling I never thought I would have for her. I walked over to the sofa, sitting on the opposite end. It was quiet, too quiet for me.
“You okay?” I asked, thinking that was a dumb question.
She shook her head no. “I can’t believe this, Jaquon. I can’t believe my best friend is gone,” she said with tears trickling down her face. She tried to wipe them before they spilled from her eyes but they were coming too fast.
“I can’t get the image of her out of my head. When they pulled that white sheet back, I saw my friend lying on this cold metal table. Her eyes were closed and her skin was grey, looking like she was ashy or something. Her lips were cracked, and hair pushed back from her face. As much as it didn’t look like her, it was her. No spirit. No anything.”
Zacariah giving a vivid depiction of Essence, whose life had been stolen too soon, was unnerving. I couldn’t bring myself to imagine the image she was describing.
“How did she die?” I asked, wondering if this was an appropriate question at this time.
“She was suffocated. They found her body in an alley with her hands duck-taped behind her. Then they put a plastic bag over her head and duck-taped it around her neck. Whoever did this to her then tossed her body out like she was trash,” Zacariah said, breaking down again. “The police actually thought she was some hooker. My friend wasn’t a hooker. How could they think she was a streetwalker?”
“Well, Zacariah, they did find her in an alley. There are so many women who die a horrible death. And unfortunately she got categorized wrongly.”
More tears streamed as she thought about what I said. She asked, “Who would do something like this to her?”
I moved closer to her, wrapping my arms around her. Her feet fell to the floor as her face collapsed into my shoulder. Tears trickled, dampening my shirt.
“She didn’t deserve to die like this,” Zacariah cried out. She sat up, wiping her nose. She looked at the coffee table and I followed where her eyes went. There was a calendar opened to the month of November, which was two months away. Circled was the week of Thanksgiving.
“We were going to take a trip to Georgia to visit her family. She wanted to surprise them with a long visit. We were going to make it a friend and family time. She was so excited about going but now she can’t go,” Zacariah said.
“Have you spoken to her mother?”
“I can’t bring myself to call her. The last time I spoke to her, Jaquon, I told Mrs. Clemmons Essence may be on her way to surprise her. I couldn’t think of anything else to tell her. And I really thought maybe Essence was on her way there. I thought with everything that went down, she wanted to get away, pushing her time to visit with her family sooner than waiting until November. Oh how I wish she was visiting with them instead of being . . . being dead,” Zacariah said, bursting into tears again.
“Someone has to call them, Zacariah,” I said.
“I gave the officer her mother’s number so they could contact her. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to be the one to have to tell them that their child has been murdered.”
“But don’t you think you can bring them some joy in knowing Essence was planning this surprise for them?”
Zacariah nodded, picking up the calendar. She brushed her fingers over the writing of Essence and then brought it to her chest. She shook her head and began to cry again.
“I’ll call her but I can’t right now. I need some time.”
The both of us lay back on the sofa, taking in the space decorated by Essence. This was her home, which she put her heart and soul into. Pictures of her family and friends anchored a room encompassing her very spirit. It was now I realized the gravity of this situation. Essence was no longer a part of us and it was in this moment I knew I would never see her smiling face again. Yes, I hurt her and maybe even used her at some point, but there was a time I came to like her a lot. That’s why I kept going back to her.
The night I saw her in that restaurant I should have pulled her out of there. I left the club without so much as a good-bye, leaving her vulnerable to whomever did this to her. I felt guilty now because I thought there was a possibility I could have changed this outcome. I could have changed her fate but now I would never know since she was gone.
Chapter 22
Zacariah
When I woke up I saw that Jaquon was gone. I guessed my state of sorrow sent me into a deep sleep. He was nice enough to put a blanket over me before leaving. I sat up and realized the reason why I woke up was due to a knock at my door. I swore I didn’t feel like answering it. So I screamed, “Go away.”
The person knocked again, causing me to get angry. Did they know I found out I lost my best friend today? When I got to the door, I whipped it open, saying, “Didn’t I tell you to go . . .”
It was Fabian standing there dressed very nicely and holding one rose. He was smiling but I wasn’t. Once he saw I wasn’t exactly dressed, the smile left his face. For some reason tears entered my eyes again and began to run down my cheeks. Fabian pushed his way in, closing the door behind him, and walked me back over to the sofa.
“I’m sorry. I forgot about our dinner,” I said sadly.
“It’s okay. What’s wrong, Zacariah?”
It took me a minute to talk. I felt embarrassed for crying in front of Fabian but the stress of losing Essence was causing my throat to feel like it was closing as I tried to hold back my emotions. I knew in order for my throat to open, I had to release this grief that was taking over me. I began to weep again. I wondered if this weeping would ever stop along with the pain I felt.
Fabian grabbed me and held me in his arms. He didn’t bother to ask me anything else. He leaned back on the sofa and pulled me into his embrace. I had gone from lying with Jaquon to now lying with Fabian and I didn’t even care. It felt good to have someone to be with even if that someone wasn’t Derrick.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“Stop apologizing. Whatever is going on has to be serious for you to be in this state.”
More tears streamed because it was definitely something bad.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m here for you. I can stay with you or I can leave if you want to be alone.”
I shook my head, saying, “I want you to stay.”
He stroked my arm, saying, “Okay.”
“And I want to tell you why I’m upset. I just can’t get it out,” I said sorrowfully.
“It’s okay. Tell me when you are ready.”
I sat up from his embrace and took in a deep breath. I felt my throat open up slightly. Now here was my chance to say what I had been trying to say.
“I found out today my best friend was murdered.”
“What?” he asked, shocked, like he knew her. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s still raw you know.”
“Of course it is. It’s going to be that way for some time. I know exactly how you feel.”
“You do?” I asked, wondering what he meant by that.
“I wish I didn’t. I lost my best friend two years ago. Call it him being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“For real?”
He nodded, saying, “We were at this house party having ourselves a good time and he went outside to get some fresh air. He was standing on the front porch with some other people when a guy just walked up and started blasting.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yep. The gunman was a jealous boyfriend after his girlfriend and her new man. Evidently he couldn’t take it anymore and thought it was best that if he couldn’t have her no one could. My friend took a bullet in the neck, which severed his carotid artery. When I got outside to see what had happened, my friend was lying on the porch. I’ve never seen so much blood in my life. That man ended up killing my friend, his ex, her new boyfriend, and two other individuals that night.”
The charismatic, cocky Fabian who walked through my door was now an emotional, subdued man. His heartache was visible, as if the incident happened days ago.
“I’m so sorry for your loss. Did they catch the guy who did this?” I asked him.
“Oh they caught him. After he shot up the porch, he ended up shooting himself in the head,” Fabian said.
“He took the coward’s way out.”
“I know, right?”
“Did you ever think you would get over the pain of losing your friend?” I asked.
“In the beginning, no. My best friend died in front of me. For a long time I kept picturing him lying on that porch with his eyes wide open, struggling to take his next breath. I knelt down to him and gripped his neck, trying to stop the bleeding. He grabbed me, looking at me like, ‘please, help me.’ But it was nothing I could do. I yelled for someone to call the ambulance. At that time I hadn’t noticed the others who were shot. I just saw my boy. I remember his last couple of breaths the most. He died in my arms and it has freaked me out for a long time.”
“I keep seeing Essence lying on that metal table. I almost wish I never identified her. I think it was better to remember her the way she was and not grey and lifeless.”
“I wish I could say the road is going to be easy. Those images never leave you but you can change those views. Look at a picture of your friend every night before you close your eyes. Think about you all’s happier times and I promise with each day that goes by it will get easier to deal with your pain.”
“Right now I don’t even think a picture of her would work. I’m so tired of crying. I know looking at her picture would cause me to weep even more.”
“And do that. You have to grieve. Tears are natural. Even in my grown-man status I cried like a baby over losing my friend. And I didn’t feel less than a man about doing so either,” he said, smiling.
“I’m glad you are here with me. I know this wasn’t what you had in mind when you planned our date,” I said.
“Things happen. We can’t control things. I’m happy to be here for you. And it’s not like we still can’t eat dinner. Have you eaten anything today?” Fabian asked.
I thought about it and realized I hadn’t so I shook my head.
“Okay, I’m going to go pick up our dinner,” he said, sitting up.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“But I want to. Besides, I’m starving,” Fabian said, standing to his feet.
“Where are you going?”
“Let me surprise you.”
I didn’t have the energy to argue with him about it. I said, “Okay,” and watched as Fabian went out the door trying to fulfill our dinner date anyway.
Chapter 23
Kea
I received another dozen roses from Jaquon with a card that read:
To Kea, the woman I love with all my heart. I will send you flowers every day if I have to if that means getting you back into my life. You mean everything to me and I don’t want to lose you. I love you. Jaquon.
I had to smile at the thought. He was definitely trying really hard to get me back. I knew that sounded crazy but the cocky Jaquon living with me weeks back was not the man sending me these flowers today. He was making it hard for me to forget about him. And it didn’t help I still loved him.
I set the vase filled with the flowers down on the coffee table when I heard my cell phone ring. I ran to my room to retrieve it from my tote. I searched the massive bag and couldn’t get to my phone before it stopped ringing. The disadvantage of carrying a large bag was it took you forever to find what you were looking for. Finally finding my cell, I saw I had one missed call and a voice mail message.
I dialed in, and heard, “Hi, this message is for Kea Fields. I am calling from DNA Solution Center in regard to setting up another appointment for you to have your test done again. Please give me a call at 555-7171. Thank you and have a nice day.”
Just when I thought my day of guilt couldn’t get any worse, the nurse from the clinic called to remind me of Derrick being my brother. I sank down on the bed and reeled. How could I have allowed myself to be taken by him again knowing the information revealed to us was that we were kin? I slept with Derrick, my blood. In the heat of passion I didn’t care. Was I bad? Was I trifling? What in the world would our parents say if they found out we were still intimate? Hell, what would people say? I didn’t want any finger-pointing, saying we were committing incest. No one likes to be ridiculed and certainly not for what me and Derrick had going on.
I was supposed to see Derrick again today. Not for sex but to go back to the DNA center to let them know we were going somewhere else to have another test done. I knew it was easier to tell them this over the phone but Derrick suggested it was a good idea for us to do this in person so we could see if it was anybody we recognized. When we were there before, we were too caught up in everything to pay attention to anything. I thought a man could have run up in the center with a bomb strapped to his chest and we would have stood there, wondering what he was about to do. That’s how emotional this situation was and had been. We’d been too blind to see anything lately.
I arrived ten minutes early and stood outside the facility, waiting for Derrick. I thought this was my way of preparing myself to be able to deal with him. But as soon as he turned the corner in his suit, I almost melted. The sight of him enticed me and guilt infiltrated me all at the same time. I hated these feelings I had for him and tried to control my urges, which were about to take me into an erotic state.
“What’s up, Kea,” he said, reaching out to hug me, and I stiffened when he embraced me. He smelled so damn good. My body wanted to mesh with his but common sense was telling me I could never be this close to him again, even in the form of a hug. I guessed in my state of rationalizing everything, I forgot to speak back. Derrick withdrew from me, asking, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m cool,” I stammered.
“It seems like something is wrong.”
“Just nervous about this, that’s all.”
Derrick looked at me suspiciously. I thought he knew I was talking a bunch of BS but he let it go.
Trying to be myself again, I said, “You look nice.”
He looked down at his attire and said, “Thanks. I’m finally getting back in the swing of things with my job. Work keeps my mind off of all this drama going on in my life now.”
I nodded, still feeling nervous.
“Well, you ready to do this?” he asked in anticipation.
I nodded and he held his hand out for me to go first and we headed into the office. When we entered, the kind woman who helped us before was there to greet us.
“Hey, you guys, how are you?” she asked happily.
“We’re okay,” I responded, not saying it believably.
“Did you all come to set up another appointment?”
“Yes and no,” Derrick said.
The woman looked puzzled.
“What I meant by that is we do want another test done. But we have decided to get a second opinion from another facility.”
“You know we would love to assist you again. I hope it wasn’t anything you thought we did wrong,” she said sincerely.
“No, you guys were gr
eat and it’s nothing against your office. We feel more comfortable going with another facility,” Derrick said again.
“Is there anything I can do to change your mind? We can have another person retrieve and process you if you like.”
Ms. Kind Lady is turning into Ms. Persistent, I thought.
“Again, you all were great but we just wanted to come together to tell you this. I know one of us could have just as well picked up the phone and done the same but we thought it was best to let you know in person,” Derrick struggled to say. “Plus we wanted to thank you for what you have done.”
“I appreciate this. Do you know which facility you are going with?”
“Yes, my mother found a place that’s going to do it. We’ve scheduled the appointment already.”
“And where is that?” she asked unrelentingly.
“I can’t remember the name right offhand,” Derrick said, playing it off really cool.
“Well I hope you get the results you are looking for. Our staff is good at what they do. I hate that you have decided to go elsewhere,” she said, giving a phony smile. It was obvious she wasn’t happy about out decision. What reason would she have to be upset anyway? She did her job, or did she? This didn’t make any sense tome.
On our way back to our vehicles, I asked Derrick, “Did you think that was a little pushy?”
“I did. She kept on like she wished we would change our minds.”
“Besides here, have you seen her or anyone else for that matter outside this place?” I asked. “Because I haven’t.”
“Not really, but that woman seems familiar to me. I can’t place where I think I’ve seen her but hopefully it will come to me soon.”
“I’m glad we got this done and out of the way.”
“Now the two of us can grab a bite to eat,” Derrick said.
“I’m sorry but I have something else to do.”
“What’s more important than me?” Derrick asked.
“My daddy,” I retorted.
He held his hands up in surrender. “Dad comes first,” he said, grinning. “So when do you think we can get together again?”
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