Meant to Be Hers

by Joan Kilby

  The tempo built during the instrumental introduction. She couldn’t quite identify the song even though she recognized Finn’s stamp all over it. The audience was clapping and swaying in time to the beat. Finn strode onstage, arms upraised, bathed in lights, and the audience raised the roof with rapturous applause. Carly pressed a hand to her chest. She’d never experienced anything like this in her life.

  Finn leaned across the keyboard to speak into the microphone and the room fell silent. He introduced the band one by one, pausing for appreciative applause. Then told the audience that their encore was a cover of a current hit on the charts. Carly’s outgoing breath joined the general murmur of disappointment. If she only got to hear a couple songs she would have preferred to hear his originals.

  Finn hit the keyboard and her disappointment was forgotten as the band broke into a joyous and uplifting number. The room pulsed with the music and everyone was dancing on the spot. The beat was infectious, impossible to hear without wanting to move and shout and sing.

  A full minute into the song she realized that he was playing the hit by Screaming Reindeer. It was Finn’s song, played his way. The other band had done a great rendition but this was on another level entirely, light-years better. Wow. So that’s what he meant when he said they had the tempo wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be a quiet song. It was supposed to be raucous and merry, to raise the spirits along with the roof. Now she understood the extent of his genius. Soon the world would know, too.

  When it was over, the band left the stage in reverse order, leaving Finn alone at the end, playing the keyboard in an improvised jazzy finish that trailed away to a tinkle of notes echoing the dominant melody until it became softer and softer and softer. The audience held their collective breath until it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Then the lights went out. Silence.

  The room erupted in sustained applause that went on and on. Eventually the house lights came on for the intermission. Everyone groaned but no one was unhappy. Smiles abounded and everyone was talking about the band and especially about Finn, and wondering who he was. Canned music played over the speakers. People headed for the bar.

  Carly found Nora and Bob near the front of the room, hugging each other and smiling and crying.

  “Finn was awesome,” Carly shouted over the noise. She hugged them both. “Can we go backstage?”

  Nora showed her a pass on a lanyard and pointed to a door to the right of the stage. A bouncer with a shaved head and multiple piercings stood guard. “Sorry folks, the exit is that way.”

  “We’re with the band,” Bob said. “Finn Farrell is our son.”

  The bouncer inspected the pass and waved Bob and Nora through. “Not you, ma’am,” he said to Carly. “Not without a pass.”

  “I’m his girlfriend,” she pleaded.

  “That’s what they all say,” the burly man said, crossing his arms over his massive chest. “If you don’t leave I’ll have to escort you outside.”

  “She’s with me.” Finn’s voice was hoarse and he looked like he’d run a marathon. He held out a hand to Carly. She slipped past the bouncer and into Finn’s arms. The door shut behind her.

  “Oh, Finn.” In the dim passageway he held her tightly. His shirt was drenched in perspiration and he radiated body heat like a minor sun. “You did it. You were amazing. All of Seattle is going to be talking about you. Actually, the world is going to be talking about you.”

  “I’m so glad you came.” He kissed her cheeks, her eyes, her mouth. “I didn’t know if you were out there but I sang to you anyway.” He put an arm around her and started walking her down the hall. “Come on. We’ve got champagne on ice.”

  In the dressing room, Carly melted into the background as Finn collected accolades and backslaps from his bandmates. Nora and Bob stood in a corner drinking champagne and beaming.

  Annie handed Carly a glass of bubby, her eyes shining. “We killed it.”

  Carly hugged her. “You sure did. Girl, get ready because you are going places. I love your hair by the way.”

  “Thanks. I feel more like myself.” She glanced across the room. Taylor waved. “I’d better go get him.”

  Carly laughed. She felt a hand on her back and turned to see Finn.

  “The guys are going to grab something to eat and keep the party going,” he said. “We’re all staying at the Marriott tonight. Figured win or lose, we would celebrate our big night in the city. My parents will be there and Joe flew up from San Diego. Will you come?”

  It was the early hours of the morning New York time after a very long work week. What she should do was get some rest so they could talk tomorrow. But never mind that. This was Finn’s night and she wanted to celebrate with him, to savor the first of what she was sure would be many successes.

  “Absolutely, I’m coming,” she said. “I can sleep anytime but it’s not every day I get to hang with a rock star.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  THE RESTAURANT AT the Marriott had been about to close when the band walked in along with their entourage of around fifteen people. But when Finn ordered a dozen bottles of Dom Perignon and share platters of food, the maître d’ told waiters to pull three tables together. The party was on.

  Marla had left Tyler with her mother for the night, and Leroy’s wife Latisha was there, too. Billy was flanked by his girlfriend. Tom had flown up from LA for the night. Joe, with his short back and sides, polo shirt and dress pants, couldn’t have looked more different from Finn but the brothers were clearly good friends judging by the warmth with which they joked with each other. Taylor’s friends had left but Taylor had stayed to be with Annie. He had his arm around the back of her chair and her hand was on his knee.

  The group feasted and drank, riding the high on the success of their show. Tom fielded text messages from promoters who wanted to book the band and everyone was buzzing about a possible tour of the west coast in the fall. They all agreed they would take every decent gig that came their way to build a following.

  Around 1:00 a.m. Nora and Bob went up to their room, pleading fatigue. Before they left Nora hugged Finn hard and Carly heard her whisper, “I love your music. I had no idea.”

  When Finn eased out of her embrace, there were tears in his eyes. “Thanks, Mom,” he said, his voice breaking. “That means the world to me.”

  Joe left around 3:00 a.m., explaining he was used to getting up at five every morning. Shortly after that, Carly noticed that Annie and Taylor had quietly disappeared.

  “I’m hitting the wall,” Carly said, leaning on Finn’s shoulder. “Can I have your key card?”

  “I’m too wired to sleep. Tell you the truth, I’d rather go home,” he said. “To Fairhaven.”

  “Now?” she said, blinking. “There’s no way I could drive. Can you? This is no time to get a DUI.”

  “I’ve only had one glass since we got to the restaurant.” Sure enough, he reached for the water glass from which he’d been sipping the whole evening.

  “Turning over a new leaf?” she asked.

  “I’ve got my sights on big things. I need to stay focused.”

  She pushed a straggling lock of hair off his forehead. “Your life is going to change dramatically.”

  “I’m kinda counting on that,” he said with a small smile. “I’m under no illusions that the path will be smooth but I’m ready to walk the walk.”

  Finn got his bags from the room and checked out while the valet brought around his rental car.

  “Tell me about this intense therapy,” Carly said as they drove through the empty streets of downtown Seattle. “Clearly it did the job.”

  Finn made a turn, heading for the freeway entrance and explained. “By the last day I almost didn’t want to leave, the techniques were working so well.”

  “It’s mind-boggling that it worked so fast,” Carly said.

  “You
’re partly responsible for my quick progress,” Finn said. “The therapist reckons that your idea to get me onstage at the RockAround and turn on the klieg lights jolted free suppressed memories. In between virtual reality sessions he did more traditional therapy, talking through issues and digging into my relationship with my mother.”

  “That must have been painful,” Carly said. “Anytime you combine love and guilt the result isn’t pretty.”

  “I’m going to ask Nora to come with me to a session,” Finn said. “Our fight might have left her with issues, too. The main thing I’ve learned so far is to stop blaming both her and myself for what happened.”

  “I could have told you that. Oh wait, I did.” She smiled and touched his arm to show she was teasing. “I know that’s something a person has to figure out for themselves.” Then she yawned and blinked. “Sorry, I’m so tired.”

  “Sleep if you want,” Finn said.

  “I might do that.” Carly put her seat back and closed her eyes.

  The next thing she knew it was an hour later and they were cruising down Chuckanut Drive. Sleepily, she raised her seat. “You’ve been up all night and you’re taking the long way?”

  “It’s such a pretty drive,” he said. “I wanted to remind you of the beauty of the Pacific Northwest.”

  “I don’t need reminding. I love it.” The endless evergreens, blue water and log-strewn beaches set against a backdrop of snow-capped mountains had gotten into her blood as a child and would always be a part of her. To the west, the soaring Olympic Mountains blushed pink with sunrise. Even though she’d been raised on the east coast, this felt like home.

  “So...” he said, touching her hand. “Are you going to accept my offer?”

  “Which one?” Carly replied. “The house or...”

  “Both, I hope.” He glanced at her and added softly, “We could have it all, you and I, if we gave up our lives in Los Angeles and New York.” He winked. “But we have to want to change.”

  She smiled and looked into his warm, dark eyes. Eyes that had always seen inside her to the person she really was. That, she realized, was why she loved him. Not the romance and excitement he brought to her life although those were wonderful, but the fact that he got her, deep down. He saw the woman who was looking for a home but didn’t want to be confined to it. The woman who drew satisfaction from helping others but didn’t know when she needed help herself. She opened her mouth to speak and he held up a hand.

  “Don’t answer yet,” he said suddenly. “Wait until you see what I’ve done with the place.”

  Carly laughed. “I’ve been away a month and you’ve already changed it? It’s not yours yet, bucko.”

  A thick black eyebrow rose. “Bucko?”

  “Short for buccaneer.” She shrugged. “Well, possibly not but it’s nautical in origin.”

  “Now I’m even more confused,” Finn said.

  “Inside joke. Never mind.” She wondered if he would consider dressing as a pirate this Halloween. Thinking of him in a white shirt showing a bare chest and breeches and boots with a big black hat made her want to fan herself.

  A few minutes later they were driving up South Hill and turning onto their street. Finn pulled into the driveway and cut the engine.

  Carly got out of the car and started up the path. She was halfway to the steps when she stopped dead. There on the porch were two hand-carved rocking chairs. “Finn Farrell, no fair. You’re playing hardball.”

  “Come and sit down before we go inside,” he coaxed. “You like?”

  She nodded because her throat was too full to speak. Reaching out, she took his hand and they sat quietly and looked at the town below and the bay glowing with sunrise. She could imagine them still here in another forty years with their grandchildren playing at their feet. What was harder was reconciling Finn’s coming rock star life with that vision of home and hearth.

  “Are you sure you want to settle down?” she asked. “You’re going to be touring most of the time. Don’t you want to enjoy the moment?” She held her breath, waiting for his answer.

  “There’s only one woman I want to be with, Carly, and that’s you,” he said, answering her unspoken question. Finn brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “My biggest regret for those lost years is that I didn’t try hard enough for you. When I lost faith in myself I thought you were lost to me, too. Now I’ve found you again. You gave me the impetus I needed to change. Sure, I want to ride the whirlwind as long as possible but I want—need—you by my side.”

  “Oh, Finn.” She squeezed his hand. “I’ll be here, beside you all the way.”

  “You know, none of the good stuff may come to pass,” he warned. “The music industry is notoriously fickle. We might be getting excited about what will turn out to be a flash in the pan.”

  “I don’t believe that but even if that happens, it doesn’t matter.”

  “What I can guarantee will last is my love for you,” he went on. “We’re meant to be together. You’re my anchor, my true north. You were the one to guide me home and always will be. Please say you’ll share your life with me.”

  “I will.” Tears blurred her vision and she dashed them away, saying fiercely, “Rich or poor, it doesn’t matter. I love you. I always have and I always will. Whether you’re working in a record store or playing Carnegie Hall.”

  She got out of her chair and climbed on his lap. His hands framed her face as she lowered her mouth to kiss him. Then she buried her face in his neck and breathed in his musky scent while he held her, stroking her back.

  “What about you?” he said, brushing her hair off her wet face. “How are we going to make this work for you? I know your job is important.”

  “I’ll look around for something else or go out on my own,” she said. “Getting the job and winning the big account gave me confidence. If I move west I’d like to make Fairhaven our base and live here, in this house.”

  “That’s what I want, too,” Finn said. “The whole band is here so it only makes sense. And life will be hectic on the road. It will be good to come home to peace and quiet. To you.”

  Carly looked up at the house. “It’s going to be both strange and wonderful to live here. What room will we use? Mine would be cramped with a queen-sized bed but I can’t imagine sleeping in Irene’s room.”

  “As I said, let me show you what I’ve done.” Finn gently set her on her feet and rose. “If you don’t like it, we’ll think of something else.”

  As they climbed the stairs Carly thought back to the night of Irene’s funeral and how Finn had taken care of her when she’d fallen apart. How could she ever have accused him of screwing things up? He was a man who could be relied on. He’d saved her house and handed her his heart. What more could she ask for?

  Finn opened the door to the master bedroom and Carly stepped inside. It was unrecognizable as her aunt’s room. In place of the old white-painted bedstead was a king-sized, hand-carved rosewood bed with matching nightstands. The charcoal duvet, snowy white linens and plump colorful pillows were also brand-new.

  Dragging her gaze away from the bed, she took one look at the walls and laughed. Finn had salvaged her old posters and decorated the room with Savage Garden, NSYNC and a new picture of a prancing Lipizzaner stallion. Her music box and cat figurine stood on the dresser. “You are too much.”

  “We’ll tweak it,” Finn said. “What do you think?”

  “I love it. And I love you.” Carly pulled him down onto the bed. Sinking into the comfy mattress, she was suddenly too tired to think about home decor or anything but sleep.

  Finn wound his arms and legs around her and touched his nose to hers. “I love you, too.”

  They twined together, his voice rumbling softly in her ear. “We’re going to live together in this beautiful house and make music and babies and bake loaves of sourdough and grow vegetables...” />
  “Sounds perfect,” she mumbled, dragging the quilt over them both.

  Finn yawned and snuggled in more comfortably. “This might be the only time for a while that we get the house all to ourselves. We should make the most of it.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” Carly’s eyes fluttered shut and she started to drift off.

  Curled up in bed with Finn, knowing that their whole future lay ahead of them was all she needed at the moment. As Finn’s breath deepened, the birds in the big maple tree started chirping in the dawn. Carly smiled. She’d missed the little rascals.

  * * * * *

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