My eyes open wide and my heart starts to race at the sight of Serina between my legs.
“The fuck, Serina?” I bark, pushing her off of me and standing as I pull my boxers up my hips.
“It’s been so long, and I knew you’d need me. I was right,” she pouts.
“I don’t need shit, bitch. Get the fuck out of my room before you regret it,” I yell, unable to control my shit. I’m two seconds from knocking this bitch to the ground.
“That little girl isn’t gonna do it for you for very long. You need someone who knows how to handle all you need. You need a woman,” she tries to purr.
“A few years ago, a whore tried to get in between a brother and his woman. Any guesses what happened and who won out?” I ask, cocking my head to the side.
“No,” she says, shaking her head and at least looking a little afraid.
“After I fucked her ass for a few hours off and on, I dropped the cunt off at another club,” I chuckle. “No whore messes with a brother and his woman, you better watch yourself,” I warn.
“She’s not your Old Lady. I’m not overstepping my boundaries. I know the rules,” Serina announces.
I charge at her, wrapping my hand around her throat and pushing her up against the wall, causing her head to hit sickeningly hard against the sheetrock. I bend my neck and make sure she’s looking directly into my eyes before I speak again.
“You don’t know what Hattie is or isn’t to me. Stay away from her and stay away from me or I’ll put you down,” I growl. “Do you understand me?”
Serina nods but doesn’t say anything else. I let her go and watch her scramble out of the room. I leave my room shortly after to wash her smell off of my body. I wash with scalding hot water, hoping that it’ll remove the feeling of her lips around my cock. I can’t stop the guilt that creeps in. I didn’t do anything wrong, I was asleep, but I came.
I came down a whore’s throat when the only woman I want is Hattie.
My woman.
Once I’m dressed, I head down to the bar.
I still have a few hours before I can go get Hattie from Sagle, so I decide to see what my brothers are up to. The party tonight will be big. Fury’s pops, MadDog, is coming along with a whole group from his club. They’re the original charter and have business to discuss, probably business involving the Russians we’ve been dealing with the past year. Possibly news of the Bastards, a club we thought was extinct.
So much shit and so many rumors swirling around.
It’s never fucking ending in this life.
“What’s up, Dirty Johnny?” MadDog asks as I enter the bar.
“Not much, old man,” I laugh as a prospect hands me a beer.
I’ve slept and cried all of the tears I have inside of me. Now I’m sitting on my sofa, my overnight bag packed, wearing one of my cutest outfits. I’ve been sitting here for three hours—waiting. I realized when I woke up from my nap that Johnny never mentioned what time he would be picking me up for the party. Now, it’s ten o’clock at night and I’ve been waiting for over three hours for him to arrive. I also don’t have his phone number, so I can’t call him.
A knock sounds on my door and I hurry to answer it. I suck in a breath in response to who I find on the other side. I expected Johnny, maybe even Andy, but instead, it’s Steve—my ex-boyfriend. A guy I haven’t seen in over a year. He’s standing in front of me wearing a light blue polo shirt and a pair of khaki pants.
I stare at him for longer than I should, making it awkward, but I don’t know what to say. He left me. He left me for a girl who had a much better head on her shoulders, and was much more serious about her schooling. He broke up with me via text message, since he was away at college and I was home.
“Hey, Hattie,” he murmurs almost shyly as he shoves his hands deep inside of his pockets.
“Steve, what are you doing here?” I blurt out.
“I’m in town visiting my parents and I ran into Andy. He told me that you need help, that you’ve started running around with the Notorious Devils? Is that true, Hattie? You’re not that kind of girl. I don’t want to see you get mixed up in something like that group,” he announces. My eyes widen in surprise.
Andy. Fucking Andy.
That asshole.
“I’m not running around with the Notorious Devils, Steve,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
“You aren’t? Why would Andy tell me that? It scared me, Hattie, you’re such a good girl,” he murmurs.
It makes my heart break just a little bit, because that’s what Johnny calls me. Even though I’m upset with him, I still want him here. I want to tell him about my horrible day and just be with him.
“I’m dating a member of the Devils, I’m not running around with them,” I say softly. Not because I’m afraid to tell Steve, but because I’m not sure if I’m really dating Johnny or not.
“Dating? Don’t be naïve. Those guys don’t date. They fuck, and you’re just someone this guy wants to fuck on the side. He’s your man, right? Then where is he? It’s Friday night and you’re home alone,” he says.
I bite my bottom lip as my eyes well up with tears again. He’s right. He’s saying everything I’ve been thinking, and I hate him for it. I hate him for being right about what I am to Johnny; a piece he can come to when he feels like it. He’s saying he’s my man, but I’m not stupid. I know what we are, and I know what we aren’t.
“He’s right here,” a deep, raspy voice says from the stairway.
I watch as Steve’s eyes go wide and he gulps before he turns his neck and looks at Johnny, who is now walking up behind him. Then he passes by him and comes to my side, wrapping his hand around my neck and looking down at me, completely ignoring Steve.
“Sorry I’m late, princess. Some friends showed up and I got caught up talking with them. They’re waitin’ to meet you. Got your shit?” he asks.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” I say back, watching as his mouth breaks out into a grin—a gorgeous grin.
“Hattie?” Steve almost shouts.
“Dirty Johnny,” Johnny announces. He doesn’t offer his hand to Steve; rather, he takes a cigarette out of his pack and places it between his lips before he lights it.
“I’m Steve. I was talking to Hattie. I’d like to finish our conversation,” he says, putting his hands on his hips.
Johnny looks him up and down, slowly, then turns to me, cocking an eyebrow.
“You date this tool?” he asks. It makes me smile.
“Yeah, about a year ago,” I shrug.
“You ain’t finishing shit,” Johnny begins. “Take your polo shirt wearin’ punk ass the fuck outta here. I see you sniffin’ around Hattie again and I’ll beat your ass black and blue.”
“Excuse me?” Steve sputters.
“Go get your shit, yeah?” Johnny murmurs without looking toward me. I turn and go to get my bag, straining to hear every word.
“I’m assuming, since you’re here, you want back in my girl’s panties?” Johnny says. I almost choke on a cough as I pick up my overnight bag.
“You won’t be there long. I’m not worried about gutter trash like you,” Steve says. His confidence that used to be such a turn on for me seems pompous now.
“Maybe I’m gutter trash, maybe I’m not. But what I am is Hattie’s man. She ain’t goin’ nowhere, either. So, take your punk ass home to mama, ‘cause no way in fuck would my woman want your pencil dick after she’s had me in her tight pussy,” Johnny says as he lights his cigarette, like he didn’t just say what he just said.
“Trash, fucking trash,” Steve mutters before he moves his head and speaks directly to me. “Make sure you get tested regularly, Hattie. This is the kind of man who is going to give you a disease.” With that, Steve leaves.
Johnny turns to me and I see nothing but rage in his eyes. Pure, unadulterated rage, and it’s focused completely on me.
“Let’s go,” he growls as he snatches my bag from my hand and takes off down the stairs.
We don’t say another word to each other the entire hour-long drive to Bonners Ferry. Johnny’s grip is white knuckled on the steering wheel, and I’m too upset to even speak. I’m frustrated and irritated and pissed off all at the same time. And I’m stressed out about my job, or lack thereof, on top of all of that. So, instead of trying to talk to him, I shut my mouth and stare out the window.
“I’m gonna leave your shit in the car until tomorrow. I’ll get it in the morning,” he grunts.
I don’t respond as I open the door and step out of the car, careful not to fall in my high heels as I try to gain my balance on the dirt and rock covered ground. I start to walk toward the party when I feel Johnny’s arm snake around my middle. He unceremoniously pulls me against him and then turns me and pushes my back up against the car door.
“I didn’t like walkin’ up to your place and seeing some pecker talking to you. I didn’t like how he told you his bullshit about me only fuckin’ you and the look on your face that made it clear you believed him.”
Johnny wraps a hand around the back of my neck and another around my hip. His chocolate eyes are focused on me, hurt radiating through them. It’s not something I ever thought I would see in this man’s eyes.
“Andy told him to come see me. I thought it was you at the door when I answered it. I haven’t seen Steve in a year,” I explain. Johnny doesn’t react, not even a little. “I don’t know what we are, Johnny. You say you’re my man, but I don’t even have your phone number. We’ve only known each other a week.”
“Known you for three years, Hattie. You’ve always been in the back of my mind. The only way I know how to make you believe that I’m yours is to show you. It’ll take time and I’ll prove it, princess. I’m not just in this for your cunt,” he murmurs before he leans down and his lips brush mine. “Even if it’s the best cunt I’ve ever had,” he smiles.
“Johnny,” I gasp, which only causes him to laugh.
“You look hot as fuck. Now, come inside and meet some of my brothers,” he smiles as he moves his hand away from my neck and wraps it around my waist, pulling me into his side.
I wrap my arm around my girl and bring her into my side. She does look hot as fuck tonight, in a pair of skintight pants and a loose tank with a short jacket thing on; plus, her heels alone are making my dick hard. Something’s off, though. She’s not as happy as she was when I left her this morning, and I don’t think it’s all due to that piece of shit who was at her door when I arrived to pick her up.
Brother Andy and I are going to have words here shortly. I understand that Hattie is his baby sister and he’s trying to protect her or some shit, but I can’t have him sending pencil dicks over at all hours to try and get in her panties—my panties, now.
I open the door to the club and cringe slightly at how Hattie must see all of this. I was a lot later than I intended picking her up tonight. MadDog and I started shooting the shit, and before I realized what was happening, the party had started and it was already after nine in the evening.
“Johnny,” she whispers, though I can hardly hear her over the pounding music of the bar.
“This is a party, you’ve been here before,” I shout.
Hattie nods but her eyes are wide as she looks around. This isn’t just any party. There’s no hang-arounds, just brothers, and the original charter from Cali can fuckin’ party. I glance up at the pool table where Serina is straddling some guy, while another one pounds her ass. The bitch loves double penetration fucking. I personally don’t like feeling another dudes nuts against mine. Been there, done that. I prefer double pussy.
“Is she? With two guys at once?” Hattie asks, her innocent eyes unbelieving of all she’s seeing.
“Yeah,” I chuckle as I guide her toward the bar.
I need a fuckin’ drink. I need to get Hattie a drink, too—hopefully get her away from the crazy crowd and with the Old Ladies.
“Have you ever?” she asks.
I freeze in my tracks and look down at her. I don’t have to answer because it must be clearly written all over me. Hattie’s face pales and she immediately looks down at the ground. I don’t think, I grab her chin with my fingers and lift her head up so that I can look into her pretty green eyes. The doubt and uncertainty, the defeat in them kills me.
“I’ve done a lot. You have to understand that. I’ve tried a lot of different things. Look around, this life is uninhibited,” I say, trying to be gentle.
“Do you want to do those things with me?” she asks as she bites her bottom lip.
“You’re young, Hattie, you probably don’t know what you want yet, and that’s cool. You want to experiment, then that’s cool, too. I know that I want you right now. If something changes, if I want to play, I’ll tell you,” I murmur.
Her eyes search mine, looking for something—for what, I don’t know. I’m serious, though. I don’t want anybody else right now. That could change. I like to play in bed, I don’t see that part of my appetites changing anytime soon. But for now, my cock only wants Hattie.
“I don’t know if I could, Johnny,” she says. Her voice is so soft, I can hardly hear her between the bass and the loud people of the party.
“It’s not something we need to talk about right now; it isn’t relevant right now,” I say, trying to ease her mind.
She nods, but I can tell she is uncomfortable. Not the way I saw this fuckin’ night going. I wrap her hand in mine and finish walking toward the bar. I call out for a shot of whiskey and a couple of beers to the prospect who is trying to fill orders as fast as he can. I think about Brentlee and how good she was at being our bartender, how fun it was to have her back there, giving her shit and vice versa.
I turn around and hand Hattie a beer before I shoot the whiskey I ordered. Then I feel a hand clamp down on my shoulder. I turn to see Fury next to me, his opposite hand grabbing two long neck beers as well.
“C’mon, Kentlee’s been dyin’ to meet her—officially,” he grunts.
I pull Hattie behind me again as I follow Fury to a group of tables. The men who have Old Ladies are all hanging around. Not a place I would normally find myself during a party, but I have Hattie now.
I find an empty seat and sit down before pulling her tiny body onto my lap. She falls without protest and I wonder what she’s thinking. The conversation we need to have about how I like to fuck can’t be had at this party, and she’s not ready for it, anyway.
I introduce her to Fury and Kentlee, Sniper and Brentlee, and Vault and Rosie. MadDog is nowhere to be seen, and I figure he’s somewhere getting laid out of the view of Kentlee.
“So, Hattie, what do you do? Are you in school?” Kentlee asks while taking a pull from her beer.
“I uh… I worked at a bank as a vault teller. But I was let go,” she whispers. My whole body freezes.
I dropped her off this morning.
Let go?
“You live in Sagle, don’t you? Maybe you can get a job here, be closer to Johnny?” Brentlee suggests.
“Maybe,” Hattie nods.
The rest of the evening we drink beer and shoot the shit. It isn’t wild and crazy; it isn’t like anything I have ever experienced before at a party.
It’s calm and relaxing. It’s nice.
I know I’m getting laid later, and I’m looking forward to it, but sitting around with my brothers and their Old Ladies, listening to the women’s voices in the background while I shoot the shit with the men—it calms me.
“Gonna take my woman dancing,” Fury announces as he stands and picks up Kentlee, carrying her onto the dancefloor while she yells at him that she’s too heavy.
Sniper and Brentlee take off too, as do Vault and Rosie. All that’s left of our group is Hattie and me. I haven’t forgotten what she said about her job, and I’m ready to ask her more about it.
“Let’s go to my room, princess,” I murmur against the back of her neck.
“I need to go to the restroom first,” she says.
I grin
as she stands and take her to the communal bathrooms down from my bedroom. They’re not the cleanest, but they’re better than the ones in the bar area. I stand and wait for her against the wall.
Something is off with her.
I don’t know Hattie well, but she isn’t as happy as she was this morning. Her mention of being let go worries me, and her obvious discomfort about different sexual desires is concerning as well. Though I never thought she’d be completely open and free sexually, I didn’t think that it would affect her so much.
The only women I’ve been with since high school have been whores. I don’t know if I can do this with her. I like that she’s a good girl, that she’s my girl, but I don’t want a prude.
“She’s a really pretty girl,” Serina says as she walks out of the bathroom with a wide smile on her lips.
“What did you say?” I growl.
“Nothing really,” she shrugs before she hurries away.
That disgusting skank.
I saw her not two hours ago with two guys inside of her, and here she is telling me that she gave Johnny a blow job just this morning. I don’t want to believe her, but I do. I don’t know Johnny and he’s already said some things that lead me to believe he’s not exactly what I thought he was.
It doesn’t shock me that he’s into threesomes, but it does that he’d want that with me. Not that I imagine all men aren’t or wouldn’t be open to it. I don’t think it would matter how comfortable I am with him or anybody else, I don’t have that desire, and I don’t think that I ever will.
I walk out of the bathroom a few minutes after she leaves, after she’s told me that she sucked Johnny’s cock this morning. I feel hollow. I shouldn’t care as much as I do, but I’ve finally got the man I’ve been dreaming about for three years and he’s not at all what I imagined he’d be. My mind made him so perfect, and the reality is that he’s flawed. He’s not perfect, and I have to decide if his flaws are something I can live with or not.
“What’d she say to you?” he asks as soon as we are inside of his room and he’s locked the door.
Rough & Rugged (Notorious Devils Book 3) Page 9