by Criss Copp
Jade chuckles and raises her eyebrows.
“No BOBs at your place?” She asks.
“I share a room with a 43 year-old woman. I can’t risk her waking up to the whirring noises of a vibrator.” I explain.
Jade roars with laughter and it stuns little Ben.
“How much longer do you have to stay there?”
“It’s not mandatory. I just don’t have anywhere else to live at the moment. I’m considering one of the apartments Silas knocked back.” I reply quietly.
“Why does that sound so forlorn?” she asks in response to my less than enthusiastic voice.
“Silas keeps getting upset when I mention it. He isn’t so keen on the idea.”
“Why ever not? You’d be available at nights. Hell, you’d be available to him around the clock.”
And therein lays the issue, he wants around the clock possibilities.
“Well, he wants me to move in with him actually and then we can share the rental.” I explain.
“Oh.” Jade says and grabs a carrot stick this time. “And?”
“I kind of felt we needed more time before taking that step.”
“Damn, you two are painful to hear about. You remind me of someone else.” She chuckles.
“I don’t want to rock the boat. I don’t want to be rejected after taking such an important step I guess.”
“Does he scare you?” Jade asks.
“Sort of.” I sigh.
“His bipolar?” Jade queries.
“No. No, I’m okay with that. I kind of understand his illness. I just, well. He’s very intense emotionally. Not that I’m any different I suppose, but he’s very keyed into my emotions. It’s almost like he uses them as a predictor of his own. Am I making any sense?”
“Completely.” Jade sighs. “Silas can be. Well, let’s be blunt; Silas can be insecure. He alters his moods around the emotions of others really easily. I understand. He uses the way you are portraying your feelings to highlight his own.”
“Kind of.” I groan, “It’s more like he’s always gauging how we’re doing as a couple by how I’m doing though. Like our relationship is based on how he perceives I’m doing. I don’t know. I’m just scared I suppose.”
“He was in love with someone that until a month before breaking his heart was telling him it was forever. I suppose he’s scared it’ll happen again.” Jade offers. “Not to mention he’s been a bit emotionally stunted by his experiences growing up. In some ways he’s a little boy; in others he’s very much a grown man.” She explains.
“I know you’re right.” I nod. “He’s actually pretty perfect for me. I kind of feel emotionally stunted at times, and in almost every way, we’re completely on the same wave length. I just haven’t felt this much for a guy in, well… ever.” I attempt to explain. “It’s a little scary to feel so much for someone so quickly.”
Jade looks at me. Her eyes narrow and her calculating look is perceptively focusing on me. I’m expecting her to say something to hurt me, because I’ve just been verbalizing my fears about the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But she surprises me instead.
“Move in.” Jade says pointing a carrot stick at me covered in hummus.
“Pardon?”
“You definitely should move in.”
“I really? I would’ve thought you’d be against it.”
“No way. I can totally handle someone else taking responsibility for that asshole.” She says.
“What?” I chuckle.
“Oh don’t get me wrong, I love him, but he pisses me off. Especially when he calls my son Reynolds. I hate it. Not to mention he hangs out here all the time with Ben, when it would be better if he could hang with you in the evenings. I’ve only just started having mind altering sex again, and I’ve only got a year before I can no longer do it wherever I want any more. Little Ben won’t stay this little forever.” She points out.
I don’t know what possesses me, since this conversation has had so many twists and turns and given me a completely different insight into Silas’ family already, but I find I need to ask Jade anyway.
“So the sex is better after a baby or before?”
“Now, definitely now.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because I don’t really care what I look like, I just want him to fuck me.” She whispers. “I’m just horny as hell and I really want him badly.”
My mouth is open.
“You better close that thing or you’ll swallow a fly.” Jade says smiling.
I smirk.
“I’d have thought you’d be exhausted.”
“I am, but I still want him. We’ve only been with each other around a year. I fell pregnant pretty much straight away. It’s just another hard and vigorous work out for him anyway.” She says shrugging and snorting.
“Any more kids?”
“Absolutely not.” She throws down. Then she winces. “Sorry.”
“Why?”
“Um… Silas told me you couldn’t have kids, so I shouldn’t be saying stuff like that.” She apologizes.
“I can’t have kids. It’s not a problem, I can still adopt.” I reason, keeping the pain out of my voice.
“That’s really cool. Silas has always wanted to do that too.”
We both smile at each other.
“So what happened exactly?” Jade asks.
“Why I can’t have kids?”
“Yes.”
“I was injured in Afghanistan.”
“IED.” Jade says.
“Yes.”
“How bad?”
I don’t know why, but I decide to show her.
After peeling my jeans down so my ass is out (leaving my panties on though) and lifting my shirt and sweater, I catch Jade reaching forward and then stopping.
“Sorry, occupational hazard. I’m a nurse.”
“You can touch it.”
“Does it hurt?”
“No.”
“They got you good didn’t they?” She says softly as she traces some of the ridges of my scaring.
“Yeah.”
“No wonder Silas thinks you’re so perfect.” she whispers.
“Pardon?” I gasp. Nobody looking at my scars has ever used the word perfect in a sentence.
“You haven’t seen his scars?” She asks, looking up at me.
“No. We haven’t had sex yet.”
“But he’s seen these?”
“In this capacity only, but you can see pretty much everything.” I reason, looking over my bunched up shirt and sweater to see her tracing the lines of some of the scaring.
She pulls back and looks at me.
“His scars are pretty, well; they’re rather ‘impressive’ too. He looks like a shark got a hold of him and shook him. But just at the front of his pelvis. His ass is fine.” She explains.
“Car accident.” I offer up my knowledge.
“Twisted seatbelt.” She adds.
“Shit.”
“He’s okay now. Scars are scars. He’s healed really well. Hell, he fights UFC without any issues.” Jade proudly says.
“I know.” I smile. I’ve already scoured YouTube watching his few fights, before he had his psychotic breakdown.
“I know your scared,” Jade adds softly, “but you two are just so right for each other.” she sighs.
I sigh as well, “I love him, there’s no denying that and I know I can work past my fears. The issues are really mine. I’ve never been in love before and that’s what really scares me.” I explain and pull my jeans up to secure them, before dropping my shirt and sweater back down.
Jade nods and then returns to the issue of my scars, “So what happened inside, I mean what damage?” Jade asks, once again pointing to my scars that are now covered up.
“Intestinal, though that’s fixed now; my right ovary, both tubes and a damaged uterus.”
“He has a habit of collecting girls who have issues with their uterus.” Jade sighs.
I rais
e my eyebrows. That seems like a rather random thing to say.
She notices my look.
“His last girlfriend didn’t have one at all.” She explains.
I didn’t know that, so he’s absolutely serious about not caring about all this shit. It makes me feel a whole lot warmer about everything between us; even the emotional insecurity. It simply goes to remind me that he’s very mature in every other way. However, the twist in the conversation towards his ex-girlfriend now has me feeling the twinges of jealousy.
“Do you miss her?” I whisper.
“A bit. But if I see her again, I’ll slap her really hard.” She responds. She looks at me and must realize she’s said something to make me feel insecure. So she follows with,
“You have nothing to worry about by the way. Silas is the most loyal guy I know. If he tells you he wants you and has left his previous issues behind, you should believe him.”
“I do.” I nod and smile. I’m just a bit nervous.
“Good,” she smiles. “So, what kind of damage to your uterus?”
“A bad infection set in and created scar tissue.”
“Oh, of course.” Jade nods.
“I don’t even get periods, they had to do ablation because the pain caused by the scar tissue during menstruation was extreme.” I explain.
“But you have the ovary so you haven’t gone through menopause.” Jade states.
“Yep.”
Jade is smiling and shaking her head.
“I really get it now. I get why he’s fallen for you.” Jade says.
“You know this?” I ask sheepishly.
“Oh yeah,” Jade nods enthusiastically. “He’s absolutely smitten with you. And you two are so perfect for each other that I could vomit.” She points at me smiling once again.
“I couldn’t have walked in at a better time.” Silas says with Ben immediately behind him.
“You two seriously need to have sex.” Jade blurts out to Silas.
“I beg your pardon?” Silas says smiling. He looks at me, so I give him wide eyed innocence.
“She’s wearing her fingers to the bone and I think that just sucks.” Jade says.
Ben explodes in laughter.
I groan and place my head in my hands and Silas comes over to me to whisper in my ear.
“Are you a bit horny Isi?”
I give him a death stare. We’re nine days into this stupid fourteen day go slow bullshit. Not to mention the time already going slow before that. It’s torturous being in a relationship with a stunningly handsome guy and not being able to do anything about it. It’s making me question everything.
Yes, now that you mention it, I am.
***
Silas’ new apartment near Cal Poly is a one bedroom, two story dwelling within a complex; and it’s costing him $950 a month. That’s a pretty big expense if you’re currently living off your savings. It’s obvious Jade and Ben are doing okay financially, but Silas has made it clear he doesn’t want their assistance anymore; especially since they had been paying for his exorbitant hospital expenses; something I wouldn’t even like to contemplate being responsible for - the resultant bill; it makes me shudder. Ben has been trying to organize some fights for him, and although I’m a little nervous about it, it’s what Silas does and what he wants to do.
All my belongings are stuffed into his apartment; made possible with the help of Hank, who’s apparently begun training with Ben and Silas; an interesting development. He says it’s just to get fit, but I have the distinct impression that he wants to attract more women with a buff body. Hank’s lean for sure. He has a tall and lean surfer’s body, but he could easily pack on some muscle and have those beach babes climbing all over him. The thought makes me chuckle.
“You okay?” Silas asks from the passenger seat. That arrest might have been quashed; but he still doesn’t hold a valid full license here in California, just an M1 license.
“Yeah, just laughing about Hank.”
“He’s doing great. Don’t laugh at him.” Silas smiles.
“I’m not doing it in front of him.” I point out.
The setting sun is casting an eerie pinkish light across the October sky. It’s pretty with the color being picked up by the wispy clouds.
“Are you coming in for a bit or are you heading back?” he asks biting his lip anticipating my answer.
I’ve been heading back around this time. They like us to be in by 8pm; and because Silas had been living with Jade and Ben till now, I’d normally leave for the house around now.
But I’ve got other things on my mind.
“I’ll come in.” I say, pulling over to park.
Once through the door, I’m gingerly taking off my jacket. Since I got rid of the sling yesterday, as it was pissing me off, I’ve just been more careful.
Silas has already thrown his keys onto the bench, effortlessly shrugged off his jacket and then slung it over a chair. He’s now standing behind me, helping me get my jacket off.
He slides it down my arms and removes it, before throwing it over the chair. He hasn’t moved away from behind me, and I slowly turn my head to see what he’s doing.
I barely get to move at all, because his mouth has moved down and pressed against the side of my neck; his body has pressed into my back and his hands have come forward to hold my hips and pull me back into him. I can already feel his erection pressed up against my ass.
My breathing is stalling. I tilt my head to help him gain better access to my neck.
His tongue is tracing a line between my shoulder and my earlobe, and then his mouth is kissing me slowly and torturously behind my ear.
A whimper escapes me.
He says nothing. He just slowly conveys his right hand up my side, under my shirt and then forward; his palm and fingers caressing my scars while he continues to nip, kiss and suck at my exposed neck.
“Silas?” I huskily whisper.
“Mmmm.”
“Please don’t stop.”
He lifts his mouth from my neck, “Look at me.” He demands softly.
I turn my head as far around as I can so that I can see him.
He looks into my eyes and I notice he’s breathing erratically. His nose is flaring and his mouth is slightly open. I feel so desperate for him in that moment that I feel a warmth flooding through my veins and pooling in my abdomen. I lick my lips in anticipation and the movement isn’t lost on him. He leans forward to place his lips gently on mine.
His gentle beginnings quickly escalate to become more possessive. He begins kissing me firmly and sliding his tongue in through my opening lips to taste me. I can feel him shudder as he breathes through his nose and adjusts his kiss in a declaration of his desperate need to devour me. His moaning is resolute and he’s providing every indication that he has no intention of stopping.
His right hand, still flat on my stomach, now slides down into the top of my panties and under my jeans. When his fingers make contact with my bare mound he growls in his throat and presses in with his kiss more persistently, craning his neck to bring his head further around mine to gain better contact.
Then his hand slides further down, till he pushes his fingers through my lips, through my arousal and to my entrance. He cups my pussy confidently and pulls my hips firmly back into his erection.
We both groan and I flinch slightly forward, at least my chest does, nearly pulling our kiss apart as a result.
Silas growls again, kissing me hard and moving his left hand up to my breast, under my shirt once again.
He doesn’t bother going over the cup, he hastily pushes the bra up and levers my breast out from under the underwire, so he can palm my entire left breast at the same time he pushes against my chest so that my back is pressed firmly into him. He’s trapped me to him, and he’s devouring me and setting me alight.
I can’t help it, I’m overwhelmed and need to breathe, so I lever my face forward and look down at where his hands touch me; and when I do he pinches his thum
b and forefinger together to squeeze my nipple before moving his mouth to my neck and biting it, before kissing it and growling into it.
“Ah.” I call out in a strangled tone. This possessiveness is consuming, and my body is desperately responding to his attention. I crave this, his touch his body, his love. He must feel my intense arousal for him, since his fingers are touching me and the knowledge is setting me on fire.
“Fuck.” he whispers. “Can you undo your jeans?”
I nod, realizing his hand is trapped and can’t make any real movement under the circumstances.
“Good girl.” He whispers seductively in my ear.
I whimper at his appraisal.
His fingers over my pussy have pulled back up and are now slowly circling my clit.
“Oh.” I manage to voice.
He’s pinching my left nipple and then palming my breast and at the same time, he’s administering his magic on my clit with his middle finger.
I’m powerless to move from him. He has me trapped against him and I feel so turned on by this fact that I feel an intense burning sensation, like an incendiary device has been set off under my skin, but especially in my pelvis and its burning out of control.
“Oh shit.” I voice huskily and look at the ceiling.
“Come on Isi; show me how you look when you come.” He whispers.
Oh shit, that’s so hot, saying that to me like that; I’m combusting.
“Oh Silas, God.” I say as he reaches further down and around and pushes hard against the my entrance, before pulling back firmly through my slick folds and then back to my clit, where he again presses against my aroused nub with more insistence.
“Kiss me.” He demands huskily.
I abruptly turn my face till his face comes into view and we roughly collide and begin to devour each other. Groaning, moaning and sucking at each other’s tongue and lips.
He pulls back slightly.
“Fuck, I’m going to come just watching you.” He suggests, murmuring against my lips and pushing his hard cock into the crease of my ass.
“Oh fuck Silas.” I return, feeling the build up; the draining of blood from my mind and the pooling of feelings in my pelvis; desire and desperation coupled with a deep burning, penetrating ache that promises pleasure. Wave after wave is building and building.