by Criss Copp
She tears it opens, covers her mouth and then looks at me.
“When, where did this get taken?” she asks.
It’s a profile photo of us in black and white. I’m looking into her eyes and she’s smiling seductively back at me. I remember kissing her seconds after that instant. Jade caught us at just the right moment.
Jade had taken it with her camera before the ill-fated Thanksgiving Day dinner. We were standing outside, having just walked through their garden, locating all the bulbs that were peeking up out of the ground because Isi really likes them.
Later, when Jade showed it to me, I asked her not to show Isi; and I had a copy made into a portrait photo, framed professionally by a local framing studio.
I explain its origins to her.
“It’s beautiful, we look beautiful.” She begins to tear up.
“You two are beautiful.” Jade insists. “Now no tears, I have a gift for everyone.” She shoves her hands under the tree and pulls out soft presents for each of us. She tosses them after acknowledging the correct name on each. Curiously she has one for herself.
There are groans all round and some laughter.
“Really Jade?” I ask. This is just really stupid. I mean it’s also kind of funny, but at the same time it’s embarrassing that my sister has this really weird sense of humor that has to involve us all.
“Yes, really.” Jade replies smiling.
Black t-shirts with bold white writing, TACO across the chest.
Isi is giggling.
“Did you know about this?” I ask her.
“No. But it’s funny.”
“It’s really stupid.” I point out.
“Look what’s written on the back.” Ben groans.
I turn mine around.
Bite me.
“Oh Jesus Jade,” I whine and argue. “This is ridiculous.”
“Put them on everyone, or you’re out of the club. This is the club headquarters and that means you’ll have to leave the house as well.” Jade explains her rules.
Ben gives her an incredulous look. “I live here.”
“Only if you wear that.” Jade says.
“How often?” he asks in a whining tone.
“Today.”
“Thank God it’s not our new mandatory uniform from the frau.” he grumbles, giving her a fascist salute. She knocks his hand down and scowls at him.
“Why doesn’t little Ben have to wear one?” I question.
“He’s neither an orphan nor a castoff.” Jade reasons.
“I think there’s been some sort of a switch here.” Ben begins. “Silas take back your bipolar and stop sharing your mental health issues with your family.”
“Screw you Ben, if she wants it she can have it.” I point at him and smile.
“Off you go, get changed and then return here for the rest of the presents.” Jade argues with us.
In our bedroom I’m watching as Isi laughs her head off at the t-shirts, pulling off her sweater and pulling her shirt over her head and covering up the body she only just now revealed to me. I wish I was throwing her on the bed right now and claiming her instead. But I have something I need to do yet, so I just continue.
“She’s going loopy. I’m not sure if she’ll ever recover.” I complain about Jade.
“She’s just having fun.” Isi says, pulling down her sweater over the shirt.
I chuckle.
“I love that photo.” She says coming over to me and hugging me.
“I love the watch. Especially the inscription, but I’ve got another present for you, so let’s get out there.” I explain.
“I’ve got you more presents too.”
“Really?” I ask her incredulously. I’m feeling so happy today. I love Christmas, but this one is just the best one I’ve ever had. I’m hoping it will be the most memorable too.
“Yeah. Not as expensive as this. Just some fun ones.”
“I’ll let you go first. I want to see what sort of fun you dish up.” I say. But really I want to leave mine for last.
We all open the rest of our presents.
Isi hands me and Ben a present at the same time.
“Open them together.” she explains.
Ben and I are grinning at each other. We know they’re Xbox games. We just don’t know which ones.
Ben tears into his just as I do. “Sweet.” Ben says.
“Farcry 3.” I exclaim.
“You can play online together.” Isi explains.
“I hope I can kick his ass in it.” Ben says, checking the back of the game.
“This received great reviews Ben. We should hook it up later.” I tell him.
“Definitely.”
Isi gives Jade her gift and Jade gasps when she opens it. “This is why I need to have female friends.” she informs Ben.
“Oh honey, they’re nice.” He says before returning to read about his game. Jade smacks him in the back of the head.
“Ow.” He grumbles.
Isi is chuckling as she hands me another rectangular present.
“It’s a book isn’t it?” I quiz.
I don’t do a lot of reading. Not books anyway.
“Open it.” She smiles.
Ben and Jade are looking at me. Jade is smiling. She knows what it is. Ben is looking at me in sympathy. He’s worried for me because he knows I don’t really like reading.
“The Zombie Survival Guide.” I say, reading the heading and breaking out into a huge grin. Ben reaches over and grabs it off me.
“Bloody sweet.” He enthuses and hands it back.
“Holy shit, this is awesome.” I tell Isi. And it is, it’s so fantastic I want to squish her.
“You like it?”
“You have no idea how much.” I reply, once again looking at Ben and grinning and silently telling him that this is just another one of those reasons that this woman is for me.
“You’re always playing zombie games and I thought it would be funny.” She smiles.
Ben and I are still looking at each other and grinning stupidly. I turn back to Isi.
“Come here.” I ask her.
She comes over and I pull her into my lap since I’m seated on the floor and kiss her thoroughly.
“The bedroom’s down the hallway.” Jade says.
I break away and throw some Christmas paper at Jade.
“Jade, grab that little present up the back there please.” I ask. She knows what I’m up to, so she does my bidding and hands it to me.
I take it in my shaking hand and give it to Isi.
It isn’t wrapped, it’s exactly what it is and there’s no disguising it.
I feel the sick strains of nervousness inside.
She’s breathing hard and staring at the unopened little box.
She completely bowls me over and reduces me to a puddle on the floor with the sincere loving look she offers me.
“Is this a ring?” She smiles sweetly.
I nod.
She momentarily bites her lip.
“Is it what I think it could be?” she breathes.
I swallow and nod. I begin to speak, to ask her that all important question and my voice is croaking like a hormonal younger teenager. “I thought I knew what real love felt like; and then I met you. And now I know I didn’t have any idea what it could be like. This is more than I could ever have hoped for. I love you so much Isi. I just want the world to know that you’re mine. I…” and then I choke and swallow, before attempting my request. However, she beats me to it.
“Yes.” she says grinning one of her biggest, happiest smiles.
“Yes?”
“Yes. You don’t need to do the awkward formal asking thing.” she whispers.
“Aren’t you going to have a look at it before you decide?”
“It could be a ring pull from a coke can and I’d say yes.” She explains, pulling it open and looking at the ruby ring. “It’s a ruby.” She gushes.
I look at our audience, which includes a t
eary eyed Jade, a smugly grinning Ben and my nephew sucking on his fist. I return to look at Isi’s beautiful face as she studies the ring before her.
“It was my mom’s ring. Jade has her engagement and wedding rings, but this was a ring my dad gave her on their wedding day as a personal gift. I had to get it resized. Your fingers are really small.” I explain.
She’s breathing erratically and staring at me.
“Do you like it?”
“Damn Silas. I love it, and I love you.” She says leaning in to kiss me softly and slowly on the lips, before deepening it and offering me more. I pull her body into mine and feel the fire in my body burning for her and becoming overwhelming.
Jade is clapping and Ben is telling us once again where the room is.
Chapter 16: Ghosts that go Bump in the Night
Silas.
We haven’t had any incidences or indications that Ethan is onto us or following us since we moved in with Jade and Ben. I feel happier too, knowing that nothing would be able to stop Ben and I from crucifying that bastard if he came anywhere near our women.
My woman…
I’m still feeling the high of yesterday.
She’s mine now, she’s promised to be mine.
Not that I know when that final stage will happen. Jade and Ben are getting married in February. Ben proposed several months ago, and Jade was already several months pregnant at the time.
I want it to be perfect. A small ceremony without her parents present, the main guests being those that currently live under this roof.
Isi and I are off today to visit Dr. Jensen and her partner Bonnie for a luncheon.
I’ve wanted to ask the good doctor some questions and I’m hoping she won’t be averse to answering them at our social gathering.
***
“Welcome and come in.” Bonnie says at the door as we arrive for lunch. “Jean,” she shouts, “they’re here.”
Apparently Bonnie had her kids for Christmas day, so they’re with their dad today. That means it is just the four of us. It’s a thank you lunch for Isi in reality, for helping them out for the last few months.
I’ve met Bonnie a number of times when I’ve seen Isi off in the past. She’s very bohemian and sweet.
In the background they’re playing Fleetwood Mac; and it reminds me of my mom. I was twelve when she died, so I still remember lots about her, including the music she listened to. I also remember the ring Isi is now wearing as her engagement ring. It sat on my mother’s right ring finger every day. I used to fiddle with it and think how much it reminded me of a drop of blood. I used to think that it was beautiful. I still do and now it adorns Isi’s pretty little hand.
Dad was a Neil Diamond fan; I remember lots about him too. He was a strong man. He was a bear of a man. I still can’t believe that he could’ve died. He was such a huge presence in my life. He would always refocus my energy. He wasn’t afraid of me and he was my biggest support and friend. I realize that Ben has kind of taken over that role… he’s now the man I aspire to be. But sometimes, I remember my Dad and I think about how he was. I wonder what he’d look like now, and what sort of things he’d say to me about the way my life has turned out. I’m always wondering whether he would be proud of me.
Jade is just my awesome sister and adoptive mother.
She’s quirky, weird, passionate and totally loyal. I love her heaps.
And now there’s Isi.
Beautiful, and beautifully scarred; she has just the right amount of everything for me. I’m overwhelmed that the cosmos sat up and took notice. Even more so that they then set her up with me.
She’s giving Bonnie a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I give Bonnie a hand shake and then do the same with Dr. Jensen. I still can’t call Dr. Jensen by her first name, because it feels wrong to me.
“Silas,” Dr. Jensen states, giving me a big hand shake and a warm pat on the shoulder.
“Can I talk to you later?” I lean in and whisper. “I mean I realize you’re off duty, but I really need to understand some things, it’s not about my mental illness.” I clarify.
She raises her eyebrows.
“You want to ask about Ethan?” she says.
“Yes.”
“Well let’s not have that asshole hanging over our luncheon. Let’s duck into the study and get that bullshit off our chests so we can enjoy the food and company.” She smiles, a knowing look in her eye.
“I would really appreciate it.”
She nods.
“Bonnie honey, Silas and I are going to talk shop for a bit. Can you get Isobelle a drink and entertain her while we get this out of the way?” She says in a seriously loving and sweet voice.
“Okay.” Bonnie says smiling.
“Okay Silas, let’s get this over with.” She says pointing toward her domain.
***
“Did you ever suspect he was a fraud?” I ask her.
She’s seriously smart and has a lot of insight. I hope she can tell me something positive.
“No.”
“What? How come?”
“He’s very good at being what he is.” she says, clasping her hands and settling them down under her chin.
“You never suspected a thing?”
‘I didn’t say that.”
I sigh in relief that she wasn’t completely clueless. Dr. Jensen is looking at me. It’s hard to get her to give you answers willingly. She likes you to figure things out for yourself wherever possible. She’s only ever given me unfettered answers a couple of times in the past, and it was acutely necessary each time that she did. I can already tell I’ll be working for this information.
‘What did you suspect?”
“That he was an asshole.” she states matter-of-factly.
“That’s all?”
“He was also a prejudiced asshat. And I worked out pretty early on that I couldn’t stand the sight of him.”
“Didn’t he rub you the wrong way?”
“Oh yes.” She whole-heartedly agrees.
“Did you ever make any complaints to the board?”
“Monthly.”
“And what did they say?”
“Nothing, the main director was a church going buddy of his.” she sighs, “Look. I knew something wasn’t right, okay? But I had no jurisdiction to change his employment or diagnose him. He wasn’t a patient of mine and he behaved rather exemplary in my presence.”
“And yet you still didn’t like him?”
“Correct. In my line of work you get a feel for those that have something about them you want to analyze, but never get the opportunity to.”
“What do you think now?”
“My professional opinion based on what I know now?”
“Yes, off the record of course. I’m hardly likely to go to the press with half my record floating around out there in some assholes hands.”
“I’m so sorry that happened.” She says, mortified. It must be her worst nightmare that patient notes become public knowledge. They’re sensitive.
“It wasn’t your fault. It was his and I want to know what you think.”
“I think personally that it’s APD; Antisocial Personality Disorder.” She blurts out. “He’s charming, at least he has a persuasive quality to his personal interaction, he fails to show any respect to common law, he’s fraudulent and aggressive, he lacks any real empathy, and he shows little or no remorse unless it’s an act. The only thing that doesn’t precisely conform is that he plans things well in advance. But then that just makes him worse.”
“Shit and this is a bad thing to have, hey?”
“Yes.”
“How bad?”
She sighs. She knows about the box of butterflies and the flowers.
“He shows little regard for any threat you might present Silas.”
“But with both Ben and I?”
“Maybe.” She shrugs.
“You’re not making me feel very good about all this.”
“
Do you want the truth?”
“Yes.”
“You shouldn’t feel very good about this. But I think you and Ben are doing the right thing teaching her how to defend herself.” She says smiling weakly.
“So you think he’s that dangerous?”
“Of course. He’s already proved that he is. He didn’t get that misappropriated identification winning it in a game of poker.” She points out.
I shiver.
That just makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.
“How do I protect Isi?” I croak.
“You do what you’re already doing.” She sighs.
“Why do I feel like it’s just not enough?”
“Because you don’t feel that anything you do will protect her.” She grimaces.
“You’re right. But he was trying to woo Isi for ages before I came on the scene, why would he suddenly change his tactic?”
She looks at me with concern.
“You’re not going to like the truth.”
“Give it to me anyway.” I demand.
“Because suddenly he had competition.”
“Fuck.”
“Silas, you really must remain in control.” she states.
“I am.” I seethe.
“I’m not actually believing you right now. Stress is a trigger.” She explains.
I know that. I know this stress is killing me. I know it has the ability to tip me over the edge. I know everything she can possibly tell me. And I’m trying, I’m really trying.
“So what do we do now?” I demand.
Isi.
Bonnie is talking animatedly through lunch. She’s loves the book I got them and she says she’ll leave it wherever Jean will be relaxing next.
Silas seems a bit distant, and strangely, so does Jean.
When we finally leave, I wait only till we’re in the car and driving off before asking Silas what he’s got on his mind.
“Nothing.” He replies grumpily.
“It’s not nothing, you look like someone stole your candy.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I want to talk about it.” I say.
“Why?” He snaps.
“Because we’re in a relationship. And in order for that relationship to remain strong and healthy, we need to talk about stuff.”