by Sadie Savage
“You kind of are, Blade! The MC is under surveillance for a reason!”
Blade scoffed. “Yeah! Because of you. Don’t act like I wasn’t willing to step up for you and the baby, Michelle. You didn’t even tell me about it! You told Brett before I even had any idea! I thought we were closer than that!”
Blade stormed off, letting the door close in Michelle’s face. She stared at his back and felt another surge of anger course through her. Not only was he acting as if he hadn’t been on the same page as she was about being just friends, but now he was practically blaming her for not knowing how to break the news to him. Was it such a crime to want to be sure about something before you turned someone else’s life upside down? Apparently to Blade it was. He was the most stubborn, selfish man she had ever met.
Well, technically that title went to Alan, but still. Blade was a close second.
And for the past month, he had thought that making her food she didn’t want to touch and asking how she was would make up for the fact that he had assaulted one of the gentlest people she’d ever met. She just couldn’t let it go. Not when it meant that she would be agreeing to let him into her life with a baby involved. It was just too risky. She couldn’t let herself be with another man like Alan. To be honest, seeing his temper like that, right there in front of her, had been a terrifying reminder of all the horrible things she had gone through with her soon-to-be ex-husband.
But she couldn’t find a way to tell that to Blade. No matter how hard he tried to make things up to her and take care of Michelle and the baby, there was just nothing he could do to erase that memory of his temper from her mind. She was afraid of him. Plain and simple. But the one thing she had learned from being with Alan was that if a man scared you that way, you would be much, much better off if he didn’t know it.
Michelle sighed. Being cooped up in the MC all the time was starting to drive her crazy. She listened at the door for a few moments to make sure that Blade was nowhere in sight before sneaking downstairs. She took the secret path in the back of the club to escape onto the road, where she was finally able to have a breath by herself.
Well, she wasn’t technically alone. Somewhere in her womb was the beginning of a child, who may look like her, or who could possibly favor Blade. It seemed impossible that Blade would have a child who looked anything less than identical to him. Everything about him was strong and fierce. His genetic code was probably just as headstrong.
Michelle strolled along absently, letting all of her anxieties and worries melt away. It was nice having some time to clear her head. She certainly wasn’t getting any with Blade and she hadn’t been able to call Jo for an escape to her house. If she did, she knew that she would let the pregnancy slip and more importantly, who the father was.
And not only that, but she knew Jo well enough by then to know that there would be a big hullaballoo about how great it was that Blade was a father. Jo would push him to step up and Michelle would feel obligated in a way to accept him. She just wasn’t ready for that level of attention yet. Especially when she was still so angry and afraid of him.
“Well look who I have here,” a familiar, chilling voice said suddenly.
“No,” Michelle whispered, whipping around.
Michelle’s blood turned to ice as she came face to face with her worst nightmare. Alan grinned, looking her up and down with an evil smirk on his face. She should have stayed in the MC. What the hell had she been thinking?
“You look different,” Alan said, peering at her closely. “Did you gain weight or something? I don’t think I like it.”
She wanted to defy him, to take some of the attitude of the bikers she had grown to love and, and tell Alan to go fuck himself. But the words wouldn’t come. When she was alone with him, she was frozen. He had done a number on her, physically and mentally. She wasn’t prepared to face him. Not now. Not alone.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll get back to your old self in no time,” Alan said. “Put you back in one of those pretty little dresses we bought you. Like the ones for the dinners at the department. You always did look sexy in those.”
“What do you want, Alan?” Michelle asked, finally finding her voice.
“I want my wife to come home, where she belongs,” Alan said, his eyes beady and cold.
The idea of going back with Alan terrified her. Michelle looked frantically for an escape route – anything she could do to try to outsmart him and run like hell – but they were on an open dirt road, with a field on one side and forest on the other. Unfortunately, Alan was standing between Michelle and the cover of the trees, so her position wasn’t ideal, to say the least.
Again, she tried to find her voice, but there was nothing she could say to take the sadistic smile off his face, and it would be foolish to even try.
“Please,” she whispered.
“I don’t owe you anything,” Alan said. “You ran away from me like I was some sort of a monster! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?”
“Alan…”
But there was nothing she could say to reason with him. She already knew that.
“Who’s that biker guy everyone keeps seeing you around with?” Alan asked, his voice suddenly dark.
“I don’t know who you…”
“Don’t play dumb with me!” Alan shouted, stepping toward Michelle and grabbing her arm. “I’ve seen pictures of the two of you! You think the officers on duty here just twiddle their thumbs here?”
“No,” Michelle growled. “They answer to you, don’t they? And the only reason they’re here is because for the first time in my life, I’ve had the courage to do what was best for me!”
“What is best for you is to go home!” Alan roared, shaking Michelle’s arm hard. She grimaced in pain, though she knew that it was only going to get worse.
“What makes you think you know what’s best for everyone?”
Michelle and Alan both froze at the sound of a deep voice to their left and Michelle’s heart soared. Blade was standing there, with an entourage of bikers standing behind him, each of them reaching into their back pockets to pull out their weapons of choice.
“You stay out of this! I know what you’ve been doing with my wife!” Alan screamed, tightening his grip on Michelle’s wrist.
“Oh, so you know she’s pregnant with my kid, then,” Blade said, smiling smugly. This was as much a shock to the other bikers as it was to Alan, and everybody murmured to themselves as Alan’s face went from flesh-toned to deep red.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Alan exclaimed, raising his hand to strike Michelle. “You whore!”
Before Alan had a chance to make contact with Michelle, Blade was in between them, his huge, muscular body creating a barrier between Michelle and Alan. Michelle scrambled to join the protective group of bikers, but before she could, Alan used one of his police moves to roll out of Blade’s way and jump to his feet again. He tore at Michelle with everything he had. Blade whipped around just in time to see Michelle fall to the ground hard.
Pain engulfed her every nerve ending and she writhed on the ground.
“Somebody help her up!” Blade demanded, taking a swing at Alan that missed. “You should not have done that, pigfucker.”
Alan’s eyes narrowed and Michelle suddenly felt her body become weightless as two of the bikers carried her to the side of the road and sat her down gently.
“Are you all right, Michie?” Blade shouted over the sounds of Alan’s growling. Michelle gazed at Blade beating the holy hell out of Alan, her mind in a fog. She nodded dumbly, not sure what else to do.
“I’m going to kill you!” Alan shrieked again, lunging at Blade and growling furiously. Everybody groaned as a sickening thud filled the air and suddenly Alan was lying on the ground, unconscious.
“You stupid shit!” Blade shouted down to him. “You’re lucky I don’t fuckin’ kill you right now!”
But Alan couldn’t hear him and Michelle suddenly felt a shooting pain
up her abdomen. She bent over, moaning out loudly.
“Michie!”
She lost consciousness just in time to feel Blade’s strong hands around her shoulders as she slumped lifelessly against his broad chest.
Something was wrong with the baby.
Chapter 16
“I understand how you feel, sir, but we’re only allowed to disclose information to…”
“Is she all right or not?!” Blade’s voice boomed through the waiting room cluttered with bikers.
“Sir, if you don’t lower your voice, I’m going to have to…”
“Just answer the question!” Blade exclaimed. “What’s so hard about that?!”
“Sir, it is in the patient’s best interest that we only disclose information to her family. I know you’re friends, but…”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Blade said, holding his hand up.
He was one more excuse away from beating the shit out of the little man he’d seen wheeling Michelle away on the gurney. Blade knew that guy knew what was going on with her. He just refused to tell him.
“Sir. Like I said. Family only.”
“We are her family! Her husband? The one you have written down on all those official looking forms of yours? That’s the piece of shit who did this to her. We’re more of a family to her than that piece of shit will ever be and if you don’t let us in to see her right now, you’re going to see what the power of family can do!”
The rest of the bikers present, sensing a threat, stood up and put on their most intimidating faces. The doctor shifted nervously and was quiet for a moment before letting out a defeated little sigh.
“She’s in room 321. But for crying out loud, one at a time, please. She can tell you herself how she’s doing.”
Blade’s entire body felt as if a boulder was lifted off it and he took off down the hall toward room 321. Truth be told, he had never been more scared in all his life than when Michelle had passed out on the side of the road. He had been too scared to even step on the pigfucker’s throat for doing it to her in the first place. They had just left him passed out on county road, with the very real possibility of a coyote coming upon his body and finishing him off. It would serve the asshole right.
“Blade,” Michelle said tiredly when he burst through the door. She laughed a little. “You look wild.”
Blade stood rigid and took the chance to stare at Michelle. She looked incredible, even in a hospital gown. The color was back in her cheeks, thank Christ, and she was sitting up weakly in the bed to greet him.
“No, don’t get up. You need your rest right now,” Blade said, walking closer to the bed. How did she manage to be so completely stunning even when she looked like death warmed over?
“It’s nothing really. It was just too much stress. The baby couldn’t handle it…”
“Is it all right?” Blade asked, a new sense of fear overwhelming him. How was it possible that he was just as scared for an unborn child as he was for a woman he had grown to know and love over the past few months? It seemed incredible.
“Yes,” Michelle said. “They even told me that if I want to come back in about three weeks, I could get an ultrasound done. See if Blade Jr. is a boy or a girl.”
“Blade Jr.,” he chuckled. “That’s a hell of a name.”
“Tell me about it,” Michelle said, raising an eyebrow.
They fell silent for a moment, each of them ruminating over what had happened between them over the past few weeks. None of it felt good. He would give anything to make sure that she was all right, but she was tired and didn’t need his shit in her life. He couldn’t blame her.
“Look,” Blade said, shifting uncomfortably. “I’m really glad the two of you are all right. And I know we’re kind of not doing this whole…I don’t know…friendship thing right now, but you had me fuckin’ worried out there. But now that I know everything’s fine, I think I’ll just let you get your rest.”
“Wait,” Michelle said quietly as Blade turned to leave. He paused, hoping against hope that what she had to say wasn’t just another “fuck off,” or just a “thanks for getting me medical attention when I needed it so I didn’t die by the roadside.”
“Blade, I’ve been struggling with something for a long time now, ever since what happened between you and Brett.”
“Oh yeah?”
Blade had been dreading hearing more about what had happened with Brett. He was not only ashamed of himself for it, but it was a painful reminder of just how badly he managed to fuck up a delicate situation with Michelle. Ever since then, he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head for longer than six seconds.
“There’s something about what happened then that just really changed the way I felt around you, you know?”
“No, not really. Only kind of. You’d better make it clear for me. I have a thick skull,” Blade said, knocking on his temple. This brought the hint of a smile to Michelle’s lips. It was progress.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is, when you burst into my bedroom like that, a space where I’m supposed to feel safe, it really scared me. And then, when you got violent with sweet little Brett…”
Blade looked down at the ground sheepishly.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “That wasn’t cool.”
“It really wasn’t. And Brett’s really a big man for being able to let that go, you know.”
Blade shrugged. It wasn’t up to him whether the people who Blade roughed up were able to get over it or not. Still, he did kind of feel bad about the guy. He was just trying to help.
“Anyway,” Michelle said with a sigh. “Seeing Alan again made me realize that you’re not the man I was afraid you were. You were just trying to protect me and all this time I’ve just been too afraid of you to face you again. Does that make sense? I get now that you were just trying to protect me from Brett, too. You heard me crying and knew he was up there.”
“Yeah,” Blade said, shocked at the revelation. He knew he was an intimidating guy, but he had never thought about how that might come across to Michelle. Especially so soon after being with her abusive husband. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right,” Michelle said. “You were just looking out for me. Nobody has ever done that before. At least not since I left the MC. And I doubt anybody ever will again if I leave.”
“That’s not true,” Blade said, quick to defend Michelle from herself. “If you wanted to leave, anybody you ran into would be lucky as hell. And if they didn’t know it, then they’re a bunch of fuckin’ idiots.”
Michelle grinned and shook her head. “Thanks.”
Blade nodded and they fell into a loaded silence. Suddenly, Michelle spoke again.
“Do you want to come and see the ultrasound with me?” she asked shyly. “I mean, it’s your kid, too.”
Blade was shocked.
“You mean like, see the little bean in your belly on like an x-ray screen?”
Michelle smiled. “Something like that.”
“I’d be honored,” Blade said, moving quickly to her side and kissing her hand. “I’ll do anything you want me to do during this thing. This is my baby, too. And if you want me to be there, I will be. If you don’t, I can split. That’s all right too. I can pay you and make sure the kid has good clothes and a nice school, but if you think I can’t be a dad or I’d be a bad influence, then…”
“What?” Michelle said, furrowing her brow at him as if he were the biggest idiot in the world. “Of course, you’ll be involved. If you want to be. And if you want to be a good dad, you will be. I know you have it in you.”
Blade’s heart warmed at the words. He had been terrified about this for so long that now that it was happening, her encouragement meant everything to him.
“I’m glad you feel that way. But really, however you want to do this baby thing is fine.”
“I know. And thank you for making that clear.”
Blade nodded and then sighed deeply. “I should probably get out of here.”
; “Already?”
“Well…we kinda threatened the guy to let us in here,” Blade said, grinning. “So technically I’m not even supposed to be here. But the guys and I were worried about you.”
Michelle laughed and slapped his arm. “What the hell? Poor Dr. Dorian. He’s going to love it when we come back in for the ultrasound.”
Blade snorted. “He’ll probably remember us and give us a picture of an alien baby or something.”
Michelle burst out laughing and smiled fondly at Blade. “You’re pretty hard to forget…I really missed you. When I get home, we should have a talk.”
“Sure,” Blade said, the heavy weight on his chest that had been there since their fallout finally lifting. “I’d love to.”
Michelle smiled at him and Blade nodded formally. Maybe things weren’t going to be so bad after all.
Chapter 17
“I’m fine!” Michelle exclaimed, slapping Blade’s hands away from her as she slowly climbed the stairs up to her room.
“But the doctor said no stress,” Blade informed her.
It was almost cute how literal he was being with the doctor’s instructions but Michelle wasn’t sure she was enjoying being treated like porcelain. It wasn’t fun being robbed of her independence.
“I know what the doctor said, Blade, because he said it to me!”
Blade was silent and continued holding Michelle’s arm stubbornly until she reached the top of the stairs. He was sweet, underneath all that muscle and attitude. She had to give him that.
“All right,” Blade said gently, opening the doorway and ushering into the bedroom like she was about to break. “In you go.”
He helped her down into the bed and turned to leave.
“Blade, wait. I don’t feel like being alone right now. Would you mind keeping me company?”
Blade looked surprised at first, then pleased. “Of course.”
He sat down beside Michelle on the bed and the tension between their bodies was immediate. If it didn’t feel so good to have him so close to her, she would have regretted inviting him to stay.