“Yes,” I said cautiously. “What about it?”
“Well it left a bit of a hole in the market round here, and a lad who was on my college course a couple of years back is setting up another one, only much more slim line because these day’s with digital you don’t need as much equipment, and he’s offered me a job with him.”
“Wow Jamie! That’s brilliant!” I was well impressed.
He smiled. “So I’m sticking around at home for a bit longer…”
“Pauline will be disappointed!” I joked. “She was hoping to put her dollshouse collection in here once you left.”
“Well stuff her, she’ll have to wait!” He snapped. Then he eyed me resentfully. “And now you’ve seen fit to lumber us with another baby as though one isn’t bad enough!”
“Maybe you ought to move out and share a flat somewhere like I am,” I suggested.
“No point in spending money when you don’t have to,” he said with a shrug, then he pulled his headphones back on and made it obvious that I wasn’t wanted.
Later that evening I rang Tyler.
“Hiya, sweetheart!” He said cheerfully.
“I just rang to hear your voice really,” I admitted.
“That’s nice,” he said sounding pleased. “That’s the first time you’ve ever done that…”
“Where have you been racing today?” I asked.
“Nowhere. I needed to see to the business. I’m away in Holland next weekend and I’ll have to take some extra time off to get the car over on the ferry, so I figured I’d better.”
“Venray?” I queried.
“Yeah.”
“Pete’s going,” I said.
“Hey my love,” it sounded as though he’d just thought of it, “I’ve only got Tom with me to support me as I have to leave Mick to run the business, do you want to come with me?”
“I’ve just been through all this with the Satterthwaites,” I said. “I don’t have a passport because I’ve never needed one because I’ve never been abroad, so I can’t come to Holland with either of you. But thanks for the offer,” I added politely. Hmm, I bet he wouldn’t have invited me if Mick had been along. Tom and I got on well. But Mick was always directing darkling looks at the back of my head. I didn’t think it was sexism or even that he particularly disliked me. What seemed to annoy him was that he clearly thought his boss was making a complete fool of himself over a younger woman. I could almost hear him muttering about mid-life crises, it’ll be a Jaguar next, and it’ll all end in tears.
“Never been abroad?” Tyler marvelled. “Well we’ll have to sort that out won’t we sweetheart? When we’ve finished the season I’ll take you somewhere nice for a holiday – So you start applying for a passport straight away because it takes ages when you get one for the first time and you have to get things countersigned and witnessed and all sorts and then by November you’ll be ready to come away with me.”
Ok, I thought. Maybe. Might be fun. But rather than confirm that I was going to follow his advice I changed the subject and told him how little Mariah was getting on and all about Jamie’s potential new career.
“How’s Quinn taking it all?” Tyler inquired.
“He’s still ignoring me big time,” I said despairingly. “He hasn’t spoken to me since last Saturday which is quite a feat in this small flat. So I don’t even know if he’s aware that Dad and Pauline have taken Mariah!”
Tyler was silent for a moment. “He’s just ashamed that’s all,” he said at last. “He’s only coping by shutting everything out, and he’s ashamed he’s not helping the others.”
“Yeah, that’s what I think too,” I agreed, soothed by the confirmation. “So I’ll just leave him to get on with it. He thinks I’ll start telling him what he ought to be doing, so I’ll just keep quiet.”
“You’ve done your bit Eve, and because of you they’re now getting some help so I’m sure it’ll all turn out in the end,” he comforted.
“On a lighter note,” I reported, “Daisy is now wobbling her way around a beginners moped course on my bike, so we fully expect her to be independent in a few weeks, and I get to use Quinn’s bike which is bloody ace I can tell you! It’s a Kawasaki ZXR 400, I keep trying to find the long way round to places just to get a bit longer on it…”
Tyler laughed and didn’t tell me to be careful, for which I thought the better of him. If he’d sounded anxious about me riding a bloody 400 cc bike I’d have wanted to do something a bit more final than just slap him.
On Sunday I went up to the Satterthwaites’ to work on Fay’s car which she’d used the previous day. Jo came in while I was there, Pete was away driving.
“I’ve been looking carefully at the points tables,” Jo announced, “and I’ve noticed something interesting. As soon as you got banned, Tyler slackened off his race attendance which not only shows he considered you a serious threat but also means he’s not as far ahead as he could have been if he’d kept up the pace, so if you’re willing to put your back into it, you can start a chase. If nothing else it’ll restore the public’s faith in you and make Tyler sweat a bit. And if he did something stupid like breaking his hand again or whatever, you’d be in a position to take it.”
“Hmm,” I said thoughtfully. “Yes I was surprised he wasn’t bothering to race this weekend at all…”
“Devlin’s had some sort of family crisis as well, so he missed loads of key races for a couple of months, so really Eve, you need to go for it!”
“Ok,” I said, suddenly feeling really cheerful for first time for ages. “Let’s get planning shall we?”
While everyone was off in the Netherlands, I filled in an application for a passport, went to see Nasim, and rang Jamie to see if they had a Full Frontal gig on at the weekend.
Nasim was well and happy. We’d settled for once a fortnight to fetch her mother so that there’d be less chance of being found out.
“Do any of your family visit Tariq in prison?” I asked curiously.
“Dad does, and he’s taken Sahmir a couple of times – probably as a dire warning.”
“So how come he visits Tariq who’s disgraced the family in a far worse way than you have, and yet you’re the one who’s a complete outcast?”
“Well Tariq’s a boy of course. Much more important. Fathers are supposed to be able to control their wives and daughters aren’t they?”
“Are they?” I said. “Oh dear, my poor Dad!”
Nasim giggled.
“Do you remember Hussein who was a friend of Tariq’s?” I asked.
She frowned. “Yes?”
“Well I’ve twice seen him coming out of a house just a few doors up from your parents…”
She nodded, seemingly unsurprised. “Yes, that’s where he lives.”
“So he must be out of prison then?”
She frowned fiercely. “I didn’t know he’d been in prison. They kept that pretty quiet!”
I parted my lips to tell her that he’d been one of the ones to beat me up, and had been into drug dealing with Luke Beck, then closed them again. Not now. If it ever became relevant maybe… I sincerely hoped Beck wasn’t out as well. But he had got a much longer sentence if I remembered rightly, so it would be a while yet.
I crept into the back of the Full Frontal gig without telling the still stiffly ignoring me Quinn I was going to be there. Danny’s dad was still on van driving duties. I wondered if that was the sole reason Danny had been invited to be the drummer? But Lisa had been relieved of the sound system as now they had lots of eager sound tech students offering to volunteer. I found her at a loose end at the back.
“It’s not the same,” she said sadly.
I had three vodkas with different juices just to enliven my evening and kept my head down. It certainly was completely different. Quinn looked normal – normal torn denim trousers – normal scuffed leather jacket. No back combing in sight. No make-up. It was all very tuneful. Lots of complicated instrumental. No three and a half octave screams. An
d they were using Quinn’s voice more like an extra instrument rather than to convey words. But his voice was utterly fantastic. I had to admit that. The way they were using it was bringing out all the light and shade and was delicately nuanced. It showed it off far better than the shouty screamy style of B.S.E. I listened with growing respect. Jamie had obviously seen the potential in what he could do with Quinn. And Quinn maybe was too depressed and lacking direction to do anything other than meekly comply with what Jamie wanted.
At the end, Quinn was wandering towards the bar when he suddenly caught sight of me. He looked angry.
“Hi Quinn,” I tried to pre-empt any cross remark from him. “That was really good.”
He shook my hand off his arm but couldn’t help but double check I really meant it. “You think?”
“Yes, I think it sounded really classy. Proper musical. I’m impressed.”
He gave a very slight smile. “I’m not sure if that isn’t a bit of a back handed compliment? Sounds like you didn’t think much of us before…”
“No comment,” I flashed back teasingly.
I saw Daisy wending her stately way through the crush, black hat, black lace fingerless gloves, high heeled lace up boots, layers of lacy skirts, big, big, eyes.
I melted away into the crowd.
I thought that would be us sorted. That he’d gradually warm up again. But on Sunday early evening when I was sitting with my feet up on the settee reading the latest Unloaded 7.3 to catch up on what I might need to know before next weekend when I could explode on the Stocks scene again, he stormed into the flat. He threw his car keys down onto the table and turned on me.
“You fucking interfering cow! You’ve taken Mariah away and given her to your bloody step mother! You just have to be in control don’t you? You love being all high and mighty smug! You’re right and everyone else is wrong and only you can rescue them! I fucking hate you, you cow!”
“Quinn, calm down,” I tried not to rise to what he was saying. Really I just wanted to launch myself at him and scratch his eyes out, but I was trying to be adult and remember that he was grieving and not coping and all that. But I should have known not to use the ‘calm down’ approach. After all it was exactly those words that had made me so enraged that I’d slapped Tyler.
Quinn came at me across the back of the settee and slapped me really hard. I defended my head by putting my arms up around my face and concentrated really hard on not launching myself back at him.
Daisy came running out of her bedroom looking really shocked. “Adam! What are you doing?”
He backed off looking a bit shocked at himself and I unexpectedly found myself bursting into tears.
“The complete bitch has stolen my sister!” He exclaimed wildly.
I roughly wiped back my tears with the backs of my hands. “I haven’t Quinn!” I protested. “Holty and Thérèse were going to go to Social Services. Dad and Pauline offered to give Siân a break by looking after her for a few weeks. They can come and get her back whenever they like, but they haven’t even visited her yet!”
“Social Services?” Quinn yelled at me. “How dare you!”
“Siân’s depressed and lying in her bed in her pants, your Dad’s in a drunken stupor on his bed most days, there was no food in the house, Declan was on his own and Mariah was covered in two days’ worth of shit!”
“You’re a fucking liar!” Quinn yelled.
I tried to hold back the tears and Daisy looked worriedly between us.
“Right that’s it!” Quinn shouted at me, his green eyes narrowed and flashing with rage. “I’m completely finished with you – you evil cow! Daisy and I will be moving out to our own flat and you can find yourself some other suckers to share with!” And he turned and strode to his room and slammed his door behind him so hard all the crockery rattled and the one picture on the wall quivered.
Daisy was looking shocked and was trembling a bit. I noticed she didn’t go in after him.
“Sorry Daisy,” I said weakly. “You’ll have to excuse him. He’s not himself right now. He’s upset and doesn’t want to believe his family’s falling apart…”
Daisy’s eyes darkened as though she was believing Quinn’s line rather than my own. She looked accusingly at me as though I was a manipulative little liar, and then she too walked back into her room and slammed the door.
Excruciatingly loud music started blasting out of Quinn’s room. I found I was trembling. There was no-one to ring as they’d all be getting on the ferry now back from the Netherlands. I’d have to try to process it on my own.
Jo didn’t come into work on Monday until about one pm as she’d booked the morning off to drive back from Newcastle where the ferry docked.
The first thing she said to me was, “What the hell’s happened to you?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You’ve got a massive purple bruise coming up on your cheek bone!”
“Have I?” I was surprised. But he’d hit me extremely hard so perhaps I shouldn’t be. “That was Quinn. He found out that Mariah had gone to my parent’s and went ape and slapped me.”
Jo looked horrified. “Quinn hit you? What the hell for?”
Tony was passing by and came to a halt. “Quinn did that to you? Your flatmate? I should get the hell out of there. You can’t be living with someone who’ll do that to you!”
I looked worriedly at them. “We grew up together remember? We used to fight all the time! I used to do much worse to him. He just regressed for a moment, that’s all,” I defended him.
Dewhurst had caught some of this and came over too. “So did you slap him one back?”
I shook my head. “I’m trying to learn to control my temper remember? They said they’d ban me if they heard I’d ever slapped someone again. And I don’t ever want to get banned again…”
“Or get landed with another charge of GBH,” Jo said dryly.
Dewhurst scratched his head. “Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair? That she’s not even allowed to defend herself now?”
“I promise I will if it’s ever really important to,” I said seriously.
“As long as you’re proportional about it!” Jo warned severely.
“Ok,” Dewhurst changed the subject. “It’s the second of August tomorrow, the day we’ve all been waiting for. Where’s your first race?”
“Thursday, Skegness,” Jo said promptly.
I met her eyes and smiled. Suddenly I couldn’t wait!
By some feat of timing, Quinn and I managed to avoid each other all week. I guess we were both listening out in our rooms to spot the moment when the other wasn’t about. Nothing was said by Quinn about my giving his bike back. I guess he wanted Daisy to continue to have access to mine.
Skeggie was an unimportant midweek evening meet, and there was only one other red roof there. Mostly white, yellow and blue locals. I cleaned up. Jo was ecstatic. She’d studied the fixtures and found two more for me at the weekend that would be ill-attended, wangled it to get rid of Fay for the weekend and banned me from letting Tyler know I’d be there. Again I cleaned up.
In Steve the commentator’s blog, he immediately commented on my return and choice of venues and predicted I was starting a chase for the Silver. Damn, I thought, now everyone will notice. No, was Jo’s point of view, you want them to notice, you want everyone to know you’re committed to this.
And then all of a sudden it was my big night with Tyler. He rang me up the night before. “Are we still on for my birthday?”
“Of course we are,” I said.
“It’s just you haven’t contacted me for a couple of weeks,” he said.
“Don’t want to bore you by being clingy and needy,” I dismissed. Actually, I didn’t want to encourage him too much. Last time I’d rung him spontaneously he’d responded by immediately planning a dinner date, a weekend to Holland and a continental holiday together…
Lisa came round and was a real support. I was so nervous my stomach was tu
rning over. I clutched at her hand and she told me it would be fine.
She did my hair beautifully. Classically French plaited, swept up from the sides and coiled at the nape of my neck with the clip we’d bought. She did my make-up so perfectly that I looked completely different to my own eyes, but without me being able to see how. My eyes looked large and heavy lidded again. My lips were dark to match the dress.
He texted that he was here.
“Off you go,” she ordered.
I went out to him.
He took the overnight bag off me and threw it into the van, and then he just stared at me.
“You said to really dress up,” I said awkwardly.
“Yes,” he said. “But I realise now that I’ve never seen you really dressed up. You look amazing Eve!”
I smiled in shy relief.
“God, my heart just squeezed tight in my chest when you smiled at me,” he confessed. “I hardly dare touch you. You look completely out of my league!”
“Don’t be silly,” I said embarrassed.
He smiled. “At least I hoovered out the cab anyway!” He opened the door for me. “Hop in.”
I managed the difficult and undignified ascent into the cab in high heels while he was walking round the back to get to the driver’s seat.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Wait and see,” he said.
He drove us out to some country hotel which billed itself as a ‘restaurant with rooms’ which means it was really posh. Finally I was glad I’d dressed up. As we got out, I remembered suddenly that it was Tyler’s birthday.
“Happy Birthday by the way,” I said. “I’m afraid I haven’t got you a present. I wracked my brains and couldn’t think of a thing. You’ve got all the bits of engine you could possibly want…”
He laughed at my lack of imagination. “No worries, Eve, you’re all the birthday present I need!”
“Yuk,” I recoiled. “That sounds so…”
“Sleazy?” He hazarded. He pulled a self-mocking face. “Sorry!” He apologised. “It was just a clumsy way of saying don’t worry about a present, I don’t need one…”
The Way Barred (Not Quite Eden Book 4) Page 22