Improvisation

by Karis Walsh

  Jan groaned. Plans were made for a reason. So everyone would know what to expect from the day. “What kind of change?”

  “There’s a bluegrass festival in Wenatchee. We decided the four of us should go, and Brooke and Andy will just drive home from there. Small-town thing, tons of music and food. It’ll be a blast.”

  “Wenatchee?” Jan asked, certain she hadn’t heard correctly. “A six-hour round-trip just to hear some people play the banjo?”

  “Just to…Wow, are you in for a treat. And a musical education. Now get dressed because Brooke and Andy already have an hour head start.”

  “We were going to have lunch near Gonzaga and walk around the campus,” Jan said, trying to sound as reasonable as possible since Tina was obviously going insane. Why’d she have to be so damned adorable when she acted so crazy? “I don’t have time for more than that. I have to grade class projects, prepare the final exam…and what if Dad needs me?”

  “Then he’ll call, and we’ll come straight home. And you can do the rest tomorrow. Besides, you’re the one who’s always ten lesson plans ahead, I’m sure you already have the final finished up here.”

  Jan swatted at Tina’s hand when she tapped her on the forehead, and then she recrossed her arms. “Maybe we can just move our schedule up a few weeks and tell them we broke up. They can console you at the festival while I stay at home and get my work done.”

  “You know, when you cross your arms, you’re not really hiding anything. You’re just pushing your breasts together. Now go get dressed. I’m not leaving without you.”

  Jan eased the tension in her arms and turned away to hide her embarrassment. She had a feeling Tina was as stubborn as she sounded. Jan could either argue more or just save them both some time and go along with the new plan. Either way, she wanted to be fully clothed. “I’ll get dressed,” she conceded. She started up the stairs with Tina on her heels. “You wait here.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Tina said. She watched Jan jog up the steps before she turned away. Before she could turn away. Those satiny boxer shorts, sitting low on Jan’s slender hips, and the tiny tank top had left just enough to the imagination. Tina considered trotting up the stairs after her, but she decided to obey Jan’s order to wait below. She went into the kitchen and found Glen at the table, struggling to open his paper with one good arm.

  Tina took the sports page from him and carefully folded it into an easy-to-manage rectangle. “Thank you,” he said, propping it on a small vase. “I’m getting mighty tired of doing everything with one hand.”

  “I’ll bet,” she said, pulling out a chair and sitting down. She cradled her hands around her mocha and watched him for a few moments. He looked normal and sounded normal, but she didn’t know him well enough to recognize any small signs of change. “I’ve come to kidnap your daughter for the day.”

  “Have at it,” Glen said. “It’ll be good for her to get out and have some fun for a change.”

  “Will you be okay?”

  “Well, I won’t be as neat with the paper as you were, but I’ll get by,” he said with a smile. Tina kept silent until he sighed and pulled a small laminated card from the front of his shirt. It was looped around his neck on a cord. “My name and address, and Jan’s information. I wear it everywhere now, even to bed.” He shrugged. “I don’t think I need it yet, but I know it gives her some peace of mind. Besides, I’m going golfing with some old air force buddies today.”

  “Golfing?” Tina asked skeptically.

  “Don’t worry,” he said with a wry smile. “I do remember you need two good arms to play. But the walking will do me good. And I’ll be free to give the guys pointers while they play.”

  “I’m sure they’ll appreciate the help,” Tina said with a laugh. “Just remember to duck if one of them comes at you with his club.”

  She slid a piece of paper across the table. “This is my cell number, and my cousin Peter’s, too,” she said. She had been surprised by how easy it was to ask a favor from family when it wasn’t personal but was meant to help Jan. And gratified by how quick Peter was to assure her he’d be there for Glen if necessary. “He’ll be at the nursery all day, just a few minutes from here, in case you need anything.”

  Glen thanked her and tucked the paper in his shirt pocket just as Jan came into the kitchen. Tan cotton shorts and a pale pink T-shirt had replaced the skimpier ensemble. Just as sexy. Damn. Tina had to give up the illusion that she had only been turned on because of Jan’s boxer shorts and tank, not the woman inside. But Jan could have duct taped brown paper bags on her body, and she’d have looked just as sexy.

  “Do you have a change of clothes in case you get cold?” Tina asked. She had a jacket and jeans in the trunk of her car since she was expecting a cooler evening in the foothills of the Cascades.

  “In here,” Jan said, shrugging her shoulder, a stuffed backpack hanging off it.

  “What do you want to bet she has schoolwork in there, too?” Tina asked Glen.

  “I’ll keep my money, thanks. You have a good time, pumpkin.”

  Jan fussed over her dad, soliciting his promise to send a text when he got home from golf and explaining exactly how long he should microwave last night’s chicken dinner, until Tina finally managed to herd her out the door and into the car. Jan sat in the passenger seat and fidgeted. She had agreed to come because who knew when she’d have a chance to see Brooke again? And since she and Andy had already left for the festival, she couldn’t make them drive back to Spokane. She tried to put the extra work she’d need to do tomorrow out of her mind and focus on going with the flow for once.

  Tina pushed firmly on her knee. “Stop bouncing. Your dad will be fine, and you’re going to have fun. Besides, it’s our very first road trip together,” she added in her best Chloe-in-love voice.

  Jan laughed and felt herself relax a little bit. “Our second. You’re forgetting Coeur d’Alene.”

  “I’m not forgetting it at all. We just weren’t fake-dating then.”

  “Of course. You can probably let go of my leg now,” she said since Tina hadn’t moved her hand off Jan’s knee. “I doubt Brooke is doing surveillance of your car to make sure we’re acting like a couple.”

  “I’m practicing method acting,” Tina said, but she shifted her hand to the steering wheel. “Trying to get deep into my character’s motivation.”

  “I’m afraid to ask what that might be,” Jan said. Tina just waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Jan punched her lightly on the arm. “Attention on the road,” she ordered.

  She wouldn’t have minded continuing their playful game, since she knew the feelings between them were safely in the realm of make-believe, but Tina turned to more serious topics as she accelerated onto the freeway.

  “Your dad seems in good spirits,” she said, her eyes on the road. “Is he really this cheerful, or is he trying to pretend everything’s okay so you don’t worry?”

  Jan shrugged. “A little of both, I guess. You’ve seen him at his best because he likes you, and he’s always been very pragmatic. But he’s had a couple of memory slips that led to fights because he got frustrated and I got frightened. I suppose I don’t hide my feelings well enough—”

  “Do not blame yourself for any of this,” Tina said firmly, reaching over and grabbing Jan’s hand. “You’re doing the best you can. You both are.”

  Jan squeezed Tina’s fingers in thanks. Tina kept hold of her hand while Jan went on to talk about what the doctors had told her and her dad to expect in the future, and what decisions they’d need to make together. Tina prompted her occasionally with gentle questions, and Jan slowly let herself open up more about her fears and concerns. She had been keeping most of them inside, and the simple act of sharing was a huge relief. And Tina’s logic and compassion as they debated some of the choices facing Jan was a comfort. Tina was a temporary, pretend girlfriend, unwilling to be held down by any woman—let alone one facing an uncertain future—but Jan decided to accept the simplicity of
what she was offering. Jan had a full day to be someone else, someone with a partner to share her burdens and with no agenda, except to have fun. She’d take advantage of every moment of it. She slipped her fingers between Tina’s, locking their hands together.

  “What about you?” she asked. “How’s your family life?”

  Tina shrugged. She was prepared for the usual tightening in her stomach she felt whenever the topic came up, but she didn’t feel it this time. Probably because too much of her attention was focused on the soft thigh under her hand. She checked over her shoulder for traffic before changing lanes so she had an excuse to move her hand a little farther up Jan’s lap. “I’ve seen my grandmother a couple times at the nursery, and the police haven’t been called, so I guess you could say we’re doing as well as can be expected.”

  Tina thought back to those two brief meetings. After her initial arrival in Spokane, she had been upset and looking for a fight. When Francine had stopped by a week later and commented on one of Tina’s designs, Tina had gone on the defensive, hearing criticism in every word. Only Peter’s pleadings, when he caught up to her in the parking lot, had kept her from just getting in her car and heading straight to Seattle. The second time, Tina had nearly bumped into her grandmother as they came around a display of flowering shrubs. A civil exchange of greetings had been the entirety of their conversation. It was the most pleasant one Tina could remember ever having with her.

  “I’ve liked seeing my aunt and uncle again,” she continued, rubbing her thumb lightly over the back of Jan’s hand. “And Peter has become…a friend.”

  Jan laughed and squeezed her hand. “And you sound upset about it.”

  “More like surprised,” Tina admitted. She and her cousin were enough alike to make them compatible, but their friendship had grown beyond what she’d anticipated from a relative. Their business meetings often turned into personal conversations, and she had come to appreciate his intelligence, his dry sense of humor, and their shared passion for music. “I’ll actually miss him when I leave.”

  She thought she felt Jan stiffen at her words, but her voice was calm when she asked Tina about the work she was doing for the aeronautics company. Tina wanted to say she’d miss Jan, too, when she left Spokane, but somehow the words didn’t express how she really felt. Instead, she stayed on the safe topics of her design business and Jan’s school until they reached the small town of Wenatchee.

  *

  “I can take a hint,” Brooke said, interrupting Jan’s focus on the two women in front of her. Tina and Andy had stopped to watch one of the many impromptu jam sessions they had seen at the festival. It seemed everyone had an instrument and was willing to play it at the slightest sign of encouragement. The blend of different styles of bluegrass—from country to urban—and the chaos, as scheduled performances competed with spur-of-the-moment tunes, ought to have been a cacophonous assault on her ears, but instead, Jan felt comfortably enveloped by the music of the festival.

  “Okay,” Jan said, her attention on Tina’s expressive fingers as she argued with Andy. They were clearly discussing some matter of technique as they gestured and played air violins. Jan could almost feel Tina’s desire to have a real fiddle in her hands. “Wait, what?”

  “I’ll stop meddling. You and Tina proved your point.”

  “Good,” Jan said. “What point?”

  “You don’t want me involved in your social lives.”

  “Well, we don’t.” Jan still felt she had missed part of Brooke’s conversation. Her comments seemed to have come from out of the blue. “How exactly did we prove it to you?”

  “The whole pretending-to-be-dating thing. I get it, and I won’t try to set the two of you up again.”

  Jan considered protesting more vigorously, since she knew Tina would want her to, but she couldn’t see the point. She and Tina simply weren’t believable as a couple. She had always known they weren’t. “What a relief,” Jan eventually said, giving up the charade in a not very relieved sounding voice. She wondered briefly if they needed to tell Tina yet. Jan had actually been enjoying the afternoon. Tina’s occasional touch on her shoulder or back, her attentiveness, her closeness. “What gave us away? Those stupid pet names she kept making up?”

  “No,” Brooke said with a wave of her hand. “Those were adorable. They made you smile every time, so she kept coming up with sillier ones. But something just didn’t seem right. I guess love just can’t be faked.”

  “I thought we were pretty convincing,” Jan muttered as she started walking faster. Brooke matched her long stride.

  “Are you angry? I’m not insulting your acting skills, I’m just saying I understand. And the good thing is, since you and Tina are friends now, we can all hang out together when you come to Seattle.”

  Hang out with Tina and her date of the week. Two loving couples and Jan. “Hooray,” she said as they caught up to Tina and Andy, who had stopped at a snack bar.

  “Are you hungry, sex kitten?” Tina asked. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  Jan frowned. She kind of liked the new name. “You can stop acting like my girlfriend. They’re on to us.”

  “Really?” Tina asked, looking from Brooke to Andy. “I know you were suspicious last night, but I thought we were acting like a real couple today.”

  “Yeah, you really had us going for a while,” Andy said, rolling her eyes. “Not.”

  Jan ignored Andy’s dry remark and turned to Tina. “I thought so, too. Especially when you noticed I was cold and went to get my coat.” Tina had let her hands linger in Jan’s hair after she pulled it free of the coat’s collar. Brushing against her neck like a warm breeze. Jan hadn’t felt cold anymore, but her sudden rush of heat had nothing to do with the coat.

  “And when you bought me the hand-carved fiddle stand because you knew I didn’t have a place to set my violin when I practice in the apartment. It was very considerate. Something a girlfriend would do.” Jan smiled at her, glad Tina had liked the little gift. When Tina had played the Cajun music for her, she had noticed she had to set the violin in its case every time she needed her hands free. The stand seemed like a convenient accessory, and the rustic carving of the piece suited Tina’s style.

  “Fine, you convinced me,” Brooke said, raising her hands in surrender. “I believe you’re really in love. When’s the wedding?”

  “Oh, don’t patronize us,” Jan said, angry because she wasn’t quite sure what she was arguing for anymore.

  “How about we save this discussion for later and focus on what’s really important,” Andy said as she moved up to the snack bar’s counter. “Now, who wants french fries?”

  *

  “Did you know the whole time?” Tina asked Andy once they were seated near the performance stage. Jan and Brooke had gone to get another round of snacks.

  “When you told us in Seattle, I suspected you were just trying to get everyone off your back. And once I saw you with Jan, I knew for sure,” Andy said. “You were very careful about how you touched each other, and you never held hands. Neither of you is a very good liar.”

  Tina frowned. She wasn’t so sure of that. She had done a good job of convincing herself, but she wasn’t about to admit it to Andy. Nor did she want to mention that they had held hands in the car, when they were alone. She had only been reserved when touching Jan in public because she didn’t think she’d be able to stop once she started to let her hands roam. “But we’ve had fun together, like two couples.”

  Andy shrugged. “Like four friends.”

  “More fun than we ever had when I brought dates out with us,” Tina continued, ignoring Andy’s comment.

  “Because Brooke and I know Jan. Most of the girls you’ve brought along were nice enough, but they were strangers to us. Hell, they were practically strangers to you.”

  “I do like her, you know,” Tina said quietly. She wasn’t sure how much, or what it meant, but it was too real to be ignored.

  “Hey.” Andy bumped her shoulder agains
t Tina’s. “That’s obvious. But do you like her as in you want to spend a night with her, or do you like her as in you want to move to Spokane and help her with her dad, and stick around for all the mornings after?”

  Tina was silent. Of course she meant the former. Only a fool would sign up for the lifetime option. She saw Jan and Brooke approaching and watched as Jan handed the food she was carrying to Brooke and knelt to pet an Australian Cattle Dog with a bandana around its neck. She had visited every dog at the festival—and there were almost as many of them as people—and Tina, in her girlfriend persona, had imagined a rather pleasant scene in which she gave Jan a puppy as a present. And then what? She would go back to Seattle, leaving Jan to care for her dad and a new pet all alone. Andy was right. If Tina wasn’t prepared to stay long-term, she had no right to play with Jan’s affection. She had to stop pretending because she had no intention of making their relationship permanent.

  “Thanks,” she said when Jan handed her one of the messy, greasy chili dogs she had in her hands. She was relieved when Jan chose a seat on the aisle, so the two of them were flanking Andy and Brooke and not sitting next to each other. She took a big bite and tried to swallow it even though her throat felt strangely tight.

  *

  The effort to maintain small talk for the three-hour drive back to Spokane was almost painful. Jan came up with an admirable number of questions about fiddle music, styles, and history until even Tina was bored, hearing herself lecture about one of her favorite subjects. Tina did her part, as well, and she had learned more than she ever wanted to know about geometry before she finally parked in front of Jan’s house. The porch light and a lamp in the living room were on, but the rest of the house was dark.

  “Well, that was…a long day,” Tina said awkwardly as she turned off the car and faced Jan. Even though the relationship had been a sham, its end had managed to put a stop to their playful, teasing friendship. Tina didn’t know how to get it back, or even if she wanted to. Maybe it was for the best if they simply let their association fade. After all, she’d be leaving soon.