by Karis Walsh
“Can you stay?”
Jan’s words caught Tina by surprise. A jumble of images raced through her mind—Jan underneath her, over her, putting on her satiny boxers just so Tina could rip them off again. She pushed the thoughts aside and tried to concentrate on being the sensible one. Jan seemed better suited for the job, but she was apparently giving up her role as most practical person in the car. “I shouldn’t. I mean, of course I want to, but it wouldn’t be right to—”
“To lead me on?” Jan finished her sentence with a smile.
“Well, yeah.”
“I’m not a fool, Tina. I know it would just be tonight. But maybe I don’t want it to mean anything more, either. Maybe reality has worn me down, and I need a night of fantasy. Just one night.”
Tina grabbed Jan’s hand and briefly kissed her palm, her wrist. She was tempted by Jan’s offer. Not because she wanted a no-strings, one-night stand. But because she was afraid to look too closely at what she did want. And she was just as scared at the prospect of letting Jan go. “Don’t think it wouldn’t mean anything. I care about you, but I…”
Jan moved her hand out of Tina’s grasp, sliding it along her cheekbone and letting it rest alongside Tina’s neck. She kept her touch casual, fighting the urge to trace Tina’s collarbone with her fingers until she reached the buttons on her shirt. They looked easy enough to rip open. “Of course it would mean something, to both of us. But it doesn’t have to mean everything.”
Jan waited while Tina seemed to struggle with herself. Jan was patient because she had spent most of the day facing the same internal struggle, and she had finally reached her decision. Just because there was no one left to convince they were a couple didn’t mean the game had to stop. Why not have a night together, too? Jan knew it was a stupid decision, knew she would be left alone and hurt after Tina went home, but she would deal with the pain later. And she would survive it. Not having this night together was a much worse option. She had gotten a small taste of being Tina’s girlfriend, and she wanted more, wanted to know what it would be like to be satisfied completely with Tina. And then she’d let her go.
Tina finally leaned over and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, lingering to rest her forehead against Jan’s. “Yes, sugar dumpling. I’ll spend the night.”
Jan groaned and shoved her away. “First, we’re going to set some ground rules about what you’re allowed to call me, or I promise, I’ll kick you out of bed.”
Chapter Twelve
Tina followed Jan up the stairs, being careful to walk softly so she wouldn’t wake Jan’s dad. She had imagined this scenario this morning when she had watched Jan go upstairs to get dressed. Chasing Jan up to her room, throwing her on the bed, pulling those boxers off fast and rough enough to tear them. Passionate. Exciting. She supposed she should be turned on by the memories of sneaking past a girlfriend’s sleeping parents—something she hadn’t done for years—but the quiet house only seemed to shout responsibility.
But, still, she didn’t want to leave. She closed the door to the little bedroom behind them and leaned against it while Jan crossed the room and took off her shoes and jacket. Tina expected to be thrown into a panic in the midst of quiet preparations for bed, grown-up obligations, and the uncertainty of her future with Jan. Instead, she felt as if she was waiting, listening, like she did when she heard a new tune. Before she played it and made it her own.
Tina stayed where she was as Jan sat on the bed and watched her in silence. Jan knew her reputation, and she was probably waiting for Tina to make the first move. Usually she would. She’d initiate sex as soon as she and her girlfriend-of-the-week were behind closed doors, if not before. She always liked the women she dated, enjoyed their company at dinner and in bed, but she rarely wanted to know more about them than what kind of wine they drank or the color of their underwear. And she certainly wasn’t interested in anything that meant too much or probed too deep, like how they decorated their bedrooms, how they lived and ordered their lives. She was just passing through on her way to somewhere else, and it was best to keep things shallow. But tonight was different. She looked around the small room, decorated in shades of blue and green.
“I expected your room to be pink,” she said with a smile.
“Please, I’m not a little girl anymore,” Jan said, looking at the walls, the floor, anywhere but at Tina. Finally she laughed. “Okay, I gave Dad my master suite while his arm is healing because it’s downstairs and has an en suite bathroom. It’s rose and cream,” she said with a guilty smile. “Rose sounds much more grown-up than pink.”
“Oh, definitely,” Tina agreed with a laugh. She edged past the bed and went over to the desk that had been placed against the far wall. She turned the chair around to sit and face Jan, their knees nearly touching in the cramped room.
“Don’t try to convince me you’re shy,” Jan said. Her smile seemed a bit wary now. “If you don’t want to be here…”
Tina reached out and captured one of Jan’s hands. She kissed her knuckles, biting one gently. “Oh, I want to be here. Very much.” She cradled Jan’s hand in her lap. “But I don’t want to rush. Why don’t we just talk first?”
“Because three hours of conversation in the car wasn’t enough?” Jan asked in a teasing tone. She gave Tina’s hand a squeeze. “Okay. What shall we talk about?”
Tina hesitated. She wasn’t sure where to begin, how to articulate her thoughts to Jan when they didn’t make sense in her own mind. When the incoherent notes floating inside her didn’t resemble any song she’d ever known. “I don’t know,” she said. Brilliant.
Jan smiled. She had been worried Tina might be regretting her decision to stay the night, had regretted not suggesting they go to an anonymous hotel instead of here, to her home and all it represented. But the feel of Tina’s teeth against her fingers, the way Tina was stroking her hand and wrist, gave her confidence. Tina wanted her, too, and although she was moving slowly—whether for Jan’s benefit or her own—she wasn’t trying to stop. Jan had been expecting to stay passive, to let Tina take control and lead them through the night on her own terms, staying within her comfort zone. But there was an unexpected uncertainty about her, and Jan stepped up to take the lead.
“Why don’t I start?” she asked. She settled on her side, propped up on one elbow while her other hand remained firm in Tina’s grasp. “I’ll tell you a story. About the first time I saw you and imagined us together.”
She could see Tina swallow, but her expression stayed calm. “I like stories,” Tina said.
“Good. So, I was in a church, at my best friend’s wedding rehearsal. Hardly a proper place to be thinking about sex. But I was staring at one of the quartet members, watching her play the processional, and I couldn’t help myself.”
“You’re only human,” Tina said.
“I know,” Jan continued, sighing as Tina’s fingertips traced a path up her forearm. She wanted to grab Tina and kiss her. Replace words with actual contact. But she struggled to keep talking, even though every ounce of her body’s attention concentrated on the area where Tina was touching her. “Anyway, she was playing with vibrato, and I swear I could feel her fingers moving over me, in me. She was biting her lip, and I could feel her teeth against my neck, my stomach…” Jan switched from the dreamy tone to her normal voice. “Unfortunately, I later found out she had slept with Brooke, so I had to change my focus to the violinist.”
Tina gave her a slap on the wrist. “Amusing, but untrue. I saw you staring at me during the entire rehearsal.”
“Only because you were staring back.”
Tina kissed the spot she had just slapped. “Go on. Finish the story.”
“Later that night, I was lying in my hotel bed and thinking about her. I wanted to call, to invite her to the hotel bar for a drink.”
Tina got off her chair and moved to sit on the bed. Jan scooted up until she was lying on her back, her head resting on the pillow.
“That explains why you sounded s
o flustered when I suggested we meet in the bar at the Davenport.”
Jan smiled. “I confess, I was remembering all the things I had imagined you doing to me. Under the table in the bar, in the elevator, the hall, my room…”
Tina braced one hand on the bed next to Jan’s head. The fingers of her other hand drew lazy circles on Jan’s neck. “When you were in the hotel room thinking about me, did you touch yourself?”
Jan felt a tightening in her throat. Having Tina so close yet barely touching, the intensity of words bridging the distance between them, was overwhelming. “Well, no. Brooke was in the other bed crying at the time. Very frustrating,” Jan said. “But other nights, in other beds? Yes, I did.”
Tina brushed her nose against Jan’s, and Jan involuntarily rose slightly off the bed, reaching for Tina’s lips. But Tina pulled back. “You have a real gift for this,” she said. “Tell me another story. The one about the night we played pool.”
“Ah, the night I beat you at pool. That’s a good story.”
Tina laughed again and settled on her side next to Jan, rubbing her cheek against Jan’s shoulder.
“I was wet before we even got to the pool table,” Jan said, finding it easier to talk without eye contact. Tina made a strangled sound and pressed closer, wrapping her arm around Jan’s waist. “I watched you on stage, and I wanted you so much. I wanted to lick the sweat off your neck, wanted to feel how strong your arms were while you were leaning over me.”
“I was playing for you,” Tina whispered, close to her ear. The feel of her breath, as much as the words themselves, made Jan shiver. “I wasn’t sure I could make it back to my seat without falling because all through the song I was picturing being with you.”
“Mmm, and then the pool game,” Jan continued. “You were so close behind me, but not touching.”
Tina laughed and flicked her tongue along Jan’s neck. “Because I couldn’t stop staring at your ass,” she said, sliding her hand under Jan and cupping her bottom. The combination of her tongue and hand made Jan gasp. She had never been so turned on.
Tina felt Jan shift restlessly beside her, felt the heat from between her legs as she moved her hand from Jan’s ass to her thigh. She was torn by the need to start ripping off clothes and take Jan now, and the desire to keep the pace slow. She was sure Jan was as ready as she was. Her change in pace would probably be welcomed. But Tina wanted slow, wanted to build something, even if it took all night. Even if she passed out in frustration halfway through. She took a deep breath and exhaled against Jan’s jawline, smiling as Jan made a whimpering sound and bit her lower lip.
“What happened next?” Tina prompted. “You came home and went to bed. To this bed?”
“Yes,” Jan said, her eyes closed.
“And did you take your top off?”
“Yes,” Jan repeated, a small smile on her lips as Tina rose to a sitting position.
“I need some visuals with this story, so let’s try to recreate it as accurately as possible,” Tina said, reaching for the hem of Jan’s shirt. “No,” she said when Jan started to help her. “Keep your eyes closed and let me. Just shift a little…there.”
Tina tossed Jan’s shirt and bra onto the floor. She waged another battle between moving fast or painfully slow as she stared at Jan’s breasts, their nipples tight and rosy and so beautiful Tina thought she might cry. Slow won again, but by a much smaller margin. She permitted herself one slow stroke across Jan’s chest, watching Jan arch toward her touch, before she settled her hand lightly on Jan’s stomach.
“What about jeans? I remember you were wearing them at the pub, and oh my, did they fit you well. But did you take them off before you got into bed?”
Jan pressed the heel of her hand against her eyes and nodded. Tina was glad to see Jan look as tortured as she herself felt. She wouldn’t be able to last much longer. She slowly unbuttoned Jan’s pants, easing her fingers beyond the edge of the denim and tracing them along Jan’s lower abdomen before she slid the jeans down Jan’s legs. Tina could smell her arousal, could feel the damp crotch of the jeans in her hand as she resisted the urge to yank them off. She turned her attention to Jan’s yellow panties, dropping a quick kiss on her mound before she slid the scrap of cotton off and dropped it on the growing pile of clothing on the floor.
“So,” Tina said, keeping her words and voice calm even though she felt anything but. “You were in bed, naked. Then what?”
“You touched me, I came, the end,” Jan said in a rush.
Tina laughed and rose onto her knees, straddling Jan’s hips but still barely brushing against her bare skin. “Your storytelling skills are degrading,” she said, licking a trail from Jan’s stomach to her throat. Her hair brushed against Jan’s nipples, and she felt the touch like a tangible thing.
“I won’t be able to string two words together much longer,” Jan said.
“Do you realize you’re naked and lying beneath me, but we haven’t even kissed yet?” Tina asked, her face only centimeters from Jan’s.
“That somehow seems inappropriate,” Jan said, her mouth curving in a smile. “Maybe you should do something about it.”
“Maybe something like this?” Tina asked, pressing her lips against Jan’s with gentle pressure. “Or this,” she suggested as she tugged on Jan’s lower lip with her teeth. “Or—”
The third time, Jan rose up and met her halfway, opening her mouth in an invitation Tina couldn’t refuse. Her tongue found Jan’s as she dropped onto her elbows, her weight easing down and against Jan’s naked body. All of Tina’s waiting, her self-control, her hesitation disappeared as she sank into Jan’s welcoming kiss. Slow was no longer an option. She felt Jan’s need, and it overrode her own. One arm supported her weight while the other moved between their bodies, until Tina’s hand gently rested between Jan’s thighs, cupping her loosely, close enough for Tina to feel how wet Jan was.
“I want…” Jan said when Tina lifted her head, breaking away from her kiss.
“I know,” Tina said with a smile. Jan was so gorgeous, with her gold hair fanned out on the pillow and her eyes dark and unfocused. She slid her trembling fingers into Tina’s hair and Tina leaned into the tight hold, anchoring herself to Jan. “But tell me anyway.”
“Touch me, please, right there…” Jan whispered, her words punctuated with small gasps as Tina followed her commands. “Feel how wet I am for you. Yes…”
Tina groaned as Jan drew the simple word out, lengthening the one syllable as Tina slowly stroked her. “Tell me more,” Tina demanded, her voice rough with desire.
“I need you in…side…Fuck, yes. Just like that,” Jan whimpered as she pressed her hips against Tina’s hand, guiding her as much by her actions as by her words. Tina moved in her, over her, as she matched Jan’s rhythm and then gradually increased her pressure and speed until she took control of their pace. She sensed Jan trying to slow down, but instead of matching her hesitation, Tina increased the pressure of her fingers and thumb, relentlessly driving Jan toward her climax.
“Now,” Tina said, holding her hand gently over Jan’s mouth to muffle her cries. “Come. Now.”
Jan did, biting Tina’s hand as she felt her body, her muscles, her heart contract and then release in one terrifying burst of power. Tina stopped moving but stayed close, pressing firmly against Jan’s clit until she shuddered once more and then sagged wearily on the bed. Tina released her, curving her damp hand around Jan’s waist and resting her head on Jan’s chest.
“You bit me really hard,” Tina said, her voice somewhat muffled as she burrowed close. Jan wrapped both arms around her.
“Sorry,” she said. “If I hadn’t, I would have screamed.” She laughed and then sighed as a small aftershock trembled through her body. Tina moaned quietly as if sharing the sensation.
“If I admit I kind of liked it, would I scare you off?” Tina asked.
“Not a chance,” Jan said, her hands sifting through Tina’s hair, starting with a slow tempo and graduall
y increasing the pace. She slowly registered the different textures against her overly sensitive skin. Tina’s face, her soft hair, the wooly scratch of her green fisherman sweater, the rough denim jeans. “Why are you still wearing clothes?”
“No time to take them off,” Tina murmured. “Couldn’t stop touching you.”
Jan stretched her legs and felt Tina’s hips press against her. A gentle rush of power struck her as she realized how attuned Tina was to her every move. A shift of her thigh, a stroke of her fingers, a brush of her lips against Tina’s hair. Tina seemed sensitive to every nuance of Jan’s body, and Jan knew it wasn’t because the touches were overtly sexual or demanding, but because Jan’s own arousal and release had built up this energy in Tina’s body. Tina had been turned on by touching her, and the simple knowledge was thrilling to Jan.
She loosened her hold. “Get undressed,” she said. Tina sat up and gave her a quick kiss before she stood, her back to Jan, and started to pull her sweater over her head.
“Wait.” Jan got off the bed and came to stand behind Tina. She wrapped her arms around Tina’s middle, gently disengaging her hands from the sweater’s hem.
“Please don’t tell me you’re changing your mind now,” Tina said in a low voice laced with desire and impatience.
Jan laughed. “Of course not.” She felt Tina relax into her embrace. “Why the boardwalk?” she asked.
“What?”
“Why did you pick the boardwalk as the place of our fictional first kiss? Was it the first time you felt attracted to me?”
“No way. I thought you were beautiful and sexy when I first saw you at the rehearsal. And when we met for drinks in the Peacock Room. And definitely in the pub, when you were leaning over the pool table. I wanted to take you right then.”
“So,” Jan said, grinding her hips against Tina’s ass. “Back to my original question. Why’d you choose the pier?”