by Davy Ocean
Joe hovers over the bed, counting something on his tentacles. “One, two, three, four, five, six,” he counts out loud. “You do know that staying in bed all day is the seventh most dangerous thing to do in the world? What if there’s a reefquake? You’ll be tangled in your blankets and won’t be able to get out. It’s very, very dangerous staying in bed.”
I push back the covers and sit up angrily. “I don’t want to see anyone today. Not today, or for the rest of the vacation!”
Ralph and Joe look at each other.
“You’re not still upset about yesterday, are you?” Ralph asks.
“Yes, Ralph, I am,” I say, crossing my fins.
“Don’t be silly,” Ralph says with a smile. “Remember how we laughed at Joe when he got TWANGED off the seahorse in Shark Park? He didn’t become all moody and say he didn’t want to see anyone, did he?”
Well, no. He didn’t.
“And,” Ralph goes on, “what about when I went into the girls’ bathroom by mistake on the first day of school? You and Joe laughed so hard I thought you were going to explode. But I didn’t get all dopey and not talk to you, did I?”
No. He didn’t.
I uncross my fins. A bit.
“Come on, Harry, it’s only the second day of vacation. We have a whole week to have fun. Let’s forget about yesterday.”
Ralph has a point. I completely uncross my fins and get out of bed.
“All right,” I say. “But we aren’t going anywhere near any cameras, okay?”
Within a couple of seconds we’re out the window and I’m calling to my mom in the kitchen as I swim past. “I’m going to the park with Ralph and Joe.”
“But what about your cough?” Mom cries after me.
“It’s much better, thanks.”
“But what about your breakfast?”
“I don’t want any.”
“You haven’t had any breakfast?” Ralph looks at me, panic-stricken.
“Nope. Sorry,” I say.
“If this keeps up, I’m going to waste away! I’ll shrink from a pilot fish into a pilchard, and then where will you be?”
“I don’t know.”
“At the dentist with rotten teeth, that’s where, because I didn’t clean them for you.”
“All right, all right,” I say. “I’ll have double helpings tomorrow, okay?”
Ralph thinks about this. “Okay, but I prefer seaweedies, not prawn flakes.”
I sigh and nod. “Can we get going now, please?”
All this talk about food is making my tummy moan and rumble. I wish I hadn’t pretended to be sick. I wish I’d gotten my teeth around Mom’s sea-cow steaks!
When we get to the park, we’re the first on the swings. We even manage to get Joe to take a turn.
Joe swings up high as Ralph pushes him and I swim in front, high-finning Joe’s tentacles as he comes close. But then Ralph gives one huge push and Joe is sent spinning right over the top of the swing and flying straight toward me!
PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP. PLAP.
. . . is the sound of Joe’s tentacles sticking to my hammerhead as Joe holds on for dear life and we fall back onto the seabed.
After that, the three of us are laughing so hard that I’ve completely forgotten about yesterday.
Except . . .
FLUBBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Suddenly, my stupid hammerhead is boinging all over the place and I can’t see a thing as my eyes swivel and shake.
“Hello, Rubberhead!”
It’s Rick.
He’s sneaked up behind me and flubbered my head with his fin. Ralph and Joe catch hold of each end of my hammer to stop the shaking.
Donny, Cora, and Pearl are there too, laughing at me as Rick circles around us. “Hey, it’s Harry Hammer-the star of the funniest film of all time. Can’t wait until that one HITS the theater!” laughs Rick. “It’s going to be a MASSIVE SMASH, just like it was on that boat!”
Rick and Donny can hardly swim upright, they’re laughing so much.
I’m about to tell Ralph and Joe that we should go and leave those two jokers behind, when suddenly something catches my nose. Sharks have the best sense of smell in the ocean, and hammerheads have some of the best senses of all the sharks, so I’m the first one to smell it.
It’s a warm, fishy, tasty, yummy smell, and it’s getting right in my nostrils. I can feel it sliding right down my throat and into my very empty tummy.
It is such a delicious smell. It doesn’t just make my tummy rumble, it makes it almost shake with hunger, almost as if Rick has flubbered it!
I turn away from Rick, toward the direction of the smell.
Rick is a little annoyed by this. It’s not the reaction he’s expecting. He fins me on the shoulder. “Hey, don’t turn away when I’m laughing at you!”
But I can’t concentrate. The smell and the taste are beautiful, and my tummy is telling me to follow it, whatever Rick might be saying. I kick away and use my shark sense to lock on to the delicious aroma. I can dimly hear that Rick is following me, telling anyone who’ll listen what a weirdo I am.
“Harry! Wait!” calls Ralph, but I can’t help myself. When a shark gets hold of a scent, especially one as tasty as this, there’s no stopping them. I must find out what it is, and I don’t care what else is happening!
I kick faster.
“Listen, Rubberhead, if you . . . oh . . . oh . . . WHAT IS THAT SMELL?” Rick has obviously caught the scent too.
I kick even faster. Whatever it is, I want to get to it first.
“H-H-H-Harry!!” calls Joe. “Don’t go that way! It’s toward the open o-o-o-ocean!”
But I’m not listening to Joe, either. All I can hear is the rumbling in my tummy, and all I can smell is the tasty scent.
“Come on, Joe, we’d better follow them!” I hear Ralph calling to Joe, but I’m too far gone. I’m out of the park now, swimming faster and faster. I can hear Rick talking as he kicks faster too. “That is the most delicious thing I’ve ever smelled,” he says dreamily.
I kick harder. Rick is not getting there first.
Faster.
Faster.
I can feel the drool coming out of the corners of my mouth. I want that food, I want it now, and I’m going to get it FIRST!
Faster!
FASTER!!
We’re right off Shark Point now, out over the seaweed fields where the shepherd fish tend their flocks. The scent is dragging us down into the forest of seaweed growing there. But it doesn’t slow me down. I keep kicking and I can feel Rick’s breath on my tail.
He’s closing.
FASTER!!!!
FASTER!!!!
In the dim distance, I can hear Ralph and Joe shouting, “Watch out!!! Harry, WATCH OUT!!!”
And then I can hear Donny shouting too. “RICK, STOP! STOP!!!”
But the scent. It’s too strong. I can’t stop.
So as I burst between the thick fronds of seaweed, it’s much too late to see that I’m heading straight toward two wet-suited leggies, holding lights and cameras while floating inside a huge cage!
Rick and I are going too fast to stop!
We’re going to crash right into them!
What happened next is a bit confusing, as you can see from the list that follows.
2. WHAM! CRASH! TWAAAAAAANNNNNGGGGG!!!
4. I go bouncing and boinging off into the deep.
3. My hammerhead doesn’t get stuck. For once.
1. We both put the breaks on, but we hit the cage at FULL SPEED!
See what I mean? Completely confusing.
I’ve bounced off the cage and am somersaulting through the water. I flap my fins, desperately trying to slow myself down. Eventually I get control over my body, but my head is a whole other problem! It’s vibrating worse than when Rick flubbers it with his fin. I shake my head and try to stop the movement, and after a few seconds the ocean stops r
ocking and I can start to make sense of what’s happened.
The film crew has dropped a shark cage into the water and is filming from it. A shark cage isn’t for catching sharks, it’s to keep the leggies from getting eaten by the sharks they’re filming.
“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!” For a moment, I think that Humphrey has followed me all the way from home, but then I realize it’s me making that noise. I look down at my tummy and I remember how hungry I am. The smell of food that drew Rick and me here at full speed is almost too strong to bear. I turn on my hammer-vision and see that on the seabed all around the shark cage, the leggies have poured buckets and buckets of juicy, yummy, lovely shrimp!
They’ve obviously done it to get sharks to appear, so Rick and I have done exactly what they want. I don’t care, though. Opening my mouth wide, I start to swim about like crazy, shoveling in as much shrimp as I possibly can.
It’s the most amazing shrimp I’ve ever tasted, and I honestly can’t get enough. The delicious scent of it is in my nostrils, and the taste going all the way down from my mouth to my rapidly filling tummy is just mind-blowing.
In fact, I’m so busy concentrating on getting as much shrimp as possible that I almost don’t realize that someone is calling for help.
Swallowing hard, I turn my hammer-vision back to normal and see that Rick is caught in the bars of the cage!
The leggies seem delighted and are tickling him under the chin and patting him on the head as he struggles to get free.
“Help! Help!” he sobs. “Please get me out of here!”
I can’t help laughing a little to myself as I shark down another mouthful of shrimp. Poor Rick. I suppose I should help him, but then I notice that the film crew is pointing their lights and cameras right at me.
I feel my cheeks turning red in embarrassment as I remember what happened yesterday, and I start to cringe. I bet they’re filming me because they’re still making their movie about comedy sharks, and I’m clearly the most hilarious shark in the water.
I’m about to swim away and go hide, when I see the woman leggie reach down into the cage and take the lid off another fresh bucket of shrimp. She pours it into the water right in front of me, and then gives me a massive thumbs-up. She wants me to eat!
I dart forward into the cloud of tasty shrimp and barrel roll into a half fin curl. The leggies applaud and lift their cameras and turn the lights on again. They want me to bust some more moves!
I don’t need any more encouragement, and as I leap forward I have completely forgotten about yesterday and all the embarrassment. This is awesome! I’m finally getting the chance to show everyone what I can really do. I power up over the cage, twisting into a radical ninety-degree hammer shift (the move only hammerheads can do, and the one I never do around Rick because it always makes him flubber me). The leggies throw out even more shrimp as I turn that trick into a belly crunch and slide-swish right along the top of the cage.
“Harry! Harry! What about me?” calls Rick, still trying to get his head out from between the bars.
I rub past Rick and tail-tickle him, which drives the leggies crazy. They love it!
“Help! Help!” Rick cries.
“Har-ry! Har-ry!”
What?
I turn around, and I can’t believe what I see. Not only have Ralph and Joe and Donny arrived, but Cora and Pearl have followed them out of the park, and the dolphin twins are chanting my name!
Ralph and Joe are clapping along as Cora and Pearl chant.
“Har-ry! Har-ry!!”
And I’m off again, swishing up past the cage. Using my hammer as an extra fin, so that I can turn quicker and tighter than any other shark, I twist into an ever-tighter spiral.
Building up speed.
Faster
Faster.
Just like yesterday. But this time I’m going to be heading down.
Faster!
FASTER!!!!
And then BANG!
With the sun above me lighting the water in an explosion of glittering sparkles, I race down toward the cameras and the cage. I triple-gill, run three simultaneous back pikes, and roll into a totally cool three-quarter gnash master. With a whoop and a yell I fall past the cage, do a complete body stall, a gnarly nose-endy, a floaty inside-outy that goes straight into a perfect outside-inny that Rick would have been over the moon to pull, and then, to finish off, using the edge of my hammer as a lever, I POP Rick right out of the bars and out into the open water!
The leggies are going crazy. The light is on me, they’re following my every move with the camera, and they’re kicking their last buckets of shrimp into the water all around me.
I spin up, openmouthed, through the shrimp, eating every bit.
As I turn back to the cage, I fold my fin across my now-full tummy and bow to the cage and the leggies inside. They’ve dropped their cameras and lights and are just applauding and cheering along with Ralph, Joe, Cora, and Pearl.
Rick doesn’t hang around. I can see from his cheeks that he is just as embarrassed as I was yesterday. He pulls Donny away from the group and heads back toward Shark Point.
“Hey, Rick,” Pearl calls out as he slinks away, “bet you wish you were a hammerhead, don’t you? That way your pointy head wouldn’t have gotten stuck in the cage.”
Cora giggles. “I can see how much you scared those leggies, too. They were so scared, they could only tickle you under the chin!”
Soon Rick and Donny can no longer be seen.
And everyone else is laughing and cheering with me.
Except Ralph.
Ralph has pried open my mouth and is eyeing all the bits of shrimp stuck between my teeth.
“Breakfast at last!” he yells as he dives in!
Ralph, Joe, and I are just about the last Shark Pointers to get into the movie theater tonight. It is absolutely packed.
We thread our way carefully between the rows, trying to get to our seats before the movie starts. I ache all over from those moves I pulled for the leggies in the shark cage earlier. It’ll be a while before I do anything like that again, but it was a whole lot of fun.
I have a humongous tub of shrimpopcorn, and Ralph’s got two, having decided to take a night off from eating stuff from between my teeth. I think this has more to do with the fact that Dad has finally given me my allowance and I am paying!
Joe is too scared of the shrimpopcorn machine to get close enough to pick up a tub, so he had some “nice, safe ice cream instead, not too cold, though, because I don’t want to get a frostbitten tentacle.”
As we get to our seats I see that Cora and Pearl are two rows in front of us. They’ve got their aqua-phones on and are seaberry messaging all their friends. Cora catches sight of me and fins Pearl, who looks up. They both smile and wave. Then they hold up their aqua-phones and I see that they’re not just messaging their friends, they’re posting pictures and videos of me pulling all those stunts on to Plaicebook!
I, of course, turn red. But luckily, in the dim light of the theater, no one knows except me.
Phew!
Girls.
I sit down between Joe and Ralph, just as the lights go down and the movie begins.
WHAM!!!
Gregor is there on the screen, all huge and white and toothy. And pretty soon he’s wrestling squids, and sword-fighting narwhals and racing to save the damselfish in distress.
It’s great watching Gregor up on the screen, and for a moment I think about my two days in front of the camera being a movie star. Yeah, it was great for a while, but when I think about my . . .
1. Aching fins (ouch)
2. Bruised hammer (ouchy)
3. All the flubbering Rick did with my hammerhead (ouchy boingy)
4. Pictures of me appearing EVERYWHERE (cringey)
5. How tired I feel right now (zzzzz)
. . . all because of one small movie I was accidentally in, I think that maybe I just don’t have the energy to do it full-time zzzzzzzzzz . . .
Ralph and
Joe wake me up at the end of Parrot Fish of the Caribbean.
As we swim back home I realize that even though I don’t want to be a world-famous movie star anymore, and even though I missed my hero Gregor’s first-ever movie, at least one fintastic thing has happened. This vacation hasn’t been boring at all!
Meet Harry and the Shark Point gang. . . .
HARRY
Species: hammerhead shark
You’ll spot him . . .
using his special hammer-vision
Favorite thing: his Gregor the Gnasher poster
Most likely to say: “I wish I was a great white.”
Most embarrassing moment: when Mom called him her “little starfish” in front of all his friends
RALPH
Species:
pilot fish
You’ll spot him . . .
eating the food from between Harry’s teeth!
Favorite thing: shrimp Pop-Tarts
Most likely to say: “So, Harry, what’s for breakfast today?”
Most embarrassing moment: eating too much cake on Joe’s birthday. His face was COVERED in pink plankton icing.
JOE
Species: jellyfish
You’ll spot him . . . hiding behind Ralph and Harry, or behind his own tentacles
Favorite thing: his cave, since it’s nice and safe
Most likely to say: “If we do this, we’re going to end up as fish food. . . .”
Most embarrassing moment: whenever his rear goes TOOT, which is when he’s scared. Which is all the time.
RICK
Species: blacktip reef shark
You’ll spot him . . . bullying smaller fish or showing off
Favorite thing: his black leather jacket
Most likely to say: “Last one there’s a sea snail!”
Most embarrassing moment: none. Rick’s far too cool to get embarrassed.