"She sounds like a smart lady."
"She was."
"Was?"
"Yes. She died shortly after I graduated from college."
"I'm sorry, Sarah. It sounds like you were close."
"We were close. She got sick my last year of college, so after I graduated I moved back home to Illinois to help Dad take care of her. She died four months later."
"I'm so sorry."
"Thank you. I'm glad I moved back home, though, so I had those last four months with her. My dad and I got closer during that time, too. We helped each other through a really rough time."
"I'm glad he was there for you."
"Yeah, me, too. You know, it's kind of funny. I always thought nothing exciting ever happened in that small town I grew up in, and planned on moving away after college. But then after Mom died, I took a job teaching English at my old high school that next year, just so I could stay close to my dad. We had become closer than we had been while I was growing up, and that was special to me."
"That sounds good. I'm glad you found that closeness."
"I am, too. I always wanted to write, but it's hard to make a living doing that, which is why I was teaching. Dad encouraged me to start writing some, too, so I did. I had a few short stories published, which was very encouraging, but I didn't have the money to live on while I tried writing full time, so I continued teaching, and writing when I could."
"What changed? You're just writing now. Did you write a best seller that I don't know about?"
Sarah chuckled. "I wish. No, I'm really just getting started on my writing." She swallowed hard, squared her shoulders, and continued her story. "One day I came home to find Charlie Sanders, a neighbor of ours, at our front door, knocking. He's also the chief of police, and I knew right away something was wrong. I got out of my car and he came over to me. He put his arm around me and asked if we could go inside. When we got inside, he sat me down on the couch and held my hands while he told me there had been a terrible accident. A man driving a truck was obviously drunk, and headed for a school bus that was stopped, unloading kids. All the witnesses said Dad obviously saw the out of control pickup careening straight toward the bus, and purposely drove his car in front of the bus, in essence saving the lives of all the children. It killed him, but the kids and bus driver were all fine."
"So he was a hero," Heath said quietly.
"He was. The town's people all gathered around me and helped me through it. I honestly don't know what I would have done without all their love and support. They kept telling me how proud I should be of my father, and I was. I truly was proud of him."
"It's still hard, though," he said, rubbing her arm gently for support.
"It was. And as much as I appreciated their love and support, after a couple years I was drowning in it. I had been seeing a grief counselor, and she was a great help. She made me realize that although I loved both my parents and were proud of them, they were gone, and no amount of grieving was going to bring them back. She also made me see that they wouldn't have wanted me to spend my life grieving for them."
"Good for her."
"She was great. So I was ready to move on with my life, but it was hard. To that small town, I was the poor daughter of their hero. As much as I needed their love and support to get through the accident and the next several months, that same love and support had now become pity and sorrow. It was as if the whole little town was still grieving for their hero. It was dragging me down. I knew I had to do something, but I didn't know what."
"Did you continue teaching this whole time?"
"I did. I was kind of drifting through life at that point, doing what I was used to doing, kind of like I was on auto pilot. I wasn't ready for any change in my life yet at that point. I took a couple weeks off right after the accident, but then went back to teaching, needing the routine."
"I understand."
"The driver of the pickup truck had insurance, but only $100,000. The insurance company offered the entire amount, and I took it. Our family attorney told me Dad had under-insured coverage on his truck and I could refuse that offer and go to court, in which case Dad's insurance would cover whatever the judge or jury awarded above the total the other driver had, but I didn't want to do that. I would have had to file a lawsuit, given a deposition, maybe more, answered lots of questions, talked to attorneys, and gone to court, where I would have had to testify. More importantly, I would have had to listen to the whole incident being replayed again. All that would have done is kept me thinking about it, grieving about it even longer, and all just for more money. Money wasn't going to bring Dad back. We didn't have much money growing up, but I was happy, so I didn't see that a big stack of money was worth rehashing what happened over and over and over. I didn't want to relive the whole thing again and have to start the grieving process over from the beginning."
"Good for you," Heath said sincerely.
"I didn't really know what I would have done with the money, anyway, so it wasn't that important to me. I got the $100,000, and I put it in a savings account. I figured I'd wait until my mind was clearer to decide what to do with it."
"Another good decision," Heath praised.
She smiled a bit. "As it turns out, yes, it was. At the time, it was more because I didn't know what else to do with it. When I realized I was ready to move on with my life, but the town wasn't, I didn't know what to do. I took the week of spring break to come out here to the ocean. I hoped the change of scenery and fresh, sea air would help me decide what to do."
"Did it?"
"No, not really. While I was out here, though, I saw some kids selling raffle tickets, and I bought one."
"And the rest, as they say, is history?"
She chuckled, but agreed. "Yep. When I got the call that I'd won, I decided this was my answer, so I gave notice at work, put the house on the market, and called the moving company, all in the same day so I couldn't back out. During the last six weeks of the school year, I did some thinking. At that time, the only thing that seemed to cheer me up was the writing I was doing. So I made a decision. I had planned on applying for a teaching job out here, but decided not to. While I'm moving, I figured I may as well have a whole new start and try my hand at writing for a living. I have the money from the insurance company and from the sale of the house. Although it sounds like a lot of money to me, I'm not totally naive. I know I can't retire, or even live off of it for very long, but I figured without a house payment, if I continue to live fairly modestly, it should be enough for a few years, which should give me sufficient time to give writing a fair chance. If it doesn't work out, then I'll look for another teaching job."
Heath pulled her into his arms a bit tighter and kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry for what you've been through, but I'm proud of you. You've made what sound to me like some very good, very brave decisions. I hope it all works out for you. I know I'm glad you're here."
"Thank you, Heath," she said, turning toward him for a kiss, which he was quick to give.
"Thank you for sharing your story with me," he said. "I know it wasn't easy to talk about."
"It wasn't, but I'm glad I did."
"I am, too. I care a great deal about you, and I feel as though I know a little more about you now. I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything. I don't want us to have any secrets, or feel as though we can't be open with each other. I think that's important in a relationship."
"I think so, too, and thank you." The kiss he gave her was filled with passion. It left no doubt in her mind he meant what he'd said.
The next several days they both felt a closeness they hadn't felt before. She told him a couple times that she felt better since they'd talked and she'd shared that with him. He hoped that would help her focus and she wouldn't be as careless.
Chapter Two
The next week as he was taking his garbage down to the curb he glanced over and noticed hers hadn't been set out again. She told him she was going to start putting it
out the evening before so she wouldn't forget, but had apparently forgotten again. Once again, after taking his down to the curb, he went and opened her garage door and got hers.
When he got back to the house, she was at the door, looking a bit sheepish. "Thank you again. Come on in, I'll fix us some breakfast."
She handed him a cup of coffee as he walked through her door, and they went to the kitchen. "I can't believe I forgot that again."
He took another sip of coffee before answering, "Again is right."
She got some eggs from the refrigerator, but he took them and put them on the counter, and turned her to face him. "Sarah, I'm really getting concerned about your forgetfulness. I'm going to have to do something about that. I'm afraid some day you're going to get hurt because of something you've forgotten."
She thought a moment, and pulled away from him, going over to the stove. "Heath, you're being dramatic. How is forgetting something suddenly so dangerous?"
Heath came over behind her at the stove and put his arms around her waist. He kissed her on top of her head and said, "I'm serious, honey. Don't take this lightly. There are many ways you can put yourself in danger, and you don't even realize you're doing it. I've seen some of them, and they've got to stop."
She turned around and gave him a quick kiss, then asked, "Like when? I appreciate your concern, but I think you worry too much. I'll be fine."
Heath frowned. "Okay, let's talk about a couple things that have concerned me. How about the time you ignored the check engine light in your car? Thank heavens I moved your car for you or I'd have never known the light was on. That belt was ready to break. If you'd have been driving when it broke, you'd have been stranded along the road somewhere, and that's definitely a dangerous situation."
"Okay, I admit I should have had that checked out sooner. I just thought it was a light that comes on all the time for no good reason. But how is being stranded along the road so dangerous? I'd just call AAA and they'd come get me."
Heath turned her back around facing him again. "Sweetheart, there are a lot of guys in this world that would love to come upon a pretty little slip of a thing like you stranded along the road. I just hate to think of what they'd do. I'd sure hope for your sake AAA could be there quickly, or I'd be close enough to come get you. You know you can always call me, too, don't you?"
"Yeah, I know. But then you'd chew me out the whole way home."
He looked at her eyes intently a few moments, before answering honestly. "You're right, I probably would. And then you'd do the same thing again some day."
Sarah was confused by the look on his face and the sound of his voice. "What makes you think I'd do it again?"
"Because talking to you doesn't seem to do much." When she still looked confused he went on. "Remember the time you got turned around in town and couldn't find your way home? You called me and I got you back on the highway, and then when you got home what did we do?"
Thinking back, she answered, "We talked about how important it was for me to have a map in my car since I'm in a new place I'm not familiar with."
"And did you get that map like I asked you to?"
Sarah suddenly became interested in the floor and didn't answer. She couldn't even look at him. Heath put his finger under her chin and gently lifted it up so she had to look at him. "Sarah, I'm waiting for an answer."
"No, I forgot until you looked in my glove box to be sure I had one."
"And you didn't, so we talked about it some more, didn't we, Sarah, on the way to get you one?" She nodded her head. "And that talk was so effective that two weeks later you found yourself lost in town again, this time in a section of town I don't want you being in alone, and where was your map?"
She looked in his eyes and could tell he was going to make her answer, so she reluctantly mumbled, "On my kitchen table, where I was using it to map out my route for the day."
"And so did you call me again to ask directions?" he continued.
"No, I didn't have my phone."
"And why not?"
"Because I forgot it. It was still on the charger at home."
"And have we ever talked about how important it is for you to have your phone with you at all times?"
Looking at the floor again, she nodded. "Yes, many times. I'm sorry, Heath. Really, I am. I just keep forgetting things. I don't know how to change."
He pulled her chin up to look into her eyes again and asked, "Do you want to change, Sarah? I mean, seriously, do you want to change?"
She quickly assured him, "Yes, Heath, I really do. I hate disappointing you, and every time I do something like that I see the disappointment in your eyes. I'd give anything to know how to change."
Heath pulled her to him and held her tight in his arms. "Well, Sarah, if you really want to change, I'll help you. You may not like it, but I think it's important. You don't know how worried I was when you got lost in the bad part of town that day. The policeman you saw in the parking lot and talked to is a friend of mine. When you mentioned how worried Heath would be, he thought I might be the Heath you were talking about, and gave me a call after he led you back to the main road, to be sure you got home. I'm just glad you saw him and stopped to ask him for help."
"So that's how you knew I'd gotten lost that day," she whispered. "I was so scared, and so glad to see you, that I never wondered until later how you knew I'd been lost and didn't have my phone."
Heath could tell she was nervous thinking about that incident again, and he tightened his arms around her and whispered into her ear, "Are you sure you're serious about wanting to change, sweetie?"
She looked at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Yes, very serious. You said you could help me?"
Heath looked deep into her eyes and saw the sincerity of what she was saying before warning her, "Yes, I can, and I will, but you probably won't like it."
"Why? What do you mean?"
"Sarah, it seems to me that when you do something like that, it's not only me who is upset with you, but it seems you're upset with yourself, as well. Am I right about that?" When she nodded her head in agreement, he went on. "It seems you have a hard time forgiving yourself sometimes."
She looked up at him, amazed. "How could you tell that?"
"I've been watching your reactions pretty closely lately because I've decided something has to change before you get hurt. You can't forgive yourself because there's no reason why you should. What you need is some consequences for your actions."
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is quite simple. You do something dangerous, something bad, you have consequences to pay. Then once you've paid the consequences, you'll be able to forgive yourself. It's pretty simple. It'll make it easier for me to keep forgiving you, as well. Right now you say you're sorry, but that's it. Nothing's changed. If you have consequences to pay for your bad decisions, they won't be fun, but afterward your debt will be paid. Those consequences will also deter you from making the same bad decision, knowing you'll have consequences to pay again."
Heath could tell Sarah was thinking seriously about what he'd just said. Finally, she asked, "What kind of consequences are you talking about?"
"I'm not sure yet. I haven't thought it clear through yet, but if you're really interested in changing, I'll do some more thinking and we'll talk again." She nodded her agreement. "What did your parents do when you were small and did something you shouldn't?"
She thought a while before answering. "Not much, really. I can't remember them doing anything other than telling me not to. One time they told me I was grounded for a week, but then a friend asked if I could go over to her house to play two days later. Mom asked if I thought I'd learned my lesson, and I assured her I had, so she said I could go. That was the end of the grounding. I don't remember anything else."
"So not only were you an only child, you were a spoiled little brat, huh?" Heath asked the question with a smile on his face and she knew he was teasing her, but she also realized there was some trut
h to what he said.
"I guess I may have been a tad bit spoiled," she admitted as they sat down to breakfast.
Heath chuckled at her confession, and changed the subject to lighter topics, asking her what she planned on doing today. After they ate and did the dishes together, he took her in his arms for a final kiss, then grinned as he told her, "Behave yourself today, spoiled little brat, and pay attention to what you're doing. I'll pick you up at 6:30 tonight for dinner."
She returned the kiss, then sat down at the table after he left. She thought about what he'd told her. She had to admit she probably was spoiled growing up, and she never had had to deal with any type of consequences. Maybe he was right and that would help her. But what kind of consequences did he have in mind? She decided whatever he decided on, she was going to give it a try. She was starting to realize how important Heath had become to her, and she didn't want to lose him. It wasn't fair to ask him to keep rescuing her when she forgot something, and she hated knowing she caused him to worry so much about her.
Sarah went into her office, but found she couldn't concentrate on her writing. She kept thinking back to Heath and their conversation. She decided to work in her flower gardens. She loved doing that, and it always got her mind off of things.
When that didn't help, she cleaned her house. After her house was clean, scrubbed, polished and waxed, she decided to go into town to get groceries. That was a chore she didn't particularly care for, and hoped it would at least get her mind off Heath for awhile. She had been thinking and worrying all day, and was starting to worry that he'd get tired of her forgetfulness and stop seeing her. That would be awful, especially since he lived right across the street. She'd have to see him, and to not have him to lean on would be terrible.
It was late afternoon when she finished her shopping, but she didn't realize how late until she glanced at her watch. She had to get going or she wouldn't be ready when Heath came to get her for dinner. She pulled out onto the road leading from town through the country to the quaint little development she lived in, a mere nine miles away. She was debating what she would wear tonight, when her car started to sputter. She looked down at the gas gauge, suddenly remembering she intended to fill up before going home. Sure enough, the gauge was on empty, and her car was sputtering badly. She pulled over so she was safely off to the side of the road, then reached for her phone, wondering whether she should call AAA or Heath. Heath was closer, and since she'd have to tell him she'd be late for dinner anyway, she decided to call him.
The Real Prize Page 2