The Kasparov Agenda (Omega Ops Legion Book 1)
Page 32
She shook her head. “It doesn’t stop hurting.”
Bruce read the gravestone. “He was a soldier in ‘Nam?”
“Yes. Cameron and I were going to be married one day.” She smiled. “Not anytime soon, but we knew... We knew.”
“War is a terrible thing. I’m sorry for your loss.”
She bit her lip. “I hate him for going. I told him not to enlist.”
Bruce began to feel a deep sadness for her. That, and something else, which he was compelled to share. “You know, my brother Doug was in the war.” Bruce pointed out the gravestone for her. “He was a smart guy, wise beyond his years. And when he enlisted, I asked him if he was scared...and you know what he did? He laughed at me. And then he asked me, ‘What’s there to be scared of?’ ”
The girl scoffed bitterly. “He didn’t care that he would be fighting for his life and that he could die?”
“And that’s exactly what I told him. Well, not in those exact words per se, but that was the gist of it.” As he reminisced, Bruce shook his head and wore a sombre smile. “He kept all of his feelings bottled up...or at least, I thought he did. The negative ones. I’ve never seen him sad or crying. He never really got angry... And he never showed fear.”
“For a smart guy, that doesn’t sound too smart...”
“Yeah, maybe. It wouldn’t have been smart if he did repress. But in hindsight, I don’t think he ever did. It was just the way he was wired. To comes to terms with things, accept them as they were, and make the best out of it. And all those negative feelings, they never had a place to grow. So even the prospect of death never really bothered him because, to him, it was just another part of life.”
The girl sniffled and wiped her nose. “I wish I could think like that.”
“Yeah, me too...” Bruce watched the girl. “You know...I actually pressed him that day, as to why he wasn’t scared. I thought he was crazy not to be. And he told me—that we can’t shy away from what we think is right out of fear. Not with the limited time we have. For better or for worse, that’s how you have to live your life...because regret can be a far worse feeling than fear. I guess both Doug and Cameron saw something there in the path of a soldier. And that’s why they took it.”
The girl looked sadly at the grave in front of her. “And now they’re both here. If it was right, then why was their time cut short?” She blinked several times and bit her lip, desperately trying to fight back a fresh wave of tears. “Why?”
“I don’t know... I couldn’t tell you. But maybe we can take consolation in them receiving some sort of truth. Some peace... Some happiness... Answers.”
The girl looked at Bruce, puzzled. “Answers?”
Bruce nodded. “To the questions we all ask but can never really know. The most basic and important pieces of knowledge that everyone wants: Who we are. Where we came from. Our purpose. What happens when we die.” He smiled to himself. “It’s kind of funny really, that with everything we know today—our past, present, and future are all still a mystery. We may think we know, but we don’t. And chances are, in our lifetime, no person will ever really know.” He shrugged. “But maybe we’ll find out after it’s over.” The girl was watching him intently. Bruce suddenly felt a slight uneasiness under her gaze. “Well, that’s what Doug thought anyway. Sorry, I was rambling. I don’t know why I told you all of that.”
Despite herself, she let out a small laugh and smiled. “No, don’t be. I think it actually helped. They’re comforting thoughts. Maybe Cameron and your brother did find that happiness.”
Bruce smiled. “Yeah. I’d like to think so too.”
The girl stared into Bruce. “So...do you think we get to see our loved ones again when we die?”
“Maybe that—and everything else.” Bruce extended a hand. “C’mon, you’re soaked. You shouldn’t be sitting down in this muddy field.” The girl took Bruce’s hand appreciatively. “What’s your name?”
“Lorna.” She looked up at Bruce and dried her tears. “Thank you.” She stood up on her feet and managed another smile.
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