Caroline rubbed her face, shaking off the fogginess of sleep as her eyes slowly adjusted to the dim light in her room. It had been a decade since she’d seen her mother, and yet the angry way her mother had kicked her out of the house still came back to haunt her dreams now and then. In the beginning, right after Caroline left home, she had dreamed about her mother almost every night. Caroline had spent her childhood working hard and doing her best to make her parents proud. She had studied hard in school, and graduated valedictorian of her class at the expensive, private school her parents had sent her to. She had used her spare time to volunteer for multiple nonprofit organizations, and she had coordinated multiple food and clothing drives for homeless and poor people in her hometown. Caroline had been a model citizen. On paper, she was perfect. She had been accepted to every university she applied to, including the big names like Harvard, Yale, and Stanford. Caroline’s family had come from old money, and they were very proper and traditional. Caroline had been raised to follow all of the social graces expected of the upper class, and she never failed to make her parents look good.
She was the perfect child, until she wasn’t.
Caroline’s rapid fall from grace had been triggered by one thing: an innocent love of painting. Caroline had been enrolled in painting classes from the time she was old enough to hold a paintbrush. Her parents hadn’t thought much of it—the classes were just one more thing in a long list of activities that they thought a well-off young woman should be proficient in. Sandwiched between ballet and violin lessons, the painting classes amounted to one more box to check on Caroline’s well-rounded education.
But Caroline had fallen in love with painting. As she got older, and school became more demanding, ballet, violin, and sports had become less important. But Caroline had never given up on her painting lessons. By the time she graduated high school, she felt that she had real talent, and she wanted to take a chance on being an artist. She didn’t think it was necessary to go to college to do what she wanted to do, but she offered to major in art just to at least get a degree and satisfy her parents. But this had not been enough for them. The tension in the house had grown, until Caroline’s mother had called her a disgrace and kicked her out the day after her high school graduation.
At first, Caroline had thought her mother was bluffing. Surely, after a few weeks, her mother would come around. Her parents loved her, after all. She was an only child and had been their life for the last eighteen years. But, as the weeks and then months wore on, Caroline realized that her mother had been serious. Any attempt to contact her parents was met with silence. So, Caroline decided to launch off on her own. She moved to San Diego, rented the tiniest apartment she could find, and began painting like crazy. The early years had been very hard. She often ate nothing but ramen noodles for weeks on end. But, eventually her hard work had paid off. She began to get noticed, and, soon, she was selling paintings faster than she could make them.
Her obsession with storms had begun the night she left her parents’ home. As she had left, confused and heartbroken, a huge storm had broken out. The thunder had been louder than she had ever heard it before. Some might have taken the storm as a sign of turmoil, but for Caroline it had been comforting. She had felt as though the universe was somehow telling her not to worry. That despite the chaos of the personal storm she was going through at that moment, nature and the cosmos were bigger than anything she might be dealing with. Nature always recovered after a storm, and so would she.
Anyone who knew Caroline at that time would have laughed at the idea that she had taken a thunderstorm to have such significant spiritual meaning. She had always laughed off the idea of deeper meanings. But that night had changed her. She suddenly believed in something beyond herself, and every time she heard thunder she was reminded that she was not alone.
Caroline was startled back to the present as another clap of thunder echoed through her room. She suddenly realized that she was missing the storm, and she jumped out of bed. She threw a rain jacket on over her cotton pajama shirt, and didn’t even bother changing out her pajama pants. She slipped on some flip-flops, then grabbed her keys and ran to her car. This storm was huge, and Caroline’s eyes shone with excitement. It had been a long time since they’d had one this big. She could hardly wait to see what patterns the waves would be making.
* * *
A few miles away, Lance was listening to the same loud claps of thunder. He had been tossing and turning in his bed for several hours, trying unsuccessfully to stop the loop of worries running through his mind about Caroline, Alaska, and the future of bear shifters in general.
Lance lay on his back and closed his eyes as the storm intensified, enjoying the angry, insistent sound of the thunderclaps. Thunder had a special place in his heart. His father had told him often when he was a little cub that he was like a little thunderclap, always making a stir right in the middle of a stormy situation. Sometimes his father had said this with pride, and sometimes with exasperation. Lance had often been picked up from school by his father after being involved in a skirmish of some sort. Lance would tell his father his side of the story, and sometimes his father would agree that Lance had been in the right. Other times, he would tell Lance that he would have been better off handling the conflict in a way that didn’t involve raised fists.
“Always remember, my little thunderclap, just because you have great power, doesn’t mean you should jump to use it. Your real strength comes from knowing when to hold back and when to push forward.”
As a boy, Lance hadn’t understood what his father meant by that. But as he grew, he began to understand better. By the time he took over as the clan’s alpha, Lance had gained a reputation as someone who led fairly, but wasn’t afraid to use force when necessary.
Lance smiled sadly as he remembered sitting beside his father’s deathbed to say goodbye. His father had reached over to squeeze his hand before closing his eyes for the last time.
“Go get ‘em, thunderclap. I love you, and I’m so proud of you.”
His father’s last words had been etched into his heart, giving him strength to go on even when the unimaginable had happened and Lance had last his whole clan. He knew his father would have told him that even if he didn’t have a clan, he was still an alpha. The world still needed his leadership and spirit; it would just be in a different way than he might have originally thought.
Lance sighed and sat up in his bed. He felt like he had made a difference in the world through his work on the Coast Guard rescue crew, but he still felt restless. Like something was missing. And he knew what that restlessness was. His bear wanted a mate, and cubs to whom he could pass on the alpha gene and legacy. But Lance had no idea how he was supposed to find a lifemate when he lived such a solitary life. He was always busy with work, and he was afraid to get too close to anyone for fear that his inner bear would be revealed and he would be persecuted for being a shapeshifter. Trying to get close to someone just didn’t seem worth the risk.
Which was why sending that card to Caroline had been such a monumental step for him. He had put his heart out there, asking her for a chance. It had been a long time since he had done that, and, now, he was beginning to think that he shouldn’t have bothered. It had been over a week since he sent the letter to Caroline. The address had been in San Diego, so the letter should have only taken a day to arrive. Either he’d had the wrong address, and she would never see it, or she had chosen to ignore him. That was that. Either way, he had hit a dead end in his efforts to find Caroline.
Maybe it was for the better. The transfer request paperwork had been submitted for the panda shifters to make the move to Kodiak, Alaska. Ace’s contact in the upper ranks of the Coast Guard wouldn’t make any definite promises, but he said he was fairly sure he could pull some strings and make sure that Ace’s crew was awarded the transfer. Certainly, this was an awful time to start a new relationship.
But despite the awful timing, and the fact that Caroline had given no
indication that she was interested in Lance, he couldn’t get her off his mind. What’s worse, his bear was constantly pining for her, making him moody and restless. Lance should have been enjoying his night off from work, relaxing and catching up on sleep. Instead, he was tossing and turning and counting down the hours until morning arrived.
A flash of lightning illuminated Lance’s bedroom, followed moments later by another loud clap of thunder. Lance sighed, and decided to get out of bed. He was tired of sitting here and moping. He would go for a run and enjoy the fury of the storm. He loved these out-of-control storms, and he hardly ever had the chance to leisurely enjoy them. Usually, he was taking them in from the open door of a helicopter as his crew attempted to save people stranded out at sea.
Lance laced up his running shoes and headed out the door. He didn’t bother to take his car. He wanted to run on the beach, but it was only two miles to the beach. He would run that distance, then run on the beach until he was tired enough to turn around. The wind blew fiercely as Lance made his way through several residential streets, heading for the ocean. He did his best to run in a straight line, but the strong gales made it difficult. Within a minute of leaving his condo, the rain had drenched Lance from head to toe. His t-shirt and gym shorts clung to his body, and his tennis shoes squished with each pounding step.
Lance didn’t mind. The restless rain soothed his soul. It gave him comfort to know that something besides his own heart was chaotic and out of control. When he got to the wet, sandy beach, he bent down to take off his shoes and socks. They were only getting in the way, and sand was going to make trying to run in them even worse. Newly barefoot, Lance continued his run, sprinting parallel to the frenzied ocean. Waves rose and fell violently, illuminated every few minutes by bright streaks of lightning. Thunderclaps continued to echo across the water, and Lance couldn’t help but smile every time he heard them.
The storm had caused the June temperatures to drop, and Lance had goose bumps on his arm. He didn’t notice the cold, though. He was too busy watching the whitecaps rising and falling next to him, and listening to the whistling wind and booming thunder. Lance breathed in deeply, letting the damp, salty air fill his lungs. If the crew did move to Alaska, Lance was going to miss this place. He knew he would find new outdoor spots to love around Kodiak, but these San Diego beaches would always have a special place in his heart.
Another flash of lightning lit up the scenery in front of Lance, and he did a double take. He couldn’t be sure, but it looked like there was a person several hundred yards ahead of him on the beach, standing about knee deep in the churning ocean.
“What the heck?” Lance huffed out, speeding up his pace and straining to see through the darkness. He couldn’t see that far ahead without the help of the lightning, though. He silently willed the sky to light itself up again, but it felt like an eternity passed before it did. By that time, Lance had gotten close enough to the figure to see that it definitely wasn’t a figment of his imagination. There was indeed a person standing in the water, and that person appeared to be a woman. He had seen her hair whipping wildly in the wind as the lightning reflected off of it.
Why in the world was she out here in this storm, standing in the ocean? She must be high or drunk, which meant she was likely to slip and drown in the ocean. Lance’s protective instincts suddenly went into high alert, and he sprinted the last short distance to where the woman stood.
“Ma’am!” he yelled out. “Ma’am! Are you all right?”
The woman spun around, her eyes wide, and that’s when Lance’s heart froze in his chest.
It was Caroline.
She didn’t appear to be drunk or high, although her face did darken a bit with anger when she saw Lance.
“Lance? What are you doing here?” she yelled out, her voice barely audible over the roaring of the wind and waves.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he yelled back, wading out into the water next to her. “Why are you standing in the ocean in the middle of a storm? This is incredibly dangerous. One strong gust of wind could stir up a wave that knocks you over and drags you out to sea.”
Even in the darkness, he could see her roll her eyes at him. “I’m working,” she yelled. “I do this all the time. It’s where I get the inspiration for my paintings.”
“If you do this all the time, then you’re really lucky that you haven’t drowned. I’m nervous just watching you,” Lance yelled, a frown etched into his face. It was true. His heart had started pounding in his chest from the adrenaline flooding through his body. All of his senses were on high alert as he watched Caroline swaying precariously back and forth from the force of the wind and water. She was so beautiful that it made his chest tighten up just to look at her. Even drenched, there was no escaping how exquisite she was. Her sexy curves, smooth skin, and long hair made up the perfect package.
Caroline crossed her arms and frowned back at him. “Well, then, be nervous if you want to,” she yelled. “But I don’t need anyone worrying about me or looking out for me. I can take care of myself. Why are you stalking me, anyway? I would have thought that the fact that I didn’t answer your letter was enough of a hint that I’m not interested in you.”
Lance’s heart sank. So she had received the letter, and just chosen not to answer. And now he was standing here looking suspiciously like he was following her around, even though his running into her out here had been a total accident. “I’m not stalking you. I couldn’t sleep and went for a run. I only live a few miles from here, so it’s not that strange that I’m out for a run on this beach. It’s just a coincidence that I ran into you. You should know all about coincidences, since it was just a coincidence that you painted a man who looks exactly like me.”
Lance couldn’t keep the bitterness and sarcasm out of his voice, and he regretted the words as soon as he spoke them. He saw a shadow pass over Caroline’s eyes, and her frown deepened.
“Fine. It’s a coincidence that you’re here. You know what’s not a coincidence? The fact that I put your card in the shredder as soon as I saw what it said. I’m not interested in a relationship, Lance. Especially not with someone who doesn’t believe me when I say my paintings weren’t modeled after him.”
Lance sighed, and rubbed his eyes, which were starting to sting from all the saltwater being sprayed at them. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. But I promise I’m not stalking you. I sent that card because I really like you, and I was hoping for a chance to show you that. I spent a lot of time searching for you, and, even though you say you’re not interested, I can’t help but notice that destiny seems to keep bringing us together.”
Lance saw a strange look pass over her face, and for a moment he thought that she might be softening her stance toward him. But, then her face returned to its hard glare, and she shook her head at him. “Destiny is going to have to work a lot harder if it wants to convince me.”
Lance couldn’t come up with a good reply, so he just stared at her for several long moments, taking in her beautiful face, and the impossibly dramatic way that her hair whipped around in the wind. She held his gaze, somewhat defiantly. She refused to be the first one to look away, and Lance almost laughed in amusement. She was a spunky one.
“Do you normally go running in storms like this?” Caroline demanded to know.
Lance sighed. “No. But only because I’m usually up in a helicopter working during a storm like this. I love the sound of thunder more than anything.”
Lance saw the same strange look pass over Caroline’s face that he had seen minutes before. She furrowed her brow, and then turned on her heel. “I have to go,” she yelled over her shoulder at him. “I can’t work with you out here standing over my shoulder, anyway.”
Lance watched as she trudged out of the water and up the beach. He wanted to run after her and spin her around, then cover her mouth with a passionate kiss. His bear snarled and growled within him, angry that Lance was just standing there and letting Caroline get away. B
ut it was for the best. She clearly wanted nothing to do with him, and he already had one foot in Alaska. Once she disappeared from view, he turned and started running back in the direction he had come from.
But no matter how fast he ran, he couldn’t outrun the image of Caroline’s face that insisted on filling his mind.
Chapter Six
Caroline was doing some running of her own. She sprinted all the way to her car, cursing under her breath the whole way. She didn’t turn around to look until she was safely locked into the driver’s seat, with the car’s engine running and the heater blasting warm air on her shivering frame. She turned on the headlights, and peered as far as she could into the dark night, but she couldn’t see anyone else. As far as she could tell, she was alone. He hadn’t followed her, and she felt slightly foolish for thinking that he would. She had all but told him to take his feelings and shove them up his ass.
But what else was she supposed to do? She had already decided she couldn’t have a relationship with him. There was no sense in sugarcoating anything and leaving him room to think that there might be any possibility of there ever being something between them. She had been completely fine with her decision until the very end of their conversation.
He loved the thunder. She could tell from the wistful way he spoke about thunderclaps that there was a deep, meaningful reason for his appreciation of its sound. And not only did he love it, he loved it “more than anything.” Caroline had seen the passion in his eyes when he said that. For some reason, he had a respect and adoration for thunder that was as deep as her own. She had been caught off guard by that realization. Caroline had met plenty of people who claimed to love thunderstorms, but no one had ever shown the same zeal as she did for the mere sound of thunder. Until now.
Caroline found Lance’s strange, seemingly offhanded comment about thunder to be deeply unsettling. And this was on top of the already unsettling comment he had made about destiny continuously bringing them together. Hadn’t she said to herself when she shredded his card that it was up to destiny to bring them together, if destiny wanted to?
An Alpha's Thunder (Water Bear Shifters 3) Page 4