We hit the clothes shops first because Nicole is complaining that she doesn’t have enough clothes that still fit. We look around for ages before Nicole finds something she likes. I think everything she tries on looks good, but to her it either makes her stomach look too bulky, or it sits funny. Seriously……..
“I don’t want to buy maternity clothes sav, but with the way these babies are growing I’m going to have to.” Nicole pouts picking up a maternity top.
“I think maternity clothes are cute,” I pick up the same top but in pink. “I like this top. It’s so sexy yet mature.”
“Listen to you. At least we won’t have any problems with you and clothes when you’re knocked up.” She put the top she had back and took the pink one from my hand.
“I doubt I will every have kids.” I say moving to the next rack, flicking through the clothes.
“Have you and Damon talked about kids?” Nicole asked, looking at me over the rack.
“No. we haven’t talked about anything like that. We talk heaps but never about those things.” I shrug.
“You’ve been dating,” I shook Nicole a look, and she shakes her head. “Or whatever you label it as then, for what near three months? And you still haven’t had that talk.”
“I don’t want to jinx anything, or for Damon to think that I want those things now. Because I don’t.” I defend.
“Still you need to have that talk. You have to know what each other want, no point in working it out when it’s too late.” With that comment, I know Nicole is talking about her and Stan.
They talked about all things, even babies and marriage, even though Nicole didn’t want to move fast. She still knew what he wanted, and he knew what she wanted. It would scare the shit out of me being a single mother with one child let alone three. But Nicole has more support than anyone.
“Maybe.” I say walking away.
I seriously needed some new clothes myself. Damon liked my sundresses, and they were comfortable. I picked out a few in my size and walked towards the rack with evening dresses on it. A purple floor length gown jumped out at me. It had a beaded Bodice, with a flowing silk skirt. It was gorgeous.
“I wish I had somewhere to wear something like this.” I turned to Nicole.
“That is stunning Sav. Go try it on.” She grabbed it off the rack and handed it to me.
“No way. I have nowhere to where it. I’m not paying a fortune for a dress I won’t wear.” I laughed. Is she crazy?
I traced the beads with my fingers when the glittered in the light. I held the dress up to my body in front of the closest mirror. The purple was deep in colour but actually matched my skin. I ran my hand down the silk shirt part, and it felt cold and soft against my palm. I moved my head from side to side debating whether or not to buy it, even though I would never wear it. I decided to check the price tag and let it determine it's fate. Turns out that I was not willing to pay $1230.90 for a dress no matter how stunning it was.
“Just buy it Savannah.” Nicole said, clearly getting annoyed.
“I can live without it.” I said putting it back on the rack.
We walked around for a while longer, I ended up grabbing a few extra bra and panties sets which I knew Damon would love.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
By the time we got home, we had to get cooking. The boys wanted a few different kinds of roast meat, so we ended up with lamb, pork and beef. Since Stephen has been home we had been having roast night once a week, were everyone came over for dinner. It was always full of laughs and just down right fun.
I got the roast ready and in the oven while Nicole started the vegetables. She had this wicked way of seasoning those suckers, and I never do it right. So for now that was her job.
“Do you think I should set the table now or leave it till later?” I asked.
“Ummm, do it now. Saves the hassle later I guess.”
I put the new table cloth on that I picked up from shopping. It was black with Chinese patterns on it. I had a comforter set that was similar which I loved so I couldn’t pass up the table cloth. I set places for everybody, being; Derek, angel, Stephen, Damon, Nicole and myself. I wasn’t too happy that Angel would be joining us, but I had to suck it up for Derek. Once the table was set I headed down the barn to see the boys.
As I approached, I would see Derek and Stephen. They both sat on deck chairs just inside the barn doors. I got closer and heard a familiar voice but couldn’t place it….. Then suddenly goose bumps covered my skin. I rounded the corner and stopped in my tracks.
“Cameron,”. I blurted. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Shit Savannah I didn’t hear you come home.” Stephen got to his feet, along with Derek. Both clearly afraid of the current situation.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” I turned, and slowed each word as I said them.
“Savannah, don’t freak out. It’s not what you think.” Stephen came closer, hands up in defeat.
I looked from Cameron to Stephen. Derek came up and put his hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t touch me Derek. Get him out of here.” I yelled at them both while staring daggers at Cameron.
“What can’t say hello to an old friend?” Cameron suddenly got up of his chair and walked towards me. He had that dirty smirk on his face he had all those years ago. A shiver ran over me.
“Cameron not now.” Derek said putting his hand on Cameron’s chest. He looked at Derek then back to me. Stephen tried to grab my hand again, but I moved it out of his reach. This was un-fucking-believable. Whom could this be happening?
“Nice to see you’re still as pleasant as ever sweet cheeks,” Now I knew he was mocking me. “I’m out boys, see you later.”
Cameron’s shoulder touched mine as he passed. He did it on purpose I knew it. He still got under my skin and not in a good way either. He made my skin crawl actually, once it was a good crawl now it’s not, not while he just stands there looking at me like he has been around for the past four years.
“Are you two fucking crazy?” I shouted. “He is not welcome here, do you understand me, and I never want to see him here again. And if I find out you have been into anything with him I will lose my shit.”
I was livid with these two. They both stood in front of me looking between each other then back at me. I knew those looks all too well….. This was not happening.
“Don’t you dare tell me what I am thinking? You better not be back with that shit Stephen, you are on a good path right now,” I continued to yell. I didn’t even know my own voice. “Get your fucking shit together mate, because this isn’t happening again.”
I walked back towards the house. Nicole was standing on the porch watching me walk towards her.
“Please tell me that wasn’t Cameron.” Nicole nearly stuttered.
“Wish I could.” I walked past her and went straight up to my room. This was not happening.
I lay down and closed my eyes wishing to wake up, and everything is a dream. I don’t know what hurt the most at this point, the fact that Stephen and Derek were talking to him or that he was actually here. I blamed Cameron, I seriously thought was the reason Stephen ended up in prison in the first place, and I hated him from the instant I got that vibe. I spent years getting him out of my mind and life for that matter. It wasn’t easy trust me, and he walks back into my life when years later with the same charm.
Cameron is tall, about six foot four, brown crew cut hair, and piercing blue eyes. The kind that can see straight through you. He is medium build, and used to work out heaps. He has an exceptionally taut body under those clothes. Not that, I want to remember it now, but truth be told, he is devilishly hot naked.
If one person can test me, push me and try my feelings it's Cameron. There is not a memory from my teenage years that don’t involve him, Derek and Stephen. I loved him, in a dysfunctional kind of way. We loved to hate each other and hated to love each other. He broke my heart, and until Damon walked into my I never thought I would feel those fe
elings again. There were days where I seriously missed Cameron, and thought about him and our past. But for him to walk back into my life right now, it's only tragic.
I shake those thoughts from my head instantly. Yuck. I can’t think about that right now. I turn onto my stomach and put my face into my pillow. I’m so frustrated right now; I just want to scream, so naturally I do. As loud as I can into my pillow. I used to do it when I was a kid, when I was frustrated. I had frustration issues, and the only way to release that tension was to scream; hence the pillow screaming. Mind you I haven’t done it since… well ironically since the last time I saw Cameron.
“Sav…..can I come in?” Derek voice came through the door.
“Go away.” I begged.
“I’m coming in, I hope you’re dressed.” Then I heard the door open and closed gently.
The bed dipped as he sat down. He said nothing for long minutes, but I could hear his breathing and almost hear his mind ticking over. I rolled over and sat up bringing my knees to my chest.
“Explain.” I demanded.
“He heard Stephen got out and wanted to come see him. They were good friends before everything you know that,” Derek was trying to make me see the good, but it wasn’t happening. “It’s not what you think; we honestly were going to get rid of him before you came home. We didn’t want you to find out that he was here, not because we are hiding something but because we knew you would freak. Which you did. You have to trust us Savannah. I know your worried but don’t be. Stephen loves you, and he will do anything to make see him…… the good him.”
“I don’t trust Cameron, Derek. You know this. After what he did.” I pointed out.
“That was speculation on your part. I know you hate him because of what he did to you. But Cameron has been good support for Stephen in ways you wouldn’t understand.” Derek looked away when he said that. Dread washed over me.
“What do you mean?”
“Cameron used to visit Stephen in jail. You know Cameron is clean now right?”
“Like that makes a difference Derek. I don’t care, not here. Not my house. You got me?” I said getting a little louder.
“Savannah, I’m so sorry about today.” Derek got off the bed and walked to the door. He grabbed the handle, and I watched as he turned it. He stood there for a moment, obviously thinking about something. He shook his head and opened the door.
On the other Damon stood looking from Derek to me.
“Hey Damon.” Derek said walking past him and down stairs.
I relaxed a little as Damon came in. He closed the door than sat on the bed next to me. He had a frown on his face, like he was thinking about something bad. I reached out and pulled him down next to me, we both lay side by side staring at each other. I needed to feel safe, and the place I felt most safe was in his arms.
“It’s been a rough afternoon.” I finally say.
“I can tell. Stephen is down there obviously upset; I heard you yelling at Derek and Nicole warned me you were pissed off.” Damon said stroking my cheek with his fingers.
“What did you hear?” I asked, swallowing hard.
“Enough. Do you want to talk about it?” Damon asked, searching my face.
“Not now. Tonight is supposed to be a good night, not one full of drama.” I leaned in and kissed his soft lips. When my tongue brushed his lip, he opened to grant me access to his. Our tongues stroked together while our hands found comfort in each other’s body.
I rolled Damon over, so he was on his back and straddles his hips. His hands grabbed my arse while my hands worked to get his shirt unbuttoned. I broke off the kiss to pull his shirt out from his pants and push it open. I started trailing light kisses on his exposed chest. He smelt so good, like his spicy shower gel he used this morning before he went to work.
“I’ve missed you.” Damon said swallowing hard.
“I’ve missed you too.” I lift my head to look into his eyes.
I can feel his erection against my sex. Instinct is to rub myself against him, and I do. This drives us both crazy, we found that out a few weeks ago, I almost come just from the friction we created. But right now that wasn’t enough, I wanted him, I needed him. More than anything I need him to take away those hurtful memories that kept creeping into my mind.
But just as I trail my fingers down his stomach someone knocks on the door. I lay my head on Damon’s chest and take a deep breath. This can’t be happening.
“Savannah. Sorry to interrupt whatever you’re doing, but I need your help.” Nicole speaks through the door.
I look at up at Damon, and he smiles. In the past six weeks, we have been interrupted more times than you can count on a hand. This house has become a mad house. Hence why I have snuck to Damon’s a few times. Not to mention I got sick of the comments at the dining room table about my “loud bed antics.”
“I will be down in a minute.” I yell back.
“Thank you.” Nicole calls.
I leaned down and kiss Damon one last time passionately. I know we will both be frustrated by the end of it, but I don’t care. I need it right now.
“Later.” I whisper before rolling off him.
“Can’t wait.” Damon smiles up at me while doing up his shirt.
I get up and straighten myself in the mirror. My hair is getting too long, and I want to get it cut one of these days. It could do with a new colour too, I haven’t been pampered in a while, it’s on my must do list. I put my hair up in a ponytail than twist it into a bun, pinning it in place.
I look at Damon in the mirror; he is sitting on the bed behind me with that thinking look again. It’s like he is thinking about something that doesn’t sit right with him, I always worry that it’s me, and after what he heard, or didn’t hear today I start to panic. I’m not ready to talk about my past yet, just like he isn’t ready to talk about what happened between him and Carter.
I turned to face him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah I’m good. Just thinking.” He reaches out and takes my hand pulling me towards him.
He buries his face in my shirt. When he sits on the bed, and I stand in front of him, his head rest on my stomach. He slowly lifts my shirt to expose my skin and kisses it softly. I run my fingers through his hair while he scatters kisses over my skin. While it feels good, and I don’t want it to stop, I hear Nicole yelling out to me from down stairs. Damon stops kissing me and just rests his lips on my stomach. I leaned down, and kiss the top of his head before pulling away.
“I have to go help Nic, you coming down?” I asked, walking towards the door.
“Yeah. Give me a minute. I have to make a call and get changed.” He says getting up and walking over to the bag of clothes he brought over a few weeks back.
I nod and head down stairs.
Derek and Stephen are sitting on the kitchen bench talking and laughing with Nicole. Stephen kicks me up the arse with his foot when I walk in, and I turn around.
“What was that for?” I snarl. Rubbing my now sore arse cheek.
“Had to get your attention, and it worked. I’m sorry about earlier, I should have….”
I hold up my hand to stop him from talking. I don’t want to talk about this now. I have to trust him, as much as I don’t want to with Cameron around…. I just have too.
“Don’t. I don’t want to fight about this. I don’t trust him Stephen, and I don’t want him here.”
“Sav, please. I want you to trust me. Trust me that I won’t do anything stupid again. He is my friend and he are helping me out with things,” Stephen continues. “This is my house too, I will let you know next time he comes round to give you fair warning.”
“I don’t believe you Stephen. Are you kidding me here?” I start to get cranky again, so my voice is rising louder. “Yes this is your house too, but no….. he is not welcome here after what he did.”
“Shut up Savannah. I’m sick of your fucking orders. I love you, but this isn’t going to happen. You Savannah, are not my mother, so
you don’t get to tell me what I can, and cannot do.” Stephen actually yells at me. Derek grabs Stephens shoulder in warning.
I am speechless. My brother may be able to forget, but I can’t. Cameron walked out and left me the moment my brother went to jail. He was guilty and didn’t have to guts to confront me.
“What happened between you and Cameron is between you and him; don’t bring your feeling for him into it.” At that point, Damon walked into the kitchen and stood next to me.
“Lower you voice Stephen, no need to yell. You two should go talk about his somewhere else away from the company.” Damon calmly said.
“It’s okay. I’m done. Savannah knows how I feel now. I would like to enjoy the evening.” Stephen jumps of the bench and heads to the lounge room. Derek follows suit but stops in front of me to kiss my cheek.
I turn towards Damon. I feel so exposed emotionally right now. This part of my life I wanted to keep in the past. But for some reason it is coming back to bite me in the arse, and I hate it.
“Thank you. Sorry about that. He’s upset with me.” I wipe my eye as a stray tear falls.
“Hey. It’s okay. I’m here for you no matter what Savannah,” Damon tips my chin, so I’m looking at him. “When will you let me in and see that?”
“Soon.” I say as he leans down and kisses me softly but quickly.
“I’m going to join the guys, do you want any help with anything first?” Damon asks.
I look to Nicole who shakes her head no with a smile. I turn back to Damon and shake my head in response. He kisses my cheek and walks into the lounge room.
I walk over to Nicole and shake my head. This is such a mess. A good day turned into a shit afternoon. Let's hope that the evening gets better. I don’t think I can take anymore “drama” today.
“He adores you. And he loves you.” Nicole says nodding towards the boys who are now laughing.
“Who? Stephen? He’s an arse hole.” I say.
“No silly. Damon.” Nicole smiles a massive grin.
“Adores maybe, love….. I don’t know.” He hasn’t said it to me, and I haven’t said it to him. Sometimes maybe I feel he might, but I’m not a particularly good judge in character these days.
Judged By You (Judge Me Series) Page 24