“I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t," I snot-laughed. Trying to cover my sobs with a chuckle.
“Don’t get dead, Pip Squeak," Ian ruffled my hair as he exited the helicopter.
“See you soon," Molly hugged me tight, not giving a rat’s butt that she might touch my runes, and for that, and so many other reasons, I loved her.
“See you soon," I knew it was a promise I wouldn’t be able to keep.
Just like that, they were gone and we were lifting off, heading back towards the Order and my inevitable doom.
Chapter Twenty One
An irritating silence prevailed the remainder of the way back to the swamp. An entire two hours filled with nothing but my own misery to keep me company. When the stupid helicopter finally landed and I made my escape, I was ready to scream.
Everything was falling apart and there was no way for me to hold it all together. I was powerless. A chain reaction had begun; as if the fates had set up an intricate path of dominoes to topple, and I was the last one in line. I could see them coming for me, but I could do nothing to prevent my fall. Just as the prophecy had predicted, I would fall. I stood, rooted to the ground just outside of the helicopter, filled with anger.
“I thought it was supposed to be about choice. I thought I had a choice. What happened to that?” I yelled at Aberto. He should know. He was the oldest of us, the wisest.
“Choice is an illusion, Izzy. There is not always going to be an easy choice, or a good one. Sometimes, no matter what you decide, it will not end well. You still have a choice here. You can choose to fight, or you can choose to lay down and let the darkness consume you and everything else in its path. Either way, this is your decision. I hope that you choose not to fall back on your weakness, but to press on. If you don’t, everyone you care for, everyone you love, will suffer. Don’t be weak," Aberto turned away from me, vanishing as he walked. Don’t be weak, the bastard. I’d show him weak when I zapped him with a lightning bolt.
“Izzy, what is this all about?” Eleanor came to my elbow, gently cradling it.
“I feel like there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop this darkness and this demon. All anyone has told me is to believe I can and the power is within me. To me it sounds like a load of affirmation bull crap."
“I might have found something that will help you," Eleanor raised a brow in my direction. “It is, in a word, unconventional. But, if we are lucky, it may just provide you with enough strength to finish this."
“I trust you. If you think it is a good idea, I will give it a go. I don’t think things could get much worse as it is." I looked at her, wondering just what I was getting myself into this time. I should really learn to ask more questions.
“Well, I will discuss it with your aunt and see what she thinks when we get there." Eleanor kept her hand on my elbow, guiding me towards the house.
“Wait, you knew she was my aunt? How is it that everyone seems to know everything about me, but no one is willing to tell me anything at all? There needs to be a secret intervention. No more! I swear, how am I supposed to do anything if I don’t have all of the necessary information?”
“The Order is not something we are permitted to discuss. I only knew because of your mother. You had chosen the Council, which meant the Order was no longer an option for you," Eleanor said matter-of-factly, as if I were some sort of unruly student.
“I didn’t know I had any other option!” I shouted. Exhaustion pulled at me compounding with the elephants practicing their tap routine on my brain. My head would split at any moment, I just knew it.
“That is not my fault. You just didn’t ask. If you had, I would’ve told you," Eleanor looked completely unaffected by my outburst. She reminded me too much of Isadora sometimes.
“Come on, Izzy. We still need to make it back to the house before dark. The last thing we need is for you to be eaten by an alligator. Speaking of food, we need some. I’m starving," Kennan rubbed his belly in mock affront.
“I haven’t kept you from food," I mumbled under my breath as we made our way over the boardwalk toward the house.
“Your lack of an appetite interferes with my grazing schedule. So, it sort of is your fault. You confuse me by not eating. It isn’t normal.” Kennan raised a brow, challenging me.
“Neither are the gluttonous amounts of food you consume, but you don’t see me complaining.” I needed sleep, I was getting seriously crabby.
“Keep it up and I will toss you to the gators, woman.” Kennan swatted my butt, causing me to jump.
“Hey, invalid here. Remember?” I yawned loudly, the adrenaline of the day wearing off as we approached the house. “I think I’m too tired to eat. Can I just sleep instead?”
“No, you need energy.” Kennan wouldn’t budge on the whole food issue.
“Fine," I grumbled as we approached the house. A chorus of cicadas and tree frogs resounded loudly around me, announcing the coming night. I wondered, as we entered the house, if this would be my last night; if these were the last sounds of the South I would hear before the darkness fell, taking me with it.
“That’s enough.” Aberto appeared at my elbow, pulling me to a stop. “You will not be able to stop this if you keep succumbing to such morose thoughts. You are not who you were when the prophecy came into existence. I’ve changed you, therefore there is a chance that the prophecy has also changed. Do not give up this fight so readily.”
“Do you think that I want to feel this way, Aberto? This isn’t a vacation for me, but you’ve said it yourself, my choices are all bad. I either lay down now and let it consume me or I fall trying to defeat it. The word fall doesn’t exactly give me any hope of survival. I don’t have any plans of coming out of this thing intact. Just let me mourn the loss of things, let me deal with this how I must. I’m not as strong as you seem to think I should be. I’m not you, Aberto.” Tears streamed down my cheeks as my fear came rushing to the surface. I was barely strong enough to stand on my own two feet, let alone defeat the demon.
Aberto grabbed my shoulders and shook them, making me look him in the eyes. “You are strong enough, do you understand?”
“Just because you wish it to be does not make it so.” I turned, and walked into the house where a concerned Kennan was waiting.
“What was that about?” Kennan looked between a furious Aberto and me.
“Nothing important.” I walked passed Kennan toward where my aunt and Eleanor were talking.
“So, what’s the verdict?” I asked the women.
“The verdict is, you need to eat, and we will discuss her ideas after you have had some sleep. You must rest, Izzy. Do not let yourself get worn down," my aunt admonished.
“But all of this inaction is not doing a durn thing to help me feel like I have any control over what is coming. Everyone keeps telling me to be strong, but just waiting around for this demon to come chomp at me is not my idea of a good time. I’m not hungry, I just want to sleep.” The electricity began to flicker down my arms, causing tears to well in my eyes. “And why does this keep happening? I can’t even control it. Gah!” I shouted as I made my way towards the room Kennan and I had occupied the night before. I just hoped it was still ours.
Aberto started to move towards me, but Kennan pulled him to a stop. “Give her some time. She needs to be alone right now, otherwise she won’t come back to herself. Sometimes we have to let her go.” Kennan’s last words before I disappeared into the room peaked my interest. “So, perhaps you and I can discuss that secret that you would not divulge in the helicopter.”
“Now would suffice," Aberto replied.
I stormed into the room, wallowing in my own misery. The secrets that had brought me to this point swirled around in my mind, pulling me in a thousand directions. I threw myself on the bed, my head spinning, and I couldn’t take it any longer. I ripped my soul from my body and ventured out to find Kennan and Aberto. I wanted to know what they were saying. I wanted the truth, for once. Directives be damned, I was so tire
d of being in the dark.
I turned a corner, searching for them, and came to an abrupt halt when I finally spotted them. They were on the back porch, sitting on the stairs, staring off into the swamp.
“Are you certain?” Kennan’s strained voice asked.
“I’ve known my entire life. I saw it the day I was brought into existence, and I’ve seen it every day since.” Aberto looked off, trying to mask the sadness in his eyes. I knew that if I so much as breathed, I would be caught. I held as still as I could, waiting for what they may say next.
“Swear to me that you will protect her, that you will not leave her side.” Kennan looked to Aberto, grabbing his shoulder as he pleaded. “Swear it to me," he choked out.
“You need not even ask it, but I shall swear it all the same.” Aberto grabbed Kennan’s elbow and looked him in the eyes. “I swear I will guard and protect her all of my days, no matter how many they may be. She will never be alone from this day onward.”
“See that she is not. If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a while.” Kennan looked back out into the swamp as a tear threatened to fall down his face. I didn’t understand. What had they said before I’d gotten there? What was happening?
I rushed back to where my body lay on the bed, mending my halves together. I longed to go to Kennan, but I knew that I would be found out if I did. The implications of their conversation made my stomach roil. Was Kennan leaving me? Did he have to go in order to protect me? I never should’ve gone. I never should’ve listened to a conversation that wasn’t meant for my ears. Fear welled up inside of me at the possibility of living the rest of my life without him. I couldn’t fathom it.
Just as I’d made my mind up to go find him, the door opened and he entered as if nothing had happened. His eyes held the same playful brightness they always did. In his hands he had a plate of food he intended to force me to eat. I looked back at his face, searching for any sign of what I’d just witnessed.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kennan smiled crookedly.
“Nothing, it’s just,” I paused trying to understand, “nothing.” I shook it off. Maybe the runes were playing tricks on my mind. Cait had warned me that the darkness would do everything to pull me under. I wondered if that also meant deceiving me and making me believe horrible things.
“Are you sure? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. What’s going on, Izzy?” Kennan set the food on the dresser and lowered himself down to sit next to me on the bed.
“I think my mind is playing tricks on me. Maybe the exhaustion is just getting to me. I’m okay, really," I lied, wondering if I would ever be okay again.
“Promise?” Kennan asked.
“Promise, promise.” As the words left my mouth, I wondered if the lie was all that white. We’d never gotten anywhere good by keeping secrets from one another, but I had no idea how I was supposed to ask him about what I’d heard. How could I? After all, I shouldn’t have eavesdropped to begin with.
“Well, in that case, it is food time. No arguing.” Kennan reached over to grab the plate as an idea struck me.
“What did Aberto have to say?” I waited for a reaction, something that would make me believe I’d really seen what I had but there was not so much as a shift in his demeanor as he answered.
“He wanted to talk strategy. Nothing serious. Honestly, I don’t know why you couldn’t have been there for the discussion. Sometimes, Aberto’s reasoning makes no sense.” Kennan put the plate on my lap giving me a firm look. “No more stalling, eat. I’ve got to go check in with Conall, but when I get back that food better be gone.” He raised a brow before kissing me on the head.
“Aye, Aye!” I mock saluted.
I guess I’d imagined the whole thing. With everything we’d been through over the past year, I’d learned to read Kennan really well. Unfortunately, he showed no signs that anything was amiss at all. Instead, he seemed completely fine. That damned darkness was going to drive me mad before I even had a chance to stop it. I should do more research on what I was up against. Maybe then I would understand what I was facing. I knew the demon’s name, now I needed to know what he was capable of.
I stared at the food for a moment as if just looking at it would be enough to absorb the nutrients. Giving up, I began to shovel in the food, which happened to be some of the best gumbo I’d eaten in years. I hoovered it in, bite after bite, filling up my empty stomach until I was left with warm soup belly. I was ready to drift off to sleep and forget the day altogether. No more fights, no more drama, just the sweetness of sleep. It wasn’t until it was too late that I knew I was being pulled into the dreaming. I shouted for Aberto as I faded from the mortal plane into the dreaming.
Chapter Twenty Two
I assessed the fog, hoping to spot any dangers before they could reach me. All I could hear was the sound of my own breathing and the crackling of my skin as electricity ran up and down my arms and legs. The electricity seemed to be spreading, leaving behind a burning sensation as it went. If I didn’t learn to control it, I was sure it would consume me.
“Neat trick," Emmanuel said as he emerged from the fog. “Where’d you learn to do it? You aren’t supposed to have that power.” His scarred face curled up in distain.
“It was one of the many gifts ABERTO gave me.” I shouted his name, hoping he would get the hint and show up. I wasn’t ready for the last mark yet. I wasn’t in any shape to fight off this asshat, either.
“Don’t worry, he is already here. He won’t let his precious girl come to harm. But he won’t always be there to protect you. I will sneak in, I will find the chink in your armor. It is only a matter of time, and that I have in abundance.” Emmanuel faded back into the fog as I fell to my knees.
“It will consume you if you let it, Izzy. You must let your anger go.” Aberto towered over me as I struggled to get myself under control.
“Why is it burning? It didn’t do that before?” I looked up at him as my stomach churned.
“Because it is getting stronger. This is a power not meant for any mortal to bear. I should’ve known that something like this may happen.” Aberto swore in the old language he sometimes used. I still couldn’t place what it was.
“What does that mean, Aberto? Is this going to kill me?” I looked down as the blue electricity faded into my skin.
“I do not know.” He pulled me to my feet turning my arms over in his hands to check for any marks.
“He didn’t get to mark me again. He knew you were here.” I pulled my arms back down to my sides. “What will happen to me if this keeps getting stronger?”
“It will consume you.”
“So now I have to worry about causing my own death with my lightning bolt arms and the darkness. This day just keeps getting better. If someone could just go ahead and put me out of my misery now, that would be awesome.”
Aberto grabbed the back of my head forcefully, making me look in his eyes. “Do not be so fickle about your well-being. This is no joke. I will not listen as you taunt death, practically inviting it to your door step. It is time to grow up, Izzy. This is no game. This is not a joke. If you fail, then so do we all.”
I pulled away from him, tears running down my face. “Don’t you think I know that?” I shouted. “Every single day that I wake up with these marks is a reminder that my life is no longer my own. Every breath I take is a reminder that the darkness is coming and if I don’t stop it, everything I love will disappear. I know this isn’t a game. I never said it was.” I sat heavily on the ground, deflated, tears coursing down my cheeks. “I’m so very tired.”
“Izzy.” Aberto began, but paused before he could say anything else.
“No one can help me. I’m alone in this, and that scares me more than anything," I choked out.
“You aren’t alone, Izzy. Nor shall you ever be.” Aberto sat on the ground next to me and grabbed my hand in his. “You will survive this.”
“Do you know that, or are you just trying to reassure
yourself as much as me?” I looked down to our entwined hands and felt a pang of guilt. I knew how he felt about me, but he had not pushed his feelings. I knew that any small act of encouragement I gave him was unfair so I pulled my hand away.
“A little of both, perhaps," he said, resting his hands behind him.
“Can you do the lightning thing?” I asked, anxious to change the subject. Dwelling on my demise was not going to do anyone a bit of good. It would depress me and piss Aberto off.
“I can.” Aberto lifted his hand to show me a ball of blue fire burning. Only the fire was more an amorphous ball of frenetic energy. It wasn’t fire at all. I looked up at his face in surprise to find that his eyes were once more glowing.
“Do my eyes do that when I get all zappy?”
“Yes. I believe that is part of the reason that the Council members banished you. You are an anomaly, something which they cannot control. Damali and Francesca have been power hungry for decades. It is a wonder they waited as long as they did to rid themselves of you. I am just sorry that it was me that ultimately became your undoing.”
“Meh, you saved my butt. Even if that means I have to learn to control my temper, I’m still grateful. Maybe I could do some meditation exercises or something. Do you have any tricks?”
“Well, with you I clench my teeth and count to fifty. I found that counting to ten was not nearly long enough to keep me from wanting to throttle you.” Aberto full on smiled, almost knocking me over. That smile was dangerous.
“You are becoming quite the comedian.”
“I have a great teacher. Now, you need to rest. I will stay in the dreaming and keep guard, but I am blocking you.” Aberto lifted his hands to my face, gently holding me as if I would break at a moment’s notice.
“Okay. See you tomorrow?” Tears still threatened to flow, but I knew that Aberto was ultimately right, just as he always was. Not that I would be admitting to that any time soon.
“We have much to accomplish.” Just like that the calming blanket of nothing sank in.
See How She Falls Page 13