by Diana Gardin
Always tough.
But Ace doesn’t look at me like I’m some kind of obstacle to be conquered. He doesn’t look at me like he’s starving for a taste.
He looks at me with lust in his eyes, sure. He’s a man. And hell, I feel the same way about him. His body is ridiculous, the way his clothes fit him makes my mouth water. The way he carries himself, his confident swagger that says he needs nothing and no one, makes me want to be something he does need.
But he also looks at me like he’s seeing the person beneath all my hard and brash. He looks at me like he sees through the walls I built with both hands. He looks at me like he sees the woman I really am, not the one to fit his current wants.
And I never realized how much I craved that kind of look from a man until I met Ace.
He looks at me like I mean something.
“Why’s that?” His tone is low as he starts to stroll around my room.
He stops at my dresser where there’re several pictures in frames. A few of my sorority group photos. And three of Bryn and I throughout the years…smiling and laughing, making silly faces. I’m the only person my age I know prints out pictures and frames them. But when a moment means something to me, I want to freeze it and capture it forever.
Moving to stand beside him, I stare at the array of frames, seeing what my life looks like through his eyes. “Because I may live on a college campus with a bunch of sorority girls, but I’m an adult, Ace. I’m in my senior year here, and I’m perfectly capable of deciding who I want to spend the night in my bed. I’ll just have to get you out sometime before our house mom starts her office hours in the morning.”
He turns toward me and nails me with a wicked grin. “House mom? I thought those were only in the movies.”
Rolling my eyes, my face heats and I stare harder at the pictures. He nudges me with his shoulder, letting me know he’s only teasing. My heart flutters in my chest, a tiny bird that’s been caged for so long it’s aching to be free.
“Why aren’t your parents in any of these shots?” There’s nothing in his voice but pure interest and curiosity, but the question slices through my armor all the same.
I shrug, trying to shake off the pain. “Because they’re never around.” My voice catches, and I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t get emotional, not around anyone. Not even Bryn. But here I am, an overwhelming urge to cry sweeping through me, all because Ace asked about my parents.
His arm goes around me, and I lean into his embrace. It’s just natural. It feels so good. I breathe in deep shuddering breaths.
“You’re so strong,” he murmurs. “I know that about you, even know I don’t know you yet. But I want to. And you don’t have to be strong around me all the time. I can be that strength for you.”
His words burrow into my heart. A place no one gets to go, no one has ever tried to break into. And then they wrap me up in a comforting hug. His words do that.
Wow.
We went through something pretty crazy the other night. Awful. Scary. And I should associate all of those feelings with Ace, right? Like I should be feeling jittery and anxious right now. He thinks he’s in trouble, and I should want that trouble as far away from me as possible. But instead, I just feel…happy.
Like Ace and I are up on this isolated cloud where the bad things infecting the world can’t find us, can’t get to us.
And how insane is that?
“I’m strong?” The doubt in my voice is just as clear as the disbelief. “What about you? How does one come about becoming the head of a gambling ring at…how old are you, anyway?”
“Twenty-four.” A thoughtful expression crosses his face as he shakes his head. “By luck, honestly. It was one good bet...the first and only one I ever made. I used to hear the guys talking about betting on games at my uncle’s bar. If I know anything well, it’s football. I betted on one college game and won pretty big. I put all of that money into the G-Ring because I knew how successful it could be. It’s how I got everything set up.”
I stare at him, amazement building inside me. The arm circling me is hard and strong. Two things I connect with Ace. But it’s the moments when he’s not being this tough guy, the moments when he’s being real and open, that I want to bottle up and save.
“You’re a different kind of strong, though.” His voice is a murmur. “Your parents not being around, even though you obviously had money…”
Twisting under his arm, I look up at him. Two deep green eyes stare down at me. Now that I’m close to him and I have time to pay attention, I can see golden specks floating throughout the jewel-colored irises. They’re entrancing.
If I’m not careful, I could fall in deep and not be able to find my way out again.
I lock my arms around his neck. “I don’t want to talk about my parents.”
One brows lifts. “No?”
Shaking my head, my reply is barely a breath. “No.”
His full lips curve into a smirk. “What do you want, Naima?”
My heart beats faster. It thumps against my ribs, a caged hummingbird desperate to escape.
“I want you to tell me your plan to get the people who are after you off your back. And then I want you to kiss me senseless, Ace.”
His nostrils flare at the same time fire explodes in his eyes. The muscles in his arms tighten, pulling me closer to him in the process. I like it: the closeness, the feel of his arms around me. It feels safe, and…not lonely.
God, how pathetic is that?
Ace rips his gaze away from mine, glancing down as he steps back. He grabs my hand and leads me toward my bed. Sinking onto the plush pink quilt, he pulls me down beside him.
I settle into the softness and pull my legs up beneath me. Ace scrubs both hands over his face before lying back and staring up at the ceiling. Moving slow so I don’t disturb his thoughts, I lie down beside him and stare up, too.
“I’ve got it covered, Naima.” He sounds sure, but there’s something about it that’s off.
“What exactly do you have covered?” I roll onto my side so that I can see his facial expressions. I have a feeling that if his words aren’t telling me what I need to know, his face will be.
He continues to study my ceiling. I try to stay focused on his words and not the way his big body sprawls out on my bed, and how much I like it there.
“The guy that came in with a gun? I don’t know him, but he’d been to the ring a couple times before. Not the usual kind of client I get. The guys that gamble at the Ring are all young, out playing with Daddy’s money. They barely blink when they lose some, and I wouldn’t call them addicts. But this guy…he was different. I knew it from the jump. Never should have let him in.
“But I did, and the night you were there he was desperate. I could smell it on him. He obviously needed the money because he owed it. I didn’t pay enough attention. He didn’t win the cash he needed, so he decided to come back and take it.”
He pauses but doesn’t glance at me. I wish he would. I want to see his eyes while he tells me this. I don’t know why, but I do.
“So the guys that came in after him were men who work for whoever he owed. That much was clear. What isn’t obvious is who the loan shark is. I know there’re a few working the uptown circuit, but I stay out of those circles. I’m not a gambler myself. I started the G-Ring because my uncle owns a bar. He was a…safe place for me as a kid. When he opened, I was there as much as I could be. I’d just sit at the counter, and I’d hear stuff, you know? I got to know the way a man’s mind works, what he’s into. You know what I figured out? The number one thing that drives a man…and I’m no different?”
His words curl around me, a deep dark place inside where no one gets to go. Foreboding fills me with his meaning.
Yes, I know what drives men. It’s the thing which has always motivated my father my entire life, the thing that keeps both he and my mother away from me most of the time. A black cloud forms in my gut, causing me to clench up tight and close my eyes wi
th dread.
“Money.”
He grunts an affirmation. “Money. That’s all we want, Naima. When we have it, all is right with the world. And when we don’t?”
A shudder rolls through me as he pauses.
“Our lives are a fucking mess when we don’t have it. We spend all our time trying to get it.”
His voice has gone dark. Like there’s no trace of the Ace that draws me in, pulls me close.
But wait…is that true? Doesn’t this side of Ace draw me in just as surely as the rest of him? It’s the whole package, not just the pretty parts. I’m just as pulled to the scarred, the dark, the ugly.
Whether I want to be or not.
My voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “There’s more to you than that, Ace. You might not realize it, but there is. And I can see it.”
He finally turns his head and those striking eyes pierce me where I lay. The contact feels like an actual touch, and my breath stutters. “What you think you see in me…I don’t want to lie to you, Naima. It’s just not there.”
The tortured break in his voice clues me in to the hopelessness he’s feeling at that moment. Oh, it’s there, Ace. You just don’t know it. Maybe no one has ever shown you the best parts of yourself. I can.
I turn my head back toward the ceiling. But I grab his hand in mine, gripping it with fierce determination. He holds on tight; his grip is just as savage as mine. His sharp intake of breath overtures the emotion rolling off him.
“So…my uncle has some connections. He’s totally clean; his bar is legit. But he’s been to prison before” —he looks at me quickly, gauging my reaction— “and he knows people. He’s going to see what he can find out. And once I have a name for the loan shark, I’m going after him. I’ll see what I can find out. I need to get to him before he gets to me.”
I swallow hard. The fearful lump in my throat just won’t go away. “That sounds dangerous. I actually don’t like that plan very much at all.”
Ace’s sigh sounds exhausted. Has he even been sleeping?
I try to picture the guys in the fraternities around campus. What they’re probably all doing right now. If they aren’t sleeping, their biggest worry might be passing heir next exam. Or how they’re going to get into the Flavor-Of-The-Week’s pants. Or maybe, and this doesn’t happen often, they might be worrying about what they’re going to do after graduation. But a good number of them will be sliding right into whatever corporation their parents own.
They definitely aren’t agonizing about tracking down a murderer before said murderer finds them.
“Why…” I start, my voice careful. I know I’m cresting dangerous territory here. But I want to know the man lying beside me. His depth is unfathomable, and I’ve jumped in and am sinking fast. “…Does it feel like this isn’t the first time your life has been on the line?”
He turns toward me again and smiles. But his smile is sad, hollow, weary. It’s not the smile a normal twenty-four-year-old should wear. “You see things, don’t you, angel?”
Angel.
It’s the third time he’s called me that. I’ve never thought of myself that way. And I’m pretty sure no one else ever has either. But when the sweet nickname rolls off of Ace’s tongue, I’m warm and tingly all over. Like I just swallowed an entire cup of hot cocoa and am so very thirsty for more. It’s a new experience…and it’s nice. More than nice.
Okay, levels above nice.
“Anyway, I’ll be okay. Like you said, I’ve been the underdog before. Always claw my way to the top.” One side of his mouth tips up in a crooked grin that melts my insides, creating even more warmth.
“Ace. You can let me help you. It doesn’t have to be me going after this crazy loan shark or whatever. But I have a brain, and I can help you think strategy when you’re ready.”
He stares at me for a long moment. His gaze is intense and scrutinizing. I want to squirm beneath it, but I hold tight, staring right back into those deep, deep eyes.
“Yeah. You’re smart and you’re tough. I might run a few things by you.” He pulls out his phone, his mouth stretching into a wide, genuine grin that makes my heart flip-flop in its place in my chest. “First thing I want to run by you? Is that whole kissing request you made a little while ago.”
His voice has gone all deep and sexy, and oh my God. My body has a mind of its own as something inside me sizzles and unfurls. I’m now experiencing what it feels like to be insanely turned on. And I realize I’ve never truly felt it before.
He grabs hold of me and pulls me toward him, pivoting his body at the same time so that we’re both lying lengthwise on my queen-sized bed. Our faces pause less than an inch apart, but our bodies are pressed together from chest to knee.
His eyes are wide, bright, and full of fire. “Can’t stop thinking about those lips.”
His rough whisper scrapes against parts of my skin I’m not usually aware of. My eyes flutter, keeping time with my fluctuating heartbeat.
His eyes dart down to my lips before they swing back up to meet mine again. “I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be staying away from you. It’s what you need. It’s what I know has to be done. But I couldn’t.”
My breath mingles with his as I whisper. “Good.”
Thirteen
NAIMA
When I inhale, he blankets my senses.
He smells good. Like fresh citrus mixed with mint….and wind.
And at the same time his smell hits me, his big, strong hand cups the back of my head. Just when I’m feeling the zing from that possessive connection, that firm and mesmerizing mouth claims mine.
And damn does he possess me. Like no man has ever kissed me before. No man should have the power to make me feel like this. Like I could simultaneously melt into a puddle at his feet and climb all over him like some wild, desperate savage.
My hands float to his hair, and as I tug on the ends he groans. Pulls me closer. Kisses me harder.
It’s the kind of moment where everything else drops away. There’s no dangerous loan shark or hired killers. There’s no gambling ring. There’s no society expectations. There’s just me, Ace, and our lips.
And his hands. God, his hands.
Every place he puts his hands is intentional. Like he wants me to feel this in the best possible way. One slips down my side while the other cups my face. Then he’s sliding a hand over my hip and the other coasts around the side of my breast, making me shiver in his hold.
His lips tear away from mine, only to draw a line of hot kisses down the side of my jaw. I gasp, and he freezes.
No! Don’t stop! That was a good gasp!
Glancing up at me, his eyes are so heated, so dark, and so Ace. His bottom lip catches between his teeth, and his low murmur makes my thighs clench and my lower belly flutter.
“Just kisses, baby. I promise…this doesn’t go further than that tonight.”
Tonight. The word is like a satin promise.
I’ve never been shy about what I do with guys. If I want to, I make out with them. Sometimes I go a little further if the mood is right. But with Ace, everything is different. I’m nervous about what he’s feeling when his hands travel over my skin. I’m breathless because of the way his kisses make me feel. It’s all so intense, so much more.
Like fire and gasoline, and our closeness is the match.
Like our bodies are connected, meld ourselves together, slow and simmering. Ace rolls on top of me, one hand crawling up my side underneath my shirt, his lips still possessing mine. Every part of me feels perfect.
Absolutely perfect.
He keeps his promise. He doesn’t push me further than I want to go, even though if I’m honest I’m probably willing to go past any line I’ve ever crossed before. His lips touch me, caress me, own me long into the night, and then he holds me close while we fall asleep.
When my eyes flutter open the next morning, the first thing they land on is Ace’s forearm. It’s slung across my midsection, and as soon as I f
eel him, my insides begin to smolder. Turning my head to the left, I find Ace is on his side, his arm reaching across me like a protective shield.
I don’t want to move. No, all I want to do is cuddle closer to him and snuggle in for a day in bed.
I’ve never spent the day in bed with a guy, but it seems like such a delicious idea for Ace and I. Trying to move minimally, I reach over to my nightstand to check the time on my phone.
Yep. Only an hour before I have to be in my first class. So I’m not spending the day in bed with anyone. The last thing I need is to fall behind in my classes now, when the finish line is so close.
After I put my phone down, I turn into Ace, placing my hand against his cheek. His lashes are long and dark, touching his skin as he blinks with the haze of sleep still in his eyes.
“Hey.” A slow, dangerous smile works its way across his face. That forearm flexes, and pulls me closer. We’re face to face, and I’m not even sweating my morning breath.
He’s too much of a distraction.
“Hey.”
He stretches, and my eyes travel down his body. We slept on top of the covers, and his t-shirt rides up as his arms lift above his head.
Damn. That’s what I was feeling last night.
When I meet his gaze again, he’s wearing a smug grin.
“Don’t.” I nudge him. “Don’t even say it.”
His grin grows. “Don’t say what? Oh, you mean you don’t want me to mention anything about the fact that you were just blatantly checking me out?”
I slap those rock-hard abs, and he doesn’t even flinch.
“Ouch.” A small chuckle escapes him.
My eyebrows pull together in a frown. “That didn’t even hurt, did it?”
His eyes are full of mischief, but he keeps his voice innocent. “Did you want it to?”
His expression softens and he uses a thumb to trace my jaw line, then my bottom lip. “I’ve never done this before.”
Shock ripples through me, like circles radiating from a thrown stone in a pond. “What? Slept with a girl?”