by Lesley Crewe
“Shoot.”
“If I ever have a daughter, will you make her prom dress?”
Bay leaned her head against Gertie’s shoulder. Gertie patted her knee.
When Tansy drove to the gas station there was no one there. She looked at the time. It was 9:40. She decided she’d wait for five more minutes and if he wasn’t there by then, she’d continue on alone.
Every time a car went by she wondered if it was him. Finally it was. A truck came towards her and parked beside her car. He smiled at her but sat for a few seconds as if debating whether to get out. It unnerved her. Most men jumped at the chance to be in her company. She looked at those dark brooding eyes and decided his uncertainty made him more attractive.
When he got out of the truck, she tossed her head towards the passenger door of her car. Dermot walked over, opened the door, and got in. He smelled heavenly, which was a complete surprise.
“Hi.”
“Hi, Dermot. It’s good to see you.”
He looked nervous and awkward in her fancy car. He said, “You look nice.”
“Thank you.”
He slapped his knees. “So, where to?”
She took the keys out of the ignition. “How about we go in your truck?”
He seemed surprised. “Oh, sure.” He looked around. “But you better not leave your car here. How about I put it in the garage? That way it will be safe.”
“Okay,” she smiled. “Whatever you think.”
He got out of the car and went over to the garage doors to unlock them. She fired up the engine and manoeuvred the car through the tight space. When she turned it off and opened the door, he held out his hand to help her out.
“Thank you.”
They walked out together and he pulled the garage door down and locked it. He opened the truck door for her. “I’m afraid it’s not very clean.”
“That’s okay. Don’t worry about me.”
He helped her in and shut it behind her. When he sat behind the wheel, he turned to her. “Before we go, I need to ask you something.”
Tansy crossed her bare legs. “Ask me anything you like.”
“Are you with me because you like slumming it?”
“Excuse me?”
“A woman like you doesn’t go with a guy like me unless she’s into having an adventure she can laugh about with her friends over lunch.”
Tansy smiled. “You’re not stupid, are you, Dermot?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Believe me. I won’t be telling anyone about this. My family wouldn’t approve.”
“Of me, in particular?”
“Not at all, but they live in a Betty Crocker world.”
“And what world do you live in?”
“Madonna.”
Dermot laughed. “Looks like I’m in for a wild ride.”
“That’s a promise.”
They spent the evening in Sydney, going to a few clubs, but it was obvious to Tansy that Dermot was extremely uncomfortable in places where there was loud music and dancing. She tried to get him up on the dance floor, but he begged off. When he looked at his watch, she said, “Let’s get out of here.”
They talked easily all the way back to Louisbourg. When they neared the garage, she turned to him. “Take me home with you.”
Dermot stared straight ahead, but the truck got slower and slower.
She held her breath and waited.
When they passed the garage she smiled. Without a word between them he drove into his yard and they got out of the truck. He preceded her up the back steps.
“This is a lovely old house.” She took in the old porch and peeling paint. “You should fix it up a little.”
“I work a lot.” He opened the door and went through ahead of her. He turned on the kitchen light and she saw that his dishes from breakfast were still on the table.
“You need a wife.”
“I know.”
Dermot threw his keys on the counter and put his hands in his back pockets. He looked everywhere but at her. She placed her purse on the table and walked over to him. She put her arms around his neck and made him look at her.
“I don’t bite, you know.”
He looked away. “It’s not that. It’s just…”
“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’m not going to beg.”
He looked at her then. “I need to explain something.”
She pulled her arms away. “Go ahead.”
Dermot gave a big sigh. “I’m in love with someone.”
“A girlfriend?”
“No. A friend.”
“And she doesn’t know this?”
“Yes, she does, but she’s…”
“…a fool.”
Dermot shook his head. “She’s no fool. She’s lost at the moment.”
Now it was Tansy’s turn to sigh. She turned away from him and walked aimlessly around the room, as if to gather her thoughts. Then she stood in front of him and took his hands.
“Dermot, I can tell you this in all honesty. I don’t want your heart. I gave mine away a long time ago, so keep your heart for your friend. No one will know about this. It’s you and me and something we can share to keep the night at bay. I’m lonely and I think you’re lonely too. You’re not betraying her. I want your body, that’s all.”
She put her arms back around his neck. “Now be very quiet and let me kiss you.” She pulled his head towards hers and almost touched his mouth but not quite. Her lips opened and she waited. He groaned and kissed her. A shock of electricity shot through them both. Everything and everyone else was forgotten.
He eventually led her upstairs and the rest of the night was filled with the soft sounds of skin against skin and their breathless whispers.
It was daybreak when Dermot got up from the bed and went over to the window. He stood there for a long time. When he finally looked back, she was awake.
“Hi.”
She smiled. He walked over to the bed, grabbed his jeans off the floor, and put them on.
“You’re a dangerous man, Dermot.”
He pulled up his zipper. “Why’s that?”
“You made me feel too much.”
Tansy let herself in the back door quietly. She wanted to go upstairs and put on her bathrobe, so she could walk back downstairs and put the coffee maker on for Bay. But that idea was thrown out the window, because as soon as Tansy stepped into the kitchen carrying her sandals Bay waylaid her.
“Did you have a nice time?”
Tansy jumped. “God, you scared me.”
“Sorry.”
“I hope you didn’t wait up for me.”
“Of course not. I couldn’t sleep and noticed your car wasn’t in the yard. Where have you been?”
Tansy threw her shoes in the corner and sat at the table. “I’m not sixteen and you’re not Mom,” she laughed.
“No, but you’re still my house guest. I was worried.”
“Is that what I am?” Tansy frowned. “A house guest? I’m not your sister who grew up in this house too?”
“You might be my sister, but you’re almost a stranger and I don’t know how long you’re staying. You won’t tell me. Maybe you’re here just long enough for Ashley to learn to love you before you disappear again. And I’ll be left to pick up the pieces.”
“Stop, Bay. Stop making me feel guilty all the time. Don’t you think I feel badly that I didn’t come back for Mom’s funeral? That I regret it? Do you think it’s easy to come into this kitchen and not miss her like crazy? You lived with her. I didn’t.”
“And whose decision was that?”
“I had no choice.”
“Bullshit.”
Tansy stood up. “I couldn’t come back to this house when I knew she was dead. I would’ve gone out of my mind. Trust me on that, Bay. You were better off without me.”
“I needed you, even if you’d been no help at all. I needed someone to hold my hand while I held Ashley’s.”
“Stop it!”
They turned. Ashley was in the doorway looking frightened. “Mom, stop fighting with her. You’ll make her leave.”
“I’m not—”
“You are. Don’t do this to me.”
Tansy stepped towards her. “Sweetheart, it’s not your mother’s fault. It’s mine.”
Ashley shook her head. “She always does this. She’s always sad and she has to make everyone else sad around her.”
“Is that what you think?” Bay whispered.
“It’s true, Mom. You’re not happy about me and Matt. You’re not happy that your sister’s finally come home. Why can’t you just be happy?”
“Excuse me.” Bay went out the back door.
Ashley yelled after her. “Fine, go sit on your stupid swing. That’s all you ever do.”
“It’s okay, Ashley. Come sit down.” Tansy pulled her to the table and made her sit. “Listen to me. Please don’t be angry with your mother. This is between us. It has nothing to do with you, okay?”
“I’m so happy that you’re here. I want her to be glad too.”
“Then don’t be hard on her. She doesn’t deserve that, because she’s had a terrible time of it and she’s right. I should have been here for her.”
“Okay.”
“Go to her.”
Ashley nodded and went outside. Tansy pressed her palms into her eyeballs. Her head ached. She slowly went upstairs and closed the bedroom door behind her.
CHAPTER FIVE
It didn’t take long for the locals to express their displeasure with Tansy. Bay got an earful from Flo, Mrs. Cathcart, and Eldon. She listened and nodded sympathetically and went back to work. What they wanted her to do about it she didn’t know. Her sister had always caused havoc. It wasn’t anything new.
When she saw Dermot get out of his truck the next morning, Bay’s heart raced. Something had to be done. She hated being on the outs with him. As he walked towards the post office, she thought he looked different. Aloof, almost, and it was because of her.
He entered the foyer and went straight to his box. When he didn’t look at her and was about to turn and leave, she shouted, “Dermot!”
He looked up and she beckoned him over. He opened the door and came through. “What is it?”
Bay cleared her throat. “How are you?”
“Okay.”
“Look, Dermot, I’m sorry I yelled at you the other night. I haven’t been myself and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that.”
He continued to look at her but didn’t speak.
Bay became uncomfortable. He wasn’t making this easy. “I hope we’re still friends.”
“Yes, Bay. We’ll always be friends, won’t we? I’m sorry, I have to go.”
He turned around and walked out. She stared open-mouthed as he got in his truck and squealed his tires leaving the parking space.
When Gertie came to see her on her lunch hour, Bay told her about it.
“Hmm. What would a Cosmo girl do?” Gertie wondered.
“What?”
“You know. What would a girl in Cosmo magazine do?”
“Who gives a shit? They’re not real. It’s a stupid committee of preppy editors who sit around with their café mochas and pretend they have vastly superior sex lives to the rest of us.”
Gertie shrugged. “Well, they do.”
“Oh, shut up, Gertie. You’re no help at all.”
“How exactly did he look when you apologized?”
“He looked annoyed.”
“Hmm, that’s not good.”
“You don’t say.”
Gertie reached into her pants pocket and pulled out some Mentos. “Want one?”
“Okay.” Bay reached over and Gertie squeezed two into her hand.
“I think you have to make the next move. He has every right to be mad at you; all he did was tell you he liked you, that he wanted to be with you, and you basically told him to take a hike. That must have been great on the old ego.”
Bay chewed her mints at a furious pace. “I’m a real jerk sometimes.”
“Sometimes? I beg to differ. You’re a jerk quite frequently.”
“That must be why I hang around with you,” Bay smiled.
“Listen, do you think I should do that internet thing Ashley talked about?”
“Meeting someone over the internet is quite common these days. There’s nothing wrong with it.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You’ve got nothing to lose.”
“Yes, I do. My virginity.”
Bay stared at her. “You’re kidding. You never told me that. As a matter of fact, you told me you did it with what’s-his-face…that fellow who came here one summer.”
“I lied.”
“Oh, Gertie.”
“I’m only human. You and Bobby were driving me crazy the way you were all over each other. I was jealous. And it didn’t help that your sister had every boy in town following her like she was the Pied Piper. Why I don’t hate the two of you intensely is beyond me.”
Bay shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”
Gertie laughed and headed towards the door. “Gotta run, or saunter, as the case may be. Listen, call Dermot and ask him over for supper. That’s what I’d do. And then make something really nice, like Cornish hen and baked Alaska.”
“I’ll make spaghetti.”
“You’re too stubborn for your own good.”
Later that afternoon when all was quiet, Bay called the garage.
“Irving.”
“Hi, Dermot. It’s me.”
“Yes?”
“Would you like to come over for supper tonight?”
There was a long silence. “Sorry, Bay. I have plans tonight.”
“Oh, of course. Well, another time, perhaps.”
“Right. See ya.” He hung up.
Bay looked at her cellphone because she couldn’t believe it. He blew her off, just like that. She put the phone in her purse and walked out to the small mirror in the back room. She looked long and hard at herself. Hazel eyes and pretty heart-shaped face, freckles across the bridge of her nose. She looked tired, but maybe if she put her hair up and tried some makeup…
The thought that Dermot was fed up with her made her stomach knot. Dermot not being there was something that had never occurred to her, and the fact that it hadn’t made her feel worse. She was the last person on earth who should take people for granted, since she knew only too well how fleeting life could be.
She needed to smarten up.
About everything.
Rain was falling when Bay left work. Before she closed up for the night, Tansy’s car appeared in front of the post office. Bay ran to it and hopped in.
“I knew you’d get soaked, walking home in this,” Tansy said.
“Thanks.”
“Want to go out for supper? My treat.”
Bay leaned her head back against the car seat. “That would be great, actually.” She looked over at her sister. “I’m glad you’re here, you know. Sorry I’ve been difficult.”
Tansy smiled and looked over her shoulder before she drove into the street. “That’s okay.”
Bay looked out the side window. The rhythm of the wipers soothed her.
“Are you all right, Bay? I mean, do you feel okay?”
Bay watched the passing scenery, the familiar houses and stores of the town she grew up in. She knew it like the back of her hand, which was a blessing and a curse.
“I don’t know if I feel anything.”
“And how long has this been going on?”
“Since Mom died…I miss her.”
“God forbid I sound like an old busybody, but you should see a doctor.”
Bay swivelled her head to look at her sister. “What for?”
“I think you’re depressed.”
“Nonsense. I’m sad, that’s all. Aren’t I allowed to be sad?”
“Yes, Bay. You’re allowed to be sad, but believe it or not, you�
��re also allowed to be happy.”
Bay didn’t say anything, so Tansy continued. “If not for your sake, then for Ashley’s. It hurts her to see you like this.”
“So now you’re an expert on Ashley. That didn’t take long.”
Tansy pulled up to the house and parked in the driveway. “I’ve got eyes, haven’t I? Look, let’s drop it. Run in and get Ashley and she can decide where we’ll eat.”
Bay nodded, got out of the car, and disappeared around the corner. She went into the kitchen and hollered for her. A muffled “What?” came from the bedroom. Bay went to the bottom of the stairs.
“Do you want to go out for supper?”
“Sure, can Matt come too?”
“Yeah, we’ll pick him up.”
Ashley and Matt appeared at the top of the stairs. “You won’t have to. He’s here.”
Bay gave her a look and Ashley gave her one back. Bay’s look said You know how I feel about Matt in your room and Ashley’s said Lighten up, why do you always think the worst?
When Matt passed her on the stairs, he gave her a quick smile and rushed by, as if afraid she’d reach out and grab him by the collar.
“You better call your mom and tell her we’ll bring you home after dinner.”
“Okay, thanks.” He went to the phone. It gave the other two a chance to stare each other down. Ashley was about to open her mouth but Bay put her hand up.
“Never mind. Let’s go and have fun.”
Ashley smiled. “Okay.”
When Matt got off the phone, Bay quickly fed Merlin and then they ran out the back door and around the house and realized too late that they’d never fit in Tansy’s sports car, so they got soaked as they switched vehicles.
“Great,” Tansy pouted. “I look like a drowned rat.” She checked the mirror in the sun visor. “I should’ve worn waterproof mascara. What a ridiculous place this is. Rain, fog, drizzle, wind—you name it, it’s here.”
Bay backed back out of the driveway. “Are you telling me you didn’t have weather in New York?”
“Not destructive, damp, stupid fog.”
“You’re in for a great time, then.” Bay turned onto Main Street and started to pick up speed, when she noticed Gertie walking along the sidewalk, head down, with four grocery bags in her hands.