“I don’t have to do anything,” I countered. “We can keep it between us now. I think I would feel weird doing it with someone else.”
“I think Rafael is right,” Aric prodded. “I won’t put my ego ahead of your safety. You need to try.”
“Do it with me first,” Kelsey said, hopping to her feet. “Show me a memory.”
I chewed on my bottom lip. Did I want to do that?
“It’s okay, Zoe,” Aric whispered. “We’ll always have the dirty ones just for us.”
I rolled my eyes and made a face but straightened on his lap. “Hold out your hand, Kelsey,” I instructed.
Kelsey smiled and did as instructed. Everyone leaned forward to watch as I took her hand and closed my eyes.
Kelsey’s mind differed from Aric’s. It wasn’t as comfortable or familiar – and she had a strange clown fear hiding in a corner that terrified me – but when I finally kicked open the door to her memory I felt overwhelming relief, followed quickly by abject giddiness.
“I figured,” Kelsey mused, digging into the can of beets again. “My dad is a cop in Detroit. I told people you weren’t a suspect, but you know how girls are. When they’re threatened by someone, they make up horrible things about them.”
“Why would they be threatened by me?” I queried.
“Because,” Kelsey replied simply. “You’re different. When people are different, that makes other people – boring people – look at the different person and wish they could be like them. When they realize that they can’t be like them, they start to covet what that person has.”
“People covet my life?” That couldn’t be right. My life was a mess. “Why?”
“Because things just seem to happen that launch you into the spotlight,” Kelsey rambled. “Your roommate dies and people see you getting attention for it. You get stalked by a killer and saved by the hottest guy on campus and people wish that had been them. Then, when you come back from summer vacation and that guy is all over you, well, then people just get outright jealous.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” I said. “My life is not something to be jealous of.”
“You think that because you see all the flaws,” Kelsey replied sagely. “People don’t see the flaws when they look at someone. Don’t get me wrong, they’re willing to make up flaws when they dislike someone, but they never see the real flaws. They never see the things that haunt someone. They ignore those.”
Huh. “You’re pretty deep,” I said. “I wasn’t expecting that. You’re wrong, though; people aren’t jealous of me. They’re afraid of me.”
“Why would they be afraid of you?” Kelsey scoffed.
“Because I’m different,” I answered quietly. “You said that yourself. People fear things they don’t see in themselves.”
“You want to be different,” Kelsey was insistent. “Trust me. Five years from now, the faceless masses will be stuck in cubicles and following set life plans. They’ll be married with two-point-five kids and living in the suburbs. You’ll be more than that.”
“You seem pretty sure of that,” I laughed.
“I see greatness,” Kelsey shrugged. “I recognize it when I see it.”
“Oh, yeah?” I couldn’t help but like this Kelsey. Maybe I should keep her drunk all the time. That was an interesting thought – although I would probably go broke with the effort. “How do you recognize it?”
“I see it in the mirror every day,” Kelsey smirked.
I couldn’t help joining in with her laughter when she dissolved into giggles. “I bet you do.”
Kelsey suddenly sobered. “Just be careful,” she warned.
“What do you mean?”
“When people see greatness, they try to squash it.”
“Good to know.” Apparently Kelsey was a philosophical drunk. At least she wasn’t a weepy drunk.
“I can’t believe you just showed me that,” Kelsey said, squealing as she jerked her hand away. “I can’t believe you considered keeping me drunk because you thought I was bitchy.”
“You were bitchy,” I argued.
“That was kind of neat,” Kelsey said after a moment, glancing around. “My brain feels tingly. I felt like I was in Zoe’s body watching myself from far off.”
“This is really intriguing,” Pemberley said. “Kelsey isn’t magical, yet Zoe took only a few moments to get through her barriers. I think we should try the vampire next. He should have stronger mental barriers.”
“I can’t help thinking that’s a dig,” Aric said.
“At both of us,” Kelsey said, narrowing her eyes.
“It’s not a dig,” Pemberley said. “You don’t have barriers where Zoe is concerned, Aric. You let her into your heart and head willingly. Plus, you didn’t know to try to keep her out. Now I don’t think you would even try because you’d worry it would hurt her feelings. Kelsey doesn’t have the power to keep Zoe out. I want to see what happens when she tries with the vampire.”
“I don’t know,” Aric hedged.
“Are you afraid of them connecting, or what she might show him?” Pemberley asked, his dark eyes probing.
“Maybe both,” Aric conceded. “Go ahead and do it, baby. Part of me wants to see whether you can do it, too.”
I wasn’t convinced. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Aric said. “It had better not be a filthy dream, though.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” I said, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before climbing off his lap and moving closer to Rafael.
For his part, the taciturn vampire got to his feet and stretched out his hands. “Show me something funny,” he instructed.
“Okay.” I reached out and touched his fingers, inhaling quickly as I remembered how cold his skin was to the touch. I closed my eyes and probed, frowning as I circled his mind. It looked completely closed off. “I … there’s nothing here.”
Aric snorted. “I could’ve told you that.”
“Simmer down, wolf,” Rafael said. “I put barriers up to see whether I could keep her out. Zoe, don’t hurt me as you try to get in.”
“I’ve got it,” I said. I pushed against his mind, finding it surprisingly hard, and then opted to go at it a different way. Instead of making myself stronger to break through the barrier, I turned my thoughts more liquid and let them seep into Rafael’s mind.
“Ah,” Rafael gasped. “That was … very good. I forgot how good you are at problem solving.”
“She’s still mine,” Aric growled.
“Oh, stuff it, wolf,” Rafael said. “Show me something, Zoe. I want to see.”
I did just that, the only surprise coming when Aric put his hand to the back of my neck and hijacked the ride.
“Do you want me to fry you with my magic fingers?” I lifted my hand for emphasis. “I think you should just go.”
The wolf glanced to the left and right. I was sure there was some sort of internal debate going on in there – although I had no idea about what.
“More people will be coming down the hill,” I said. “Do you want to draw a lot of unwanted attention by trying to kill me? Do you want people telling the story of the girl with the magic fingers killing the wolf? And then, of course, there will be the follow-up story about your real-life disappearance. Only a handful of people will ever be able to put the two stories together and come up with the truth.”
The wolf hunched down.
“There’s a vampire in these woods somewhere.” I tried one more time. “Even if you manage to kill me – which is doubtful – he’ll rip you from limb to limb before you get out of here.”
“She’s not lying,” Rafael said, dropping from a nearby tree branch and landing between the wolf and me.
“Where have you been?” I complained.
“I’ve been watching to see what our friend here would do,” he said. “You were in no danger. I was close enough to intervene if necessary.”
“I didn’t say I was in danger,” I grum
bled. “I just can’t figure you out sometimes.”
“And what is confusing you, my dear?”
“You’re all ‘it’s dangerous, you can’t be alone,’” I said. “And then, when I’m actually in danger, you decide to take a wait-and-see approach. You’re just so infuriating.”
Rafael cocked his head. “Was that your imitation of me?”
“That’s what you’re worried about? Good grief. Handle the ball of fur.”
“Where are you going?”
I popped the binding on my second ski and lifted it. “I have to go and track down my other ski.”
“I told you this is an insufferable sport,” Rafael said. “We would be so much better off if you’d just stayed in and watched television like I wanted.”
“You have the adventurous spirit of an old woman,” I complained, leaning back on the heels of my boots so I could slide down the hill faster. “Oh, try not to kill him. I probably went to high school with him or something.”
Rafael sighed. “Fine.” He glanced at the wolf. “You can go now.”
“Of course you would pick that memory,” Rafael sighed, pulling his hands away. “You always like to refer to me as an ‘old woman.’”
Aric chuckled, relief washing over him. “Is that what you did when we were broken up? If you messed with him for twelve months, I feel a whole lot better about the entire thing.”
“You would,” Rafael muttered. “Still, that was illuminating. If she can get through my barriers, she can probably get through anyone’s barriers.”
“I want to be next,” Mom said.
“I think that’s a terrible idea,” I replied. “We won’t be on speaking terms for the rest of the week if I do that. In fact … .” I broke off, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. “What is that?”
“What is what?” Rafael asked, glancing around.
“Don’t you … feel … that?” I asked, taking a step toward Aric. “Don’t you hear that?”
“What should I be hearing?” Rafael asked.
As if on cue Aric’s phone emitted the Game of Thrones theme.
“Something is trying to break through the wards,” Aric said, instantly on alert.
“It’s already here,” I said, bracing myself one second before a wave of magic descended. It barreled into me, almost as if a herd of runaway horses trampled my body. It threw me away from everyone else, tossing my body fifteen feet in the air and then slamming it to the ground.
I could hear whispers, feel thousands of grasping fingers as they ripped at my mind. I tried to fight it off, but nothing physical was there. The pain was intense, and that’s when I began screaming.
“Zoe!” Aric raced toward me, even as Rafael and James fought to hold him in place.
“You don’t know what’s happening,” James gasped. “Whatever is attacking her could kill you.”
“I don’t care,” Aric seethed, ripping away from his father and sprinting to me. He put his body on top of mine and covered me completely, trying to absorb the attacking magic. With another mind to focus on, the whispers split their attack.
That’s when Aric howled his own pain.
Then everything went black.
20
Twenty
“Aric?”
Everything was black, at least at first. Light slowly filtered into the haze as I rolled to my side, grimacing as the pain receded. It took me a moment to realize where I was, but I recognized Aric’s old apartment at Covenant College relatively quickly.
“Aric?”
“I’m here,” Aric said, moving out of the bedroom. His face was unreadable as he bent over to help me from the floor. “Are you okay?”
“My head hurts,” I admitted, rubbing my forehead. “How did we get here?”
“I don’t think we’re really here, Zoe,” Aric replied, rubbing his fingers over my forehead. “I think this is the place you sent us when the pain got to be too much.”
It took me a moment to grasp what he was saying. “This is another dream.”
“It’s not a dream,” Aric said, shaking his head. “It’s a safe place to recover. It’s a comforting spot to … rest.”
“So you’re saying we’re still back home being attacked,” I said.
“I think so.”
“Are we dying?”
“I don’t know, baby,” Aric said, pulling me in for a hug and burying his face in my hair. “I don’t know. We’re together, though. That’s the most important thing.”
I let him rock me for a moment, and then pulled away. “We can’t stay here. We have to find a way back. What happens if someone attacks our family?”
“Rafael is there. So are my father, Paris and your parents. We have no idea what Pemberley is capable of. They’ll protect themselves.”
He had more faith than I did. “We have to go back.”
“How do you suggest we do that, Zoe?” Aric asked, his patience thin but present. “I’ve been awake about five minutes longer than you. I’ve tried everything I can think of to get out of here. The door won’t open. The windows are blank on the other side. There’s nothing there. This isn’t a real place. You’re protecting us with your mind.”
“You can’t know that,” I protested. “For all you know we’re already back in our bed and this is a dream. We could wake up any second.”
“We could,” Aric conceded. “I think we’re here as long as you need us to be here.”
“And then what?” Invisible fingers squeezed my heart. “Do we die if I let go?”
“I don’t know,” Aric said, his expression mournful. “I think the fact that you’re holding us here means you’re strong enough to survive this. I don’t know what it means for me.”
“It means you’re going to be fine,” I argued, my voice cracking. “We’re both going to be fine.”
“Okay,” Aric said, pulling me back to him and resting his cheek against my forehead. “Let’s rest for a few minutes and then figure this out. You’re going to be okay.”
I didn’t miss the fact that he said “you’re going to be okay.” He was resigned to my survival and his death. I don’t know how I knew it, but I did. “We’re going to be okay,” I corrected. “I won’t lose you.”
Aric gripped my chin and tilted my head up. “Zoe, no matter what happens, I need you to know that I love you and I wouldn’t change a moment of our life together.” His eyes filled with tears and I jerked away.
“You’re giving up yet we have no idea what’s happening back home,” I snapped. “Don’t do that.”
“I’m very weak, Zoe,” Aric said, his voice wavering. “I can feel that. I think the only reason I’m still here is because you somehow put up a barrier to protect us. When that barrier goes down … .”
“Shut your mouth,” I hissed. “When that barrier goes down we’re both going to be fine. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Okay,” Aric said, holding up his hands to placate me. “Come back here, though. I need to hold you in case … .”
I burst into tears, giving in as he hugged me. I didn’t want to believe the words, but something inside of me told me they were right. I wrapped my arms around his waist and sobbed, letting his tears mix with mine until I had an idea. I pulled my head back and glanced up at him. “I can heal you.”
“Not if you’re unconscious you can’t,” Aric countered. “You’re powerful. No one is that powerful, though.”
“What if I heal myself first?”
Aric stilled. “How are you going to do that?”
“I’ve done it before,” I reminded him. “I did it when I got thrown into your truck by Rafael’s vampire girlfriend that night senior year.”
“Yes, but you were conscious then.”
“I’m still aware,” I said, refusing to give up on the idea. “I can heal myself in here and then heal you out there.”
“That’s a wonderful thought,” Aric said. “If anyone can pull it off, it’s you. I still have some things I need
to say, though.”
“I’m not listening to them,” I said, obstinately crossing my arms over my chest. “You can say them when we’re home again. Together.”
“Zoe, you have to let me say what’s in my heart,” Aric said, refusing to back down. “It’s important to me … and I think I’m running out of time.”
“No.”
Aric ignored me. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. If we’re separated – don’t cry, baby – if we’re separated, I’ll still love you. I’ll be waiting for you wherever I am.
“You need to be happy, though,” he continued. “Don’t grieve too long. Don’t blame yourself. I wouldn’t change a thing. You’re my whole heart. I’ll be here forever.” Aric pressed his hand to the spot above my heart. “Don’t be afraid to find someone else and let them love you. You deserve that.”
It was a beautiful sentiment. “You’re an idiot,” I hissed, pushing his hand away. “I won’t lose you. It’s not going to happen. I won’t let it.”
“Zoe.”
“No!” I sat on the living room couch and rested my hands on my knees. “This is going to work. I’m going to heal myself and wake up back there so I can heal you. It’s going to be okay.”
“I love you, Zoe.” Aric’s voice was weaker.
“I love you, too,” I said, knitting my eyebrows as I concentrated. “You need to fight, though. You need to hang on for me.”
“I will always fight for you.”
“That’s good,” I said. “If you don’t fight … if you leave me … I’ll move Rafael into your house. I’ll never forgive.”
“Zoe.” Aric’s voice was almost gone.
I felt the familiar tingle associated with the blue glow of my healing power before I felt it radiating out of my hands and throughout my body. I lifted my fingers and pressed them to my head, risking a glance toward Aric. He was fading.
“I love you. I will see you very soon. Don’t you leave me,” I begged.
“I love you, baby.”
I WOKE to the sound of screaming. Getting my bearings wasn’t easy given Aric’s weight on top of me. I was glowing – not just my fingertips, but my entire body – and I was blue. I poured the magic into Aric, ignoring myself. I’d already healed myself. I knew I could.
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