An Officer And His Gentleman

by Ryan Field

  By the time the small loaves of meat were cool enough to be covered and placed in the wooden bowl for the customers, he was so involved in displaying his work that he actually jumped back when Sarah walked inside and shouted, “I smell the best meatloaf in the world cooking.” She was chomping on a piece of bubblegum. Her lips smacked together and she blew a bubble so large, she had to scrape gum off her lips with her long red fingernail. She wore tight white shorts and a black-and-white polka dot T-shirt.

  He lifted his arms in the air and shrugged. “I guess I'm back."

  "I won't say I'm glad, because you don't really want to be here,” she said. “But I'm not totally depressed to see your face either. When I thought that I'd have to work here without you, I was ready to start job-hunting myself."

  He placed the wooden bowl on a slight angle at the edge of the deli case and crossed the room so he could see if she had enough cash in the drawer. When he slipped behind the counter, he asked her, “So what's going on with you these days?” He didn't really want to hear about Sarah and her boyfriend, but he figured if he asked, then she pry for details about his lost relationship with Brody. He didn't want to talk about it, He wanted to push his feelings for Brody as far back as possible and forget them.

  "Well, wait until you hear this,” she said. She plopped her purse under the counter and put her hands on her hips. “Mike asked last night if I would consider anal sex.” She didn't even take a hesitant breath, but rather blurted this information out casually. She studied one chipped red fingernail.

  "He asked what?” He was partly shocked by the declaration, and also because Dan had left only twenty singles in the drawer; he'd have to get her some money.

  "If I would let him do anal sex with me,” she said, and then reached around and pointed to her rear end. Her voice was still loud. Most women would have leaned forward and whispered such a thing, and some wouldn't have mentioned it at all. But Sarah was so pleased, she could barely catch her breath.

  Chance stepped back and put his hands in his pockets. “What did you do?"

  "I told him I'd ask you about it first,” she said. “I'm not trying to get any details about you and Brody. God forbid. I just want to know what it's like, is all. You know, in a general sense."

  "You told Mike that I'm an expert on anal sex?” he asked. He was silently glad she hadn't used phrases like, take it back door or take it in the ass. You could never be sure what was going to come out of her mouth next.

  "I didn't say you were an expert,” she said “I just said I'd ask you."

  "What did Mike say?"

  "He said it was a good idea. That you probably knew all about anal sex. By the way, Mike thinks you have a great ass; he told me so.” She shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

  "Well, tell Mike I'm flattered,” he said, “but I'd rather not discuss this sort of thing.” He had to wonder why Mike was checking out his ass.

  "Ah, c'mon. I know he's going to ask me to do it tonight, and I'm not sure if I want to."

  He stared across the room at the barrel filled with long pepperoni sticks and smiled. “I'll give you some brief advice. But I'm not going into details. It might hurt a little at first, but eventually you'll be backing into it.” He pressed his hands on the counter firmly and smiled. “And that's all I'm going to say."

  "So you like it? Does he have a big one?” she asked.

  He winked and placed his index fingers in front of her face about a foot apart. “I liked it with Brody, but I don't know about anyone else."

  Her eyes grew wide and she whistled back. She was about to ask him another question, but they both stopped talking when a piercing scream came from the back door of the market. They heard another scream, more violent than the first, and ran out the back door toward the barn, where they found Dan standing over four trapped squirrels. He was moaning, “I don't believe this,” over and over, slapping the sides of his head with his hands.

  "Oh my God!” Sarah said. “They can't be the same ones you took to Maryland. That's impossible.” She bent over to stare at them and blew another bubble. One of the squirrels jumped back.

  Dan slapped the side of his face. “You silly girl. Can't you see it's not impossible? These are the same squirrels. I tell you, it's a fucking miracle. Or maybe they think I'm-a their father. Who knows?” He grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her back a couple of feet. “And don't pop-a the gum like that. You scare the poor things."

  Sarah pulled her elbow out of his hand quickly and stepped back. When Dan sounded like he actually cared about the squirrels, she raised an eyebrow and pressed an index finger to her bottom lip.

  Chance pretended to be concerned: His teeth were clamped together and his eyebrows were pointed down. But on the inside, he was laughing and jumping up and down. Dan was convinced they were the same squirrels. “Where will you take them now?” Chance asked.

  "I have to think about it,” he said. He was scratching the back of his head, staring at the traps. “Maybe they are never going to leave me."

  Later that morning, Dan didn't announce that he was putting them into the back of the truck to take them somewhere far away. He simply shuffled around the deli counter while Chance was slicing turkey breast for Betty Shack, and said, “I set them free behind the barn. Looks like they are gonna be here a long time. Just like you.” He waved his arm and laughed, then crossed through the kitchen and went out the side door, kicking an empty box Chance hadn't moved yet into the alleyway.

  Chance felt that tug in his stomach again when he heard the side door slam shut, followed by a lump in his throat that wouldn't go away no matter how many times swallowed.

  In the late evening, when the market was closed and the shades were down, Dan came downstairs from his nap to check the register. Chance was already naked by then, and he pulled out an aluminum pail and a large sponge so he could scrub the floors on his hands and knees. But Dan slammed the cash drawer shut and pounded his fist on the counter. “No. You don't clean those floors now. You scrub the floors in the morning, after you fill the bowl with the special of the day."

  "But there will be customers here at that time of day,” Chance said.

  "Not that many,” he said, “You do it before the lunch crowd comes in. I want the people to see you scrubbing and to see how clean we are here.” Then he shoved a wad of cash into his back pocket and went back upstairs to sit in his chair and flip TV channels.

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  Chapter Eleven

  Chance made stuffed zucchini on Tuesday morning, with ground pork, chopped spinach, and just a hint of hot sauce to give it that extra something special. Not enough hot sauce to cause anyone discomfort. They wouldn't even know it, and, they'd spend the next two hours after they ate it wondering why his stuffed zucchini didn't taste like theirs. The only time he ever cooked this as his special of the day was when he was extremely depressed, and that's because he disliked zucchini himself. But the customers thought it tasted just as wonderful as his other dishes, and no one would ever have known the missing ingredient that morning was love.

  Brody left for Europe that morning. Chance moved slower than usual. He didn't even bother to go into the barn to check the squirrel cages. Now that the old man was starting to take a fond, sincere interest in the squirrels, all the fun was gone.

  When Sarah came in at nine, she had a huge grin on her face. She'd let Mike have his wish. She'd decided that if he wanted anal sex with her, then she'd take a chance and go for it. “So last night I leaned over the front seat of his truck,” she said, “and let him do it."

  "You did?” Chance asked. For a moment, he pictured her bending over the front seat and spreading her long, white legs apart. Then he shook his head quickly and snapped back to reality.

  "At first it hurt so much I almost pulled the steering wheel off the column. Mike's very thick in the penis department, you know."

  Chance raised his eyebrows and stepped back. “Ah, well..."

  "But once he got
it all the way in and I started to relax a little, it wasn't half bad."

  "Well, there you are,” Chance said. He was pretending to be interested. But he could have lived without this story.

  "And Mike loved it,” she said, “He nailed me so hard I had to soak in a hot tub when I got home last night. I still can't walk right. I had no idea he'd love doing it that much.” She turned to her side and stretched her left leg up and down a few times. She wore tight jeans that day, and black high heels, and the stretching didn't look easy.

  Most men love it, he wanted to say. There's something extremely erotic and sexual about it that makes them beg for more. All he had to do was sit on Brody's lap and Brody would be ready to turn him over and spread his legs as wide as they would go.

  Instead, he said, “It's one of those things that gets better the more you do it."

  "Mike wants me to wear a football jersey next time he pokes me in the ass,” Sarah said.

  Chance almost laughed in her face. But he didn't. Evidently, she wasn't joking.

  The old man had left enough cash in the register, so after Chance checked the drawer he put the open sign out front and then walked behind the deli counter. Mrs. Dolan came in early for a pound of cheese—she was having a few ladies for lunch—but when she saw the stuffed zucchini, she decided to serve that instead of grilled cheese-and-tomato sandwiches. When Betty Shack came in for her daily banana, she pressed her hand to her throat with joy and bought four stuffed zucchini for her freezer. Chance waited on them with a pleasant smile, and he thanked them all for being so kind. But his movements were disconnected, and each smile was so forced it almost hurt his face.

  The rare heat wave had spread across town and seeped into the market.. It was painfully hot and humid for a morning in August in the Lakeland area. There should have been a cool breeze, with a hint of fall in the air. But each time he moved too fast or lifted something slightly heavy, Chance felt beads of sweat form below his hairline. He should have taken out the bucket and sponge to wash the floors but instead he pretended to be busy wiping already clean counters behind the deli case. After that, he turned all the salads over for the second time, just to feel the cool air in the deli case against his face. There were two air conditioners at either end of the market, but Dan refused to use them unless it was absolutely necessary, which meant it had to be so hot inside the market that the chocolate bars next to the cash register began to melt. Chance wouldn't have been surprised if they were melting now.

  When he finally looked at the clock over the deli counter, it was after ten. The old man would be down soon, so he removed his apron and crossed the market to collect the bucket and sponge from the utility closet.

  While he filled the bucket, Dan came down the back stairs with his big shoes crashing against the old wood. He walked past Sarah at the cash register and said nothing. His hands were on his hips and he wasn't smiling. When he reached the utility closet, he shouted, “Hey, you! You should have been scrubbing these floors a half-hour ago."

  "We had a few customers come in early,” Chance said. “I'm just about to start the floors now.” He lifted the heavy bucket of water with both hands. Some of it splashed against his white T-shirt and left wet marks across his stomach. “I'll start in the back of the market and work my way forward."

  Sarah stared at them with a confused expression on her face. She'd never seen Chance wash floors during regular business hours. The old man turned to her and said, “We're gonna have the cleanest floors on the lake around here from now on."

  Chance looked at her and shrugged his shoulders, then went to the back of the store and got down on his hands and knees next to the dairy case. The cold, soapy water felt good against his right arm. He scrubbed in slow, circular motions as drops of sweat fell from his forehead. The old wooden planks were so worn they didn't have a clear finish anymore, and although the bucket of water soon turned dark gray, there were so many chips and stains and marks it didn't even look like Chance had touched them.

  By the time he reached the middle of the market, he was dripping with perspiration and he had a splinter in the palm of his left hand. His right hand got tired at one point, and when he switched to his left, he went against the grain too fast. Then he backed into something near the cash register, and when he turned to see what it was, the slushy, wet sponge landed on a pair of black vinyl loafers attached to thick, white ankles.

  "Hey you,” Dan shouted, “You just got water all over Sister's shoes!” He was so mad his teeth almost slipped out of his mouth, and he had to press two fingers to his upper lip.

  Chance squinted up.. Sure enough, he'd backed right into the nun. She stood there in her navy cardigan and black wool skirt, clutching her rosary with one hand and a box of prunes with the other. “Ah, well, Sister,” he said, “I'm so sorry. I'll get you a clean towel right away.” He lifted his hand to wipe sweat from his brow and got soap in his eyes.

  "Oh dear, young man,” the nun said. “It's only a little water. I think I'll live.” She giggled.

  "Get up and get the towel now,” Dan shouted. Then he turned to the nun and said, “I'm-a so sorry, Sister. If he's ruined your shoes, I'll make him buy you a new pair."

  But the nun didn't have a chance to respond to Dan, because the moment she opened her mouth to speak, a loud, deep voice said, “Here's fifty dollars for the shoes, Sister."

  "Oh, I couldn't take your money, young man. There's no harm done, after all. It was only water.” She lifted the prunes and waved them at the handful of money.

  Chance was still squinting and wiping the burning soap from his eyes so he could see who had offered the nun the money, but the more he wiped the more it burned. He heard Sarah gasp and drop something next to the cash register. Then he heard Dan ask, “What are you doing here?"

  A strong voice replied, “I'm here for Chance."

  Chance froze.

  "He's working for me. You don't come back here again. Get out,” Dan shouted.

  Brody? But Brody was on a plane headed for Europe. How could this be happening? Chance whirled and the entire bucket of dirty water spilled all over the floor he'd just scrubbed. The nun jumped back so fast it looked as if she might take flight, and Sarah hopped up on the counter, letting her black high heels dangle over the sides.

  Dan pressed his hands to his head and shouted, “Now look at what you did. Go get towels and clean up that mess before I fire you for good. No-good loser.” He shook his head and mumbled in Italian, and then he apologized to the nun again, who tsk-tsked when Dan turned away.

  Chance blinked a few times, and when he opened his eyes, it was true: Brody, wearing his full dress officer's uniform. Chance had to blink again to be sure he wasn't imagining this. For a moment it looked more like a flash of pure white light. When he was certain that it was indeed Brody standing there, he opened his mouth to speak—but nothing came out.

  The nun stepped back a few more paces with her hand pressed against her mouth, but if you looked closely, beyond her light mustache, you could see a smile.

  Dan shouted to Brody, “Get out of my market now, or I'm calling the police."

  Brody ignored him. “You're going to live in Europe for a while,” he said to Chance. “Maybe even go to cooking school there, so that one day we can come back and turn that big old house into a real bed and breakfast, like my father intended it to be.” His eyes sparked and he tilted his head to one side. His shoulders looked even wider in the clean white jacket. Chance knew he'd worn this dress uniform to make a statement. Brody was proud of being an officer, and the uniform only made Dan seem more shabby and irrelevant than he already was.

  "Oh, yeah, right,” Dan said, then he shook his head and laughed. “He's not going to any Europe. He's going to clean up this mess and get back to work if he knows what's good for him.” He slammed his fist on the counter so hard Sarah jumped back and gasped.

  Chance looked down at his wet T-shirt and spread his arms out wide. “But I'm a mess."

  "You
look beautiful to me,” Brody said. Then he shoved the old man out of his way with the back of his hand, crossed over to where Chance was standing and leaned forward. He wrapped his arm around Chance's waist, and with one effortless lift, Chance was over his right shoulder.

  When Brody turned to leave, the nun dropped her prunes and grabbed her rosary with both hands. Her eyebrows were raised, but she wasn't frowning. Dan just stood there with his mouth hanging open, pointing his crooked, bent finger at them. By then, Sarah was kneeling on top of the counter, clapping her hands and wiping tears from her eyes.

  And while Chance was smiling and waving goodbye to Sarah, Brody placed his palm on the middle of Chance's ass and he grabbed and squeezed it as hard as he could all the way out the door.

  THE END

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