by Kim Cormack
Kayn bent over and took a moment to just breathe. She knew what was coming at her in a few short moments and her knife was still clutched in her hand. That in itself was a miracle. She scanned her body for bumps. The last thing she needed was a million surprise spiders. She didn’t find anything. It was time to harness her inner badass. She straightened her posture and hollered at the darkness, “Well, come on then! Let’s do this!” A chainsaw rumbled and instead of running in the other direction. She gripped her blade, grimaced and sprinted straight towards the sound. A hooded being ran at her with a rumbling chainsaw in his hand. She kept going against the urge to stop and ran right through him. It was a hologram. She skidded down the end of the hallway and hit the wall, hard enough to smart. The ground slid away and she fell directly onto a startled Kevin. He scrambled to his feet and stood there ready to rumble with a silver dagger in his hand. He wasn’t alone. She could read his expression. He was afraid. She understood what they were going to have to do. They would have to fight and it had to look real. Kayn faced him, with the knife she’d acquired firmly in her grasp. There was the briefest moment of standoff, before he shoved her against the wall and they began to struggle. The next wall slid open and they fell through it. She landed on top of him with her knife poised above his stomach. He nodded, letting her know he was alright with what she had to do. She stared into the eyes of the boy she’d adored since she was five and tried to find the will to do what she knew she was supposed to do. No…this isn’t right. “I can’t do it,” Kayn whispered.
He quietly asserted, “It will make me feel a whole lot better if you stab me first.”
They heard the grinding of walls and they scrambled to their feet. He grabbed ahold of her arm and towed her through the next few sliding walls. When they paused to catch their breath, he said, “If you’re not going to kill me, you have to get out of here. If I get caught helping you, it will just make things worse for me. I can only get out of this place with my clan. I can’t afford to have them all pissed off. Go find your clan Kayn.”
She shoved him and accused, “You were the one that yanked me through the last couple of walls! You could have just left me there!” The walls began to shift again. Kayn sprinted away from him, down the next corridor. He followed her. Ahead of her there was a large part of the floor missing. She ran directly at it, leaping over the missing chunk of corridor. She’d attempted the feat to prove a point but only managed to prove a point to herself. She was trying to show off. She wanted to show him that she wasn’t afraid anymore. Kayn was left dangling over the edge with the tips of her fingers as her only salvation. Kevin made the jump. He hung over the side and grabbed ahold of her wrists, just as she lost her grip. She could hear the rushing sound of water beneath her.
He was struggling to hold on to her as he hollered, “I can’t keep doing this! We can’t keep doing this!”
Kayn stared into his eyes as she replied, “Then let me go!” She slipped down a bit. He grasped a hold of her tighter.
As the wall opened behind them, he said, “Hold your breath.”
She dropped into the water. She’d thought he’d let her go but as she bobbed to the surface of the swiftly moving current, she saw him. He’d jumped into the rapids after her. There were roots and foliage, just out of arms reach, as the force of the rapids took them downstream. There was jungle in this part of the crypt. Kayn swam for the side as she rushed through the current, half expecting the vines to be a hologram but they felt real. She successfully grabbed a hold of one and stretched out her legs into the current attempting to either slow him down or give him something to grab a hold of. The vine tore loose and she was sucked under. The water swirled around her. She swam for the bubbles above her, inhaling a giant breath of air while noticing the waterfall up ahead. There was no time to plot out strategy. “Kevin!” she called out his name trying to warn him as she went over the edge. She dropped at least fifty feet before hitting the water at the bottom as though it were made of concrete.
As she came to Kayn heard the rushing sound of the falls. She opened her eyes and realized that she was behind the waterfall. The water from the falls appeared to be a haunting liquid veil with the green from the jungle visible through it. She felt his presence and turned around. Kevin was sitting against the stone, waiting for her to come to.
He teased, “You’re not supposed to attempt to do a belly flop from that height. I thought everyone knew that little rule of life.”
“Do I hear birds? I swear can hear birds,” she exclaimed,
Kevin was cutting up a piece of what appeared to be some form of fruit with his knife. He handed her a piece. “We’re in the jungle,” Kevin explained. “I have no idea how that’s even possible but we’re here. I took a good look around and there doesn’t appear to be any obvious way out. We could be trapped together for a while.”
As Kayn took a bite of the fruit, it gushed down her chin and she laughed.
Kevin scooted closer to her, wiped off her chin with his hand and returned her smile. Their eyes met and she bit her lip in anticipation. His lips parted and he quickly retreated to where he’d been sitting before, appearing to be conflicted. He got up and offered her his hand with the mystical soundtrack of the waterfall playing in the background. He helped her up and she squeezed his hand lovingly before letting it go.
His eyes softened as he clarified, “We’re making this more difficult than it needs to be. We need to find our clans. We can’t get out of the Testing together. What if we lose our chance to get out of this place, while we’re wasting time messing with fate?”
He was going to walk away and she couldn’t allow him to do that…not again. Kayn grabbed his wrist and stopped him. The look on his face said everything she needed to know. He was fighting against his feelings for her. She urged him closer with a gentle tug.
With raw emotion in his eyes, he cautioned, “Don’t.”
She pushed him just a touch further, “Kiss me goodbye?”
Kevin moved in as he gently caressed her cheek. Visibly in awe of her, he confessed, “I’m always fighting off the urge to count your freckles…Why is that? I can’t even force myself to hurt you. I can’t let go of your hand without jumping in after you. We’re never getting out of here if we don’t stay away from each other. It’s not that I don’t want you. It’s that I can’t.” He took her hand and placed it on his Triad symbol branded on the flesh above his heart.
Kayn traced her finger seductively along the ridges of the mark that would always keep them apart. She missed the boy she’d grown up watching clouds with, almost as much as she missed the way they loved each other. The way he could still love her now, if he allowed himself. She gently kissed him and pulled away, needing to see his reaction.
Emotion caught in his throat as he whispered, “Is this what you want?” He walked her backwards until he had her pressed against the stone. The tension between them rose to a tumultuous peak. He was a breath away from his lips touching hers when he paused.
“I know you want me too,” she provoked as she ran her fingers through his hair and drew his lips the rest of the way to hers. They melted together in an exquisitely seductive dance of tortured souls as he caressed her silken skin in pleasurable places, triggering a reckless abandon that she’d never experienced. She whispered her love for him against his damp hair. He pulled away from her as though she’d just thrown a bucket of ice water on him. Her body was aching from the absence of his touch as she reached out for him.
He blocked her hand and cautioned, “If you keep trying to seduce me Kayn. I’m going to give you exactly what you’re asking me for. I don’t have the strength to keep turning you down.”
“I know you care about me,” Kayn whispered.
Kevin placed his hand against her chest to keep her from coming closer as he said, “Of course I do but the guy you’re in love with is gone. That’s not who I am. I could never be him and survive in Triad. I have to become colder and stronger, to be a leader. The person
I need to be, to survive is the opposite of what you want.”
Kayn knew his words were the truth but it didn’t matter. She couldn’t will herself to stop forcing the issue even though she knew it was stubborn and reckless to keep pressing his buttons like this. She implored, “I hear what you’re saying. I know you’re right but can’t we pretend for a little while longer?”
Kevin groaned, “That’s just it. It’s time to stop pretending that everything hasn’t changed between us. It’s only postponing the inevitable.”
She whispered, “We get to choose our path. We can choose to keep our friendship alive. We can choose to always care about each other.” Kayn kissed his cheek. Kevin stared at her for a second before gently kissing her lips in response. She slipped her fingers into his hair and pulled him closer. She parted her lips, deepening the seduction until every nerve ending in her body was pleading with her to make him keep going.
He feathered seductive kisses on her neck, down her shoulder to her collar bone. She gasped as he breathlessly whispered against her skin, “Do you want me to take you? I can keep going. It won’t make me remember you and it won’t make me love you back.”
He was right. She placed her hand firmly against his chest to signal that he’d made his point. He stepped away from her and it felt like the emotional version of taking the plug out of a bathtub full of water as any hope that had lingered began to funnel down the drain. Why couldn’t she manage to grasp the reality of this? He’d given her the same speech repeatedly. She couldn’t force him to love her back. She couldn’t kiss him into magically remembering what they’d once meant to each other. She was selfishly trying to find shelter from the storm. He was right. Her version of him could never withstand the trials of Triad. That version of Kevin could no longer exist. If she truly had loved him, why would she continue to force him to hurt himself? If she truly loved him, she had to let him go. It’s funny she’d always thought that quote had made no sense. It made perfect sense now…
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he explained. “I have to count on the other Triad to get out of here and they have to feel like they can count on me. I can’t be seen helping the enemy. Stephanie’s already going to go postal on me for jumping in after you back there. I left my own clan to make sure you were safe. I jumped off a cliff with you. I followed you into rapids. I left Patrick and Stephanie standing there wondering, what in the hell I was doing? They need to get out of here. They’re stuck in hell and I ditched them for one more second with you. We need to stay away from each other. In this new life, we can only bring each other pain.”
Kayn said, “You realize that in one breath you say you don’t feel the same way and in the next you act like your feelings for me can’t be controlled with anything but my complete and total absence from your life?”
He touched her arm. Kayn turned to look at him, shook her head and whispered, “Don’t.” They walked out from under the falls in silence. It was time to step out of the past. It was time to take care of the situation at hand. She needed to find a way out of this place. She needed distance from him. Kayn saw what he meant. They were in a mystical looking jungle. A cave above them spouted out the waterfall. Kayn wondered if they’d be forced to go back out the way they’d come into this wonderland. It was a truly miraculous place. After all of that gray her senses were practically sparkling while standing in the lush fragrant vibrantly colored jungle. She had to do something to quiet the part of her that wanted them to be stuck in here. Eventually, he would remember her. Someday, he’d give in to the feelings building between them. They could be happy. Those were childish fantasies. She wasn’t a child anymore. Being happy at the expense of someone else would come with repercussions. They would trap both of their clans in this place forever. They would destroy the people they were meant to stand beside and protect. As Kayn glanced down at the mark on her hand she knew, they weren’t meant to stand beside each other anymore. As much as those words hurt, it was the truth. Every time she was close to Kevin, she wanted to ignore the signs and jump in with both feet. Maybe this was part of her test? She strolled beside him, without words. What do you say to somebody you care for beyond the point of reason? How do you pacify your own ego after someone has given you the same kiss-off speech twenty times? She knew he was only trying to make her understand that what they were, was impossible. Not because he wanted it to be that way, but because it had to be. All hail to the new reigning king of mixed messages. Kevin wandered off in search of the way out. Kayn sat down in the grass in front of a group of beautiful purple orchids. A bumble bee buzzed and tiptoed across the top of one, his legs covered in yellow pollen as he moved on to the next orchid. She reached over to touch the sticky part of the exquisitely beautiful purple flower. Everyone has a sticky center and he was stuck in hers. She allowed her inner Chloe to pick the orchid and smell it. She smiled as she tossed it into the water and watched it drift away. She heard a rustling sound and glanced up.
Kevin sat down beside her and said, “I don’t want to keep hurting you.”
“I know you don’t,” Kayn replied. “I should have listened the first dozen times you gave me that speech.”
He tugged another flower out of the ground and passed it to her. It was a fitting gesture. He’d given her a purple flower the day they met and he was giving her one now. This was really goodbye.
She hesitated before taking it, so he tucked it behind her ear as he questioned, “What would we do in these fantasies of yours? See each other once or twice a year and be forced to fight? Maybe, we’d sneak away from our clans and steal a kiss or have sex in a closet? It wouldn’t be romantic. It would be torture. You would spend every single day aching to be with me. I’m a guy. If I slept with you it would make things easier for me. Question answered and territory conquered. It’s not going to be about anything more than that for me because I’m not the same person.”
Kayn couldn’t help herself, she started to giggle. She teased, “Don’t sugar coat it or anything.”
Kevin grinned and retaliated, “I can see how we would have been best friends though. Everything about you is appealing. You are so weird. You have a warped sense of humor. Your hair always looks messy and I swear, I’ve never seen you without dirt on your face. I don’t even know how you do it. We just got out of the water.”
Suddenly concerned, Kayn questioned, “Is there actually dirt on my face right now?”
Kevin reached over and wiped the streak of dirt off her cheek with his thumb. Determined to be strong, Kayn closed her eyes as he touched her and opened them without a tear. It was time to let go. He was right. The all-humiliation Kayn channel was once again stuck on the same damn episode. Kevin Dumps Kayn. It’s a good show. She’d seen it countless times now and she just kept pressing play, didn’t she? She felt ridiculous as she glanced back at him and he winked at her. She removed the flower from her hair and methodically plucked every second petal off. He’d hung out with her and flirted with her because he wanted to get her into bed. He hadn’t gone through with it because he still had a glimmer of instinct to protect her. That was all it had been. She could have sworn he had real feelings for her. She had read so much between the lines and only allowed herself to hear what she wanted to hear. This time she had heard him loud and clear. She had to get back to her clan. She had to find Melody and Zach. Kayn stood up and tossed the flower into the water. It drifted beside the other one for a second before the current pulled them apart. She shut her eyes and thought, be strong, be brave. You’ve battled spiders and won. You are a badass. She spun around and declared, “Let’s get out of here.”
Kevin grinned and agreed with her, “Sounds like a plan.”
Kayn recalled something from her watery grave. What if the answer was simple? She glanced down at the base of the waterfall right where it funneled under the surface. They’d have to swim underwater for the way out. She could feel it. Would she be showing him where Ankh’s secret crypts were hidden in the real world by telling him about sw
imming under the waterfall? Kayn said, “There’s an entrance above the falls. What if the exit is below the falls?”
“You mean underwater?” Kevin clarified.
“It would be the most inconvenient place for one to be.” Kayn stated, “That is kind of how this place works.”
A toucan flew past them and Kayn smiled, “You brought the Fruit Loops toucan on your rescue attempt, how adorable.”
Kevin cracked a smile while probing, “Fruit Loops toucan? What are you talking about?”
“From the cereal box,” she explained. “We ate a lot of it, when we were kids.” She stopped cold and said, “Never mind, it’s not important.”
“When we all get out of this place I’ll try some and think of you.” He assured as he walked into the water.
She replied, “I hope both of our clans make it out of here so you can.”
“I hope your clan makes it out too,” Kevin replied.
They waded out to the ledge of the drop off and swam out to the falls. The closer they came to the falls the less they could see from the mist on the surface. She took one last look at him before diving under and swimming into the current at the bottom of the falls. It sucked her in and she bobbed up inside a pool in the cave, without him. Kayn swam to the rock and pulled herself up on the ledge. She sat there for a minute, waiting for him. What was she waiting for? It was time to part ways. Kayn stood up and walked towards the rock face. It appeared to be easy to climb. She grabbed the stone, gripping it with her fingers, she hoisted herself up. Kayn didn’t look back until she reached the opening to another dark cavern at the top. She glanced back… He still wasn’t there. She stepped into the cave. Beneath her feet was soft silky sand instead of hard cold stone. She drew herself a symbolic line and stepped over it.