In a weak voice Cody tells Logan, “I like Laura, she showded me how to make a necklace. She told me she was going to make me a man’s necklace. Isn’t that so cool Daddy…don’t feel good.” With that Cody throws up all over Logan.
I stare. It’s blue. I brace for Logan’s anger. He’s probably pissed off that I gave him two blue ice pops. I cringe thinking maybe I shouldn’t have pushed his luck and only given him one, no matter how cute he looked when asking for another.
Instead of getting mad he shushes a crying Cody telling him it’s all right. Logan starts to head for the door to leave and for some insane reason I stop him.
“Wait,” I extend my arms to take Cody from Logan. “Get cleaned up first, that way when you get home you can just take care of Cody.” I reach my hands out and take a crying Cody from a dripping Logan. Cody snuggles into me and stops crying. I hold in my gag, because let’s face it. As cute as Cody is. Vomit is vomit.
I place Cody on my couch and take his shirt off gently. He remained clean, can’t say so much for Logan, but I wanted to change his shirt regardless, even though it only had a few drips of blue on it. I didn’t want him to stay in a soiled shirt.
Quickly I run to my room and grab my smallest baby doll tee shirt I can find to put on Cody. It’s purple and say’s ‘tough cookie.’ But whatever, it will work until Cody can get home and in his pajamas. I wipe his face with a wet cloth, getting him comfortable on the couch. The fat cat jumps up and snuggles into Cody who starts to pet her gently. Once I see Cody will be alright for a few minutes, I decide to go and help Logan who told me he was just going to clean up in the bathroom.
I knock on the bathroom door and Logan opens it. Shirtless.
I stare.
Seriously, what else could I do?
Wow.
A nun would have stared. She would have asked God for forgiveness for her momentary transgression, but she would have stared.
That’s how beautiful Logan’s body is.
Logan clears his throat and I look up at his knowing smirk. I quickly hand him my oversized man’s tee shirt that I bought to sleep in. It has been washed over a million times (well again, I’m exaggerating a little) so its super soft, and I love it. But it’s the only thing that will fit Logan and I felt bad sending him home with puke all over him, even if it is just up the road.
“Thanks. I’ll get it back to you.” I turn to walk away.
“Laura.” I stop and turn around.
In a gently voice that I think melted my panties, Logan say’s, “I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you took care of Cody today. Thank you darlin’.”
I give Logan a weak smile and walk away to see how Cody is. He’s fast asleep on the couch with Mrs. Chubbywubby Pants sleeping at his side.
I feel rather than see Logan standing behind me. Thankfully Cody didn’t have much in his stomach so the only thing to clean was Logan.
“I should get him home.”
Without taking my eyes off his son I whisper, “Yeah. He’s a good kid. I hope he feels better.”
Logan gently lifts a sleeping Cody and lays him on his wide chest, a chest that seems can carry a lot of burdens, maybe the weight of the world. I realize I’m staring at his chest again, but pretend that I am just looking at a sleeping Cody.
I quickly ask, “Do you have Tylenol? I mean can Cody have Tylenol?”
“Yeah, he can have it. Zoe can watch him for a few minutes while I go and get it for him.”
“Wait.” I rush to the bathroom and find the Tylenol. I grab a teddy bear and heart shaped ice pack that gets cold when you just throw it in the freezer for a bit. Then I rush to my freezer and grab a few ice pops. After putting this all in a bag I bring it to Logan.
“Now you don’t have to go out. The box isn’t even opened yet.” The sadness is evident in my eyes, but thankfully Logan doesn’t comment.
“Thanks honey.” He continues to stare at me for a minute.
Cody then say’s a groggy, “Laura.”
“Yeah honey?” I ask while gently brushing the hair back from his forehead.
“I had fun today, even though I don’t fewl good.”
“That’s great honey, I had fun too. We’ll do it again, except without you feeling yucky. OK?”
“Kay. I have to show you my cowboy hat.” Then Cody lays his head back on Logan worn out.
I get even closer and put my hand on Cody’s back and smile at him. Cody’s eyes are closing and he burrows closer to into his Dad. Never thought I’d be jealous of a little boy, but right now I’d love to be snuggling into Logan.
Logan smiles down at his son, and then turns heated eyes on me. I feel my knees go weak from the look he is giving me. I decide not read anything into this. He’s just grateful that I was able to take care of his son.
“Later darlin’’. And thank you.” Logan then turns and carries his son to his truck. Gently placing Cody inside his car seat, he rounds the hood get’s in and drives up the way to his house. I go inside and close my door, leaning against it, breathing in deeply.
No panic attacks. I had a little boy here for hours and I held it together. I had Logan here shirtless and didn’t attack him either. Two things to be proud of.
I lean my head against the door and replay the day, especially the last half hour. Logan shirtless, Cody adorable (unfortunately sick) but none-the-less adorable. And I even got called a few honeys and darlin’s. I never was one to like pet names, but the way they sound coming from Logan’s gravelly voice makes me want to melt (which has nothing to do with the Texas heat!).
I take out the Lysol and spray down the cottage, opening the windows, even though it is letting out precious cool air. After I am sure the house smells clean and vomit free I close the windows and crank up the air.
Mrs. Chubbywubby Meowy Pants gives me a narrow eyed glare, almost like she’s pissed I lowered the temperature in the house. Well, for a fat cat that used to live outside she has a lot of nerve. I think I may call her Mrs. Cranky Pants instead.
Chapter Ten
Born Again Virgin
“My house has now been christened!” I say to Jenny.
“Oh My God! You…..you Mrs. ‘who needs a penis in her life anyway’…you really, you did it? You had sex already! It’s been years. Who was it? I thought you gave up men. I thought scientists were going to claim you the only born again virgin. Wait it was with a man right? I know you pledged your allegiance to your vibrator…..” Jenny was babbling.
I felt bad. I couldn’t string her along any longer.
“Why Jenny does your mind always go to sex?” I tease. “When I say my house was Christened I meant someone threw up in it.”
“Ewwww.” Jenny say’s her voice obviously deflated.
“Sorry for teasing. I have had a crazy day.” I tell Jenny everything, from signing Cody out of school to giving Logan my sleep shirt. I even tell her about the ‘honeys’ and ‘darlin’s’.
“I have to say, even though your house wasn’t christened the way I thought. You sound happier, lighter. And don’t you dare shut down because I said that.” Jenny quickly amends.
“You deserve to be happy, to live. There’s a reason you’re still alive. As you know, and sorry honey, not to bring up anything that you’re not always thinking of but life is too short. Live yours. I know it hurts, and I know you miss them, but you can’t spend your life only dwelling on what you lost. You have to find something for yourself, make it yours, something more to live for. Maybe it’s this Logan guy. Maybe not. But know it’s ok to be happy and more important, it’s ok for you to live.”
I stay silent, tears brimming my eyes about to slide down my cheeks, letting Jenny’s words soak in.
I hear Jenny take in a deep breath then whisper, “I pushed it, I went to far didn’t I?”
After clearing my throat and pushing the threatening tears back I answer honestly, “No Jenny, you’re right. And after first being a little freaked about having Cody here, I liked it. I’ve alienat
ed myself from people for so long, afraid to get close. Just today was nice, except for the throw up and Cody being sick part. I liked feeling like I was doing something good, helping.”
“You always do good, Laura. I’m going to try to plan a long weekend to come see your new place, and meet your cowboy.” Jenny giggles.
“I’d love that. But don’t get your hopes up, he’s not my cowboy. He was just being nice to me now because I took care of his son. For all I know he could be engaged to some hot chick.”
I would love to see Jenny. I miss her, she would love it here. I bet she wouldn’t even mind the heat…that much. Plus I need to find out more about this new mysterious man in her life.
After we hang up, I decide that since it’s still early in the evening I should take a walk. I quickly change my clothes to a pair of cut off denim shorts, and a lavender tank top. I re-lather sun lotion all over. Even though the sun will be setting soon, it’s still hot which means it could still burn me.
I decide to walk towards the ranch. The property is big enough that I won’t be obvious. I know Logan has his hands full, and I am not looking for another encounter (am I?).
I slowly make it to the side of the ranch where I notice the large barn is situated. There are a lot of horses around. Some are grazing, some in a fenced in area being trained. As I take in my surroundings I am thankful that I brought a bottle of water.
As I suck down gulps of much needed water, I peer at the horses galloping around. They are huge. I don’t understand how anyone would voluntarily get on top of one of these large, (but admittingly beautiful) beasts.
Quietly I take it all in while standing by the side of a large brown barn.
To the far right is Logan’s house. If one would insult it by just calling it a house. It looks like a log cabin on steroids. It’s beautiful. Large windows come up to the eave of the house promising breathtaking views. I bet from the size of the windows that they provide enough natural light to light up the entire house. It looks like there are three stories to this log mini mansion.
While taking in the ranch around me it’s as though the book of “Texas Beautiful Log Homes” picked this site, built this house and said, “Here it is, perfection in a log cabin, on the perfect ranch. And let’s not forget the perfect looking cowboy and adorable son. Oh, and we’ll add a flowing stream to add to the ambience.” I chuckle to myself.
I lean against the tree I am standing next to and stare longingly at the hanging swing on the front porch, wishing I was sitting on it (with Logan). Just then the front door opens. I gasp and take a step back hoping to blend in further with the scenery, or just become one with the tree. Oh my god, I feel like a creepy stalker. The sun is beginning to set as dusk is approaching, so I hope I am successful with being camouflaged.
I can’t pull my eyes away from the scene at the door. A beautiful woman is leaving. She has long blonde hair, a perfect thin model body. She is almost Logan’s height which put’s her inches taller than me.
What makes my heart beat a little faster, yet break a little at the same time (although I don’t quite understand why, nor do I want to contemplate why) is that she hugs him.
I don’t want to see where this hug leads, so I turn around and start to walk back to my cottage. Of course he has a girlfriend. I am just surprised during Cody’s non stop information session today on our walk home this didn’t come up, say during one of our four thousand conversations.
Logan’s girlfriend seemed to be beautiful, at least what I was able to see. Logan wouldn’t want me. I have curves, some men like them, but obviously Logan is more into the stick thin model type. Which I certainly am not. I don’t care anyway. Maybe if I keep thinking that, eventually my heart will believe it too.
**********
While walking back to my cottage I decide to walk along the stream. I am at the halfway point away from Logan’s cabin, to my cottage when I notice a frail old woman sitting on a beautiful wood bench that blends in with the scenery.
“Hello.” I say kindly, yet hesitantly to the woman. Hoping that she is real and not that my mind is now conjuring up people to talk to. Or that it’s so hot I’m starting to see a mirage of a person.
“Hello dear. You must be Laura.”
Ahh….she is real. Or my mirage can speak and knows my name. Whatever.
“Yes, but now you have me at a loss.” I respond while walking closer.
“Oh dear, I’m Zoe. Logan’s Aunt, Cody’s Great Aunt.”
Of course she is, who else would be sitting on a bench on their property. I need to get my head on straight, “Oh, I’ve heard a lot of great things about you.” (I kind of lie, Cody say’s she’s really nice but, his words, old.)
“That would be my Cody, he has such a sweet heart. And I mean that, not a bad bone in that little body of his.”
I smile at Zoe, she has one of those older bodies that the skin doesn’t quite fit anymore. The soft look on her face makes me want to sit and talk with her.
“I just wish I were twenty years younger so I could help out my nephew more. That little Cody has more energy than that pink bunny I see on the commercials.”
I laugh, “Yeah, he was a little sick today, but still was able to talk my ear off.”
Zoe smiles back at me and then pat’s the seat next to her on the bench, “Sit dear, take a load off.”
I decide to take her up on her offer; it will be nice to have an adult conversation before I shut myself in my cottage for the night.
“How do you like it here so far?” Zoe asks while studying me. Her eyes are old, like she’s lived a full life, seen many things, but they are still sharp and aware.
“It’s absolutely beautiful. I can’t believe when I look around that I actually live here now.”
Zoe puts her soft hand over mine and say’s quietly, “I hope the beauty that surrounds you can take some of that sorrow from your eyes my dear.”
I look at Zoe astonished. I thought I was hiding it pretty well. “Don’t look so shocked my dear, I’m an old woman, and I have been around and seen many, many things. I know sadness when I see it.”
I look to the ground. It’s then Zoe squeezes my hand compassionately. I don’t pull away, I am actually comforted by the feel of her soft skin. Skin that is too large for her frail structure so it hangs. It reminds me of my grandma. I was young when my grandparents all passed away. But I still remember sitting on my grandma’s lap playing with the skin on her hand. Remembering how soft it was and amazed how it felt.
“You may think this is just a crazy old woman talking to you, but you have love all around you. It’s like you have guardian angels looking after you. ”
I gently smile at Zoe, she is obviously not all there in her mind. Or maybe it’s just the heat getting to her too. I just continue to smile at her and then look towards the stream.
I start to talk while staring at the stream. The water flowing, the grass around, flowers dotting the area. Lost in my own thoughts and not quite realizing I am saying the words out loud, I quietly whisper, “I hope so. Sometimes I feel so damn alone. Like nothing will be right again.”
Zoe surprises me by saying, “Logan seems to have nothing but nice things to say about you. He gets a faraway look in his eye when talking about you that makes my old soul feel good.”
I look at Zoe and give her a half a smile. “That’s because I took care of Cody today, it was a set of very weird circumstances. I was just at the right place at the right time.” I start to dig my foot into the dirt at my feet, daring to hope Zoe is right and Logan does feel something for me.
“You tell yourself that my dear. But this old woman can tell when my nephew is happy. It’s been a very long time since I have seen that light in his eyes. And you my dear turned it back on.”
After a few minutes I smile gently at Zoe, taking in what she said. Yet not wanting to read too much into it. She really must be delusional since Logan has a girlfriend, for crying out loud.
“It was nice meeting yo
u, but before the coyotes come out and eat me, I’d like to get back inside. Would you like me to walk you back home?” I offer.
“No, go on dear, I’m good here for a few minutes, it’s nice to be able to come outside. I can’t seem to do it in the heat of the day. Dusk is upon us and I am going to sit here and soak it up.”
“Alright, nice meeting you Zoe, hope to see you soon. Be careful getting back.”
“You too child.”
Chapter Eleven
Knocked Out
I just got off the phone with Jenny. After quite a few probing questions, I finally got her to talk a little about the guy she’s dating. Finally questioning why she was keeping it from me, I understood when she told me that she felt it was too soon in the relationship to say anything. She hasn’t had the best of luck with relationships either.
Jenny has been cheated on, lied to and found more than her share of “Mama’s Boy’s.” Not that there is anything wrong with a man loving his Mom, but when you reach a certain age, it’s time to cut the cord a little. Her stories make me laugh, and unfortunately for her they’re not fabricated.
Once one of her dates took her out to dinner, but before he ordered he had to check in with his Mom, and to make matters worse, he had asked his Mom what he should order. I would have ended the date right there, but Jenny has a heart of gold. When they were done, yup, had to call his Mom. That date didn’t go any further than the restaurant.
Or when another guy she was dating took her home after a nice date. Jenny thought he was great, that was until they went to “his house” opened the door and his parents were in the living room. He proceeded to sit in the only armchair, leaving the only space available to sit was in between his parents, on the couch. They all proceeded to sit watching a movie. Now that was hysterical. Jenny was too nice to just leave, so she wound up watching the movie sitting smack dab in between his parents.
Jenny is twenty six years old and her dates are always her age if not a few years older. One of her life rules is to never date a younger man. So as you can see, this is definitely a problem if that man is still living with his parents.
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