by Lisa Jordan
“I’m sorry, Nat. That’s tough.”
She nodded. “Yes, it is, but he’s alive. That’s the important thing.”
“You said ‘temporarily.’ Once your dad returns to work, are you leaving?”
Nat lifted a shoulder and sighed. “No. My address is still in New York—I’ve been renting a cottage from my aunt, but now that your family is invested in this service dog project, I’ll be looking for a place here for Aidan and me to live. I’ve been helping Mom and Dad, but we can’t stay here forever. Aidan will begin kindergarten at Shelby Lake Elementary in a few weeks.”
“So it looks like we’re both trying to figure out our permanent places in life. You listed your conditions, so I’d like to add one of my own. Beginning today, anything involving Aidan needs to be discussed before a decision is made. I want equal say in his health care, education, everything. That way, we’re both on the same page.”
“That sounds fair.” She placed a hand on his forearm, her soft touch warm against his skin. “Evan, again, I’m sorry. I did it to protect my son.”
Aidan’s laughter traveled across the grass from where he sat in the play yard getting licked by Petey. Evan pulled his attention back to Natalie. “Our son. I appreciate the apology, Nat, but I gotta be honest—I’m still struggling with the reason why. You say you did it for Aidan—I can’t help wondering if you did it more to protect yourself.”
Chapter Four
Sleeping on it was supposed to give Natalie a fresh perspective.
At least that was the advice her father had offered her so many times through the years when she’d wrestled with a problem.
But from the moment Evan returned home, her perspective had been chased away by memories that refused to be leashed—memories she tried so hard to keep locked away because they were too painful.
Why did Evan have to come home anyway?
Everything was going well until he showed up.
Wasn’t it?
Even though she tried to keep her fears and anxieties from interfering with her daily living, putting on a happy face for others was exhausting.
And now with Evan back in the picture, her carefully constructed life had been shredded like the cheap dog toy that Daisy, one of the cocker spaniels at Canine Companions—Zoe Sullivan’s rescue shelter—had dropped at Natalie’s feet before settling into her lap.
Evan kept asking questions she wasn’t ready to answer.
Sitting on the sun-warmed grass inside the gated play yard at the newly expanded Canine Companions Rescue Shelter, Natalie longed to lean back on her arms, lift her face to the midmorning sun, breathe in the clean air and know everything would work out.
But she wasn’t wired that way.
And life proved way too often that things didn’t always work out.
Instead of spiraling down into a funk, Natalie rested her arm over Daisy, who was nestled her in lap. They sat beneath the shade tree along with Zoe, her father and Evan. She tried to focus on what Zoe was sharing about the fostering component of the service dog project.
With Evan sitting close enough for her to smell his soap and feel the occasional brush of his arm against hers, she struggled to pay attention.
“Natalie.” Dad, sitting in a lawn chair on the other side of her, snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Zoe’s asked you the same question twice.”
Heat warmed her cheeks. “Sorry, Zoe. I was thinking about something else.”
“You did look like you were in your own world.” Her friend smiled, flicking her chestnut-brown ponytail over her shoulder. “Would you prefer working with a puppy or one of the surrendered dogs we determined to be a good fit for the project?”
“I’ll take Daisy. Her sweet eyes get to me every time.” Natalie cupped her hand under the dog’s chin and rubbed a gentle hand over her butterscotch-colored muzzle.
“Great choice. What about you, Evan?”
“I’ll take Toby. He’s getting along well with River already.” He patted the two-year-old black Lab lying next to River and resting his head on Evan’s leg.
“Excellent. They’re both great dogs. Daisy’s owner moved into a retirement community that doesn’t allow pets. Toby was brought into the shelter a few months ago after being found behind a dumpster. He was full of fleas and had a few cuts and scrapes. He’s looking to be loved.”
Zoe handed each of them a folder. “This is more information about our fostering program. Read through it, write down any questions you may have, and we’ll meet again on Friday to begin our first class. Then you can take the dogs home with you, and care for and socialize them over the next three months. After that, we’ll re-evaluate. If you’d like to continue with the project, we’ll move you into the next phase. In the meantime, get your homes set up for another dog. Any questions?”
Even though she was perfectly content to sit in the shade for the rest of the afternoon with Daisy napping in her lap, Natalie rousted the drowsy dog so she could stand. She brushed grass off the back of her shorts. “What happens once they finish the fostering phase?”
“We will match them with one of the veterans in the Fatigues to Farming program who qualify for a service dog and transition the training to happen between the dog and its permanent owner.” Zoe picked up a worn tennis ball one of the dogs had dropped at her feet and tossed it toward the back of the yard.
Toby’s head shot up. He jumped to his feet and bounded after the ball.
Evan stood, reached for River’s leash, then waved a hand over the dogs. “What happens if either dog doesn’t work out for the next phase of the project?”
“Because you’re the foster parents, you or Natalie will be given first choice at adoption. If that doesn’t work out, then the dog will return to us to be adopted by another family.”
The idea of giving Daisy up twisted Natalie’s heart. Even though she’d just met her, she felt a connection. She knew the pain of losing everything and starting over. Life needed to be more than temporary. They needed forever homes.
After concluding their meeting, Natalie reluctantly returned Daisy to Zoe’s care and pulled her keys out of her front pocket.
Evan touched her elbow, his warm fingers barely a caress against her skin, and leaned in close. “Hey, mind meeting me at Joe’s Diner? There’s something I’d like to show you.”
Her fingers tightened around her keys. He probably wanted to ask more questions she wasn’t ready to answer.
Needing a break from Evan’s presence, she tried to muster her most apologetic look. “Sorry, I can’t. I need to drop Dad off, pick up Aidan from Willow’s, then get back to help walk the dogs we’re boarding this week.”
Although Evan kept a smile in place, a muscle in the side of his jaw tightened. He shoved his hand in the front pocket of his olive green shorts and gave her a nod. “Some other time, then.”
After talking to Zoe, her father folded his chair and walked over to them with it under his arm. “Some other time for what?”
Before she could say anything, Evan repeated their conversation.
Dad removed his baseball hat and scratched the top of his hat. “Nonsense. Natalie, drop me off at the house and call Willow to see if she can keep Aidan a little longer.”
Was that a smug look on Evan’s face as he opened the passenger door of his truck for River to jump up into?
Natalie and her father headed back to her SUV, and as soon as he had snapped his seat belt into place, Natalie turned to him. “Dad, why are you doing this?”
He frowned. “Doing what?”
“Pushing Evan and me together.”
He feigned an innocent look that didn’t contain the slight smile edging at the corners of his mouth. “I’m doing nothing of the sort.”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
“Natalie Grace, Evan’s a very good man,
and you know it. You’re just too blind to your own pain to see it. You need someone strong like him in your life.”
“I have you.”
He rubbed his forehead, looking weary. “I’m not the man I used to be. The heart attack took a lot out of me.”
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel, remembering her mother’s frantic phone call from inside the ambulance as they transported her barely conscious father to the emergency room. She’d never forget the hours and the waiting and the pacing until they learned he’d barely survived the emergency double bypass surgery.
Natalie reached over and touched her father’s shoulder. “You’re still a strong man on the inside, and you’ll get your strength back.”
He had to.
She couldn’t imagine life without him.
After dropping off her dad back at the house and calling Willow to keep Aidan a little longer, Nat pulled into the parking lot in front of Joe’s Diner. The climbing heat blasted her as she stepped out of her air-conditioned car.
She headed into Joe’s, greeted by the scents of grilled burgers and fresh coffee. Pausing at the door and giving her eyes a moment to adjust to the change in lighting, she scanned the recently remodeled dining room for Evan.
Spying him, she strode past the counter, where sounds from the kitchen filtered through and mingled with chatter from the diners. She slid into the booth across from Evan. He was bent over papers spread out on the table and River was curled up at his feet, away from the flow of traffic.
“Hey.”
He looked up and gave her a smile that sent her heart crashing into her rib cage. “Hey, yourself. I’m glad you came.”
“Not sure I had much choice.”
He frowned. “Of course you did. Life is all about making choices.”
“That sounds like something from a fortune cookie.” Knowing she needed to show she was trying, she folded her arms on the table and looked at him. “Would you like to come over this evening and hang out? Get to know Aidan a little more? We could make root beer floats.”
“Sure, that sounds great.” He shot her another grin, then turned a colorful brochure around so she could see what he was reading. “What do you think about this?”
Before she could respond, a server approached to take their drink order. Evan looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “Nat?”
“Just iced tea for me, please.”
“Same for me. And a plate of Joe’s garbage fries to share.”
The thought of Joe’s garbage fries smothered in his homemade chili and piled with melted cheddar made her mouth water, although consuming them offered little grace to her waistline.
The server smiled and slid her notepad in the front pocket of her apron. “Great. I’ll have those out to you right away.”
Natalie turned her attention to the front of the brochure that advertised a company specializing in prefabricated houses. They showcased a gorgeous two-story home with an attached garage, a wide covered front porch and a beautifully landscaped yard with a poured sidewalk curving to the concrete driveway. The sage-green siding with chestnut-brown shutters and twin dormers gave the house a refined elegance. She looked up to find Evan watching her. “It’s beautiful.”
Evan leaned across the table and opened the brochure. “Check out this floor plan. Vaulted foyer with high ceilings, an open kitchen with an island and a separate dining nook, a living room with a stone fireplace, another living space with French doors that could be a playroom, home office or a family room. On the second floor, there’s a master suite, plus two more bedrooms, a second bathroom and a laundry room.”
“Like I said, it’s gorgeous. But why are you showing this to me?”
Evan settled back into the corner of the booth, leaning a shoulder against the wall. “Because if you approve, then I’m going to buy it and have it built on my property to live in.”
“Why do you need my approval?”
“Because we agreed all decisions about Aidan would be made together. I’m hoping this will ease your anxieties a little.” Evan’s quiet words caught her attention.
She glanced up from the brochure and her gaze tangled with his. Was that vulnerability in his blue eyes?
“I’m touched by your willingness to get my approval in spite of...well, you know. The house is perfect, Evan. In fact...” Her voice trailed off as she returned her attention to the pictures inviting her to spend more time in the rooms.
“What?”
“It’s the kind of house I’ve always dreamed of living in someday.”
What if she hadn’t pushed Evan away all those years ago? What if she had trusted him to be the keeper of her secrets and protector of her heart? What if she had allowed herself to lean on someone other than her parents?
If she had, would they have had this house already, filling it with children they had planned on having?
Well, that wasn’t the case for them.
Because she had pushed Evan away. And kept his son from him.
And after what she’d done, he couldn’t forgive her.
Without forgiveness, they couldn’t have a fresh start.
No, this beautiful home would be a great place for Evan and Aidan, with no place for her.
Once again, she’d be on the outside looking in because her fears held her back.
* * *
Evan didn’t belong here.
He’d spent countless times in the Bishops’ cozy living room with two identical red reclining couches separated by a heavy rectangular coffee table, walls painted the color of vintage paper and a stone fireplace flanked by built-in bookcases.
He’d never felt as uncomfortable as he did this evening.
He’d rather be outside or at the kennel assisting with the dogs. This was the first time he’d spent any length of time in the living room since Ben’s death.
Dressed in a white cover and navy Marine Corp blues blouse, Ben’s solemn face in his boot camp picture stared at him from the mantel. The framed photo sat next to the folded American flag in the polished oak case given to his parents at his funeral with full military honors.
Another life-changing moment in Evan’s life.
But, despite the tornado that had ravaged his family’s farm and killed his mother, losing his best friend, breaking up with the woman he loved and now his shoulder injury, nothing compared to learning he was a father.
To a kid who didn’t know him.
At the diner earlier in the afternoon, Nat had invited him over after dinner to visit for a while to get to know Aidan.
But Aidan didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get to know him.
When Evan arrived, Aidan had treated him like any other visitor, which made Evan wonder if Natalie had told their son about him yet.
Multicolored building blocks, toy cars and plastic animals had been dumped in the corner of the living room between the unlit fireplace and one of the couches. Aidan connected tiny bricks together, constructing a bridge to go over a figure-eight racetrack. His hair flopped onto his forehead. Focused on his task, he bit the corner of his lip.
The same way Evan did when he was writing paddling articles.
Coach reclined at the other end of the opposite couch with reading glasses on his nose and a dog magazine in his hands, even though he hadn’t turned a page in ten minutes. His chest rose and fell rhythmically as gentle snores drifted across the room.
Natalie entered through the arched doorway between the living room and dining room, carrying a plate of chocolate chip cookies, which she set on the coffee table. “You two almost ready to make root beer floats?”
“After I finish my bridge.”
She removed the magazine from Coach’s hands and draped a cream-colored knitted blanket over him.
Evan slid off the cushion and rested his back against the couch. He picked up a plastic zebra lyin
g on its side next to the racetrack. He turned it over and over in his fingers. “Hey, Aidan, have you been to a zoo?”
Aidan looked up from his construction zone, glanced at his mother, then looked back at Evan and nodded. “Mom took me last year. I rode a pony and got my picture taken inside a gorilla.”
“Inside a gorilla, you say?” Evan grinned and shot a look at Nat.
“Uh-huh. Then we rode the merry-go-round. Mom, show him the picture of me inside the gorilla.”
“Sure, honey.” Natalie crossed the living room to one of the built-in bookcases and removed a thick blue book. She motioned for Evan to follow her.
Evan pushed to his feet and followed her through the dining room and into the gray-and-white kitchen that smelled faintly of vanilla and sugar as if someone had baked recently.
She placed the book on the island and pulled out a counter stool. “Have a seat. Want some coffee?”
He held up a hand. “I’m fine, thanks.”
She slid the other stool out, putting a little distance between them, and picked up the padded book. “I have a confession. I wasn’t quite sure how today would go, so I haven’t told Aidan who you are yet.”
Fighting the frustration welling in his chest, Evan heaved a sigh and raised an eyebrow.
Pink stained Natalie’s cheeks as she traced the gold foil around the edge of the cover.
He tried to be patient and understanding and see things from her point of view, but, man, she’d had five years to tell Aidan who his father was. What was she waiting for?
Sure, she needed to protect Aidan, but what did she think Evan was going to do? Take off with him?
She set the book on the counter and pushed it toward him. “This is a scrapbook my aunt made of Aidan’s first five years. I want you to have it.”
He shot her a surprised look, then opened the cover and stared at the tiny infant with a scrunched-up face wrapped in a blue blanket covered in yellow stars. Even with his eyes closed, the baby’s dark hair and the set of his chin reminded Evan of the photograph hanging in the farmhouse living room—a picture of Evan as an infant.