by Zoe Chant
She was standing in the back of the bar, arms folded across her bountiful breasts. The royal blue sundress swished around her knees and left her perfect shoulders bare. She was still tucked into herself, like she was trying to hold herself in, but Travis thought her gaze was steadier, more sure. The sun was beginning its evening plunge into the sea, and the color of the light made her glow
He was warring with himself, trying to decide if it was better to give her space or give in to Lynx’s desire to pounce now, while she was within reach.
Scarlet’s sigh of disgust as she rose made Travis look around at her in embarrassment.
“There’s no rush on any of those improvements,” she told him with a single raised eyebrow, and then she clicked away in her short heels towards the back entrance, giving Jenny a brief nod of greeting as they passed.
Then his mate was strolling towards him, and Travis felt his breath stop at the beauty of her grace.
Chapter 12
Jenny told herself she wasn’t going to the bar to find Travis, she was going to find Laura, but she somehow wasn’t surprised or disappointed to find him instead of her.
He was sitting with Scarlet in the setting sun, looking at a brochure spread out between them. The sunset colors made the owner’s hair look like it was aflame, but Jenny was captured by Travis, looking seriously over the map. His face was drawn into concentration, and while she watched, he dragged a hand through his short, tousled hair. The play of golden light over his muscles made Jenny draw in a breath and fold her arms tighter across her chest.
Then he looked up, and the way his face lit up hit Jenny in the gut.
Whether she was ready or not, whether she deserved him or not, they were destined for each other. This was the man she was perfectly made for.
And it terrified her.
She made herself unclench her fists, glad at least that she and Gizelle had practiced shifting until she could be human without webbed fingers. The claws were still there, and the pointed teeth, and one of the practice shifts she’d had stiff whiskers protruding from her cheeks. But she knew that Travis wouldn’t care about that, and it was oddly comforting to know.
Scarlet rose then, and passed Jenny with a cool nod of greeting, leaving them alone on the deck above the pool.
Jenny made her feet move, and her otter was wriggling in delight as they closed the distance to their mate.
He stood as she approached, and Jenny had to tip her head back to look up into his face.
“I wondered if you’d like to… take a walk.”
It wasn’t what her otter wanted to suggest, but it was a step Jenny was willing to make.
Travis gazed down at her with adoration that made Jenny squirm uncomfortably, then he cleared his throat and said politely, “That would be lovely.”
He pivoted and offered Jenny his arm, which she took, shivering at the touch of his flesh under her fingers.
“Have you seen the gardens?” He asked with a gruff tone that made Jenny suspect that he was as affected by the touch of her skin as she was.
Jenny shook her head, not trusting her own voice.
Travis swallowed. “Would you like to?”
Jenny nodded wordlessly, and he led her out the back entrance of the bar to a gravel path that she had never taken.
Paths she hadn't taken was a theme that seemed to apply to a lot of her life lately.
The evening was a tapestry of purple and magenta, sparkled with stars. The garden was well enough away from main areas of the resort that it was dark enough to see the features of the moonless sky, framed in the jungle trees that edged the garden.
Jenny’s marveled in her otter’s night vision. If she weren’t so busy resenting the otter’s constant voice and unwelcome features, there were parts to being a shifter that she could grow to like.
She paused at a vine of white flowers that were climbing riotously up a trellis and reached for one of the blooms.
“Don’t pick them,” Travis warned.
Jenny froze. “Poisonous?” she asked.
Travis’ laugh was her new favorite sound, and her otter practically did backflips of joy over the sound. “No, Graham is just really, really possessive about his gardens. I wouldn’t let him hurt you, but I’m not entirely convinced I would win in a fistfight.”
Jenny glanced over at him, letting her eyes linger over the muscles under his polo shirt. She couldn’t imagine that anyone would be able to beat him in a fistfight. He was not only broad shouldered and strong, but he moved with a grace and efficiency of motion that made Jenny suspect he was underestimating his own proficiency.
Either way, she didn’t want to be the cause of any more trouble at the resort than she already had been, and she left the flower unmolested.
There was a bench tucked into one corner under a violet-flowered shrub, and they sat together. It was a small enough bench that Travis’ thigh was against Jenny’s, and she was keenly aware of how badly she wanted to have less clothing between them even than her thin skirt and his mid-weight khakis.
“I never meant to cause you discomfort,” Travis said, awkwardly clearing his throat.
Jenny put an automatic hand on his thigh. “It wasn’t you,” she said, realizing how trite it sounded. “It was all me. I was… I am… in a really weird place. I don’t want you think I’m not… ah… interested.”
“I’ll be patient,” Travis told her sincerely. “I’ll make Lynx be patient.”
“No promises about my otter,” Jenny laughed weakly. “I don’t think patience is her strong suit.”
Something occurred to her. “You say ‘Lynx’ like it’s capitalized. Not ‘my lynx,’ or ‘a lynx,’ but ‘Lynx.’”
“I grew up in a native village in Alaska, and our shifter lore goes back to old stories, about times when Lynx and Raven and Bear were spirits that roamed the world in their own skins.”
Travis’ voice caught a little as he spoke and Jenny realized that she had unconsciously started caressing his thigh.
Down girl, she told her otter, making her hand still. She wasn't quite willing to remove it.
“So you think of it as a spirit animal, or a totem?”
“Essentially, yes,” Travis said.
Somehow, when she thought of her otter, it was too frivolous to be considered a serious totem animal.
One of us has to not take themselves too seriously, her otter replied with a sniff.
“Tell me about growing up in Alaska,” Jenny said wistfully.
“I lived in a tiny village near the Brooks Range,” Travis said. “You’ve never seen a land so beautiful and harsh. The summers are full of light and mosquitoes, the winters are endless twilight and cold so sharp it makes your nose hairs frost.” He carefully covered her hand with his own, lacing his fingers into hers. She was glad the webbing hadn’t come out in this shift.
Jenny and her otter both listened, enthralled, as Travis talked about a world so different from the mild-climate city life that Jenny had grown up in. His tales about the winter were an odd contrast to the warm, fragrant darkness they sat in now.
“Tell me about California,” Travis suggested then.
Hesitantly, Jenny talked about growing up in the city-sprawl of Southern California. “I looked up to my dad so much. I always wanted to be a lawyer like he was. It was my whole goal in life.”
“You must be pretty good at it,” Travis said. “Laura said you were offered a partnership.”
Jenny shrugged. “I’m not sure. I mean, I worked hard, but maybe it was just because my dad had been a partner…”
“I don’t know much about law,” Travis said, richly skeptical, “but I’m pretty sure they don’t give partnerships just for your genes. Have you ever heard of imposter syndrome?”
“Yes, of course,” Jenny said with a crooked smile she belatedly realized Travis couldn’t see. “And yes, guilty.” Thoughtfully, she added, “I feel like an imposter as a lawyer, and as a shifter.”
“Give yourself tim
e,” Travis said. “You’ve only been a shifter a few days, really.” He touched the side of her face tenderly, and Jenny wondered if he could see in the dark, too. It would make sense. His fingertips made her skin tingle.
Abruptly, Jenny decided it was time to be brave. “Earlier, you asked if you could kiss me,” she said, voice hoarse.
He froze beside her, and Jenny could feel his coiled attention. Her otter was aquiver with anticipation.
“Even though my otter wanted to say yes, I was afraid. I was afraid there wouldn’t be anything left of me if I did.”
“I understand,” Travis said, and Jenny could feel him fighting down disappointment. Was this what being a mate was like, more sure of his emotions than she was of her own? Could he sense her otter wriggling in need and lust the way she could sense his lynx? Did he think she was going to fight the creature instinct down again?
“I’m not afraid anymore,” she said quietly. “We both want you to kiss us.”
She ran a nervous tongue over her sharp teeth and swallowed. She knew he still wanted to, but would he like what he found?
Chapter 13
Travis didn’t need a second invitation.
With one smooth motion, he was gathering Jenny into his arms, and drawing her mouth to his for a kiss.
She gave a little whimper as she opened her mouth to him, hot and willing, and Travis dove in to claim it for his own.
Sharp teeth met questing tongue, and it only heightened his heat and desire. He slipped a hand along her neck, using his other arm to pull her close, kissing her with all his strength and focus.
“Oh, Travis,” she said, when he released her and she could catch her breath. “I… didn’t know it could be like that.”
“It can be more,” Travis said, sliding both hands up to cradle her face.
This time when he kissed her, it was more slowly, more demandingly, and he didn’t release her until she was begging for more, writhing against him wantonly. Was that her otter, or was it his Jenny? Was there any difference now?
Ours, Lynx purred.
He reached down and slid on hand up under her dress, cupping the outside of one thigh, one tantalizing ass cheek, and then found the thin fabric of her underwear.
He paused with one finger at the edge of the garment, giving her a chance to change her mind or draw away, and she whined and pressed closer in unmistakable invitation.
He drew it off of her, lifting her into his lap in one smooth motion. There was no way that she wouldn’t realize now how badly he wanted her; he was harder than he’d ever been, and the fabric of his pants did little to hold his member down.
She gyrated on him, making him groan in need and desire, and Travis had to concentrate to keep from tearing her dress in eagerness as he slipped it off over her head.
She was not so gentle with him, and Travis heard a seam of his polo shirt rip as she clawed it off of him, kissing him hungrily whenever undressing gave them the opportunity.
“Pants,” she said, breathing hard. Travis thought it was a slang expression of disgust, then realized she was actually concerned about his pants, fumbling with the button and belt. Travis stood, lifting her with him, and she gave a little gasp, giggling and grabbing around his neck.
Gently, he lay her down in a bed of flowers, kissing down her neck and arms as she reluctantly let go of him. He had never removed his pants so swiftly, returning to straddle her. She wore only her bra now, and it was everything that Travis could do not to simply let Lynx rut as he wished.
She wants us, Lynx insisted.
We can be a better lover than that, Travis countered.
So instead of burying himself inside her the way he so desperately wanted, he slipped a questing finger into her treasure.
She arched up to his hand, crying in pleasure and begging for release. He added a second finger, thrusting into her gently, slowly, making her squirm and gasp and snap her teeth in need. Her hands on his shoulders scratched and clawed, and when he coaxed a release from her, she sank her short claws reflexively into him.
“Oh!” She said in alarm, as the waves of pleasure ebbed away and Travis slowed his thrusting fingers in time with her breaths. “I must have hurt you!”
“It isn’t pain,” Travis assured her, and it wasn’t. It was only sensation, glorious contact with his mate and an expression of his ability to make her resonate.
But he wasn’t able to hold back his own need now, and when he pressed his hungry manhood against her, she opened her legs eagerly.
She was so wet, so soaked in her own joyous juices, that Travis slipped in faster than he meant to, driving into her to the base of his shaft in one firm motion.
She cried out in ecstasy, rising to meet him and wrap her legs around his waist. “Yes, oh, yes,” she gasped.
Her encouragement was all that Travis needed to begin thrusting in earnest, losing himself in the velvet of her skin, the smell of her sex, the sounds of her enjoyment. When she came again, clawing more gently along his arms this time, he made himself withdraw, panting and fighting hard not to come too quickly himself. He gently pulled her up, kissing her, then guided her over onto her knees.
She was intoxicatingly responsive, finding fresh delight in this new angle of penetration, and Travis finally let himself empty into her, his finally shuddering thrusts making her cry out in release one final time.
Chapter 14
Jenny didn’t realize she was dozing until Travis stirred beside her and she jolted into awareness again.
The delicious languor of sex still felt like it was weighing down her limbs, but familiar doubts were re-surfacing. Was this connection all otter and none of her own self? Would she continue to feel less human if she let herself fall further in love with this man?
The smell of crushed greens penetrated her thoughts, and Jenny realized that they were lying in one of the flower beds. She was delightfully sore in unexpected places, and felt guilty.
“Is Graham going to be angry?” She asked tentatively.
“Screw Graham,” Travis said, drawing her closer into his arms.
Jenny chuckled into his shoulder.
“I should go,” she said, finally pulling away and sitting up. “Once I find my clothes.”
Travis sat up beside her, a hand on her thigh, caressing her gently in a way that made her blood stir even after all they’d already done. “I have a room in the staff house at the edge of the resort. You can stay the night there with me.”
Jenny didn’t want to admit that she had spent the night before as an otter. She found it impossible to sleep as a human, her thoughts too jumbled up and chaotic to give her any rest. Only slipping back into otter form had brought her peace, and she’d slept in a pile of leaves under a hedge. Gizelle assumed she slept nights at Laura’s cottage, and Laura stilll thought she was rooming with Gizelle.
“I… can’t,” she said, drawing away and scrambling to her feet. She found her dress with one foot, and yanked it over her head with determination. Her sandals were next to the bench, and she stuffed her feet into them.
Travis rose from the flower garden, a gorgeous slab of naked hunk even in the very faint, shivery light of stars and distant resort lights. “Jenny…”
This was the ‘what happens next’ talk, Jenny realized, and panic rose up in her throat, choking her. She didn’t know what she wanted, even if she was sure now who she wanted. This was too fast, too much, it was all otter, not herself. She didn’t know who she was.
“I’m sorry,” she squeaked, and then she fled, not even bothering to find her underwear.
You’re going the wrong direction! her otter told her shrilly.
Jenny stumbled over the path, her vision swimming as she battled otter inside her head for control over her limbs.
I didn’t ask for you, she wailed at the creature in her head.
You needed me, the otter returned, fiercely.
You can’t hold that against me forever, Jenny protested. You saved me, great. But I want
my life back.
I’m not trying to hold anything against you, her otter growled back. But I clearly haven’t finished saving you. You still need me.
I need you? Jenny was outraged. I need you like I need a hole in the head. You want nothing but pleasures of the flesh, pursuing your own selfish agendas. You don’t even care that you’ve ruined my life. I can’t do my job! I can’t read! I can’t shift without claws, or whiskers, or pointed teeth because you won’t let go of me!
She thought that the silence in response was a victory, but her otter finally came back and told her softly, Did you ever think that you can’t shift completely human because you’re afraid of losing me, that it’s you not letting go of me?
Jenny’s feet had taken her inexorably to the ocean, and she stood at the edge of the deserted beach now and considered her otter’s uncomfortable idea without flinching. The chairs were all folded up and leaning against the beach bar. The stretch of empty sand was silver, with faint gossamer waves lapping against the shore. A sign proclaimed that no lifeguard was on duty.
She slipped off her sandals, and after a moment, her dress and bra, folding them neatly.
See? her otter gloated. Naked is more fun.
Jenny stepped into the sand, feeling the grains between her toes like doubts. Was it true? Was she just afraid of being alone again?
She walked out to the edge of the water and turned to look back. The resort rose above her like a castle. Only the bar deck and a few stray windows were lit, and the underwater lights of the pool gave the underside of the palm trees an unearthly glow. Darkness undoubtedly hid her from anyone who might have been watching.
Jenny turned back to the ocean. She’d spent weeks out in that dark water, always an otter, always just barely aware of who she’d been. She waded out, feeling the pull of the waves at her ankles, then her knees. Sand slipped out from beneath her feet with the power of the water. Then she was swimming, with human arms and legs for the first time since her otter had come to her, and she sucked in a breath and dove under, eyes closed.