by Perry, Marta
SIX
Lydia awoke to familiar comforts—the smell of her mother’s yeast rolls rising in the oven, the softness of their old blue couch underneath her and the sound of Joseph’s voice. Her eyes flickered open. His handsome face broke into a smile over her.
“Look who’s back among the living.” His announcement grabbed the attention of her mother, who ran over from the kitchen and planted a kiss on the forehead.
“What happened? Last thing I remember we were on our way home from the funeral.”
Joseph helped her up into a sitting position. As she rose, a throbbing in the back of her head shot across her skull. She remembered the blue truck and Joseph reaching for her.
“You were thrown from the buggy.”
“Ya.” She rubbed the bump on the back of her head. “A truck pulled in front of us. I slipped from the buggy. The rest of it I don’t remember. How did we get here?”
“The emergency crew brought us. Detective Macy and a whole team of police came to the scene. I told them about the brakes not working. They are looking into it. Inspecting the buggy. A man came with a horse trailer and took Cherry back to my parents’ place.”
“I’m so thankful you are okay,” her mother said before heading back to the stove. By the warm, delicious smells floating through the air, Lydia guessed her mother had baked quite a dinner. She must have been sleeping for hours.
“How do you feel?” Joseph asked.
“My stomach’s growling. I’m thinking that’s a good sign.” She invited him to sit beside her. The concerned look in his eyes warmed her from head to toe. Yesterday, she would not have welcomed it. Be careful, Lydia, she warned herself.
“You gave me quite a scare, Miss Stoltz. Two days in a row. You have to stop doing this to me.” He took her hand in his own. He held tightly to her. Lydia filled with emotion at the tenderness of his touch. Her cheeks felt warm. “Macy will be here soon to talk to us again. Are you up for that?”
She nodded. “I think so. Really I just have a bit of headache. I’m sure I’ll feel fine as soon as I eat.”
His soft hazel eyes held her gaze for a long moment. Her pulse raced as she saw in him that boy who’d loved her so. It would be easy to fall for him all over again. But she couldn’t. He’d had his chance and he’d made his choice. She turned her head away. “So, when do you go back to Indiana?”
Joseph’s expression darkened and he sighed. “You know very well I’m staying for my cousin’s wedding. That’s not for three weeks. Anyway, I can’t go anywhere until Macy gives his permission, and I’m guessing that won’t be until this mess with Billy is resolved.”
“Right, I’m sorry. I suppose I’m not thinking straight after the bump on the head.... But I think I could use a cup of tea. You?” Lydia began to stand.
“You stay put. I’ll go.” Joseph grabbed her arm and kept her down.
While he fetched the tea, Detective Macy and another officer knocked at the front door. Her mother led them into the modest living area, where they each took a seat in a plain wooden chair.
“I hope you’re feeling better, Miss Stoltz.” Macy’s voice and expression, which had always been stern and serious, seemed even more ominous.
Joseph returned with a large mug of hot tea for her. He greeted the officers and set the tea beside her.
“I’ll go pour two more cups,” her mother said.
“That won’t be necessary.” Detective Macy shook his head. “We won’t stay long.” He turned to the man who’d accompanied him. “This is Detective Mason. He inspected your vehicle, Mr. Yoder.”
“How’s the buggy?” Joseph asked.
“It’s a little bumped up, but the biggest concern is the brakes. When was the last time you remember using them?” Detective Mason asked him.
“They didn’t work at the accident, but I’m certain that they worked earlier. I’d used them on the ride out to the church. They seemed fine. What happened?”
Macy and Mason exchanged a serious look. “It seems someone removed your entire brake system. It wasn’t that they didn’t work. You didn’t have any. If you remember using them earlier today, then the removal must have been done during the service.”
“Why would anyone do that?” Lydia felt her eyes go wide.
“We don’t know. Perhaps in hopes that you or Joseph or both of you would be injured. Detained. Scared. Killed.” Detective Macy handed Joseph a small envelope.
“What’s this?” Joseph took it.
“One of the witnesses to the accident picked up a couple of things that had blown out of Lydia’s hands.”
“Oh no.” Lydia remembered the valet box had been in her hands as she fell. “The box broke. I’m sorry, Joseph. It was all you had from Billy.”
Joseph turned his head toward her. “If that’s all that was damaged, then I have everything to be thankful for. God’s hand was truly on us.”
“Amen,” her mother added.
Lydia studied the small envelope Joseph held. “So, there must have been something inside the valet box after all.”
“Ya. Perhaps tucked up in the lid.” Joseph placed the envelope on the sofa. “Let’s look at it later. I want to hear more about the accident.” He turned back to Detective Macy. “What about the truck that tried to run us off the road? Were you able to locate it?”
“No. Those plate numbers were phony. The truck could be stolen. We won’t be able to trace it.”
With that, Macy stood and Detective Mason followed his example.
“I’m going to increase the amount of patrol cars circling around here,” Macy continued. “I think the two of you should continue to play it safe. Stay in numbers. Don’t go anywhere alone.
“With your brakes having been removed, we cannot write off this accident as coincidence. I think we must assume that someone or some group of people wish to harm you. A logical conclusion is that it is connected to Billy Ferris’s death. Possibly someone—maybe a killer—knows that Billy went to talk to you both after he was injured. He or she may think that Billy gave you something of value or told you something that could incriminate him.
“If you think of anything, let me know... especially if you can remember exactly what Billy said to you before he died. Please call. I’ll be in touch soon.”
Joseph stood to see the officers out, then sat beside her again, picking up the envelope and holding it in his hand. “You know, Macy is right. We both knew that Billy said to be careful. Well, that accident scared me enough to think we’d better find out why. I’ve already talked it over with your mother and sent word to my family. I’ll be staying here with you and your mamm for a few days. That way I can help out with the farm, since you need to rest that head. And I won’t have to worry about you two women out here on this isolated farm by yourselves.”
He studied her, obviously trying to gauge her feelings, but she made sure her face showed neither happiness nor discontentment. Anyway, it wasn’t far from the truth. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Joseph staying so close.
He lifted the envelope and took out the contents. “Pictures? Let’s take a look.”
He handed her what he had pulled from the envelope. Lydia smiled, taking the photos and separating them in her hands. “There are two. Billy is in both of them.”
In the first, Billy had his arm around the shoulders of another guy in a pal-like sort of way. The other boy was tall, like Billy, and they both had long hair.
“I don’t think I know this guy.” Joseph leaned in to study the photo more closely. “This one looks like it was taken when Billy was in high school.”
Lydia turned to the second photo but quickly dropped it away from her face. This was not a picture she wanted to see. Her stomach churned.
“What? What is it?” He reached across her lap for the second picture.
“It’s nothing, Joseph. Just so many memories all at once...”
He touched her hand, lifting the photo up again so that he could see it. “Oh...yeah....this must h
ave been taken that last night when we were all together...at Tucker’s Pond. All those girls were sitting together in our—in my old courtin’ buggy.”
She handed the second picture to him. A small piece of paper slipped from the back of the photo and fluttered to the floor. Lydia bent over to retrieve it, then she held it between them so that they could read the words together.
And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
“A Scripture from John. Maybe it was his favorite verse?” Lydia said.
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Billy wasn’t too into the Bible. I’m thinking he meant something by having it stuck to the back of this photo.” Joseph turned the photos over in his hands. A deep frown darkened his face. The pictures, the memories of what had passed that night, obviously affected him, too.
“Put these back in the envelope, please.” He handed the pictures back to her.
*
“Why does everything keep going back to that night?” Joseph stood and paced the length of the room. His frustration growing, he felt powerless, caught in this mess Billy had pulled them into. “I know you don’t want to talk about the past, but I’m going to say this anyway. I hate that night. Lydia, I hate it. I exposed you to evil. I should have protected you. I should have taken better care of you. I was so stupid back then. So childish and naive. I never thought about the ripple effects of my decisions. But that night scared me.
“When that girl got sick, after I got you home, I told my parents that they were right. That I needed to get away from Billy. Away from his influence. They were more than happy to hear it. They didn’t waste any time. My daed set me off the next morning to Indiana. They said it was best if I didn’t see you first. They were afraid I’d change my mind. I had planned to come back after a year. To join the church here and be with you but you’d taken up with Gideon and my uncle needed me. I wish you’d read my letters.”
“I was childish, too. And hurt.” A sad smile passed over her lips. “Anyway, so much time has passed. It is all forgotten.”
“No, not all of it is forgotten....” He leaned close to her and again touched her hand. How he hoped she would not pull it away. “Lydia, surely not all of what we shared is forgotten. When you spend so much time with someone, doesn’t that person become—”
Lydia’s face washed white with his words. Joseph dropped his head. What was he thinking bringing this up now? She had a head injury, poor thing.
Anyway, there was no future for them. Not together. She would never leave her mother alone with the farm and he’d promised his uncle to return to Indiana. He needed to be thankful for this time to repair their friendship, not keep pushing for something he couldn’t have. Something that Lydia clearly did not want.
“Dinner!” Lydia’s mother yelled from the kitchen.
Joseph gave thanks for the food and for God’s saving them on the road that very afternoon. Then dinner passed quietly.
Lydia ate little and spoke even less. She and her mother discussed the accident and the warning from Detective Macy. Joseph couldn’t get his mind off the photos and the Bible verse. What had Billy meant by leaving them in the valet box for him? Could it possibly have anything to do with who killed him?
“I wonder what happened to the people in the photos that were inside the valet box. Do you remember any of them?” he asked.
“No.” Lydia shook her head.
“What if we could find out what happened to them? Maybe we could ask them about what happened after we left that night. Or maybe they know something about Billy that would be helpful to us. Maybe then we could figure out if any of this really has to do with us.”
“We’d have to remember their names for that,” Lydia pointed out.
“Were they all students at Willow Trace High with Billy?” her mother said.
“I believe so. Why?”
“Because then you can look through the school’s yearbooks for the years that Billy was in high school. You’re bound to find at least one picture of each of them.”
Joseph smiled. “When does the library open?”
SEVEN
Monday morning after chores, Lydia and her mother drove up the main highway in their pony cart. A bright yellow sun warmed their faces. A thick wool blanket kept their legs warm. Joseph had left earlier for Miller’s shop to work. The bishop himself had stopped by to escort him and to check on everyone. Her mother had some shopping to do, while Lydia planned to meet Joseph at the library. They hoped that there they might learn something about the people in Billy’s photos. And from that, they hoped to find out why Billy had come to them that night he died.
“I didn’t want you to go to town alone,” Lydia’s mother said, turning toward her. “But I came along for another reason.”
Oh boy. Advice in the pony cart. Her mother hadn’t pulled this trick on her since her rumspringa days.
“You want to talk?” Lydia smiled.
“I do,” her mother said. “Lydia...”
A long moment passed and her mother had yet to begin. “What is it, Mamm?”
“Well, this is harder than I thought.” Naomi wiped a tear from her cheek. “I’m worried about you, Lydia.”
“Why? From that little bump on the head? Don’t. I’m fine.”
“No, it’s not the head. It’s not even this tragedy about Billy Ferris. It’s just you. Lydia, you aren’t fine. You work too hard. You hardly ever spend time with your girlfriends, Kate and Miriam. You haven’t been to a quilting in I don’t know when. You cringe every time someone mentions the word marriage.”
“That’s not so.” Lydia kept the smile on her face even though her mother’s harsh accusations hurt. Every word her mother said was true. “Kate and Miriam don’t have much time for me now that they’re married. And the last few times I visited Kate, she could not stop talking about her time coming with the baby. I didn’t know what to say. I certainly don’t cringe when marriage is mentioned. I have nothing against marriage. I’m just all nervous about this business with Billy Ferris.”
“This has nothing to do with Billy Ferris and you know it. I’m talking about why you aren’t courting. You’ve had plenty of callers, but you keep turning them away. They’ve all but quit coming. They’re afraid of getting rejected.”
“You don’t want me to get married to just anyone, do you? I have to wait for the right man.”
“Your being choosy has nothing to do with it.” Her mother’s voice had taken an angrier, disappointed tone.
Lydia had not fooled Naomi with the phony smile and silly explanations. She frowned as she mulled over her mother’s words. “I don’t know why I don’t get out much anymore. I’m older than most of the girls at the barn singings. There is a lot of work to do on the farm. But I’ll make a better effort, Mamm. I will. Anyway, how can you bring that up with all of this horrible Billy Ferris business?”
“Because this Billy Ferris business is what made me realize what I’ve allowed you to get away with for the past few years.” Her mother frowned. “And I’ve realized why you gave up on courting and love and men.”
Lydia swallowed hard. “I didn’t give it up. I—”
“First of all, you’re afraid of men because your father upped and left us. Darling Lydia, your father is—was—a good man, but the Amish life was hard for him. He left us because he wasn’t able to cope with the Amish ways. I pray every day that he is safe and happy. Maybe he will come home one day. Maybe he won’t. But I will never judge another human based on his weaknesses and shortcomings.”
“Did you want to go with Daed when he left?”
Naomi shook her head slowly. “I miss him, but my first vow is to God. I never had a doubt about that.”
Lydia sighed. She did not understand her mother’s complacency. “You aren’t angry? You don’t feel like you got a raw deal?”
Naomi shook her head and smiled. “How can I be angry about a relationship that gave you to me?”
“You’re so forgiving, Mamm. I am not like you. I try but—”
“It’s fear that keeps you from letting go of all this pain. The Scripture says that “you shall not be afraid.” Try it, Lydia. Cast away the fear, and then the forgiveness and the love will come. And with that, you will have peace.”
Lydia hoped one day to be the strong woman of God that her mother was. “Danki. I will try. I will try harder.”
“Wait. I’m not finished.”
“You’re not?” Lydia sank down in her seat.
“No, and I think you know what I’m going to say.” Her mother eyed her with a knowing stare.
“Actually, I don’t.”
“Lydia, you are still in love with Joseph Yoder,” her mother said.
“No, It is good to see him again and repair that childhood friendship. But I’m not in love with him.”
She put her arm around Lydia’s shoulders and pulled her near. “Take care, Lydia, that you do not lose something that could bring you joy and happiness in this life. There is so much God has for you. Don’t be afraid of it.”
Lydia could hardly breathe at the thought of losing the farm or leaving her mother. And Joseph she had already lost. As soon as he could, he would be going back to Indiana. Even if she did still love him, there was nothing good to come of it.
Her mother remained quiet for the rest of the ride into town, and Lydia tried hard not to dwell on their conversation. But it kept replaying in her mind. She was grateful when they pulled up to the library.
Joseph was waiting for her. She climbed out of the cart and gave her mother a kiss goodbye. Her mamm had certainly given her a lot to think about. But first to find out about Billy and his friends.
*
Joseph leaned over Lydia’s shoulder, passing her the Willow Trace High School yearbooks he’d pulled from the shelves. It was nice to be so close that he could feel the warmth radiating from her skin. He liked being with Lydia. Staying with her over the past two days, sleeping on her couch, driving her and her mamm to Sunday meeting, taking meals with them, it had renewed and repaired their friendship.