I remember that day, Eric. I was in chains and I had been forced to my knees before the throne. I had already crowned myself, to mock you, and been beaten for it. The second time I had the crown in my hands, I threw it at you. But you caught it and smiled. I was glad that it was not damaged when it failed to damage you. Such a beautiful thing... All of silver, with its seven high points, and studded with emeralds to beat all diamonds. Two large rubies at either temple... You crowned yourself that day, all arrogance and hasty pomp. The first words that you spoke then were whispered to me, before the echoes of “Long live the king!” had died within the hall. I remember every one of them. “Your eyes have looked upon the fairest sight they ever will behold,” you said. Then, “Guards!” you ordered. “Take Corwin away to the smithy, and let his eyes be burnt from out his head! Let him remember the sights of this day as the last he might ever see! Then cast him into the darkness of the deepest dungeon beneath Amber, and let his name be forgotten!”
“Now you reign in Amber,” I said aloud. “But I have my eyes, and I have neither forgotten nor been forgotten.”
No, I thought. Wrap yourself in the kingship, Eric. The walls of Amber are high and thick. Stay behind them. Ring yourself with the futile steel of blades. Antlike, you armor your house in dust. You know now that you will never be secure so long as I live, and I have told you that I will be back. I am coming, Eric. I will bring me up guns out of Avalon, and I will break down your doors and smite your defenders. Then it will be as it was, briefly, another time, before your men came to you and saved you. That day I had only a few drops of your blood. This time, I will have it all.
I uncovered another rough diamond, the sixteenth or so, and flipped it into the sack at my waist.
As I faced the setting sun, I wondered about Benedict, Julian, and Gerard. What was the connection? Whatever, I did not like any combination of interests which involved Julian. Gerard was all right. I had been able to sleep back at the camp when I had thought that it was he whom Benedict was contacting. If he was now allied with Julian, though, it was cause for increased uneasiness. If anyone hated me even more than Eric, it was Julian. If he knew where I was, then my danger was great. I was not yet ready for a confrontation.
I supposed Benedict could find a moral justification for selling me out at this point. After all, he knew that whatever I did-and he knew that I was going to do something-would result in strife in Amber. I could understand, even sympathize with, his feelings. He was dedicated to the preservation of the realm. Unlike Julian, he was a man of principle, and I regretted having to be at odds with him. My hope was that my coup would be as quick and painless as a tooth extraction under gas, and that we would be back on the same side again soon afterward. Having met Dara now, I also wanted it this way for her sake.
He had told me too little for comfort. I had no way of knowing whether he really intended to remain in the field the entire week, or whether he was even now cooperating with the forces of Amber in the laying of my trap, the walling of my prison, the digging of my grave. I had to hurry, though I longed to linger in Avalon.
I envied Ganelon, in whatever tavern or brothel he drank, whored, or fought, on whatever hillside he hunted. He had come home. Should I leave him to his pleasures, despite his offer to accompany me to Amber? But no, he would be questioned on my departure-used badly, if Julian had anything to do with it-and then become an outcast in what must seem his own land to him, if they let him go at all. Then he would doubtless become an outlaw again, and the third time would probably prove his undoing. No, I would keep my promise. He would come with me, if that was he still wanted. If he had changed his mind, well-I even envied him the prospect of outlawry in Avalon. I would have liked to remain longer, to ride with Dara in the hills, tramp about the countryside, sail upon the rivers...
I thought about the girl. The knowledge of her existence changed things somewhat. I was not certain how. Despite our major hatreds and petty animosities, we Amberites are a very family-conscious bunch, always eager for news of one another, desirous to know everyone's position in the changing picture. A pause for gossip has doubtless stayed a few death blows among us. I sometimes think of us as a gang of mean little old ladies in a combination rest home and obstacle course.
I could not fit Dara into things yet because she did not know where she fit herself. Oh, she would learn eventually. She would receive superb tutelage once her existence became known. Now that I had brought her awareness of her uniqueness it would only be a matter of time before this occurred and she joined in the games. I had felt somewhat serpent-like at points during our conversation in the grove-but hell, she had a right to know. She was bound to find out sooner or later, and the sooner she did the sooner she could start shoring up her defenses. It was for her own benefit.
Of course, it was possible-even likely-that her mother and grandmother had lived their lives in ignorance of their heritage...
And where had it gotten them? They died violently, she had said.
Was it possible, I wondered, that the long arm of Amber had reached for them out of Shadow? And that it might strike again?
Benedict could be as tough and mean and nasty as any of us when he wanted to be. Tougher, even. He would fight to protect his own, doubtless even kill one of us if he thought it necessary. He must have assumed that keeping her existence a secret and keeping her ignorant would protect her. He would be angry with me when he found out what I had done, which was another reason for clearing out in a hurry. But I had not told her what I had out of sheer perverseness. I wanted her to survive, and I did not feel he was handling things properly. When I returned, she would have had time to think things over. She would have many questions and I would seize the opportunity to caution her at length and to give specifics.
I gnashed my teeth.
None of this should be necessary. When I ruled in Amber, things would be different. They had to be...
Why had no one ever come up with a way to change the basic nature of man? Even the erasure of all my memories and a new life in a new world had resulted in the same old Corwin. If I were not happy with what I was it could be a proposition worthy of despair.
In a quiet part of the river, I washed away the dust, the sweat, wondering the while about the black road which had so injured my brothers. There were many things that I needed to know.
As I bathed, Grayswandir was never far from my hand. One of us is capable of tracking another through Shadow, when the trail is still warm. As it was, my bath was undisturbed, though I used Grayswandir three times on the way back, on less mundane things than brothers.
But this was to be expected, as I had accelerated the pace considerably...
It was still dark, though dawn was not too far away, when I entered the stables at my brother's manor. I tended Star, who had grown somewhat wild, talking to him and soothing him as I rubbed him down, then putting out a good supply of food and water. Ganelon's Firedrake greeted me from the opposite stall. I cleaned up at the pump to the rear of the stable, trying to decide where I was going to catch a little sleep.
I needed some rest. A few hours' worth would hold me for a time, but I refused to take them beneath Benedict's roof. I would not be taken that easily, and while I had often said that I wanted to die in bed, what I really meant was that in my old age I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love.
I was not averse to drinking his booze, though, and I wanted a belt of something strong. The manor was dark; I entered quietly and I found the sideboard.
I poured a stiff one, tossed it off, poured another, and carried it to the window. I could see for a great distance. The manor stood on a hillside and Benedict had landscaped the place well.
“ 'White in the moon the long road lies,' “ I recited, surprised at the sound of my own voice. “ 'The moon stands blank above... ' “
“So it does. So it does, Corwin my lad,” I heard Ganelon say.
“I didn't see you sitting there,” I said softly, not turning from the window.
“That's because I'm sitting so still,” he said.
“Oh,” I said. “How drunk are you?”
“Hardly at all,” he said, “now. But if you would care to be a good fellow and fetch me a drink...”
I turned.
“Why can't you get your own?”
“It hurts to move.”
“All right.”
I went and poured him one, carried it to him. He raised it slowly, nodded his thanks, took a sip.
“Ah, that's good!” he sighed. “May it numb things a bit”
“You were in a fight,” I decided.
“Aye,” he said. “Several.”
“Then bear your wounds like a good trooper and let me save my sympathy.”
“But I won!”
“God! Where did you leave the bodies?”
“Oh, they are not that bad off. Twas a girl did this to me.”
“Then I'd say you got your money's worth.”
“ 'Twas not that sort of thing at all. I believe I've embarrassed us.”
“Us? How?”
“I did not know she was the lady of the house. I came in feeling jolly, and I thought her some serving wench...”
“Dara?” I said, tensing.
“Aye, the same. I slapped her on the rump and went for a kiss or two—” He groaned. “Then she picked me up. She raised me off the ground and held me up over her head. Then she told me she was the lady of the house. Then she let me fall... I'm eighteen stone if I'm a pebble, man, and it was a long way down.” He took another drink, and I chuckled.
“She laughed, too,” he said ruefully. “She helped me up then and was not unkind, and of course I apologized-That brother of yours must be quite a man. I never met a girl that strong. The things she could do to a man...” There was awe in his voice. He shook his head slowly and tossed back the rest of his drink. “It was frightening-not to mention embarrassing,” he concluded.
“She accepted your apology?”
“Oh, yes. She was quite gracious about the whole thing. She told me to forget all about it, and said that she would, too.”
“Then why are you not in bed sleeping it off?”
“I was waiting up, in case you came in at an odd hour. I wanted to catch you right away.”
“Well, you have.”
He rose slowly and picked up his glass.
“Let's go outside,” he said.
“Good idea.”
He picked up the brandy decanter on the way out, which I also thought was a good idea, and we followed a path through the garden behind the house. Finally, he heaved himself onto an old stone bench at the foot of a large oak tree, where he refilled both our glasses and took a drink from his own.
“Ah! He has good taste in liquor, too, your brother,” be said.
I seated myself beside him and filled my pipe.
“After I told her I was sorry and introduced myself, we got to talking for a time,” he said. “As soon as she learned I was with you, she wanted to know all sorts of things about Amber and shadows and you and the rest of your family.”
“Did you tell her anything?” I said, striking a light.
“Couldn't have if I wanted to,” he said. “I had none of the answers.”
“Good.”
“It got me to thinking, though. I do not believe Benedict tells her too much, and I can see why. I would be careful what I say around her, Corwin. She seems over-curious.”
I nodded, puffing.
“There is a reason for it,” I said. “A very good reason. I am glad to know, though, that you keep your wits about you even when you have been drinking. Thanks for telling me.”
He shrugged and took a drink.
“A good bashing is a sobering thing. Also, your welfare is my welfare.”
“True. Does this version of Avalon meet with your approval?”
“Version? It is my Avalon,” he said. “A new generation of people is in the land, but it is the same place. I visited the Field of Thorns today, where I put down Jack Hailey's bunch in your service. It was the same place.”
“The Field of Thorns...” I said, remembering.
“Yes, this is my Avalon,” he continued, “and I'll be coming back here for my old age, if we live trough Amber.”
“You still want to come along?”
“All my life I've wanted to see Amber-well, since I first heard of it. That was from you, in happier times.”
“I do not really remember what I said. It must have been a good telling.”
“We were both wonderfully drunk that night, and it seemed but a brief while that you talked-weeping some of the time-telling me of the mighty mountain Kolvir and the green and golden spires of the city, of the promenades, the decks, the terraces, the flowers, the fountains... It seemed but a brief while, but it was most of the night-for before we staggered off to bed, the morning had begun. God! I could almost draw you a map of the place! I must see it before I die.”
“I do not remember that night,” I said slowly. “I must have been very, very drunk.”
He chuckled.
“We had some good times here in the old days,” he said. “And they do remember us here. But as people who lived very long ago-and they have many of the stories wrong. But hell! How many people get their stories right from day to day?”
I said nothing, smoking, thinking back.
“...All of which leads me to a question or two,” he said.
“Shoot.”
“Will your attack on Amber put you at great odds with your brother Benedict?”
“I really wish that I knew the answer to that one,” I said. “I think that it will, initially. But my move should be completed before he can reach Amber from here, in response to any distress call that goes out. That is, reach Amber with reinforcements. He could get there in no time at all, personally, if someone on the other end were helping. But that would serve little purpose. No. Rather than tear Amber apart, he will support whoever can hold it together, I am certain. Once I have ousted Eric, he will want the strife to stop right there and he will go along with my holding the throne, just to put an end to it. He will not really approve of the seizure in the first place, of course.”
“That is what I am getting at. Will there be bad blood between you afterward as a result of that?”
“I do not believe so. This is purely a matter of politics, and we have known one another most of our lives, he and I, and have always been on better terms with each other than either of us with Eric.”
“I see. Since you and I are in this together and Avalon seems to be Benedict's now, I was wondering what his feelings would be about my returning here one day. Would he hate me for having helped you?”
“I doubt that very much. He has never been that sort of person.”
“Then let me carry things a step further. God knows I am an experienced military man, and if we succeed in taking Amber he will have ample evidence of the fact, with his right arm injured the way that it is and all, do you think he might consider taking me on as a field commander for his militia? I know this area so well. I could take him to the Field of Thorns and describe that battle. Helll I would serve him well-as well as I served you.”
He laughed then.
“Pardon me. Better than I served you.”
I chuckled, sipped my drink.
“It would be tricky,” I said. “Of course I like the idea. But I am not too certain that you could ever enjoy his trust. It would seem too obvious a ploy on my part.”
“Damn politics! That is not what I meant! Soldiering is all that I know, and I love Avalon!”
“I believe you. But would he?”
“With only one arm he will be needing a good man about. He could—”
I began to laugh and restrained myself quickly, for the sound of laughter seems to carry for a good distance. Also, Ganelon's feelings were involved.
“I am sorry,” I said. “Excuse me, please. You do not understand. You do not really understand who it was we tal
ked with in the tent that night. He may have seemed an ordinary man to you-a handicapped one, at that. But this is not so. I fear Benedict. He is unlike any other being in Shadow or reality. He is the Master of Arms for Amber. Can you conceive of a millennium? A thousand years? Several of them? Can you understand a man who, for almost every day of a lifetime like that, has spent some time dwelling with weapons, tactics, strategies? Because you see him in a tiny kingdom, commanding a small militia, with a well-pruned orchard in his back yard, do not be deceived. All that there is of military science thunders in his head. He has often journeyed from shadow to shadow, witnessing variation after variation on the same battle, with but slightly altered circumstances, in order to test his theories of warfare. He has commanded armies so vast that you could watch them march by day after day and see no end to the columns. Although he is inconvenienced by the loss of his arm, I would not wish to fight with him either with weapons or barehanded. It is fortunate that he has no designs upon the throne, or he would be occupying it right now. If he were, I believe that I would give up at this moment and pay him homage. I fear Benedict.”
Ganelon was silent for a long while, and I took another drink, for my throat had become dry.
“I did not realize this, of course,” he said then. “I will be happy if he just lets me come back to Avalon.”
“That much he will do. I know.”
“Dara told me she had a message from him today. He has decided to cut short his stay in the field. He will probably be returning tomorrow.”
“Damn!” I said, standing. “We will have to move soon, then. I hope Doyle has that stuff ready. We must go to him in the morning and expedite matters. I want to be away from here before Benedict gets back!”
“You have the pretties then?”
“Yes.”
“May I see them?”
I undid the sack at my belt and passed it to him. He opened it and withdrew several stones, holding them in the palm of his left hand and turning them slowly with his fingertips.
“They do not look like much,” he said, “from what I can see of them in this light. Wait! There's a glimmer! No...”
The Great Book of Amber Page 30