by Graham, Jan
“I wasn’t going to. I tried not to, and I did ask him to stop but…” Angel paused. “You won’t understand.”
“Try me.” Steve’s voice was firm.
“I haven’t had someone touch me like that for so long. He was gentle. It was sensual. Yes, I know he is a dangerous man, but he wasn’t dangerous last night, and I decided I needed to know someone was interested in fucking me without being cruel. I wanted to feel a man being considerate of my body.” Angel stared at Steve. “I wanted to come without the fear of a gun going off inside my mouth or my cunt or a knife slicing my throat. And yes, he wasn’t a good choice of man to do that with, but he was here, so I fucked him. Are you happier with the truth, or does it make you feel as sick as I do about it?” Angel stood and walked into the kitchen to refill her coffee.
Steve sat quietly for a few minutes. The truth in Angel’s words hit him hard in the gut. It felt like he’d received a match-winning punch from a professional boxer. What the hell should he say in return?
“Thanks for your honesty.” Steve didn’t know what else he could have said. He felt like a complete dickhead. He had heard some of the attacks on Angel. Samuel was a sadistic bastard, and more than once the surveillance team had been tempted to break down the door and drag her out of the house. He recalled the incident he had heard with the shotgun and glanced at the duffle bag.
“Will we find your DNA on any of the items in the bag, Angel? Did Barnard use any of them to assault you?”
“What do you think?” Angel poured Steve a refill of coffee. “You know Steve, you have forgotten to ask a very important question.”
“And what would that be, Angel?” Steve couldn’t figure out why the girl wasn’t sitting in a corner rocking after what she had been through. And he only knew a bit of what she had suffered at the hands of Barnard. Steve was starting to think that underneath that pretty exterior, Angel Wylde must be cast in steel.
“Why am I telling you this?” Angel asked the question and continued to answer it immediately. “I’m telling you all this because I have come to the conclusion that Adrian Hastings will eventually kill me.”
Fuck. Steve hadn’t expected that.
“Angel, you have me on a roller coaster here,” Steve blurted out, nearly choking on his coffee. “I think I need a moment to digest all this.”
“What’s to digest? Adrian fucked me last night for selfish reasons, to throw me off guard. I realised this morning when I woke up that at some point he will kill me.” Angel cleared her throat. “So I’m giving you everything I have found that may be useful to the police.”
“Do you think he killed Samuel?” Steve didn’t want to do this with a hangover, but he had no choice.
Angel sat quietly for a moment. He knew she was watching him as he rubbed his temples yet again. It had to be obvious that he was in a bit of pain. She knew he had a hangover and hearing all this wasn’t easy. Angel had thrown him totally off-balance. After all, she was usually a bitch to him when they spoke. Not that he didn’t deserve a large dose of attitude from her. He was usually so arrogant someone needed to take down his obviously dominant arse. Steve watched as she walked into the kitchen and came back with a box of aspirin and a glass of water that she placed in front of him.
“He told me he killed him last night,” Angel replied. “Adrian said, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t intervene earlier into the situation you were in with Samuel.’ I interpret that as Adrian killed Samuel or ordered him killed. The house had been trashed when I got home. Someone had been looking for something, and Adrian let it slip that he had Samuel’s missing hard drive. How they got him strung up I don’t know. Samuel wasn’t easily overpowered by anyone. But the coroner said it was suicide, so I guess that means the case of Samuel is closed.”
“Not necessarily,” Steve said before gulping down two aspirin. “New evidence can reopen it. And we have new evidence if you say Hastings confessed to killing Samuel, as long as you’re willing to testify when it goes to trial.”
“You’re so funny.” Angel laughed. “No one makes it to trial to testify, and I wouldn’t either. I said he’d eventually kill me, Steve, not that I wanted to hand him the gun to do it. Besides, he only said he wished he had done something sooner, not that he did anything. He would argue I had misunderstood him.”
“I remember he said that but—” Steve didn’t realise what he was about to say as he continued. “Didn’t he also say, ‘Anyway, I have gotten rid of him from your life and mine,’ or something like that, wasn’t it?” Steve suddenly noticed the horrified look an Angel’s face.
Oh fuck, I’m so fired over this one.
“You have the house bugged. It’s not Adrian that is under surveillance. It’s me. How long? Who heard me have sex last night?” Angel was visibly angry. “How long have you been listening in on my life?” She picked up a pillow and started hitting him with it. “You fucking bastard, how long?” She screamed as Steve grabbed the pillow and pushed her back into the couch, avoiding the slaps of her now-empty hands.
“Stop it, Angel, or I’ll arrest you for assaulting a police officer.”
“Yeah, a pillow is such a dangerous weapon,” Angel retorted.
Steve waited as Angel stopped struggling before moving away from him, tears of rage silently flowing down her face.
“We started surveillance about four months before Samuel died.” Steve couldn’t stand the betrayed look she gave him. “And it wasn’t you we were listening to. It was Samuel. We came in and bugged the house. It’s only recording devices, not video, and it was only ever Samuel’s mobiles, not yours. We never removed the surveillance when he died because you may not realise this, but Hastings’s men visit this house regularly when you’re not here. They still deal drugs from this address, or if you’re at home, they deal just out the front. Admittedly, we were hoping that you may be contacted by Hastings at some stage, which you were.” Steve felt the anger in Angel’s glare, her expression adding new meaning to “if looks could kill.” He knew that Angel didn’t like him before this conversation, so his current admission wouldn’t do anything to instil trust in him.
It was obvious that Angel was having trouble believing what she was hearing. At one point she looked like she was about to be sick. Steve realised he had just admitted that for four months they had heard everything that had happened in the house and not once had anyone tried to see if she was okay.
“And the only arrest you threaten to make in all that time is for me hitting you with a pillow.” Disbelief sounded in her voice, she wiped her eyes, appearing to be unsure what to say. Steve could only imagine what she was thinking and feeling.
“Angel, I’m sorry that we had to let things go that we could have arrested Samuel for. He was our link to Hastings. The things he did to you…” Steve faltered before continuing. “But we had to look at the bigger picture. I hope you can understand that.”
“I understand.” Angel’s voice was emotionless. “I’ve always understood.”
“What do you understand, Angel?” Steve looked at her with concern.
“I understand I’m not worth worrying about. I understand all too well that when it comes to the interest of others, I count for nothing. That’s the message I’ve been given since I was young. I exist around others, Steve, and I’m insignificant in the big scheme of things.” Steve could tell she was trying to hold back tears. He went to answer her, but she raised her hand stopping the words in their tracks. “Before you say a word about that not being true, your inaction has already proved a statement like that to be a lie.”
God, she had him there. As much as he wanted to say it, he couldn’t. She was right. Anyone on the team could have intervened at any time. He had tried on one occasion and had been stopped. Not that telling Angel would make a difference now. The silence that sat between them was deafening, and Steve was, once again, at a loss for words. As if the morning’s conversation wasn’t bad enough, the unexplainable impulse to hug her floored him, keeping him motionle
ss and filled with a strange sense of panic.
“I think I’d like you to leave now if you don’t mind.” Angel finally broke the silence, stood up, and walked over to the front door.
Steve stood and collected the items Angel had given him. He watched her standing vacantly near the door, and his heart went out to her. I’m such a fucking shithead. Steve was filled with disgust as he walked over to stand in front of her. She was so small compared to his six-foot-three frame. She gave him the impression of being a pale and tired little girl who needed a hug.
“Had he not died, Samuel would have faced charges on everything he did to you once Hastings was taken down. We just needed more time. He would have paid for what he did to you.” Steve stared down at her. He still had the overwhelming urge to hug her and tell her it would be all right. What was wrong with him? Thankfully, both hands were full, so hugging was out of the question.
“I’m not an idiot, Steve. The police would have bargained any information Samuel had on Adrian to get a conviction. Any possible convictions for crimes against me would have been easily traded away. We both know that’s how life works.”
Steve was a confident man. He wasn’t the sort of guy to be concerned with how he was viewed by others or regretting things that were out of his control, and he had definitely never felt any form of self-loathing. That was until he looked at Angel’s saddened eyes. Now it was devouring him. He should have fought harder at the team meetings to get her moved away. To make her safe, but he didn’t, and that was something he would have to live with. That would weigh on his conscience until the day he died. Steve knew he had to ask about the bugs, but he didn’t want to distress her anymore than she already was.
“Angel”—he spoke to her as gently as he could—“what happens from here? Now that you know about the surveillance, what are you going to do? Whose side are you choosing to be on, Angel?”
“Nothing, I’m not going to do anything.” Angel’s answer surprised him. She looked at him for a while before continuing, the sadness in her eyes evidence of his inability to help her. “And I’m not on anybody’s side, Steve, because as far as I can tell, there isn’t a side to choose from. You’re all the same.”
Chapter Five
“I’m older and I’m wiser, Angel, so you should listen to what I say.”
“Yes, Grandma.”
“I’m older and wiser, too, so you better listen to me as well.”
“Yes, Mummy, but what if you and Grandma tell me different things when I ask a question?”
“She has a point there, you and I don’t always agree, Mum.”
“Well, my little Angel, if your mother and I don’t agree then you should listen to both of us and then decide for yourself who you agree with.”
“But what if I agree with you both?”
“Oh, then you have a problem.”
The memory lolled around in Angel’s mind. She had learnt so much from her mother and grandma when she was small and remembering them always left her feeling warm on the inside.
Angel’s very superstitious grandmother had taught her that good and bad things always happened in groups of three. Because of her grandma’s teachings, Angel did not walk under ladders. She believed danger was imminent if a crow followed her, and she was wary if a black cat crossed her path. Angel doubted cutting her fingernails on a Sunday really meant the devil would be with her all week, but she made a point to never do it.
Rationally, none of it made sense, but with a definite lack of spiritual guidance during her childhood, Angel had taken everything her grandma said onboard and used it as a general guide for life. Angel preferred her grandma’s view on the world. It seemed to make more sense than her mother’s view that everything was explained through Karma. Angel used to believe that Karma existed, but after her mother died, she saw little evidence of it in her life. She used to wonder if her mother would still hold to her views of Karma knowing what Angel’s life had become. After her mother’s death, Angel tried to always be a good person. She helped others when she could. She was a good student, and apart from developing a panache for down and dirty sex, Angel believed she had sown pretty healthy Karmic seeds. But, despite good Karmic sowing, Angel’s life was not a bed of roses.
If Angel’s mum had been correct with her views on Karma, then Angel must be the devil. Given all that, Angel had decided it was much easier to believe her superstitious grandma’s view on why things happened.
If something bad happened, then Angel always expected two more sad or upsetting events to follow fairly quickly. The theory wasn’t perfect, but it was all she really had to go on as an explanation of life events. Angel sometimes found it hard to distinguish between things that were positive and negative in her life. Often what she interpreted as positive would turn into a disaster, and events that seemed destructive turned into positive experiences. Angel couldn’t decide if she had finished with her current run of negativity. She was also having difficulty deciding what category recent events needed to be placed in. Samuel’s death was liberating, but there were ramifications she was still dealing with. She had new freedom, and for the most part she was no longer living in fear. Adrian’s visit was something else altogether. Yes, he had threatened her, but despite regretting her weak-willed actions toward him, the sex had been incredibly good. Next, there was Steve, who let slip about the surveillance. She was mortified to know that the police had let her suffer at the hands of Samuel while they sat back and listened, but Angel still felt a certain comfort knowing someone was there. She liked to believe the police would not let her be killed while they listened in.
Angel liked to believe in the goodness of humanity. However, she was also aware that, on occasions, she was far too trusting when it came to others.
So, had she experienced all the bad she was going to, or was there more to come? Angel wasn’t sure. Every time things seemed to be going well, her life always went off the rails again. Since his last early-hour visit, Angel had not heard from Adrian. She hoped he had decided that she knew nothing about the ledger and wasn’t worth harassing over it. She hadn’t heard from Steve either, but she assumed her house was still bugged. Angel had started getting on with her life. She had bought a car that ran well most days. It was old and a bit dinted, but it was a good price. She had sold another article to a women’s magazine and was slowly getting back on her feet financially.
Despite all the uncertainty, Angel felt there was one event that, without a doubt, had been positive and would stay that way. That event was meeting Daniel and Christian. She hoped that once everything had been sorted out in relation to Adrian and the police they might cross her path again. If that happened, Angel had already decided she would accept anything they offered her. In the two weeks since meeting the brothers, Angel had thought about them often. They had appeared in more than one fantasy as she lay in bed masturbating. Angel knew that people were always different to the fantasies you made up about them, but she had a fair idea that if they ever got together, she wouldn’t be disappointed. Angel hoped they remembered her and used her image the way she used theirs because the thought of them getting hard when they remembered her made her instantly wet.
Daniel dialled Max’s cell phone. It had been two weeks since he and Christian had met their flirty little Angel, and they were desperate for the formal introduction Max had promised. Daniel had hoped that something could have been organised before he started back at the hospital full time, but that wish had not eventuated. He glanced at the computer screen that displayed both Christian’s and his calendars. There were very few days where one or both of them weren’t working. The next few weeks were going to be tricky to get the two of them together on the same day, let alone fit in a date that suited both Max and, of course, the elusive Cinderella.
His friend’s voice boomed into the handset. “Max speaking.”
“Max, it’s Daniel. How have you been?” Daniel didn’t want to make small talk, but he had to keep it polite even though all he wante
d was a time for the meeting to take place. Max rambled on about work, Deanna, the weather’s interference with his house renovations. Daniel barely got a word in, but then Max was like that. The main thing Daniel had learnt from Max as a mentor was to let others have a chance to speak, one thing Max rarely did.
“So how are things going with you? We must get together soon. I have some new play pieces I think you might like to include in your dungeon setup. The guy I bought them from is a local craftsman, makes the most amazing floggers and canes and does a damn good job on the larger furniture items as well.” Max finally paused long enough for Daniel to answer.
“Terrific, let’s set a date, and maybe you can invite that little Angel you know as well.” Daniel wondered whether Max had forgotten about his offer to introduce them.
“Arr yes, the heavenly Angel, I have news on that front,” Max replied. “I got Miss D to talk to her. She said she wasn’t ready to meet anyone new, had stuff to sort out in her life, blah, blah. You know the sort of thing they say when they are a bit scared of the whole blind date thing.”
“Did she know that De was talking about Christian and me?”
Daniel couldn’t believe she would say no to the prospect of meeting them. He realised that she had turned them down at the club, but he was sure the flirty attitude, both before and after the invite, was an indication of interest.
“No, Miss D just said to meet a Dom that we thought Angel would like. She was worried she would scare her off if Angel knew it was two Doms.” Max laughed. “Here’s a thought. I’ll give her a call now and talk to her direct. Will this Sunday suit you and Christian if I can organise it?”
“Definitely,” Daniel replied.
He wasn’t sure Max would get her to say yes if she had already said no to Miss D, but he was happy for him to try. From what he had seen of her and the very polite but firm way she had stuck to her resolve to leave the club, Daniel got the impression she would not change her mind about the meeting, even though he was sure she was interested in them. He walked into the bedroom that he and Christian hoped would soon belong to the woman Max referred to as Angel. Christian was in the process of painting the feature wall. Daniel had already finished the main wall colour and most of the trim. He’d left the feature wall to Christian, who, for some reason, had more of an artistic flair when it came to decorating. Under Christian’s hand, the wall had taken on a marbled effect rather than a solid colour. Christian wanted all the details of his discussion with Max, and as Daniel filled him in, his cell phone rang.