“No. I have promised to keep in touch with Violet and I will, although it will drive me insane if I hear about Michael getting married in the future. I cannot let my feelings affect what is due to Violet. She has been everything that is kind and loving, and I will not repay her by ending the association now.” Elizabeth said.
“I am sorry you did not get your happy ending.” Martha said quietly.
“So am I Martha. So am I.” Elizabeth whispered, tears blurring her vision.
*
When they reached Home Farm Elizabeth made sure that there was enough work to ensure that she rose very early in the morning and fell into bed late at night. It was the way to deal with the lead weight that she constantly seemed to be carrying around with her. Her appetite was almost non-existent and it was pure determination that kept her going. Her thoughts wanted to dwell on the chocolate eyes that haunted her dreams, but she constantly repeated the words. “I have to get over him, I have to, he doesn’t want me.”
In London, Michael was faring little better. He avoided every entertainment that was offered and visited no-one. Violet was out of her mind with worry and even though she had confided in Edward, she had no idea how to reach her brother and help him.
Fortunately, Michael was to find the reason he was subconsciously looking for. Violet and Edward were visiting him one morning, a new routine, as he no longer visited them, when Charles interrupted the gathering.
“I am sorry to intrude my Lord, but I thought you would want to see this letter immediately.” Charles handed the letter to Michael and waited while he read it.
Everyone noticed the sharp intake of breath and the deep frown that developed as Michael read. “Is everything well?” Violet asked, no longer able to sit in ignorance.
“No, Elizabeth is ill. Mr Lawson writes with the support of Miss Fairfield, to say she has been working herself too hard. Far too hard by the sounds of it, the foolish girl has not been looking after herself properly, missing meals and such like. She was found collapsed in the fields two days ago and although she has recovered, she has continued on in the same pattern. They thought it wise to let someone know.”
“Sensible man. We need to go to her.” Violet said immediately.
“We have no right to go, but I will send Charles to check everything is in order.” Michael said flatly. His first reaction had been to jump on the nearest horse, and not stop galloping until he reached her side, but he could not, she was not his.
“Charles, please do not be offended at my words,” Violet said to the loyal man of business, before turning to her brother. “Michael, what on earth can Charles do that Mr Lawson, Miss Fairfield and the rest of the staff won’t have already done?”
“No offence taken.” Charles said with a smile at Violet. He could not openly declare that his thoughts had gone along the same lines, and was relieved that Violet had spoken out.
“What can we do?” Michael snapped. “The best thing I can do is send this letter round to Halkyn and let him sort it out!”
“Lord Halkyn? What on earth has he got to do with anything?” Violet demanded.
“She’s engaged to him!” Michael almost shouted.
“Is she? I thought she was going to refuse him. In fact, I was convinced of it.” Violet said deflating at Michael’s words.
“I saw her in Hyde Park with him.” Michael said quietly.
“What did you see?” Edward asked, the first time he had spoken throughout the exchange.
“They were talking, she reached over to him.” Michael muttered.
“She kissed him in Hyde Park?” Violet asked in disbelief.
“No! She squeezed his hand, but they appeared to be on easy terms, certainly not looking like a couple who had just decided not to marry!” Michael said.
“I’m afraid that is exactly what they were.” Edward said. He laughed a little as brother and sister turned to him in unison, demanding more information. He held his hands up in mock defeat.
“I cannot believe you never mentioned anything.” Violet said in disgust at her husband.
“Violet, let the man speak.” Michael said impatiently.
“I saw Halkyn last night, he asked if it was true that Elizabeth had left London and would not be returning. After I had confirmed that was the case, he said he was sorry that she had refused his proposal, but he could not hate her for it. Her ideals about only marrying for love had touched him and he had decided to try and seek a marriage based on love himself. As he said, he had the money, so he did not have to marry unless he met the right person. I think he took Elizabeth’s rejection very well.” Edward explained.
“So she’s not engaged?” Michael asked in disbelief, his mind jumping from one thought to another.
“Shall I get the horses, my Lord?” Charles asked quietly, but with a twinkle in his eye. He returned Violet’s beaming smile with one of his own as he left the room at Michael’s nod.
“We are coming with you. I do not trust you to sort this out by yourself.” Violet said, rising and preparing to leave.
“Violet I am not a child!” Michael snapped, his mind racing with thoughts of what to do.
“Maybe not, but you have managed to make a complete mess of this so far, and I refuse to stand by and hope that you will work things out alone!” Violet responded firmly. “I will not be distracted. I am going to Yorkshire.”
“Violet, she will not appreciate being invaded, you know how independent she is.” Michael reasoned.
“You are correct, she would not want us all to arrive and there is no need at the moment,” Edward interjected before his wife could say anything else. The set of her mouth showed that she wanted to object, so Edward prudently explained himself. “We shall await a letter from Michael. If he thinks we can do the slightest thing to help, we will set out immediately. For all we know, she could be as right as rain when he arrives. Let Michael go in the first instance.”
Michael nodded in agreement and escorted his sister and husband to the door. “I only want what is best for you,” Violet said quietly reaching over to kiss her brother. “Write to us the moment you have seen her.”
“I will do everything I can for her.” Michael said, but squeezed Violet before she left. Her heart was in the right place and ultimately, she wanted the same result as he did.
Chapter 20
The following days of travel on the road were the longest of Michael’s life. He had Charles for company, but for most of the time they travelled in silence. The pace of riding was too fast for anything but the briefest conversation. Changes of horses were done in the fastest possible time, with only the minimum stops for refreshments. The nights did not offer much respite. Once Michael stopped concentrating on the road stretching out ahead, the fears of what he would find in Yorkshire took over, with the result being him staring at the ceiling long into the night.
Eventually, the village was reached where they picked up the estate road to Home Farm. Michael felt his heart rate increase as the familiar landscape passed the horsemen by. When they arrived at the house, there was no sign of Elizabeth, but the butler Smithson opened the door to greet them.
“Lord Dunham! Miss Rufford had not mentioned anything about your visiting today?” the butler said, but it was obvious there was relief on his face at seeing the gentlemen.
“It is an unexpected visit.” Michael explained. “Is Miss Rufford available?”
“She is repairing walls on the top field I believe my Lord. She insisted that she help the labourers, even though Mr Lawson was against it.”
“Are Miss Fairfield or Mr Lawson available?”
“They are undertaking business in the village for Miss Rufford. I believe it was convenient timing on my mistress’s part, not that I would wish to cast my mistress’ character into question.” the straight faced butler said.
“I’m sure it was convenient timing. As stubborn as ever I see,” Michael muttered. “I’d better go to the top field.”
Before Michael co
uld start his walk to the field, their attention was caught by the sound of a cart coming around the side of the house. As the cart came into view, it was obvious there was something amiss as a number of men surrounded it, with one leading the horse. They stopped before the doorway.
“Mr Smithson, Sir, Miss Rufford has fainted again.” The leading man said, half apologetic, half concern. The men moved aside to show the body of Elizabeth laid as careful as possible on a pile of sacks. Her pallor was deathly white.
Michael moved without thinking and lifted Elizabeth into his arms. “Smithson, order some sweet tea and something to eat. I am taking Miss Rufford to her room. Send someone to the village and bring the Doctor. Charles, when Mr Lawson and Miss Fairfield return, find out what the bloody hell has been going on here.”
At Michael’s barked words everyone sprang into action. He remembered which room Elizabeth had chosen for her own and he carried her easily up the stairs and along the landing. He laid her down on the bed and felt her forehead. Her temperature was not raised, which was a blessing; at least there was no sign of fever. Elizabeth had never mentioned such an affliction before. He had no idea what could be causing it, but he did know that constant fainting was not healthy.
Michael covered Elizabeth with a blanket and stepped back, she looked so small and vulnerable. What had happened to the bundle of energy that he had fallen in love with? It had been less than two weeks since he had seen her last, but she had lost weight and had dark rings under her eyes. Something was wrong and he was determined that she would accept his help, whether she wished it or not. He tried to dismiss the feeling of helplessness that threatened him as he watched her. Why she brought out such feelings in him, when other women had not even stirred slight interest from him, he had no idea. Whatever it was, he wished he could control himself more. All he wanted to do was to curl up by her side and not move until she was well again.
Elizabeth opened her eyes slowly, she felt comfortable and warm. The urge to keep her eyes closed and sleep was great, but she forced herself back to consciousness. There was too much to do, and she would not give anyone the chance to say that she had failed in running her estate as well as in love. If she remained lying still she would just start to think and she could not allow herself to do that. Thinking would bring on tears and she would not be so weak.
She opened her eyes slowly and immediately saw Michael standing over her. She blinked a number of times before she believed that he was real. “Michael, what are you doing here?” she asked starting to raise herself.
“Stay exactly where you are,” Michael said firmly. “I have come to visit and it looks like my timing was perfect. I want to know what has been going on. We can discuss it later though, you can stay still for now, the doctor will be here shortly.”
“Doctor? I don’t need a Doctor!” Elizabeth sat up quickly and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, but the movement caused the dizziness to return and she swayed.
Michael moved to support her. “You silly girl, lie back before you faint again.” Elizabeth complied reluctantly.
Smithson entered the room and placed a tea tray next to the bed. “Tea as requested my Lord, the doctor is on his way. Miss Fairfield and Mr Lawson have returned and are speaking to Mr Anderton.”
Michael nodded his approval and poured the tea, adding three spoonfuls of sugar. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed the cup near Elizabeth’s lips. “Drink this, it will help.”
Elizabeth took a sip and then pulled a face. “That tastes disgusting! How much sugar is there in it?”
“Enough to stop you fainting every time you move,” Michael shrugged, forcing more of the drink on Elizabeth.
“Do you know how much sugar costs? Some of us have to watch what we spend,” Elizabeth retorted crossly.
“You must be very poor if the reports are true, and you are not eating,” Michael responded.
Elizabeth flushed, “I am eating and no one has the right to report anything to you. I am my own mistress here. You are my guardian no longer, you told me that yourself. Don’t worry! I received all my paperwork on my birthday. I am officially an independent woman.”
Michael looked at Elizabeth for a long moment before replying. “I am and always will be your friend first and foremost Elizabeth. I thought we had cleared that up a long time ago. Yes, you are mistress here, but perhaps your staff care enough to want what’s best for you. None of us are too grown-up to stop caring for, and being cared for, by those who are important to us. I will leave you alone until after the doctor has arrived, but I will be asking for a full report from him when he leaves, mistress or not.”
Elizabeth slumped back; she had not the energy to retort, but part of her felt relief at Michael’s interference. She had not purposely stopped eating. It was more that she had had a drive to prove something, to who or what she was not quite sure anymore. One thing was clear from being in Michael’s company for even such a short time; her emotions were in turmoil the moment he was in any proximity to her.
It had been wonderful to see him standing next to her bed. The thoughts and feelings that had rushed through her body at that moment would have probably made her head pound if she had tried any movement. She must pull herself together though, since he had not come before now. His visit was probably just a coincidence and he would soon leave her alone again, to a life without him at its centre. The thought depressed her and she lay back in her bed. She must stop thinking that a life without Michael was a half life, he did not want her. She cursed herself, she had never been so simpering in her life and it disgusted her, she would have to snap out of this melancholy.
Michael joined the others in the study. Miss Fairfield left the room after agreeing to bring the doctor to Michael when he had finished his examination. Charles suggested that Mr Lawson inform Michael of what had been happening.
“She was always a hard worker on her father’s estate,” Mr Lawson began. “She wanted to gain her father’s approval; he had wanted a boy you see.”
“Yes, Miss Rufford explained that when we first met.” Michael said. Poor Elizabeth, not only had she known that her father was disappointed that she was a girl, but everyone else seemed to know too.
“She was as good as any estate manager I knew, something her father and the now late Mr Rufford failed to appreciate. But when she returned here, I had never seen her like this.”
“Like what?” Michael asked.
“So, driven, I suppose I would describe it as. It was as if this estate could not fail. I have told her time and time again that it would take more than a few months to turn everything around, but for the first time in her life she wasn’t listening. Everything had to be done and it had to be done immediately.”
“And the fainting?”
“It started as I described in the letter I sent. Although I had not met you, my Lord, what with you being in the position of Miss Rufford’s guardian, Miss Fairfield and I thought you should know. Miss Fairfield was convinced you were the person to help us. I was easily convinced because on the very few occasions Miss Rufford mentioned her time in London, she said it was the happiest time of her life.”
Michael hid the frown that was in danger of developing. Elizabeth saying that the time in London was the happiest time of her life? She hated the social whirl. What could she have possibly meant? All she had wanted to do while in London was to return to her estate, it did not make sense. Something was obviously very wrong.
When the doctor entered the study, Michael was alone. Charles had gone to arrange their accommodation and Mr Lawson had returned to his work. Michael was looking out of the window, pondering over Mr Lawson’s words.
“My Lord?”
Michael turned and indicated the doctor should take a seat. “I hope you found no cause for worry after examining my ward?” He kept his tone light, to prevent the doctor from detecting any sense of dread he felt. He referred to Elizabeth as his ward purposely, she may have had her birthday, but she still belonged to hi
m.
“At the moment, she is well.” the doctor replied.
“At the moment?” Michael queried, a tightness developing in his chest.
“If she continues to do what she is doing, she will likely send herself into an early grave. She is working too hard, while all but starving herself. She can’t explain why, just that she has no appetite. It appears she has some sort of malady, strange in one so young and normally healthy. I have ordered rest and a fortifying diet that Miss Fairfield has gone to discuss with the cook. I cannot stress enough that Miss Rufford cannot maintain this unusual level of activity without sustenance. Of course, if she is sensible, she will recover quickly. It is obvious she has previously had a strong constitution.”
“I understand Doctor,” Michael responded firmly. “I will personally guarantee that she will no longer miss mealtimes.”
Michael sent a message to Elizabeth to enquire if she was well enough to join him in the drawing room for afternoon tea. The concern over Elizabeth had meant that Michael had missed luncheon and was now ready to eat at least a plate of cakes. He ordered the tea and edibles and awaited Elizabeth’s arrival.
When she opened the door, she was no longer in breeches, as she had been when returned to the house. Her hair had also been redone and although she was still very pale, there was a slight blush to her cheeks as she entered.
“You must think I am very foolish.” she began as soon as she entered.
“I am concerned for you,” Michael replied. “If you heed the doctor’s advice, there will be no need for me to think you foolish. We can all become careless occasionally.”
“You are too kind and too indulgent.” Elizabeth responded.
Michael poured the tea and filled a plate with cakes and fancies for each of them. He was wary of this meek Elizabeth. “Eat these; neither of us has eaten for hours.”
Elizabeth started to eat, albeit slowly, but at least she was not refusing food, Michael thought with relief. “I will be well; I will listen to the doctor. There is no need to worry about me. I do not like the thought of putting you to any trouble.”
An Inconvenient Trilogy - Three Regency Romances: Inconvenient Ward, Wife, Companion - all published separately on Kindle and paperback Page 17