He took a large gulp of his port, not only had the Gods made her with child, they made her even more beautiful and unreachable. His dreams would be tortured tonight.
A small table had been set up in the dining room, there were only the five of them, including Mr Lawson. Laura had taken to the elderly steward. His face was ruddy with spending so much of his time outdoors, and his thick grey hair was a little longer than was normally worn, giving him the appearance of being a little wild. His mannerisms and voice were so gentle and calming that within minutes Laura had fallen under his spell. He spoke very highly of Lady Dunham and chuckled as he reminisced with Martha about the days before Lady Dunham had married.
“Lady Dunham insists that I let her know if you are satisfied with the cottage that is yours when a replacement for you is found,” Martha said to Mr Lawson.
“I am,” came the firm response. “I am fond of my brother, but I could not face finishing my days in a city. I want to be able to roam the hills and torment the new steward,” he chuckled.
The group laughed with him. “Is there anyone you know of who would like to take over the position?” Charles asked. Personal recommendation was always better than sending out an advertisement.
“Not really,” Mr Lawson said with the first signs of a frown. “There isn’t enough work here for a full-time steward. Since the major work has been done, the estate runs like a well oiled machine,” he admitted. “If you attract a younger man, they are probably going to move on to a larger estate before too long.”
“That’s what I am afraid of,” Charles admitted. “Lord Dunham is keen to avoid change after change happening. It can cause the rest of the staff to be unsettled and ultimately isn’t good for the estate.”
“I agree, it may be worthwhile looking for the older end of the workforce, someone like me, who wanted to slow down,” Mr Lawson said, showing that he too had been pondering over the problem since he had decided that he wanted to retire.
“The only problem with that is less work and less hours, also means less money,” Charles said with a small smile. “If there is a family attached with the steward that may not be an option that many can afford.”
“Well I suppose all you can do is advertise for the post and see who comes forward,” Mr Lawson said.
“Yes, I will send out an advertisement tomorrow. I think I will send it to the local papers in a wide area, to try and attract the most applications.”
Mr Lawson turned to Laura and Alfred, “I’m sure Miss Fairfield and Mr Anderton have both explored this estate on previous visits, but I would suggest the walk to the top field is a good one. The views of the surrounding areas are worth seeing.”
“It’s my first time out of London, so every sight is worth seeing,” Laura responded honestly.
“In that case, can I suggest a horse and carriage ride over the wider area?” Mr Lawson suggested, warming to the fact that he could suggest a whole range of places that the pair could visit.
Alfred listened in silence to the group. Charles and Laura seemed content to encourage the conversation along. Martha was a little quiet, but not as quiet as himself. He was a little out of his depth, as the countryside and all its ways were not his natural environment. Although he had been out of London before, he still considered himself very much a city dweller, even though it was the seedier side of the city.
The wine that he was drinking was easing the pain that he felt every time he looked at Laura, but it did cause him to agree to escort her around the estate the following morning, before realising what he had agreed to. The result being that he spent the remainder of the evening cursing himself for putting himself more in her company, when he should be avoiding her as much as he possibly could, for his own sanity.
*
Alfred awoke with a head that ached. Too much wine was never a good idea, especially when he had agreed on a horse and carriage ride. This would not be the comfortable carriage that they had travelled north in, but a practical one, which would emphasise, rather than soothe a headache.
Laura dressed in a simple brown dress. It showed just what a difference in quality she was used to, when an obvious day gown, felt like it was made from the most exquisite of material and trimmings. She hoped that she could keep the dresses after the birth of the baby, she would happily take them in and wear them until they dropped from her shoulders. Her previous dresses had been designed for practicality, whereas these were designed for elegance.
She sat next to Alfred on the double seat at the front of the carriage. It was the first time she had been close to him since they had left London, which felt like an eternity ago. They started off in silence, Alfred looking pale, with a deep frown on his forehead. Laura ignored the feelings that Alfred’s silence brought and concentrated on looking around her. The open spaces felt a little daunting. In London everything was so close, noisy and confined, that it was strange to hear birdsong, and not be able to see another person for miles.
They had been travelling for about half an hour when Laura grabbed Alfred’s arm. “Look, over there in that field! Is it a rabbit?”
Alfred followed Laura’s pointing finger and nodded, “Yes, it is, although it’s not staying around,” he said as the rabbit disappeared into the hedgerow.
“That’s the first time I’ve ever seen a live one,” Laura said. “It wouldn’t be alive long if it dared to venture along the streets of London.”
“No,” Alfred responded with a small smile, “Although I’m sure it wouldn’t last long around here too, it’s a popular dish.”
“It must be fresher here though. Just imagine having fresh food all the time,” Laura said with longing. Some of the food that was available in London was so old that very strong sauces had to be used to hide the rank taste. That was after getting rid of any live insects off it, of course.
“A nice thought, maybe there are advantages to being in the countryside after all,” Alfred admitted.
The tension seemed to ease a little between the pair and they carried on in a more companionable silence, occasionally broken when one or the other saw something of interest.
They stopped at lunchtime, when Alfred saw a suitable spot near a small stream. He led the horse to the stream for a drink, before securing it to a tree and then set out the picnic that had been supplied by Cook.
“I will soon resemble the side of a cart if I continue to eat this much and do nothing,” Laura said biting into a large piece of bread and cheese.
“You’ll just have to stop being so lazy then,” Alfred teased.
Laura smiled good-naturedly, “You are right, I’m just out of my usual setting a little and I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to be doing. I have wanted to go into the kitchen and get Cook to put me to work!”
Alfred laughed, “I don’t suppose many guests of Lord and Lady Dunham have done that before,” he said.
“I expect not,” Laura responded. “Do you know what I mean though, Alfred? This isn’t our world is it? It’s a dream, but one that will come to an end, and when it does the memory will keep me warm until my dying day.”
Alfred heard and understood the wistfulness in Laura’s voice. Their world was one that usually kept a firm grip of its occupants. “No, it isn’t our world and I suppose longing for something that we can’t have will do us no good.” His words were not just referring to the gentle life, he longed for Laura far more than he longed for anything else.
“I suppose not,” Laura said. “But I intend enjoying it while I can.” She stretched out on the blanket that Alfred had laid on the ground and went to rest her head on his lap. She looked him full in the eyes when he looked as if he was going to move away. “I want a pillow, nothing else, are you going to be awkward?”
“No,” Alfred said gruffly. Any contact with her was torture and he wanted to avoid it at all cost, but he was not a cruel man and she was having an enjoyable day which he did not want to spoil.
Laura lay her head on Alfred’s lap and closed her
eyes. She did not dare to keep them open, for fear they would betray the joy in finally being able to touch him, even though it was under duress on his part. She let the warmth of the day cover her like a blanket and relaxed into the ground.
Alfred studied Laura as she rested. She had a pretty face, spoiled by the grey pallor of her skin caused by a hard life and not enough fresh air. Although he did not want to alter the peaceful mood of the afternoon, he was curious to find out about Laura’s background.
“What happened to your family?” he asked.
Laura covered her eyes, in order that she could open them. “Why?” she asked.
“I just wondered about them from something you said when Veronica had gone missing,” Alfred explained.
Laura smiled, “Are Bow Street Runners never off duty?” she teased.
Alfred grimaced, “Probably not and it’s Bow Street Officers if you don’t mind, ‘Runner’ is a very insulting term,” he said, reiterating the complaint of every Bow Street Officer who heard the nickname ‘Runner’.
“Whatever you say Officer,” Laura teased, but then put her hand down and closed her eyes once more. “I’ve no idea what happened to my family. I was brought up in a foundling hospital until I was sent out to work in a house when I’d turned eight.”
“Were you a domestic servant?” Alfred asked.
“That’s what I was supposed to be,” Laura admitted. “Only I had the misfortune of being sent to a Baron’s home, bet you can’t guess which one?” she said with derision. “My hair colour attracted him, something out of the ordinary, you see. He was always looking to make as much money as he could.”
“Surely he did not make you….” Alfred started. His blood boiling at the thought of an eight year old being forced into the life Laura led. He had unconsciously moved his hand to Laura’s hair and started to stroke it comfortingly.
“No, he didn’t, not then,” Laura said quietly. “I was taken out of the scullery though, he didn’t want me spoiling. I actually thought he was a guardian angel, rescuing me from the drudgery that was the scullery. Life in the foundling hospital hadn’t been easy, but it nothing compared to the work I had to do once I was sent to the house. Some of the pans were nearly as big as me and woe betide me if I left any dirt on them. I was so happy to be taken out of there. Unfortunately, it wasn’t many years before I wished with my every fibre that he’d left me there.”
Alfred kept stroking her hair. “When?” he asked.
“I was ten,” Laura said, her voice flat. “He could get a lot of money for an innocent that young.”
“He deserves to be hung,” Alfred said angrily. He felt sick inside to think how many young girls suffered the same fate.
Laura was pleased at Alfred’s response, but she did not let it show. “I’ve had a long time to realise that there was nothing to be gained in regretting what happened. I survived, I was fed and got paid, I may have hated it, but I didn’t have many choices did I?”
“No, but who could do that to a child?” Alfred muttered darkly.
“Many people, which is why the Barons of this world get richer and get away with murder, literally. At least we have this to make up for it though,” she said with a happy sigh.
“Yes, we do,” Alfred said, stroking her hair. How could someone put an innocent child through such an experience? It was a miracle she had not turned into some bitter and twisted person, instead of the kind, considerate woman that she was. “Is that why you helped Lady Halkyn?”
“Maybe,” Laura acknowledged. “I knew what was happening before he took Charlotte, and although I didn’t agree with it, it didn’t strike me about how wrong it was until I saw her face when she realised how she’d been tricked. She seemed too young and innocent to be forced into marriage with some old crony.” Laura reflected on the part that she had been forced to play in the kidnapping of young girls, to force them into marriage with men who wanted a very young bride. Usually the type of men who could not get a wife through normal courtship.
“Yet, she was years older than you had been,” Alfred pointed out.
“It still didn’t mean it was right,” Laura responded reasonably. “At least there were a few days before she was due to be married. Kersal had wanted to make sure she was under his roof before the gentleman came to collect his prize.”
“I wondered why there had been a delay in taking her to the marriage ceremony,” Alfred mused.
“He wanted to make sure any signs of a struggle had faded,” Laura said. “Thankfully, Lord Halkyn visited two nights in succession, so she was able to seek his help. Luckily we picked the right man.”
“Did you ever….?” Alfred asked. He had no right to ask the question, or to feel a knot in his stomach as he waited for the response.
“No,” Laura said quietly. She moved and sat up facing Alfred. “Alfred…..”
“It’s none of my business, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” he responded apologetically.
“You know what my job was,” Laura said, with remorse. “I can’t change my history Alfred, as much as I may wish.”
“I know, I was being unfair,” he said and he knew that he was, it was just when he had to imagine her with someone else, it did something to his insides that he was not able to stop. It was especially hard for a man like Alfred to deal with as he was usually so much in control.
“You couldn’t be unfair if your life depended on it, you are too good,” Laura said standing and shaking out her skirts.
“You know nothing about me,” Alfred said, a touch bitter about the misplaced compliment.
“Well it isn’t from want of trying,” Laura said provocatively. “Now take me home.”
Chapter 11
Each day Alfred and Laura either walked or rode out onto the land, both expressing a desire to see the extensive estate, which was partly true. They were both enjoying being out in the open after so much time spent indoors. Laura was enjoying noticing the different flowers and trees. She did not wish to appear ignorant, but felt comfortable enough in Alfred’s company that she could exclaim in delight at each new sight.
The real reason though, was that they wanted to spend time together. They liked Martha and Charles and the evenings were spent with them and Mr Lawson, but during the day Martha and Charles had duties to perform. So, rather than spend time inside, under the scrutiny of the staff, they spent every moment they could outside.
Each day they talked, little by little getting to know one another. Laura was more forthcoming than Alfred about her opinions, while he tried to deflect away any talk about himself, but Laura persisted. They usually finished whatever walk or ride they went on with time spent near the stream that they had found on the first day. Laura usually relaxing on Alfred’s lap, somehow this was the most comfortable for talking, each avoiding eye contact, which made it more anonymous in a way.
One afternoon, Laura decided that it was time that she found out more about Alfred. He had questioned her closely about her time in the foundling hospital and her life in London since the raid on Baron Kersal’s house, but he had been more reluctant to offer information about himself.
She had settled into place on Alfred’s lap and decided to try again. “So what attracted you to Bow Street?” she asked. “Do you like danger?”
“I don’t think anyone likes danger, if they are honest,” Alfred replied.
“I suppose not, but then what does attract you to a job that involves putting your own safety at risk?” she asked.
“It chose me, rather than the other way around,” Alfred said, obscurely.
“That’s sounds like an interesting story,” Laura responded.
“Not really,” came the response. “Why did you not come into the offices when you needed my help?” Alfred said, changing the subject as he always did when it seemed like the conversation was focusing too much on himself.
Laura moved quicker than most women in her condition could and sat up, facing Alfred. She put her arm over his legs and
leant on the grass. “Alfred Peters, what are you hiding from me?” she demanded, sick of his aversion to speaking about himself.
“Nothing,” Alfred responded, not meeting her gaze.
“Nothing, my foot!” Laura snorted. “How can you expect me to believe such a blatant lie when I’m used to dealing with some of the greatest liars and cheats that exist in society?”
“You really should keep better company,” Alfred tried to joke.
“Ha, well I’m beginning to think that you’re questionable company, you’re being so secretive,” Laura responded tartly. Her words had been said in jest, but the moment they were uttered, she knew she had hit a nerve with Alfred. His gaze caught hers for a second before looking away again, but in that second she had seen such a haunted expression that it made her ache inside. She suddenly realised that Alfred was right when he had said that he was not the person she had thought he was.
Laura waited for a few moments, wanting Alfred to speak first, but it was apparent that he was not going to. She reached over with her other hand and touched his cheek, brushing his face gently with the back of her fingers. “What is it Alfred?”
“You think I’m good and I’m decent and I’m anything but,” came the quiet response.
Laura’s heart skipped a beat, she had always been able to read people quickly and well, it had helped her to survive. It scared her to think that she may have been wrong with Alfred, but then she controlled her feelings, because he had never shown her anything but decency. “You have been good to me,” she responded quietly, still stroking his face. “What happened that you think I would change my opinion of you?”
“It will,” Alfred said dully. “But I can see that I am not going to get any peace until I tell you.”
“You are right about that,” Laura responded with a gentle smile. It worried her that Alfred looked so troubled.
An Inconvenient Trilogy - Three Regency Romances: Inconvenient Ward, Wife, Companion - all published separately on Kindle and paperback Page 49